a blog that was started by a depressed teen finding her way, but is now a strong ass wife & mother, advocating self expression, and using your fucking voice.
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its been years… i forgot i even had a tumblr. or blog. lol.
but just here to say… i got out. i learned what its like to actually live. love. dream, and then dream bigger. i got everything i ever wanted. i married the perfect man, we built a life together. we have a beautiful house, a beautiful daughter. he’s a person that even after years of dating and years of marriage i still want to spend all my time with. my rock, my soul, my world. and to be able to say i am happy, and i am living a life younger me longed for and dreamed of is such an achievement. go me.
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Jesus Christ what was I thinking. That relationship ending up fucking me up in every aspect and put my life on hold for so long. I was so held back and controlled and manipulated. God damn, looking back I hate what I put myself through. So happy to realize I literally don’t need anyone. But having someone, is just a bonus.
him.
I don’t think I would be where I’m at now without him. I have progressed more in the last 5 months with him than I have in the last two years. I have never had the strive to be something more than I am. I have never had so much ambition to go out and do greater things until him. Because of him, I’m experiencing life, I’m growing, I’m progressing, I’m happy. I don’t know if he knows. At this point I don’t care if he feels the same or is on the same page as me. But without him… I would not be who I am now. I am thankful for everything he has done and continues to do for me. I see a future, a good one. I see an endless adventure. All thanks to him. I am in love with him, and he knows it.
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Going back and reading this, ^^^ I realize I just tried to make light of an ugly situation. And now that I’m in a healthy, happy relationship. I realized living with your significant other is easy, beautiful, fun, and just like the movies if it’s with the right person.
The truth about living with your significant other young...
It’s far from what you see in the movies. It isn’t waking up to kisses, dancing around the kitchen cooking breakfast. It isn’t coming home from work to the table set up with Chinese take out, or steak dinner. It’s not a walk on the beach. Especially not young. Its rough nights of sleep. It’s waking up stressed. It’s sometimes silent mornings with no words. It’s long days at work coming home and wanting to sleep. It’s being angry and agitated and annoyed. It’s bickering about whose gonna do the dishes. It’s struggling and stressing about your finances. It’s wanting to blame the other for your misfortunes because now you’re not just working for and disappointing yourself, they’re a part of it now too. It test your relationship on a daily basis. It’s not beautiful. It’s not what dreams are made of. It’s not picture perfect. It’s hard. But it’s making plans, fighting for a future, working your ass off to the bigger picture. It’s laughing, because you’re so broke you sell your TVs and it’s okay, because you’re living with your best friend and you can’t stay bored with them. It’s eating ramen for a week and scarfing down home cooked food at your families once a week. I promise you there are days you wonder if it’s worth it. But without a doubt, I never have thought it wasn’t. Living with your significant other is extremely tough. Its pretty god damn ugly sometimes. In my case at least, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Nothing in life that’s worth it, will come easy. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these moments. I wouldn’t grow. I wouldn’t experience the tough parts of love. I wouldn’t learn what it is to be a good partner, and be a team. I wouldn’t learn how to stop being so selfish. I wouldn’t realize that, right now I have everything I need. I have a person willing to push through the hardest parts of life with me by their side. A person I have grown with. A person who I am building a future with and who also wants the best in life. So just know it’s not perfect, and it’s not easy but if you do it with the right person, and work through it. You’re gonna have beautiful future you earned, and worked for together. That’s the truth.
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The truth about living with your significant other young...
It's far from what you see in the movies. It isn't waking up to kisses, dancing around the kitchen cooking breakfast. It isn't coming home from work to the table set up with Chinese take out, or steak dinner. It's not a walk on the beach. Especially not young. Its rough nights of sleep. It's waking up stressed. It's sometimes silent mornings with no words. It's long days at work coming home and wanting to sleep. It's being angry and agitated and annoyed. It's bickering about whose gonna do the dishes. It's struggling and stressing about your finances. It's wanting to blame the other for your misfortunes because now you're not just working for and disappointing yourself, they're a part of it now too. It test your relationship on a daily basis. It's not beautiful. It's not what dreams are made of. It's not picture perfect. It's hard. But it's making plans, fighting for a future, working your ass off to the bigger picture. It's laughing, because you're so broke you sell your TVs and it's okay, because you're living with your best friend and you can't stay bored with them. It's eating ramen for a week and scarfing down home cooked food at your families once a week. I promise you there are days you wonder if it's worth it. But without a doubt, I never have thought it wasn't. Living with your significant other is extremely tough. Its pretty god damn ugly sometimes. In my case at least, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Nothing in life that's worth it, will come easy. I wouldn't be who I am today without these moments. I wouldn't grow. I wouldn't experience the tough parts of love. I wouldn't learn what it is to be a good partner, and be a team. I wouldn't learn how to stop being so selfish. I wouldn't realize that, right now I have everything I need. I have a person willing to push through the hardest parts of life with me by their side. A person I have grown with. A person who I am building a future with and who also wants the best in life. So just know it's not perfect, and it's not easy but if you do it with the right person, and work through it. You're gonna have beautiful future you earned, and worked for together. That's the truth.
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I hate that.
I hate that I can't control the fact I am so in love I am scared. Of everything.
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