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Plan D always results in at least one death.

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guess i'll put this here too, even though its past the day in my timezone lol

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Squish the demon lol

Btw just wanted to share another Alastor character analysis that I posted on twitter the other day

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They are so husbands👏

(they should really team-up to bully someone❤)

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I want my brain to make ideas. But all it want to do is malfunction:(

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Guys. Guys. Guys

Angender alastor

Guys

Agender alastor

Agender alastor guys

Please

I need agender alastor

I beg you please

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val needs to be put on a leash. then be taken out back and shot like old yeller

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PSA:

“Asexuality” is a sexual orientation describing little to no sexual attraction

“Ayyyyy, sexuality!” is a guy at a bar imitating Chandler from Friends while talking about sexuality

“Aye, sexuality,” is a pirate giving his kids ‘the talk’

learn and know the difference!

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How They React To You Sitting On Their Laps

Imagine you sit on Alastor’s, Lucifer’s, Husk’s, Vox’s, Adam’s, Sir Pentious’s and Saint Peter’s laps? You’re not in a relationship with any of them, btw.

Alastor:

Alastor’s hands seized your hips, his claws threatening to tear into the thin fabric of your skirt as you shifted on his lap, trying to make yourself comfortable. “What are you doing?” He hissed, a forbidden feeling stirring in between his legs. Alastor was struggling to pay attention to Charlie’s speech, distracted by the feeling of your clothed cunt against his crotch.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, but you only apologized for the dampness that suddenly seeped through your panties, staining his once pristine slacks. “I didn’t mean to—“

“Oh, darling, it’s too late for that,” Alastor whispered back, the usual static behind his voice absent. “Now, be a good girl and keep that mouth of yours shut.”

Alastor’s ragged breaths caressed your nape, giving in to the need to feel you and tentatively moving your hips against his. Even though your clit dragged perfectly against his erection, you only finished quickly because the Radio Demon was dry humping you in a room full of people, your lips parting with a silent moan as he told you to meet him at his tower later.

Lucifer:

Lucifer stared up into the ceiling, his hands restlessly flexing against your waist as he tried to avoid the sight of your ass wiggling against his crotch. “I don’t mind standing, you know,” He told you, chuckling nervously. You couldn’t let the King of Hell give up his seat for you, but by the time you settled down, it was too late, his erection slotted in between your clothed cunt.

“Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, feeling utterly ashamed, but you pretended to act clueless. “I’m not a pervert, I swear.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, looking over your shoulder and peering down at the man, a look of surprise on his face.

Lucifer sucked in his lower lip, stifling a groan when you proceeded to grind down onto his lap, his crotch dampening in no time. He felt absolutely filthy as you, a stranger, effortlessly coaxed an orgasm out of him in a room full of people. It took all of Lucifer’s willpower not to hike your skirt up over your waist and push your panties aside to bury himself into you.

Husk:

Husk held onto your hips, his face nestled in the crook of your neck as you sat on his lap, trying to distract you from his growing erection. “How’s ya drink, doll?” He spoke into your ear, pop music blaring in the background. You peered down at him, an amused smile gracing your lips. Husk wasn’t usually so talkative, but you quickly figured out what was his deal.

“It’s good, do you want to try it?” You asked him, purposely shifting against his crotch as you turned around to offer him some. “Come on, I know you want a taste, old man.”

“The Hell is that supposed to mean?” Husk responded gruffly, his eyes nervously darting to everybody else at the booth, making sure they weren’t paying attention. “I’m just…ya know, ‘cause ya movin’ too much—“

Husk hissed when you wiggled your ass, his hands gripping your hips with a bruising strength. He tried to warn you, but you didn’t care, taking a sip of your drink as you dragged your clothed cunt against his erection. Husk eventually gave into your ministrations, taking advantage of the loud environment and sighing into your neck, thrusting up to relieve himself alongside you.

Vox:

Vox’s claws tapped impatiently against the armrest of his chair as you sat on his lap, that dreaded pencil skirt of yours riding up incredibly high. “Are you almost done?” He asked, trying to focus on you working instead of your exposed panties, the thin, lacey fabric teasing him from his peripheral vision. You nodded, sitting down completely as you rebooted his monitors.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry for taking long,” You said, smiling to yourself at the feeling of your boss’s growing erection poking your ass. “You need to stop interacting with random links, by the way.”

“I swear, I haven’t interacted with a single link since you last helped me out,” Vox said. You hummed as if you weren’t the one who had purposely downloaded viruses to sit on his lap again. “It must be something else.”

Vox huffed, annoyed, but then you leaned forward, slightly lifting your ass up and pretending to resume your attention to his monitors. There was no way you hadn’t felt his erection, his eyes flitting down to see your panties drenched in your slick. Vox decided to buck up into your clothed cunt, and when you responded with a soft moan, he decided to fuck you on his desk for being a tease.

Adam:

Adam bounced his leg as you sat on his lap, a wicked smile growing on his face when you dropped your pen, your clothed cunt throbbing against his thigh. “Something the matter, babe?” He said, hooking his fingers underneath your skirt, moving it further up your waist. You were annoyed, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but part your legs and give Adam what he wanted.

“This is due in less than half an hour, sir,” You huffed, picking up your pen once more and trying to get back to your paperwork on your desk. “I need to do my job—“

“I’m your boss, babe, relax! You won’t get fired—I won’t let it happen,” Adam said, his erection poking at your ass. “Now, be a good girl and ride my fucking leg. Come on, don’t be shy.”

Adam placed one hand on your hip and the other on your breast, encouraging you to move against him. And you did, abandoning the paperwork and bracing yourself on the corners of your desk, feeling absolutely filthy as you dragged your cunt on the man’s leg, drenching his robes with your juices in no time. That was only the beginning, however, feeling him pushing your panties aside.

Sir Pentious:

Sir Pentious tried to give up his spot on the couch for you, but when you declined, he offered you his lap like the gentlemen he was. “Is everything alright, my dear?” He asked you, his hands flexing against your waist. You kept shifting in his lap, and oh, Pentious was trying his absolute best to not let it get to him. But with your skirt hiking up with your ministrations, he was struggling.

“Sorry, we’ve just been here for a while so I’m starting to get restless,” You whispered to him, which was partly true.

“Oh, I sssee,” Pentious said, interrupting himself with a squeak as he felt the warmth of your clothed cunt, but he didn’t have the heart to tell you to stop.

Sir Pentious sunk into the couch, biting his tongue as you subtly rocked against his crotch, oblivious to the fact that you were trying to figure out if the rumors about him having two dicks were true. And they were, a blush creeping up your neck at the feeling of them poking you. You felt bad for lying to Pentious, but you’d make it up to him later, willing to put both of your holes to use.

Saint Peter:

Saint Peter shifted underneath you, your clothed cunt slack against his crotch as you sat on his lap, so warm and tempting. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” He nervously chuckled, struggling to fend off the feeling stirring in between his legs while you looked through the list of people slated to arrive in Heaven. Peter hoped that God would forgive him for the sinful thoughts that circulated his mind.

“It gets longer with time, right?” You asked him, slowly turning to the next page, a small smile gracing your lips as his breath hitched.

“I, uh—excuse me?” Peter said, confused, but then you said ‘The Book,’ shame flooding his brain for misinterpreting your question. “Oh! Yes, yes. Of course. Every day there’s a new page.”

Saint Peter deflated at that, so you decided to stop being a tease and moved against his crotch. He opened his mouth to ask you what you were doing, but you tossed your head back onto his shoulder, carding a hand through his hair and bringing him in for a kiss. You swallowed the surprised gasp that escaped Peter’s throat, including his shame as you ruined his favorite robes with your juices.

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zoology is so fucking funny. what do you mean we’ve never seen a baby great white shark. what do you mean we’ve never documented a single melanistic cougar despite it being entirely possible. I dunno man. Anyways a new amphipod was just discovered 92639273947294729 meters beneath the sea

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Hey can you hold this onion for me? I’m using it for tonight’s dinner, so keep an eye on it for me ok?

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I Will Not Apologize

Happy Pride, ya'll.

$3 download (includes version where you can color in your own Pride flag. Limited restrictions, mostly don't be a fascist or major company: https://ko-fi.com/s/ac6c284e8c

Prints: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/mxmorgan/

Shirts: https://mxmorgan.threadless.com/mens/t-shirt/regular

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People said that Tumblr isn't a great place to post original art that isn't fanart, but I'm doing it anyway because I haven't got the motivation to draw anything else

Happy pride month lads! 🧡💛🤍💙

from an aroace potato :)

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RadioApple Day 4: Drinking/Bonding

This time it's at @deadspaceguy1 's fantasy AU! Man do I love how these backgrounds turned out ✨

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THIS IS SO SWEET HELLO??????

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Miku! Eggman :3