m-b-tea-me

[m-b-tea-me]

shits I’ve said as an ENTP pt.1

“Yeah, she might be hotter than me, but that means I’m cooler than her.”

“I don’t care about your position and how old you are. Because if you’re wrong, you ARE wrong, and you should be corrected right away.”

“No, I’m not disrespectful for authority figures. It’s just that I hate people who spread bullshit, and most of the time they happen to be authority figures.”

“He’s right, but his arguments are shitty. It pisses me off.”

“With such an illogical mindset, it’s certainly a wonder that he can find his own butthole.”

“Your belief is invalid. You can believe that 2+2 equals 5, but that’s still 4.”

“Everything is a sexual reference. Humans are mammals, sex is one of the most important instincts because it provides the survival of our species. So, I’m not a pervert, I’m just constantly aware of my biology.”

“No, I’m not saying you have a bad taste. I’m just saying that you are blind.”

[m-b-tea-me]

I'm an infj, marry me please

Let's do it. Bring the documents.

[m-b-tea-me]

Hi, I’m an Enfp and I’ve noticed that most of the people I like are Entps. As an Entp how do you think a relationship between an Enfp and entp would work out. Also, little side note, i discovered your blog three hours ago and I love it.

Hello!!

Wow, firstly i applaud your strength because i can't imagine crushing on an entp being easy.

I love the enfps i know in my life because that Ne connection is just so magical. I mean who else is gonna indulge my craziness the way a fellow Ne dom would? And things are kept fresh constantly because we're different enough to keep each other amused.

I think probably the biggest issue in this pairing would be the Fi vs Ti. We operate quite differently internally even if we seem super similar to an outsider.

Most the enfps i know are very emotionally intense and value intimacy greatly...entps, not so much. One pattern I've noticed is basically:

Enfp: how can you be so cold? how can you be so BLIND to my feelings?

Entp: I really don't get why such small things upset you. Do we REALLY have to do this lil argument/dance every single time?

Of course it ultimately depends on the maturity of both people as well as their willingness to work through things and compromise.

But remember, mbti isn't everything!

[m-b-tea-me]

yeah, I'm an ENTP

• Egotistical

• Not very smart

• Trust issues woohoo

• Please end me

yeah, I’m an INFP

Idiot

Not very smart

Fucking stupid

Pretty dumb

[m-b-tea-me]

Perceivers: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Judgers: I am going to need to see the whole map and the number of bridges there are along with the time it will take to cross them and if we can find a more efficient way to cross them.

[m-b-tea-me]

How do esfps act under stress? What do they do?

Usually they fall into tert-Te behaviors, which include becoming dictators, taking over situations and managing them like an angry boss, criticizing others for being ineffectual, disorganized, lazy, not-factual, or stupid, or feeling an intense need to get a move on things, causing them to leap on anything they feel will reach a goal sooner, often without pausing to consider whether it will profit in the long term.

- ENFP Mod

[m-b-tea-me]

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

[m-b-tea-me]

mbti stereotypes

[m-b-tea-me]

ENTP X INTJ

ENTP: (does anything) INTJ: You fool.

[m-b-tea-me]

If you supercharged the “abilities” of each cognitive function

•

Ni: psychic

Se: Spider-sense-esque awareness

Ne: ultra-speed processing

Si: perfect recall

Te: mind control

Fi: passion, zeal and intensity in everything, imagine a constant adrenaline rush

Ti: basically a lie detector

Fe: every ability of Mantis from GotG

[m-b-tea-me]

Feeler: So what are you feeling

Thinker: Objectively, I think I feel either nostalgia, regret, or general sinus pressure

Feeler:…

Thinker: It’s definitely not guilt; I eliminated that from the possibilities a long time ago.

Feeler: …..

Thinker: though I did bruise my forehead the other day so it could also be that

[m-b-tea-me]

MBTI types and why they’re in hell

INTJ: Deliberately went there to help themselves take over the world without anyone knowing.

INTP: Got sent there for doing unethical experiments in the name of science.

ENTJ: Is Satan.

ENTP: Was initially going to go to heaven but annoyed God by continually talking and debating pointless topics with Him.

INFJ: Came for the artistic inspiration, stayed to watch their enemies suffer.

INFP: Is in love with Satan, although this love is probably unrequited.

ENFJ: Came to attempt to convince Satan to cool down Hell, as it’s contributing global warming.

ENFP: Found heaven dull and limiting to their creativity.

ISTJ: Works diligently for Satan after becoming disillusioned with Heaven.

ISFJ: They were on the path to be in heaven but somehow screwed it up.

ESTJ: Too cold and calculating for heaven, so joined the like-minded people in Hell.

ESFJ: Hell is the new thing, everyone’s going there now!

ISTP: Wants to dethrone Satan and raise an army of demons in order to usurp God and become the supreme deity…but is procrastinating instead.

ISFP: Went out to dinner with Satan, and so was allowed into Hell.

ESTP: Just rode a motorcycle in.

ESFP: Is with ESTP, fucking shit up.

[m-b-tea-me]

[m-b-tea-me]

The Types as Surreal Memes: Analysts

ENTJ:

ENTP:

INTJ:

INTP:

[m-b-tea-me]

Memes and Schemes. That about sums it up, actually.

Tag yourself, I’m Dreams and Memes

[m-b-tea-me]

The shortest Fi vs. Fe description I can make is that Fe is correlated with people skills, but not with person skills.

[m-b-tea-me]

The Types (as viewed from the subjective experience of an individual ENTP):

Everyone has been making posts about their different experiences with the types so I'm gonna make my own because I'm jobless and hate being left out yayyy

ISFJ: So cute. So warm. Truly the nicest people out there. I always spot you guys because I get majorly protective over you for no reason. However, the closer we get the more likely things are to go...well downhill to be honest. We're polar opposites and eventually it starts to show. I'd still die for you guys though.

ISTJ: I.. really cannot relate to you. Like at all. Your epic skills in organization as well as your ability to seamlessly fit into societal norms and expectations honestly freaks me out. I'm sure you're good people but I always think "surely this is fake. Surely there's an alternative and crazy personality hiding underneath this creepy exterior perfection". You can take this as a back-handed compliment I guess. Anyway, y'all weird me out.

ESFJ: Ahh, I always find you guys in my orbit somehow. I attract this type frequently. I keep you guys amused and you're always an excellent soundboard for my wack ideas. ESFJs either really like me or really hate me, there's no in between. It's a fun friendship until the ESFJ realizes that I'm genuinely like this allll the time and that my character is not, in fact, a persona.

ESTJ: I can chill with you guys more easily than with ISTJs. You guys are actually willing to have conversations and frankly? When you guys wanna let loose and have fun? You guys are WILD. We're usually fine with each other when we're at a safe distance.

ISFP: another adorable type. It usually starts off awkward because the ones i met are so shy and quiet and it makes me all the more invested in you. We're extremely different in every way but you guys are so chill and the differences never seem to create any trouble. I love you judgement-free hippies. I want to protect you too.

ISTP: I'm not even sure I know any tbh. From the stereotypes though, you guys sound lit. And by lit I mean i'd literally seek you out to light a joint and chill for a bit.

ESFP: oh boy. I'm always attracted to you guys against my better judgement. I've gotten attached to TWO esfps in my life and I'm not even sure how that happened. We legit have nothing in common but I always get so soft on this type. You're so confident and full of life and it excites me. Things just always seem to be temporary with you and our differences catch up to us eventually. Best flings. Also voted: Most Likely To Break My Heart.

ESTPs: Fam. We're the same, but different, but still same. You guys are the cooler, more level-headed version of me. Don't think for a second though that I'll take your arrogant bullshit. I live for the snide back and forth with you. I think we make an excellent Power Duo.

INFP: babies. I know you guys aren't ACTUALLY the way the stereotypes make you out to be but you really are super cute. I really like talking to you. Surprisingly detached exterior. Kinda awkward at times. Gets attached to people super easily. The INFPs I know I would've never guessed to be INFPs. Also, plot twist, they're not manic pixie dream girls/boys. They have their shit together, but only on the surface.

INFJ: I just want to find my INFJ soulmate and live happily ever after. One of the few types who truly takes my bullshit and still cares about me in spite of it. Great conversationalists. Excellent social chameleons. Super intelligent and perceptive. It's pretty clear I like you guys a lot, heh. Also, the psychiatrist stereotype is true. Please stop trying to expose my weak side, it stresses me out.

ENFP: either extremely stereotypical or shockingly different from what you expect. You march to the beat of your own drum. Softies but you're still much tougher than people think you are. Like INFPs, some have a detached exterior. Can be shockingly pragmatic and efficient when they put their Te to use. We get along so well with occasional Ti vs Fi clashes. Both ENFPs and ESFPs are really not as emotional as they're made out to be.

ENFJ: some of the friendliest people out there. Always looking to make friends. Seeks a lot of validation and base their confidence on how people view them. I think you're lovely and I like you guys, I just wish you cared less about what people think.

INTP: the quieter, less obnoxious, possibly smarter version of ENTPs. I love you guys so much. We get each other and conversation is always excellent.

INTJ: god I love to piss you off. I know one INTJ and we had such a rocky start. I really couldn't stand her and we always took jabs at each other whenever an opportunity was presented. We became friends when we realized our similarities but the jabs stayed. I don't feel the need to be nice to you and I love our debates. My INTJ definitely thinks I'm an idiot at times, and I think she's a know-it-all. We love each other though and we'll die before admitting it. It's a very funny dynamic.

ENTP: you're me. I am you. We are one. I don't care what anyone says, i think we're great fun and we're fucking hilarious. Stay awesome, my dudes.

ENTJ: heh, I love pissing you off too. But really, we have great conversations. Also, I'm super impressed by your dedication to your work as well as your creative approach. Very admirable people. Too stubborn and fixated at times.

This is all SUBJECTIVE so please don't come at me with pitchforks if you don't agree.

Actually, you should. It'll make me feel like a cool evil and selfish queen whose people finally decided they've had enough and it's time to revolt.

Wow, that was oddly specific.