lynnafred

[lynnafred]

can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014

[lynnafred]

You’ve heard of hopeless romantic? I’m a hopeless platonic

[lynnafred]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[lynnafred]

[lynnafred]

Update from the WGA on negotiations

[lynnafred]

chris fleming is funny because he looks like someone forced a jc penney mannequin to watch sex and the city 57 times in a row and left it on the front doorstep of a gay bar, but you listen to him talk and recount his experiences and he sounds like arthur dent discovering that he's bi at 31, like i could hit chris fleming with a sledgehammer and he'd get up and be like "well what the fuck is this, a home depot?"

[lynnafred]

“Why do you look so tired” well you see that’s the chronic fatigue

[lynnafred]

you know that comic with the birds? “Do you think we’re best friends in other universes too”? I think about that but with all the different Holmes & Watsons

[lynnafred]

You can do everything right and still become disabled. Disability isn't a character flaw or a personal failure which can get blamed on the people who aquire one. It can happen to literally all of us at any time. There's no fairness involved

[lynnafred]

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

[lynnafred]

*turns a perfect 180 degrees so that my cutting board-flat ass is facing you* *i walk away with feminine swagger but masculine contempt*

[lynnafred]

The original illusionists

[lynnafred]

yeah im “transitioning” *dissolves into tiny pieces as i click to the next slide*

[lynnafred]

Behind the scenes of Godzilla (1998)

[lynnafred]

[lynnafred]

[lynnafred]

why is “report hate speech” not one of the default options with “report spam” instead of “report sexually explicit material”. i’m not a cop so i don’t care if people post hole & pole but i would love if i didn’t have to explain every time why it’s bad when there are nazis