lussevarelser

[lussevarelser]

lgbt dividers

lesbian

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original baker 8-stripe

please rb if saving!

more here

heart dividers here ♡

[lussevarelser]

To systems that don’t switch/only have one or a few fronters, here’s your reminder you are amazing! There is no right or wrong way to be plural, your experience is unique and valid! Don’t let anyone get you don’t for experiencing it differently than others. 🍵🍂

[lussevarelser]

Cis folks, if u ever wanna try out or go by gender neutral pronouns i wanna tell you: GO FOR IT

Not only can you use he/they or she/they, if you wanna exclusively go by they/them cuz you think its cool, trendy and quirky go ahead. Not in a "all cis people should question their gender bcs cis is not the default" way, but in a "pronouns don't equal gender identity and they/them pronouns are not exclusive to nonbinary folks" way

Or maybe you wanna go by neos? You can litterally make a brand new set of neopronouns out of your favorite words in the english language, or use some common ones like ze/hir or fae/faer

Or combine your traditional and neopronouns, or even hoard pronouns!

You as a cis person using gender neutral pronouns helps normalize them :)

[lussevarelser]

i made this a long time ago and for some reason never posted it

immersive daydreaming VS. maladaptive daydreaming

edit: added image description courtesy of @arolovecoric​ (tysm!!)

ID: a Venn diagram of Immersive Daydreaming and Maladaptive Daydreaming.

Immersive Daydreaming:

healthy coping mechanism

is able to control time spent daydreaming, and when they daydream (can stop whenever they choose to)

daydreaming does not interfere with personal, social, academic, or occupational success

prefers or prioritizes real life over daydreaming

daydreaming has an overall positive impact on daify life and mental health

Overlap:

often daydreams when bored or distressed

intense sense of visual and/or auditory absorption and immersion while daydreaming

intricate daydream world(s)

strong attachment to daydream characters or “paras”

daydreams often affected by real world events

daydreaming accompanied by repetitive movement (pacing, rocking, tapping, etc.)

daydreaming triggered or enhanced by music

daydreaming accompanied by vocal noises and/or facial expressions

daydreamer often finds comfort in their daydreams

often daydreams about an idealized self/life

Maladaptive Daydreaming:

unhealthy coping mechanism

daydreaming becomes an addiction

trouble controlling time spent daydreaming, and when they daydream

distressed when unable to daydream, or when daydreaming is interrupted

daydreaming interferes with personal, social, academic, and/or occupational success

trouble focusing on completing daily tasks and chores

becomes neglectful of own basic needs (eating, hygiene, sleep, etc.) due to daydreaming

numerous failed attempts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming

emotions and mood heavily affected by daydreams

deep dissatisfaction with real life due to its inability to live up to daydreams

feels shame/embarrassment about their daydreaming

may experience intrusive daydreams (violent, sexual, or otherwise disturbing daydreams)

mental health negatively affected by daydreaming

End ID

[lussevarelser]

Okay but how fucked is the concept of an “autistic savant”? Like are neurotypicals so blown away by the thought that autistic people (especially so-called “low-functioning” individuals) can be good at shit they had to come up with a specific label for it? Fuck that noise. There is nothing remarkable about an autistic person being good at something. We are individuals with individual interests and talents. Is this not the same bullshit as high and low functioning labels or “Asperger’s”? Smells like shit.

[lussevarelser]

40 question plural/system ask game! Any systems are welcome to reblog! :)

What do you guys usually fight about, if anything?

2. What are everyone's fashion tastes?

3. Who's the best at dealing with stress?

4. Who has the weirdest music taste?

5. Do you see your system members as individual people, parts of a whole, or something else? Do other members see things differently?

6. Is there anything everyone can agree on or have in common? 

7. How long have you known you're part of a system? Has it taken other members a longer or shorter time to come around?

8. What was the discovery process like for you?

9. What do you feel your origins are, if you feel comfortable sharing? 

10. If you could wake up tomorrow and have everyone be in separate bodies, would you?

11. Do you have a favorite plural character or headcanon? 

12. Does anyone like any video games? What about books or TV shows? 

13. Who's the most outdoorsy, if anyone? Who likes to stay inside the most, if anyone? 

14. What is religion and spirituality like for your system, if applicable?

15. Who, if anyone, are you out to? Are they supportive?

16. Do you see multiplicity as more of a spectrum that everyone's on, or something that only effects some people? 

17. Any nonhuman members?

18. Do you have introjects? If so, where do they come from?

19. Do you consider yourself disordered? Do other members feel any differently about this? 

20. What are everyone's favorite hobbies?

21. How do you resolve in-system conflicts? 

22. Do you dissociate often? What is dissociation like for you, if applicable?

23. Do you wish you had more or less members, or are you happy with what you've got now?

24. How active are your other members? Who's around in headspace the most? Who fronts the most? Who's dormant, if anyone?

25. Do different members have different art or handwriting styles? Feel free to show examples! 

26. Do you ever feel NOT multiple? Like a singlet, or somewhere in the middle of the spectrum? Do you ever forget you're part of a system?

27. Do you guys have different tastes in food? What are everyone's favorite foods?

28. Have you ever struggled with denial?

29. Does your typing style differ depending on who's fronting? 

30. Do you have any amnesia? What's it like for you?

31. Do any system members have a different gender or sexuality? How do you guys handle this?

32. How has your system changed over time? 

33. Who's the oldest member? Who's the youngest?

34. Do you see your system more as family, more as friends, more as roommates, or anything else?

35. What would your perfect life or dream job look like? How does this differ between members? 

36. Name your favorite quality of all the members you can think of! Including yourself! ;)

37. What's the most awkward experience you can have that you attribute to plurality?

38. Is it easy for you guys to be co-conscious?

39. Are you blurry often? How do you deal with blurriness?

40. Do you know a lot of details about your system members, or is it more hard for you to parse out?

[lussevarelser]

Saw someone use this term and hadn't heard it before and google isn't being helpful, so: What's "neuronarrating"?

I know what this term means but my brains having a hard time put words together for it, so I’ll do my best, but if anyone has a better explanation, please add on!

Neuronarrating is creating stories or worlds in your head. It is similar to daydreaming, but more intense. Often there are things that are consistent between neuronarrations. For instance, there might be reoccurring characters or an expansive fantasy world in which all narrations take place.

-Sabrina

[lussevarelser]

We also talked about maladaptive daydreaming. She helped me reframe. "I daydream in a maladaptive way, that isolates me and keeps me from real life" to "I daydream to survive. It helps me cope" (more us cause we're a system)

[lussevarelser]

Actually working on art and characters ❎

Spending hours heavily daydreaming about them ✅

[lussevarelser]

maladaptive daydreaming & control

there seems to be some misunderstandings about control when it comes to madd. i see a lot of people vaguely say “you can’t control it” when talking about madd, and that can mean soooo many things.

the main and most common thing that maladaptive daydreamers have trouble controlling is the urge to daydream.

but a lack of control can also mean:

being unable to control when you fall into a daydream

having difficulty pulling yourself out of a daydream

not having control over the content of one’s daydreams (often times in the form of intrusive daydreams)

being unable to control your physical actions when daydreaming

these are all possible symptoms of madd, but they are not required.

something that i have seen said a lot though, is that madders “can’t stop whenever they want to” and this bugs me cause this seems to imply that no madders have the ability to stop daydreaming whenever they want. and well frankly that just isn’t true.

some madders can pull themselves out of daydreams when they need to, or can stop themselves form falling into daydreams. BUT it is typically difficult and uncomfortable for them to do so. 

i’ve also heard people say though, that by “can’t stop whenever they want to” they actually just mean that maladaptive daydreamers just don’t have control over how daydreaming negatively impacts their life, or they just don’t have control over having madd. if that is the case though, “can’t stop whenever they want to” is a really weird way to say that, and it’s very confusing and also misleading. 

also, the only mention of control in the proposed diagnostic criteria is where it says “Has made repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming” and this is still not a required symptom, it’s just a possible one. there are a lot of people who this symptom won’t apply to, mainly because a lot of us have yet to even try and make an attempt to control it, cut back, or stop (but we probably know that if we did, it wouldn’t go too well).

one of the reasons why i really want to emphasize this, is because for some of us, myself included, daydreaming is actually a way for us to cope with our control issues. we use it to feel in control of something when we otherwise feel like we have no control over our real lives. 

there is so much chaos and uncertainty in real life that causes me so much stress and anxiety, and so i created a world in my head where i can control everything and everyone to cope with that.

my main point here is that we should just be more clear and concise about what we mean when talking about maladaptive daydreaming and control. and maybe this will also help clarify some things for any questioning madders out there. it’s really important to not underexaggerate the seriousness of madd, but it’s also important to not overexaggerate how certain symptoms are supposed to present themselves for a person’s daydreaming to be considered maladaptive.

[lussevarelser]

Endogenic systems are not "playing pretend." They just exist. You do not have to have originated from trauma to be a real system.

[lussevarelser]

i made flags for paras! in order: para, primpara and fictpara!

(for use only by madalaptive or immersive daydreamers and neuronarrators, please and thank you)

[[DNI ID: dni: racists, sexists, lgbtphobes, terfs, swerfs, truscum/transmed, anti-mogai, anti-endo, anti-mspect, ableist, flop account, kink/nsfw account, map/map supporter, proship/anti-anti]]

[lussevarelser]

[lussevarelser]

so because i still regularly get these kind of questions, i wanted to make a post about it;

how you daydream and what you daydream about has absolutely no bearing over whether or not your daydreaming could be considered maladaptive.

some examples of what i mean:

some madders have parames and/or paraselves. others don’t include themselves in their own daydreams in any capacity.

some madders daydream about an “idealized life” or “wish fulfillment”, others do not.

some madders paracosms are based of of real life. others have paracosms that are based off of already existing fiction. some have paracosms that are a combination of real life and fandom.

some madders daydream about OCs. some daydream about characters from existing media. some daydream about celebrities. some daydream bout people they know personally.

some madders have daydreams that are always happy and light-hearted. some have daydreams that focus around trauma and other dark topics. some have a mix of both.

some madders cannot control what happens in their daydreams. their paras may have some level of autonomy, or they may struggle with intrusive daydreams. some madders can and do control every single thing that happens in their daydreams (this doesn’t mean their daydreams are always pleasant).

some madders have one main paracosm. some madders have hundreds of paracosms. 

some madders have detailed, planned story lines for their daydreams. some have random “one shot” daydreams that don’t connect to each other in any way.

some madders pace, jump, spin, rock, etc. while daydreaming. some stay completely still.

some madders are triggered by music. some aren’t.

some madders daydream as if their paras are there next to them in real life. for some the daydreams “stay completely inside their head”.

some madders can only daydream when they are alone, pacing, and have music playing with headphones. others can daydream anywhere, around anyone, and regardless of what they’re doing.

this is not an extensive list.

when it comes to madd, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to daydream. 

it doesn’t matter how or what you daydream about, the only thing that matters is how those daydreams impact you.

[lussevarelser]

ALL KINS ARE VALID!

Reblog if you agree

[lussevarelser]

Socializing is not happy for everyone. Introversion and creativity are not diseases. I oppose treatments that encourage lone wolfs to socialize. They're not treatments, they're coercions of popular values. They don't respect the individuality. Treatment is for people suffering from illness. No one is allowed to tell people who “enjoy” being in their heads to “treat” it. No one cannot be turned enjoyableness into illness. I have a fantasy prone personality and it's so heavy, but I dislike to be called “maladaptive”. It sounds like an insult to my mental support. It's a little painful to have a daydream that interferes with daily life, socializing instead of a daydream is incomparably painful.

DON'T TAKE MY COMFORT AWAY.

I really dislike socializing, it suffers me, and no one can help with my communication skills because they're too deplorable *cry* I love daydreaming and being in my head, and I love myself as I am. Did I say something similar before? Don't worry so much. This feeling hasn't subsided since I learned about MADD.

[lussevarelser]

sx-9

(Thank you for your message. I appreciated reading it, and wanted to quote you while concealing your identity for privacy. Hope you don’t mind.)

I’m the person who’s very passionate and intense in all of her relationships. Even back in primary school, I didn’t like it when my classmates sat in a huge circle at recess and ate and joked around. Not because it wasn’t fun .. it was. But what I truly wanted, even at that very young age, was to have a one on one ‘deep’ conversation with one classmate and get to know her and become her closest friend and have her be mine. A ‘us against the world’ kind of friendship. And when I say 'know her’, I mean literally everything about her.

Most girls saw me as weird and intimidating because of it. “why cant she just play hide and seek with us?”, “yesterday she asked me all these personal questions it was so odd!” .. lol. I didn’t understand them. why would they waste time with shallow interactions when they could build these strong, intimate, one of a kind friendships that last a lifetime? why aren’t they looking for their soulmates and as they describe it in Grey’s anatomy “their person”. It would take time, effort and vulnerability but it would be so worth it!

I thought I’d grow out of it when I grow up but damn I haven’t changed at all. I still treat all my friendships like they’re a passionate marriage, it’s so emotional and needy and messy and filled with jealousy and possessiveness.

I don’t love people, I fall in love with them.

I come off too strong to those who aren’t like me (most of the population, it seems). But when it’s someone similar, it’s so beautiful and special and I feel like I’m this endless energy of love and creativity and happiness.

I remember you making a post about your instinctual variant. You talked about friendship too and how you viewed it. I recall wishing I was the same because it was the complete opposite to me. I thought you were chill and cool :>

This is… very sx9. And I will clue you in in something.

I would LOVE to have the kind of deep, intense, raw emotional relationship you are talking about, but I don’t know how to make it happen. Being sx-blind, I try too hard to maintain friendships that are… just not working. That do not have a spark. I try and force intimacy by being more honest with them, in a desire to connect to someone and have them meet me in that place. But it feels like most people do not want an intimate friendship. They want superficial interactions. That is not and never will be enough for me, but it feels like I have no choice. I have a protective wall up that I want to let down, but I can’t unless I feel safe.

One time, my father told me, “What you are seeking is way beyond the depth of a platonic friendship. For some reason, you are treating every friendship like a romance, and they shouldn’t be a romance. Romance is about intense feelings and the sharing of your souls. If a romance is what you want, go out and get one! Stop trying to find it in platonic relationships!”

You, as an sx-dom, cannot help this. It’s your primary drive, to find someone who ignites you and creates a deep resonance in your soul. But… I can tell you that for sx-blinds… it does come across as quite strong. It can feel invasive and rather intimidating to have someone want you like that. I have had two different sx-doms (three, if you count one I went on a single date with) pursue me in my life and… it can be disconcerting to feel like they want you to rip open your deepest wounds and ooze them onto the table when you have only just met. As a 6w5, I want to open up to you but I need to trust you first. I need to know you are not going to betray me or expose my secrets. And I watch you, to see what kind of a person you are. If you push me, bully me, make me uncomfortable, I am never going to open up and be raw with you. Because I can’t trust you not to hurt me with that information. This is the frustration of an sx/so 9w8 in my life. She wants to crawl inside my skin and that’s the last place I want her to be, because her controlling wing 8 tactics make me uncomfortable. If I felt safe with her, I would easily open up to her. But I don’t. So I can’t. I won’t.

I had a close sx-friendship once in my life. We truly were kindred spirits. We could discuss anything. I was more open, honest and ‘raw’ with her than anyone before or since, but it has not happened a second time.

Maybe reserve the deep sx connections for your love partners and have lower expectations for your friends? And… hold back a little. Save some of the way more personal, probing questions for when you know each other better. Some of the sx-blinds out there are willing to open up to you in the way that you want, but they need time to get past their privacy (sp-first) or conventions (soc-first).

- ENFP Mod