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I like when fairies get a bit more bug with it. Sneak a little extra chitin on her. It won't hurt.

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why birthdays are tough (CW childhood trauma vague discussion)

so the way we got through our trauma eventually was to believe that on some level, we didn't exist. that there was nothing to us. it was more comfortable that way. we detached ourselves from having any kind of emotional stake in what happened to us. it kept us from facing the reality of what happened and how much it hurt. we learned how to feel that way super early, so deep deep down that belief stays with us. it keeps us safe from our memories and from the pain we couldn't face back then. and believe me, i have nothing but love and sympathy for us. it was too much to face back then. we needed some kind of workaround and i bless us for finding a way to get through.

but that means when we get to a day where we're supposed to celebrate being alive, there's so many emotions that come up. it throws a wrench in how we were supposed to get through things. deep down, we weren't supposed to believe we were alive, at least in the same way as everyone else. having a day just about us and how we're special made all that really hard, and we're still healing, so it still does. i can feel our instincts pushing back against it even today. we feel so disconnected from the world on our bday.

it's coming up in a couple of days. i'm sad for us having this kind of experience with a day that should be happy, but i also want to meet us where we're at. it is hard. i haven't found what exactly we want for ourselves on that day. it's a balance. i want to keep piling on the love, little by little push back against those false truths we had to teach ourselves to survive. but i want to sit with us too, hold our hand, say it's okay for it to be hard, say it's okay to cry.

i guess some mixture of the two. it's hard, none of this is supposed to happen so there's not a lot of right answers out there. just like any parent or friend or love, i guess you gotta make something out of what you have and keep tryin.

maybe a piece of cake to celebrate & a candle to hold vigil. that might be it. god life moves so fast but we'll keep thinking on it.

cause we arent gonna give up. too much love <3 bless the babies

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Does anybody here like pretty, customized old-school game consoles??

I did this last year & I'm still kinda proud of it.

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if ur posting "trans people you have to survive" go do something about it? how many homeless trans people have u materially helped today? nothing changed right now. we been suffering already. where the fuck have u been every day that's not election day

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I Won't Hurt You

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if ILTV was a N64 game 💗

Part 6 (Epilogue): After Hours

Rae Taylor & Claire François the dears from I'm in Love with the Villainess

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mental health rant stuff

ptsd is like 70% of my life lately. it's so easy to slip into the worst of our fear, to lose parts of our awareness & dissociate. it's like your fear got trained to escalate to life & death mode, so anything that scares you brings you all the way up to that place. we are always so exhausted and self care tasks are just miles away. it's hard to face them cause that comes with so many feelings and they all start to turn fever pitch. I'm just like picturing a light that means hope to me and keeping it in my minds eye. my babe was out crying just saying I'm so tired, I'm so tired. it's so hard to sleep cause we get bad nightmares & lying down feels unsafe. we've been in so deep for so long. I just. we are holding this ship together. and it makes us loners a bit. it's hard to bring this stuff out in a way that lets you be with people on it. we are so in over our heads. I'm so ready for some kind of change. whatever it is. this path is just gonna wear us all the way out.

keeping our eye out for all the love we can find in life because deep down, more than anything else, i know that's the key. I'm staying here <3

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if ILTV was a N64 game 💗

Part 6 (Epilogue): After Hours

Rae Taylor & Claire François the dears from I'm in Love with the Villainess

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a mimi & evan & Jelly recipe!

its a thick saucy stew with ground pork & basil & a bunch of veggies & some pleasant balanced spices, warms your heart right up, put it on rice and you're never comin back! jkjkjk

what's in it: ⦁ ground pork ⦁ an eggplant, diced ⦁ 2 roma (small-ish) tomatoes chunked up ⦁ 2 bell peps, sliced ⦁ carrot ⦁ big ol sweet onion, sliced ⦁ 4-5 garlic cloves ⦁ close to a thumb of ginger (we're not super ginger fans but it does add a nice thing and you can bump it up if you want) ⦁ teaspoon+1/2 thyme ⦁ chicken stock cube (optional) ⦁ 5-7 basil leaves ⦁ paprika, cumin, allspice, cinnamon ⦁ lemon rind (probably like half a lemon, not a full one) ⦁ soy sauce ⦁ some kind of sweet vinegar (black is great, cane is great, the house we're at has plum which rocked, apple or rice are probably good but maybe use a lil less or add sugar, wine vinegar's probably a little too bitter) ⦁ canned tomato sauce ⦁ canned chipotles in adobo sauce ⦁ a lil cooking wine if you have it but it's not super necessary

preptime. grate up a small/medium carrot, chop up an eggplant & salt, cut onion & bell peps into strips

use a big ol pot for this. you can double up some veggies if you want it to last longer but this is a big ol stew so give it some room

put a few slices of ginger, a couple cloves of garlic, 3-4 basil leaves, and a few generous slices of lemon rind into the oil on medium low heat to bloom em. pull em out before they start to brown (you'll kind of have to keep watch and pull individual pieces out as soon as they just start to brown). makes the oil yummy.

add the ground pork. salt & pepper it. break it up & brown it till it starts to crisp up just a lil on one side (don't flip it around too much, just break it down). heat's up to medium for most of the rest of this.

add in a sweet vinegar between 1/8 & 1/4 a cup, enough to kind of coat the pan with a shallow puddle but not enough to submerge anything. you want to cook it off for a minute or two till the stingy smell goes down

then in go the veggies (eggplant, bell peps, onion) & our dried herbs i'd recommend all at the same time no reason not to (except grated carrots & tomatoes they're gonna lose water to quickly). that's 4-6 big ol basil leaves, a ton of black pepper, salt to sweat out the veggies, and a generous amount of thyme. cook till they start to soften, i dunno maybe 10-12 minutes

cut up the tomatoes (2) into 6ths or 8ths, not tiny tiny but chunks & add em in with the grated carrot (1 small-to-medium carrot, we left some out)

grate up a generous pinch of ginger (you can maybe use a half to full teaspoon of dried ginger if you have that), mince a few garlic cloves (or like a tablespoon of garlic powder), a couple teaspoons each of cumin & paprika, a lil cinammon (between 1/8 -1/4 teaspoon, that stuff's strong) + a lil allspice, between 1/8-1/4 teaspoon. we also grated another generous pinch of lemon rind. that all goes in & mixes into it

wilt out the tomatoes a lil (make sure to salt them a lil) till they're just starting to get mushy, 5-7 more minutes. all the powder spices are gonna wake up too it'll smell nice. at this point add up to 1/4 cup of soy sauce. we put in some white cooking wine but not a whole lot. red wine would kick. thats definitely optional but we had some. adding the liquid slows down the cookin & now we're in simmer mode. especially if you add wine let that cook down for a few minutes.

then add close to a half a can of tomato sauce (maybe a lil less than that, enough to get all the veggies coated but not swiming in it) + 3 - 4 tablespoons of canned chipotle adobo sauce & one of the chipotle peppers if you want it spicy.

add a chicken stock cube & enough water that it's a little too loose but not soup.

raise the heat till it starts to bubble then lower to low/med-low & simmer for like half an hour checking on it. you can add salt & even sugar if you think it needs it.

somewhere in there we tasted & added extra soy & just a bit of ground oregano

it was delicious. have it with rice!!

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that's us except oftentimes we dont really follow the conversation either <3

Can we normalize this?

Like please please please??

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Switchy: server-side pluralkit for minecraft

Switchy lets players swap between presets of player data and customizations by utilizing the existing features of other well-established mods in the ecosystem - nicknames, skins, origins, and so on - plus vanilla data like inventory, position, and spawn point.

It's for systems, RP servers, account sharing, genderfluidity, furries, even mapmaking - everything is toggleable on a per-player level and built to be extended with mod compatibility addons.

It works with vanilla clients, but adds the GUI above when modded.

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the hollow

we are so familiar with it ourselves. and we see so many others share about it in some way or another. the hollow: the feeling that there is nothing here to love.

oftentimes it seems impossible to overcome in the moment. it feels insatiable, even when filled with affection or affirmation. the hollow still remains.

the hollow isn't empty. there is something there. just hidden. hidden to be kept safe. and we miss it. we know it is gone and we long for it.

the hollow isn't you. it's pain. pain keeping us apart from our love. in times of danger, love isn't safe. the hollow holds inside, to keep love from harm.

the hollow is a place. we go to sit together in it, in spite of everything. to stay in the hollow, in that feeling of empty nothingness, is to bring love to a place where love is kept hidden. a candle that says "you can come out. i'm here, so i know you can be too."

when you can, sleepover inside. i'm sure they'd love that. they're usually very sweet.

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gently catching ourselves from floating away

we tell ourselves it is okay to stay

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feeling alive is a little intense

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