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I lose myself a little bit in every summer

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Every day I try to be my best self, but all I can do is hate myself. I know the reason is that it is easier, and I am a coward

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The shining sun is so intense that it feels like the summer days will never end. I wipe my runny nose with my floral-patterned napkin. I tell myself summer will come and the heaviness will end, but then I remember last summer, how I wished for colder days. A year is a cycle that makes us yearn for another season.

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God damned me when he created me as a girl

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Peeling fruit for myself feels very intimate. Suddenly I'm 13, I'm reading a silly book on a Sunday afternoon, and my mom brings me a plate full of fresh fruit

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i should stop thinking but suffering feels so good

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I stopped guessing what people think about me. I am free and whole.

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I'm still trying to convince myself that life didn't end when I turned 18

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I want to show the rest of the world how ragefull O am. I want be cruel. I want to do what the world did to me But then my heart aches again and the idea of someone feeling the way I feel breaks me completely.

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I've been feeling so much unmatched rage lately for like literally no reason. Like literally someone will say "Hey, how are you doing?" And my first instinct is to reply something like "I'M FUNCTIONING, SUSAN!!!" but that not socially acceptable

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I am in my childhood bedroom. And for a brief moment, all the self-doubts I felt came back. Little me sits at my old table, on my bed and even on the floor, thinking: Will I succeed one day? And here I am, looking at her, having gotten everything she wanted. Maybe life is about being a little more confident, having a little more faith in our future selves.

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I have so much rage in me. It burns. I burns in my chest and i can feel it. It is weird that i can feel it. What am i going to do with that rage? As i lear more about the world, it grows. It grows bigger and i am afraid i wont be able to handle it. God help me find a solution before it burns me.

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i'm so tired of trying to please the world

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that's it, that's the start