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Here have a prompt:

It’s late, and everyone is exhausted after a long day. You’re wrapping up a meeting, discussing your next steps, when the faintest sound makes you pause.

Before anyone can react, Venatori are upon you. They’ve slipped through the Eluvian, striking silently and without warning. You scramble to your feet, unarmed and unprepared. Somehow, against all odds, you manage to escape to the Crossroads.

The group is forced to split up. You and your LI sprint toward the nearest Eluvian, grabbing whatever makeshift weapons you can while you run. Just as you reach it, the Venatori catch up. Your LI shoves you through, and you land hard on the other side. When you turn back, all that greets you is your own reflection.

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It’s no secret I’ve been critical of Veilguard. But I’ll admit, my gremlin brain went YES on a few occasions.

Sometimes because I found something genuinely good, and other times because of… questionable tastes. The example below is probably bad taste? Maybe? I’m not sure. My brain just went “it good” and refused to let me analyze it further.

Lucanis momentarily losing control to Spite and almost stabbing Illario? Perfection. The desperation in his voice when he begs Rook to help him (between 0:47 and 1:04) makes my brain turn to mush.

I'm talking about these lines if you don't want to watch the video:

Lucanis: (groans) Get Illario… out. (Spite, meanwhile, is still very stab-happy.)

Lucanis: Rook, I can’t- (yells in pain) Illario: That’s enough. (Illario stops what's going on) (Spite: WTF?)

For one glorious moment, I thought, “Yes! We’re finally getting something tasty—maybe moral ambiguity, angst, maybe some interesting discussions about sharing a body with a demon.” But no, the game completely deflates the tension afterward. I even brought Lucanis to Treviso right after, despite Illario specifically telling me not to, and… nothing. (insert dramatic whimpering noise)

But this one scene? The voice acting, the animation, the edge-of-your-seat drama? Brainrot central. It's the kind of scene that feels like it was made for angst junkies.

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Just you wait Fundin. He's not as exciting as he sounds.

Also: Not only is he dull, honey, he’ll also break your heart. Then again… you did break his city first. Fair trade? Maybe—once you’ve finished destroying everything else he cares about. #making up my own twisted headcanon to overcompensate for Bioware safe writing

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Davrin’s Scene with Eldrin 

This was supposed to be a post about the positive aspects of Veilguard, but somehow it spiraled into how I’d rewrite the scene between Davrin and Eldrin. Happy reading, I guess? Let’s start with the original dialogue snippet as it plays out. You meet an elf named Eldrin who clearly knows Davrin. Eventually, you ask him to tell you something about Davrin:

Eldrin: “He sang a lot.”

Rook: “This guy?”

Eldrin: “He’d sing to the halla.”

Rook: “You mean the Grey Warden standing next to me?”

Davrin: “Now hold on—I’d get tired herding them, so I’d hum to keep myself awake, and they slowed down to listen!”

Rook: “So naturally you broke into song.”

Davrin: “Only when humming didn’t work. Just getting the job done.”

Eldrin: “And now the job is caretaker to a griffon.”

Rook (Choice): Diplomatic/Amused/Stern

Eldrin: “Seems my old lessons sunk in. Not every creature in the forest is quarry.”

Davrin: “I didn’t ignore everything you said.

I like this scene. It’s fun, cute and wholesome. That said, it’s not perfect. The dialogue is clunky for one. So let's tackle it!

New Scene Setup: In a quiet clearing of the Arlathan Forest, an older Dalish elf stands beside a lone halla, stroking it gently. Around him, the faint hum of activity carries from other elves tending to their duties, though they keep to themselves. As you approach, the elf looks up, his posture stiffening. His expression is wary, but when his gaze lands on Davrin, his shoulders ease, and a faint smile forms on his lips.

You exchange pleasantries, and then ask him to share something about Davrin. He chuckles softly before speaking:

Eldrin: (Pauses thoughtfully, then grins) “He used to sing to the halla.” Rook: (Amused, raises an eyebrow) “Is that so?” Davrin: (Slightly defensive) “Now hold on—" Eldrin: (With a knowing smile) That’s right. As I recall, you had a thing for 'The White Stag’s Lament'. Always humming about Ghilan’nain and her journey home. Even the halla seemed to know it by heart after a while. Davrin: (There is a shift in his expression when Ghilan’nain is mentioned) "I wasn't doing it for fun. Herding halla’s exhausting, so I hummed to stay awake. That they slowed down was just a bonus." Eldrin: (Teasing) “Funny, I seem to remember a lot more singing than humming.” Davrin: (half-joking, half-defensive) "I only sang when humming didn’t work!"

(At this point, Assan interrupts, trotting up to Davrin and nudges him for attention. Davrin hands him a snack and pats him on the head.)

Eldrin: (smiling) “I see some of my old lessons finally stuck."

(Davrin shrugs, but there’s no hiding the softness in his expression as Assan nudges him for another pat.)

Davrin: (glances at Eldrin, voice is softer) “I didn’t ignore everything you said... some of it stuck, whether I wanted it to or not.”

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert, I’m just doing this for fun. I'm not taking a jab at the original author of this scene. I have the luxury of shitposting on the internet, which gives me ultimate creative freedom without the constraints of actual game development, take this for what it is.

This is pretty much how I’d go about it if I wrote it. I’d probably change a whole lot more if I went through the entire scene, but I’ll leave it at this unless someone wants me to dive deeper.

Thought process

Context: Eldrin doesn’t know about the whole… elven gods running amok situation, and Davrin chooses not to burden him with it.

Let Eldrin and Davrin have their moment without Rook interrupting every other line.

Add more immersion! Instead of characters standing around, I'd have them interact with their surroundings. Too many scenes in Veilguard feel static, like the world is waiting for you to show up.

Add more information! As it's written, we don’t really learn anything new about Davrin: We already know he has a soft side and tends to be practical. So I added a connection to Ghilan'nain.

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About Varric / Spoilers

I don’t mind Varric’s fate in Veilguard—not on paper, anyway.

What I do mind is how much potential it had to be impactful—and how it completely missed the mark. Varric is a character I’ve known for 2 games, someone I loved in Dragon Age 2, and somehow, they’ve managed to make me not care about his death.

That’s almost impressive.

The problem isn’t that he dies—it’s how it’s handled. The game doesn’t give his death any believable weight. He just hangs around the Lighthouse, doing nothing, and when the reveal comes, it’s not shocking, or emotional—it’s just… there. What I wanted was for it to matter—not just for Rook, but for the characters who actually knew him.

Dorian and the Inquisitor, present in both Inquisition and Veilguard, could’ve had moments to process his death. Imagine both, visibly upset, talking about writing letters to Varric’s friends, mirroring how Varric wrote to Hawke’s loved ones if you left them in the Fade. Those touches make the loss feel personal, and fuels creativity. I’ve seen so much fanart of characters receiving those letters, and they’re some of my favorite pieces!

But in Veilguard? It’s all glanced over. The game doesn’t provide meaningful reactions from the characters who knew Varric, and that absence makes his death feel hollow.

I said I don’t mind his fate, but I also think what they did was uninspired. So, what would’ve been better? Off the top of my head—I’d have preferred if they let his body die but kept his spirit trapped in the Fade. It leaves the door open for Bioware to bring him back someday (if they wished) while giving fans room to spin their own stories and speculate about what Varric might do next.

Leaving it ambiguous gives players room to spin their own stories. That’s the magic of this series: When the developers leave just enough crumbs to spark players’ imaginations.

And Veilguard? Veilguard fails at this in so many ways. It’s such a waste.

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Companions: We have to stop the Elven Gods, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. We have to stop the Elven Gods, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. WE. HAVE. TO. STOP. THE. ELVEN. GODS. ELGAR'NAN. AND. GHILAN'NAIN.

Bellara: ROOK ARE YOU LISTENING?! WE HAVE TO -

Rook: (tired and done with everyone's shit) "Do we though?"

Neve and Lucanis: (Seriously shocked) “What?”

Rook: "What? I mean yes, of course. We have to stop Elgar'nan and... Ghilgamesh...? Gilga'nain? Gilga... fuck" (Winces, fully aware of the storm they just unleashed.)

Lucanis: (Nearly spits out his coffee but swallows it with a pained expression) “Mierda… it’s Ghilan’nain, Rook. Not Gilga’nain. How do you keep getting it wrong?”

Neve: (Raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.) “Aren’t you an elf? Shouldn’t this be second nature to you?”

Rook: (Clearly offended. ) “I'm from the city, Neve. Well, from a Circle, really— Not that anyone’s bothered to ask. Besides, I’m Andrastian! Why would I know about a dozen Elven Gods that are irrelevant to me?"

Bellara: (Takes a deep breath, preparing to launch into a lecture.) “Actually… there are nine! Let me explain—”

Rook: *Visibly about to lose it*

Emmerich: (Steps in hurriedly, gently steering Rook away.) “All right, darling, let’s walk it off." (As they walk up the stair) "Just think of those lovely fish of yours. Breathe, in and out. That’s it—focus on the fish.”

Sooo... Despite hearing their names on an endless loop, I still thought it was Gilga’nain instead of Ghilan’nain.

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So...

Did anyone else skip companion quests because they were boring as hell—I mean, just to up the stakes for the final battle? Just me?

Man, the drama, DELICIOUS. Best part of the game for me. And I’m being serious here—I finally felt real agency when some companions started dropping off. I had to manufacture it, but hey, I got some in the end. Side note: This is what you get for dumping my ass Lucanis. You break my heart, I break yours. And for the record, I do a better job of being possessed by spite than you ever did. Amateur.

Now that I think about it...

I find the idea of Spite stepping in to help Rook get "revenge" over being dumped way more engaging than anything Spite actually does in the game.

Let’s play around with that idea:

Spite clearly likes Rook. That much is obvious. So why not play that up a bit? Let the player and Lucanis react to it—whether with indifference, discomfort, intrigue… Add in a sense of real danger. Despite conflicting feelings, Lucanis and Rook fall for each other. But then, after certain choices are made, Lucanis dumps Rook. Heartbreak ensues. Then Lucanis has the audacity to fall for Neve and rub it in Rook’s face. (Okay, it wasn’t technically intentional, but the way those scenes triggered for my Rook? Ouch.)

Spite being a petty chaos gremlin, sees Rook’s sadness and channels its inner spite. Cue vendetta against Lucanis and Neve.

Towards the end, Spite ensures Neve doesn’t make it through the final fight OR Spite does something awful towards Lucanis, the Crows or Neve earlier in the story. Something that could cause Lucanis to completely loose himself to possession—unless you intervene. Thus you get a final choice to have either Lucanis or Spite as a companion for the rest of the game. Fun!

Now everyone is sad. No one wins—except maybe Spite. And then, in true Grey Warden fashion, my Rook goes to die in the Deep Roads. The End.

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Words / phrases I started hating playing Veilguard:

- Turlum. That’s turlum for you! Don’t forget Turlum, DaVRIN! TURLUM. - Coffee. (I choose to drink tea out of pure spite—the most renegade move I can pull in this game.) - Solas. It means PRIDE. (Yes. I'M AWARE.) - We have to work together, guys! ❤️ - I’m taking accountability over my actions / I’m willing to make the hard choices. (Sure Rook, if you say so...) - We have to stop the Elven Gods, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. We have to stop the Elven Gods, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. We have to stop the Elven Gods, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. WE. HAVE. TO. STOP. THE. ELVEN. GODS. ELGAR'NAN. AND. GHILAN'NAIN. ROOK ARE YOU LISTENING?! WE HAVE TO -

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It fascinates me how perspectives can be so different. Some people look at Lucanis’ first coffee scene and feel like this, this is THE moment: romance confirmed, target acquired, pants removal mission initiated. But for me? That was the exact moment my interest shriveled up and died. Watching that scene felt like taking physical damage—it hurt. And the flirting? Made me want to crawl under my desk and stay there.

Stop boring me Lucanis! You're a possessed assassin, A MAGE KILLER (and I'm a mage, HELLO?), and this is what you bring to the table? Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee coffee. Please. Fuck off.

Still, it is a cute detail that he remembers your preferred drink, but that cute detail gets overshadowed by the huge neon sign announcing it. Why did they think that was a good idea?

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To the handful of people claiming Harding looks worse in Veilguard than in Inquisition: Are you high? Of all the things wrong with this game, Harding’s new design isn’t one of them. If you'd say she’s about as interesting as wet, old newspaper though, then I’d agree.