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Ran : talk dirty to me

Y/n : the dishes ..

Ran :

Y/n : you still haven't cleaned them .. like I've asked you to several times .

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Twerk with me if you're attracted to Depressed/mysterious/ambiguous/quiet and moody black-haired male anime characters.

Also, if you like that type of male anime character reblog it with his pic and tag fellow simps👁️👁️

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i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased

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this is the next level

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Please reblog, this is so important.

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In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

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My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

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👫

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my Local Neighbourhood Squirrel DEADASS just leapt onto my window pane, maybe a foot from where i am sitting and just fucking stared at me with his hands on the glass he violated my privacy and im calling the cops

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Is It Because I’m A Woman

Chapter four: You look nice

Rated M

Word Count: 1.7k

WARNING!!!! Strong language, some nudity and a gentle caress

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope everyone is surviving getting through quarantine. I know it’s been a HOT minute since I’ve updated. I feel a little lame about taking so long to update, BUT! I am here now. I do have a tag list so if you want to be notified when the next chapter comes out, leave a comment below saying you want to be added. Anyway enjoy!

“So [y/n] how about we take turns on the horse? In return, I’ll sing you a ballad of your exquisite beauty.” Jaskier asked hopefully as he walked between Geralt and mine’s horses. Looking down at him as he gazed up at me with a pleading expression. “I’m not exactly wearing the proper shoe attire you see.” he continues.

“I’ll think about it.” I chuckled softly before reading into the side saddle. I grabbed my water skin taking a sip from it before offering it to Jaskier. “It’s water.”

“Sorry love, if it’s not wine, bread, or women it’s not for me,” Jaskier spoke with an air of confidence as he adjusted his instrument on his back before gasping suddenly. “My greatest apologies to my lady, we boorish men haven’t properly introduced ourselves. My name is Julian Alfred Pankratz, but I go by Jaskier.”

“Or Dandelion.” Geralt spoke before cracking a small smirk. Chuckling I smiled softly. Jaskier turned and glared at Geralt.

“Now what is your name?” Jaskier asked as he ran his fingers through his hair turning back and looking up at me.

“ You already know my name, why do I have to introduce myself?” I said as I looked down at Jaskier before looking back at the road. Looking back down at Jaskier to see him pouting before I sighed deeply. “It’s [y/n]... My name is [y/n]. Happy?” I asked, seeing Jaskier perk up as I gripped the reins tighter. Shifting my eyes up I glance over at Geralt. His face was blank with a stoic expression as he himself seemed lost in thought. Seeing as though Geralt wasn’t going to introduce himself Jaskier spoke up.

“This is Geralt of Rivia, the great Witcher. You’ve probably known the ballads I’ve written about him I’m sure. “Jaskier spoke proudly of the man. Shaking my head at Jaskier I spoke,

“I don’t know your ballads Jaskier. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“You haven’t! Well, let me grace your ears with this one.” Jaskier said enthusiastically. Shifting his lute off his back and into his hands. Quickly he goes to open his mouth to sing before Geralt interrupted.

“Later Jaskier.” Jaskier pouted as he put away his lute. A few silent moments went by before Jaskier spoke once more.

“So would you like to tell us about the large amount of black smoke we saw rising from the shop?”

“You really are a nosey person, aren’t you?” I retorted with a scoff.

“He’s just a bard. Of course, he’s noisy.” Geralt commented. Chuckling I tried to play off my giggle with a cough. We continued to ride a bit more before I broke the silence.

“I didn’t want him using my work for his profit. The horse is my payment for all I’ve done.” I tried to keep my voice steady as I continued. “And if he thinks I’m dead that’s even better for me.” They both looked at each other before looking at me. Wiping away a single tear that has begun to slide down my cheek. “Anyway, I’m only going with you two until I find a place to stay.” I finished before letting the conversation end.

We stopped in at the next town, Jaskier was busy playing his lute entertaining the patrons at the inn, while Geralt and I sat down at a table in a darkened corner. “Two ales for you too.” The barmaid spoke cautiously as she set down the large mugs in front of Geralt and myself before departing. The silence wasn’t completely uncomfortable. He watched me closely as he took a sip from my mug. Pulling back in a disgusted manner I swallowed the vile liquid.

“Who taught you how to smith?” He finally spoke as he turned his head to survey the room. It was my turn to look at him this time.

“You don’t seem like the conversation type Geralt,” I comment.

“Neither do you,” he says before taking another drink from his mug. Silence came between us once again.

“I...I don’t know how to…” I said as I stared out at the crowd. “I never spoke with anyone else besides my father.” I finished as I fiddled with my fingers. At that point, Jaskier came up to us smiling gleefully.

“I think they like me here Geralt!” Jaskier spoke proudly. “Can’t we just stay the night here before moving on?” He pleaded with the witcher. Geralt sighed before nodding his head.

“Fine, you pay the cost for the rooms.” Geralt answered before chugging the rest of his drink. Jaskier whined before following up with,

“I was really hoping to only get a room for you and [y/n]. The brothel here is quite large I’ve heard.”

“What’s a brothel?” I ask before attempting to take another sip of my ale. Both of the men looked at me before sparing each other a glance. “Well out with it.” I was more persistent this time. “Father spent his nights there but I never asked what they are.” I continued by explaining what sparked my question. Jaskier laughed audibly before patting my shoulder.

“We are going to corrupt you our dear sweet [y/n].” Jaskier laughed before sauntering away from the table. Just as he left the innkeeper brought along another round of drinks for Geralt and a bowl of rabbit soup.

“This is for you Miss, from the lad over there.” She turns and points to a young man sitting up at the bar by himself waving over at me before turning back and hands me a small satchel of coins. My eyes widened in surprise at the realization. Rising to my feet I walked over to the man sitting at the counter.

“I’m not sure what you were implying when you gave me this but I’m not interested thank you.” I grabbed his hand placing the bag into his hand before letting go and walking back to the table. Digging into my soup I glance up seeing Geralt staring at me. “You can’t get rid of me just yet Witcher,” I smirk before continuing the consumption of the soup.

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The water sloshed as I moved around in the hot water. Using the rag I Scrubbed my skin raw removing the caked on layers of dirt and dust from travel. My long hair practically glowed in the dim candlelight as it floated on the surface. Without the dirt layer on the surface on my skin, you could finally see the full extent of the bruising. Some splotches were deep purple while some were a sickly yellow from healing. The darkest being the blue almost black welts on my ribcage. Sighing I sank more into the bath letting it rise to my collarbone. I smoothed my hair back allowing my ears in full view. Suddenly the door swung open as Geralt entered. Quickly turning my back to him I used my hair to cover my exposed breasts. “Do you know how to knock Geralt!” I asked as I pressed myself against the tub to conceal the rest of my body.

“You’re just a child, I’m not interested in children.” He said as he began to remove his armor. I rolled my eyes. Shifting to lean to the other side of the tub closer to the fire. I watched the fire dance as it burned brightly. “He really did a number on you.” I flinched as I heard his voice behind me. The scars from the beatings, some of the slash marks from a whip, and of course the grotesque scar from the brand. A shiver ran down my spine despite the warm water. Silence came over us as he sat next to the tub with my back exposed to him.

“Is there a reason you’re still staring?” I ask as I wipe a tear from my eye. I heard him grunt softly as I felt his large hand against the brand.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked softly.

“It does now please get out,” I asked quietly as I moved away from his touch. I heard the faint shuffling before the click on the latch of the door closing.

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I was sitting at the window as I was combing my fingers through my damp hair as I observed the street below. I heard a knock rap on the door. Getting up I opened the door cautiously before seeing Jaskier standing holding a wrapped package in his hands. Stepping aside I let him come in. ‘I know you probably want to get rid of that dreary old dress. So I got you a new one.” he said gleefully as he unwrapped the package pulling out the dress. He held it in front of me as he tried to envision me in it. It was a lovely black and plum-colored dress yet simple. The long skirt fell elegantly, the corset still sat in the wrapping and the top was lined with ruffles. Reaching out I admired the softness of the fabric.

“I don’t know what to say to Jaskier. It’s beautiful, I can’t accept this. It would be a waste on me.” I spoke softly as I continued to admire the dress.

“[y/n] you’re wearing rags. No one would take you for nothing more than a beggar. Just try it on at least. For me?” Jaskier pleaded sporting his signature puppy dog eyes. Sighing I caved with a soft smile on my face. Jaskier handed me the gown before leaving the room. Once I heard the familiar click of the door I began to strip.

I stood in front of the mirror, twisting my hips from side to side hearing the hem of the skirt swish against the wooden floor. Smoothing down the dress I smile. Hearing a knock I continue to stare at the mirror before speaking, “Come in Jaskier!” I heard the door open behind me before closing. I smoothed out the dress one more time before turning on my heels quickly. “What do you think Jas-” I stopped after seeing Geralt staring at me. We stood there in complete silence. Finally, Geralt was the first to break the silence.

“It looks nice on you.”

Tag list: @queenblueoffire @fandomsfanman @geraltsadventures @alwayshave-faith @ya-gurl-stephy @allenizaya @dramatic-badass @nellaphine

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May 2020 Illustrations ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

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me irl