lovingleehaechan

[lovingleehaechan]

I adore you. - Jung Jaehyun (Part III)

genre: fluff, angst(?)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: i honestly don’t remember anymore :(

a/n: i’ve been recently dabbling again with writing so this is just me filling in a few bits, please enjoyy and hold on a little longer! their story is only beginning hehehe 

with all my love, summer x

It’s been a long day for Jaehyun, too long for it to just be called one day. 

His mom was constantly at him during the morning, asking how college had been and what it’s been like living alone without them. The usual stuff mom’s normally ask when they haven’t spoken with their child for too long. Even though all she wanted to do was make sure that he was eating and getting on fine on his own she couldn’t help but be worried. He was her child, her baby after all. 

Jaehyun answered all her questions with patience but the longer it went on, the longer he felt as if he was being dragged over the floor. Don’t get it twisted, he loves his mom so much but some days when he felt more down than usual talking to her seemed more like a chore. He didn’t want to sound ungrateful either, she always made sure he had enough side dishes in his fridge to keep him going for the next two weeks until his next visit home or her next visit to his apartment. Jaehyun wanted the phone call to end quicker than usual but it seemed as if she had so many questions to ask him, as if they haven’t talked in a while. It was unusual to say the least, he always sent her a text in between the days or if he’s reminded of her or their family. 

He asked her if there was anything happening in the family but it seemed as though she dodged the question, almost pretending as if the question was never asked. As soon as his mom did that, he just knew he had to visit the coming weekend. It cannot be delayed if his mom was behaving this way. Something was going on, he was just out of the loop. He finally had enough and ended the phone call informing her that he was visiting this weekend. She was caught off guard but she agreed nonetheless. 

He didn’t know whether or not to be worried about the phone call. It was quite unusual of her to behave in that way. Despite his insides bothering him, he tried his best to distract himself. So that’s where y/n came in. He sends a text your way, “are you busy?” he asked.

“Not really, just mindlessly scrolling through tiktok, nothing new,” you text. “What’s up?” 

“Just not in the mood to be at home, wanna go for a picnic?” he suggested. 

He knew you wouldn’t say no, you couldn’t resist the thought of just being outside with nature. You would probably bring a book and your speakers. Jaehyun would take care of the rest. 

“You got me at ‘not wanting to be at home’, I’ll be ready in two hours? Is that enough time for you?” y/n replied.

“That’s perfect, you don’t need to bring anything okay? I’ll have everything sorted. Text you if I finish earlier than expected.” Jaehyun answered. 

“Okie dokie, I’ll be here.” 

His heart skipped. With those mere words, you’d already made him a fumbling mess. Can you imagine what you would do to him if you were his? 

If only that was the case. 

Jaehyun quickly shook his head, as if he could get rid of his thoughts that quickly. A loud sigh escaped his lips as he got up from his comfortable seat. He should get ready before the sun sets. You both loved to watch it. The sun setting was one of those things that could help you think you can start over again, like if you failed an exam or when small things build up into a big, disgusting pile that you don’t even want to go near at, it helps you gather those thoughts and make you realize that you can do it. Just don’t procrastinate. 

While he created a mental list in his head, he repeated the things he needed on a loop. From the basic things like blankets, to snacks and little post-its and pens- you know, just in case you were inspired to write something. You always had a knack for coming up with things on your spontaneous adventures, even just as simple as a picnic. Jaehyun knew you, but every time he thought he did, you always did something unexpected. As if you suddenly convince yourself “oh, I’ve been wanting to do that, fuck it”. 

Before his head went into a spiral, he physically shook his head and gathered the items in question and packed them in the car. He smiled slightly at the thought of spending this time with you. Who knew he would end up falling for his best friend? 

Apparently, he was the one who was convinced he would never fall in love with you. Well because, you were you and Jaehyun was Jaehyun. 

What a great reason for not to fall in love with someone right? Just because they’re them, you couldn’t or- you wouldn’t. Funny how life comes around in a full circle. 

Jaehyun sent you a message to say that he was on his way before driving towards your apartment. 

You came out of the front door just as soon as he arrived by your complex. He peeked his head slightly, you were wearing those favourite joggers he loved on you. The simple black one with the white strip on the side plastered with the brand name. They hugged your legs so well, he knew you were comfortable in them and it made you that bit extra ‘quirky’. 

Jaehyun unlocked the door, not saying a word. He smiled at you as you sat by the passenger side. You nodded in acknowledgement and smiled in return. 

The silence remained but the atmosphere was comforting. He drove you both to your spot. 

                          ____________________________________

Y/n helped Jaehyun take stuff out from the back. You were surprised how much he prepared in such a short amount of time. It really made you think about things a little. Here was your best friend doing these things a boyfriend normally would. Could your boyfriend do the same thing? The same things as Jaehyun does. Or say the things he knows would comfort your uneasy heart.

With a sigh, you settled yourself on the blanket, placing another around your shoulders. 

“You okay?” he asked.

“Just thinking, you know.” you replied.

“Like what?” curious. 

“Like just how I feel. The things I’m doing, are they the right thing? Could I be doing something else right now that would make me feel like it’s worthwhile?” 

He laughed slightly.

“Same,” he began and paused.

“Is that really all you could tell me, Jung Jaehyun? Same?” you exclaimed. 

This time he heartily laughed at your reaction. 

“Can you chill for a sec,” he giggled, “you didn’t give me enough time to say the rest of it.” 

You made a guilty face and gestured for him to go on. 

“I guess it’s a normal thing to think about when you come to this point though, no? We’re still young, we still have time to make some mistakes. Of course we won’t get everything right but that’s part of life.” 

“I guess so. It’s hard to follow that kind of advice. I tell myself the same thing but no matter how much I try and drill it in my head, it doesn’t stick.” you said.

“It’s as if I just refuse to listen even though I know it’ll ease my worries. Maybe I need someone to calm me down in person too, rather than being said all the time to me- or texted.” 

He nodded, urging you to continue. 

“Things like this, you know? A simple sunset picnic. It doesn’t even have to be this prepared. Some blankets and a pack of crisps and water would do. Just knowing that you’re here with me and going through the motions with me is enough. It helps things make sense again.” 

Jaehyun was speechless. 

So he was doing the right things, why couldn’t you see it? He would never do this for anyone else but you. There are many girls who give him their number, or people telling him that one lady from another course is interested in getting to know him. But no, his eyes were on you and only you. It was one of the few things that made sense in his world. 

“You’re more of an acts of service type of person then. Right?” he questioned, trying to keep the atmosphere a little light.

“Probably- oh and quality time. It makes sense if it was those two.” you attempted to do the math, and after a few seconds, you nodded, answering your own question.

From then, the conversation continued until the sky was pink. From then, you and Jaehyun knew it was time for silence. Time and space to think deeply. 

You quickly settle your head on his lap. He didn’t seem to mind, you thought. 

Your eyes focused on the pastel colours in the sky. You attempted to make shapes of the clouds, then moved on to count how many birds flew by until your eyes became tired. 

Jaehyun saw you close your eyes gently. He sighed again for the nth time that day. 

“How can someone be as beautiful as you and not see it?” he asked, looking at you. 

“How is your mind as complicated as it is when things clearly work out in the end if you just be a little more patient with yourself?” thinking aloud again. 

“How are you not able to see that things like this,” he looked around the vicinity and then you, “are for you. I do them for you because-” he hesitated, “I love you.” 

He whispered the last three words. Afraid he’ll wake you up. 

Little did he know, you were awake from the very first question he asked out loud. 

[lovingleehaechan]

I adore you. - Jung Jaehyun (Part II)

genre: fluff, angst(?)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: curse words

a/n: why hello there... long time no post T-T i know, it’s been too long since this awaited update but i’m back to writing now! it’s been a busy couple of months and i haven’t had time to sit back and actually enjoy writing without getting so stressed :( i hope this update is enough to fill the void for now. but for sure after this one, it’ll pick up. do you think y/n and jaehyun will have a happy ending? or will it end in an oof situation? stay tuned my loves! 

with all my love, summer x

It’s December, everyone knows what that means, exam season. Though it’s the end of semester, Jaehyun’s stress levels were through the roof. He hasn’t felt like this in a long while, unprepared and panicked over the little exams he has. In order to ease his worries, he motivates himself to go to the library and make an attempt to get something done. He can’t stand sitting on his living room couch, aimlessly scrolling through his phone while simultaneously searching for a movie to watch. 

Procrastination is and always will be a bitch but hey, at least he got himself out of the house. Even if it was just for a cup of coffee and a couple of minutes of looking at his notes. He sighs as he catches sight of the grey and miserable building in his campus. How he dreads staring at the old and ancient site. Jaehyun exhales another breath and gets himself mentally prepared for what is about to come. 

“Death and a breakdown,” his mind answers. 

As expected, the library was full of students also trying to study for their exams. Some caught with panic in their eyes while they read through their notes quickly and a few with their hands on their heads, seeking comfort from what was an oncoming breakdown. Though it was a huge building with many spots to sit and settle down with books, laptops and notes, Jaehyun always preferred the third floor, where there was a hidden bunch of tables caught in the middle of a forest of books. Not a lot of people knew of this particular spot, the only ones who knew about it were you and a couple of other friends. 

What he didn’t expect is to see you there with your earphones on, highlighter in hand, studying. He’s momentarily distracted by your calm appearance. Jaehyun never thought that someone could look so gorgeous just by being focused. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your head slowly moves in time with the music you’re listening to. 

His heart sighs again. 

His breath caught. 

And his long legs lead him to where you are. 

Without realising, he taps your shoulder. 

You turn your head slowly, reluctant to look up from the notes you just wrote. Catching sight of Jaehyun you smile with your eyes. 

“Oh hey,” you say as you take one earphone out. 

“You didn’t tell me you were in the library today.” he blurts. 

“Yeah, I legged it out this morning and forgot to ask if you wanted to come. You know how it is during exam season.” you explain to him in a hushed voice. 

Jaehyun nods, and sets himself down at the empty seat next to you. He takes out his notes, laptop and pencil case. All ready to get himself stuck at all the information he needs to learn for the coming week. 

As he gets himself setted, it only causes you to watch him as he goes about his unknowing routine whenever he’s in the library. You smile slightly, and a light chuckle comes out of your mouth. Jaehyun, busy getting himself together, didn't notice. 

He sits himself down on the chair next to you with a highlighter in his mouth and a furrowed eyebrow looking at his books. He had no idea how the fuck he was going to get all this information in his head for his exam that was two days from now. You on the other hand, went back to studying soon after you saw Jaehyun settle down. It only took a couple of minutes to get your head back into focus and immediately forgetting that your friend was there in the first place. 

A couple of hours, maybe three or two, you sigh deeply. Jaehyun had heard it over the music he was listening to. He looks over to you with a questioning look. 

You mouth, “I need a break.” and a smile breaks out from your face. 

He smiles with you, “me too,” he gestures with his fingers. 

Using your hands, you point out towards the exit, quickly followed by a gesture that indicated you wanted to eat too. 

Jaehyun nods in agreement but you decide to leave your things there as the both of you would only be gone for an hour. 

Or so you thought. 

Jaehyun didn’t realise how much he loved to spend time with you. Having a simple meal with you at the nearest convenience store is enough to have him smiling for the rest of the night. 

Your plan only consisted of having a quick meal and a brief walk around the library. But no, here you were, lying down on the couches situated in the lobby of some random building in the campus. 

“Hmm… law building.” Jaehyun voices. 

“What?” you say, as you give your best attempt to look at him, too comfortable to get up properly.

“I think we’re in the law building-” 

“I honestly can’t give two shits right now. I’m in procrastination mode. Let’s not disturb my unsettled peace.” you interrupt, rolling your eyes. 

Jaehyun chuckles once more for the nth time that day. 

“Why is it that when exam season rolls around, I’m just so stressed to the point where nothing can ease my worries and anxiety.” you suddenly voice your thoughts out loud. 

“Maybe it’s because you’re scared of failing. I know how high your standards are of yourself. Sometimes they’re unrealistic but they kinda make sense. I mean, I’m the same too.” Jaehyun sighs, exhaustion finally catching up to him. 

You stay silent for a minute, or five. 

“I can’t help it. That’s just me.” you start slowly. 

He says nothing, only nodding to encourage you to keep going. 

“I mean okay, a lot of it mostly has to do with how I see myself. I want to do well but I can never reach that place where I want to be… Yes it’s just exams but I like feeling proud of myself. I like seeing those grades that I worked hard for. But the thing is, I’m also… how do I say it. I’m only motivated when someone is there with me. Company, that’s all I need to keep myself going.” 

He stares at you. Nothing again. 

“But not everyone can give you that company,” Jaehyun states. “Not everyone understands.” 

Just like that he knew. He knew exactly what you were saying and that was all you needed. That was what both of you needed. Though there was clearly a deeper meaning to the reason, Jaehyun didn’t pry. 

He’s patient like that, he waits for you to come to him. Just like everything else in your friendship. 

It's your turn to sigh, closing your eyes. 

“Exactly,” 

He gives you a small smile. 

“Not even my own boyfriend can give me that anymore…” you finish. 

Jaehyun’s voice is caught in his throat. 

Did you really just say that out loud? After all this time, all those moments you shared with your boyfriend, Jaehyun was the first person you told. He saw how you were like in the beginning of your relationship. 

Happy, wrapped around each other's fingers, and not to mention you spent every waking moment with him whenever you got the chance. What changed he wondered. 

He didn’t know, but you were also asking yourself the same question. “Where did it all change? When did it change?” 

Taking note of your furrowed eyebrows, he made the decision to change the topic. 

“So, any plans after the exams?” keeping the topic light, despite the heavy feeling you both felt. 

“I’m not sure yet. I wanted to check out some of the Christmas markets around the city. I still need to get a few presents for my family and Doyoung and his family too.” 

“Isn’t that your entire family then?” he chuckles. 

Your eyes widen in shock which makes you sit up from your earlier position. “Fuck. You’re right.” You palm your face in distress, “ugh no.” 

He laughs a little louder, patting your head to comfort you. 

“Stop it you’re not making this any better.” panic starting to rise on your face. 

“Don’t forget mine too.” he teases, grinning at you widely.

“Shut up idiot, I already got yours.” you say, getting back to your mental list quickly after replying.

This caught Jaehyun off guard once more. His heart did a little jump again. Dammit, how can a simple sentence from you have that kind of effect on him. 

“Now I’m stressed. Fuck you bro.” you tell him after finishing your mental list. 

“I can always help you shop, you know. I’m quite good with buying presents.” he suggests. 

“Maybe that can work. It’ll lessen my stress levels. Well either lessen them or add to them, really depending on what you’re like on the day.” you chuckle. 

He opens his mouth to say something, takes a deep breath to reply something smart but he stops and nods as he says, “yeah you’re right.” 

You both laugh out loud, relieving some sort of stress from studying all morning. 

“Should we head back?” you ask, looking to your side. 

“We haven’t gotten anything to eat yet.” he points out the obvious with a look. 

“Stop it, don’t look at me like I’m dumb.” 

He rolls his eyes. 

“You of all people know that Jae. Don’t start.” 

Jaehyun smiles widely.

“Oh no here it comes.” 

You put your head in your hands. 

“I- of all people know just how dumb you really are y/n.” he starts laughing louder, making the people passing by stare at him weirdly. 

You sigh, “I just knew you were going to say that.” smiling unknowingly. 

“Dude stop.” 

But he couldn’t, he loved to tease you like that.

He loved doing everything with you. 

Oh what life would be like if he was able to kiss the living daylights out of you. 

He’d be complete. 

He wouldn’t need anything else.

Just you. 

[lovingleehaechan]

☼ [ 23:00 ] 

“i’m done doing this doyoung.”

“what do you mean?”

you sigh, “it’s the same thing over and over and over.”

“you can’t say that”

“i can’t?” you say in disbelief.

you took a deep breath in, “i can’t tell you that i’m finished with you trampling all over my feelings as if it’s nothing? i can’t tell you that i’m tired of feeling like shit every time you forget about our date or our fucking anniversary? it’s almost as if you know that i’ll stay regardless of whatever the fuck you do.”

he stays silent, guilty. 

“so tell me now, am i still not allowed to say that i’m finished with us?” 

he looks at you with tears forming in his eyes. 

you look at him the same.

you’re both hurting but it was time to let go. holding on tighter to each other will only hurt more further down the road or worse, lose yourselves in the process. he’s not the only one that’s at fault. you’ve had your days too, but if you think about it and you have, you’re left beaten and exhausted.

the endless fights, forgotten date nights and the relief you and him feel when you’re not around each other. what’s the point if the feelings aren’t there anymore? where did the love between you two go? 

“i’m sorry.” he whispers. 

“i’m sorry too,” you cry, taking a closer step forward towards him. 

you utter nothing, you look up to his face that’s looking down at you. your heart urges you to say something, anything.. and you do, “i love you so much but we both know, it’s time to let go.” 

a tear rolls down from his eyes, he nods slowly. “you have no idea how much i love you and it fucking hurts that it has to end like this.” 

you hold his cheek as you wipe his tears. 

you try and hold your own tears back but they fill in your eyes. 

one more word and you’re gone. 

so what do you do? 

your eyes do the talking. 

a tear rolls down your face as you sniffle. 

you give him a small smile, a light peck on the cheek. 

and walk away. 

you walked away from the man you’ve only ever truly loved. 

and he’s left there, watching the only woman he’s only ever loved walk away.

[lovingleehaechan]

☼ [18:16]

who knew you’d end up feeling this way about a friend you’ve known for so long.

taeyong always had a way with people.

smiling shyly at times, nodding his head to indicate he was paying close attention and not to mention his great sense of sympathy with others. he was always the quiet one, standing back and letting his friends become the centre of attention.

so how? how did you end up falling for him?

simple, really.

because of how much you knew him and how much he knew you.

the little things he remembers about you, like, how you don’t like too much sugar in your coffee. or how you prefer sunsets to sunrises. or maybe how he’s reminded of how you like them every time he sees one and sends you a photo of this.

easy right?

you know everything there is to know about taeyong. from the way he runs his fingers through his hair when he’s nervous to his usual order in a restaurant you both frequent. small things, big things. every single one.

but how do you know he feels the same way?

you don’t.

you’re merely guessing or analysing how he feels when he does things like this.

you’ve always known that feelings were complex things. but you only realised now just how complex they really were when you caught your heart in your throat around taeyong.

your head, as well as your heart reminds you, that’s your friend. your best friend.

[lovingleehaechan]

i may or may not be coming back on tumblr.... 

istg after all this time i got the guts to say this lmao

[lovingleehaechan]

☼ [ 22:37 ]

you may think that your most vulnerable moment is when you’re lying there naked with your significant other.

but for you, it’s those moments when you lie next to them and your heart is screaming “i love you”, and it’s caught in your throat.

it felt like that with haechan.

the morning after your unexpected sleepover at his dorm, you wake earlier than him.

as your eyes adjust to the brightness of the room, you follow the arm that’s wrapped around your waist.

turning slowly towards haechan. your heart melts and aches looking at his sleeping figure.

starting from the way his hair settles on his face to the beauty marks all over, and his lips.

God, his lips.

those lips that drive you crazy from silly side comments or ones who kiss your worries away.

his lips have an effect that leaves you breathless and your heart beating faster every time.

these thoughts made you unknowingly sigh loudly, causing him to shuffle awake. he slightly opens his eyes, peeking at you watching him.

haechan can’t hide his smile, kissing your cheek swiftly.

your heart stops for a moment but quickly settles after he repeats the same action once more. you attempt to hide your smile by burying your face into his side but he doesn’t let you.

he kisses you again, and again.

and again.

then all of a sudden, he says,

“i love you.”

[lovingleehaechan]

💌 clueless: part 2 a mark lee social media au

during the nct night night podcast valentine’s special, there’s a message about a boy that sounds an awful lot like one of the hosts, mark lee, but, you know, it’s mark, he’ll probably be too oblivious to figure that out, right?

Keep reading

[lovingleehaechan]

💌 clueless: part 1 a mark lee social media au

during the nct night night podcast valentine’s special, there’s a message about a boy that sounds an awful lot like one of the hosts, mark lee, but, you know, it’s mark, he’ll probably be too oblivious to figure that out, right?

[lovingleehaechan]

[lovingleehaechan]

we’re so glad to have you back ♡

[lovingleehaechan]

solitude part 5 is 70% finished!

[lovingleehaechan]

where u at? | part 10

kim doyoung | social media!au/college!au | fluff & angst

“just so you know; some guys are bad at texting, some answer in the shortest way possible and some like me don’t have time to text someone back, but believe me if a guy is really interested in you, he’ll text you.”

Keep reading

[lovingleehaechan]

seasons’ greetings 2020 ♡ renjun

[lovingleehaechan]

when a chinese group in korea plays a word game in english

[lovingleehaechan]

where u at? | part 8

kim doyoung | social media!au/college!au | fluff & angst

“just so you know; some guys are bad at texting, some answer in the shortest way possible and some like me don’t have time to text someone back, but believe me if a guy is really interested in you, he’ll text you.”

Keep reading

[lovingleehaechan]

kim doyoung | social media!au/college!au | fluff & angst

“just so you know; some guys are bad at texting, some answer in the shortest way possible and some like me don’t have time to text someone back, but believe me if a guy is really interested in you, he’ll text you.”

introductions | one | two | three | four | five | six

updating every wednesday & friday at 9pm (cet)

[lovingleehaechan]

renjun and his selfie struggles