lovecrafts-iranon

[lovecrafts-iranon]

tribute to jerboas

[lovecrafts-iranon]

yesterday my chess coach said it wasn't a big deal that I beat an nm because it was just a faster (15+10) game at a bar and not a serious tournament game.

that game had meant a lot to me. I'd call it the most important moment of my life because unlike the other master I beat this guy wasn't super old and therefore declining in skill. I really thought I had an achievement I could brag about that could never be dismissed like that. it was something I finally had as a retort to the you've never done anything thoughts. and as is common for my life, I suddenly realize that everything positive I've thought was based on stupid self serving delusions.

ive been extremely depressed. I just don't see anything life can offer me.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

[lovecrafts-iranon]

ive never done anything impressive in my life. that's never going to change.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

I think it's one of those normal non-corrupted amulets and I'm glowing green for unrelated reasons

[lovecrafts-iranon]

i am unfixable. it is impossible for me to ever be a big deal. People famous for their intellectual and creative achievements are a different species from me. kill em all I say. if I can't be one of them they should all fucking die. I need to get more serious about finding a way to kill myself that I won't chicken out of. I'd really like to go out in a way that makes the news but that's even harder with my cowardice.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

OMG LOOK AT IT

[lovecrafts-iranon]

In 1967 the government discovered that specific syllable structures combined with specific vocal tones and ultra-low-frequency sounds could speed up the process of unconscious internalization by over 1500%. This became particularly useful for teaching low-level employees large amounts of information, as "hypnophonic learning" could be done while the subject was asleep.

Hypnophone use became standard for new employees of the IRS and SEC, as it made large scale memorization of tax code and financial law significantly cheaper and easier than traditional conscious education.

However, long term use causes the subjects long term memory to atrophy, requiring nightly repetitions of hypnophone use. Some enterprising employees found that the effects could be counteracted with low dosages of LSD to preserve neuroplasticity.

Roughly 1 in 7 employees encountered a strange phenomenon: Mild financial clairvoyance.

One in roughly 50 employees experienced more significant effects, generally those ensconced in large isolated IRS warehouses, which seemed to replicate the monastic lifestyles of historical sages, depriving subjects of ordinary stimuli in favor of becoming attuned to minute changes in the sub-finantial background grid.

Once it was learned that these "enlightened" employees could predict market trends before they happened, the technology was bathed in funding, patented, and made the soul property of the IRS.

Now, these "Plutophants" are kept in nigh-perfect sensory deprivation at all times, fed a constant hypnotic fugue stream of psychic conditioning in the form of "radiosonic neuro-induction" which contains a special form of the United States Tax Code modified for recursive hypnophonic induction, as well as a ticker tape wired directly into the users spine.

The effects achieved are nothing short of stunning. The invisible hand is no longer invisible to us. The market can be fine tuned with surgical precision. The price of bread has maintained a perfect 0.002% +/- variance for over 25 years now, and those who attempt to disrupt the guidelines are regulated by the SECs crack psychonautics division, who are now able to hunt market manipulation via their disruption in the financial dreamscape.

Very rarely, a Plutophant can become so attuned to the guidelines that they achieve a sort of catastrophic neuro-depatterning, their synapses begin to produce a counter-signal to the neuro-induction frequencies; jamming, and eventually overpowering the machine. Study is still ongoing, but it is believed that they somehow perpetuate their own neurological fingerprint into the financial causal background grid itself, literally becoming "one with the market."

Study is ongoing.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

there's a point, one might call it the midwit point, beyond which I cannot get any better at anything I try. this is the big thing that I hate myself for.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

[lovecrafts-iranon]

a failed writer (like me) is one of the most disgusting and laughable types of person there is.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

once there was a city of marble and beryl and now there is an inviting marsh of quicksand.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

I don't have any control over the things I care about. Nothing I do ever improves my chess or writing skills. I put in all this effort and nothing happens. It hurts so badly constantly and I want to die.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

One thing you need to realize is that a smart person would never lose at chess to the people I am paired against. In fact, a smart person would kill himself in shame if he lost to any of these people. If only I were smart enough to figure out a way to get past my cowardice and kill myself. The world needs one less stupid person.

[lovecrafts-iranon]

i don't believe the mailman exists, it HAS to be our parents who bring us packages and letters there's no way for one guy to do all that

[lovecrafts-iranon]

the unabomber was so correct re: eat/have cake vs have/eat

[lovecrafts-iranon]

Krinklecrumb the Christmas Elf sighs after another long day of loading Marcille, Freiren, and Galadriel figurines into the warehouse. It's only May, but now's the busy season. Can't be loading sleighs in the middle of a polar winter. He feels a strange mix of resentment and longing for these beings the humans call elves. They're so much taller and prettier than him. Far North Elfish doesn't have a word for what he's feeling. 'Unjolliness' is the closest he can get. He'll talk to the boss tomorrow. The boss will know what to do.