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[lonelymoonbeams]

A Study on Mesmer Jr.

(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)

(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.

As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.

A Curious Impression

Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."

Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:

Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.

Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)

Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.

She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.

She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:

(Open Sandwich)

???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.

Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.

Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.

It's her abuse.

Dirtied Hands

Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.

But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."

Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.

She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:

Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.

Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.

As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.

She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.

Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.

For many reasons.

For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.

Proper Treatment

Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.

She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.

Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.

Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.

And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:

(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)

Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.

But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.

Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.

That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.

Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.

She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.

Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.

This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.

Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.

Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain

However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.

She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.

(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)

Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.

Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.

In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-

Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.

Or, something like that.

However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.

So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.

Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.

As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.

Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.

Press the Button

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.

A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.

Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.

Which is true.

However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.

That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."

Her Udimo is a machine.

Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.

This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.

Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.

I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.

She's glad that Vertin:

Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.

Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.

But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.

She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.

Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.

After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)

We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.

But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.

She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.

This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?

The Foundation

Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?

But, as said previously:

A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”

Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.

I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.

[lonelymoonbeams]

reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube

[lonelymoonbeams]

need to be on a missing persons poster

[lonelymoonbeams]

[lonelymoonbeams]

unfriendly hater

[lonelymoonbeams]

Mesmer Jr and Why She Says Her Anxiety “Totally Incurable”

There are probably some arcanists within the Foundation (maybe not St Pavlov’s itself) who have a soothing arcanum that helps a person calm down. Not quite Kakania’s mirrors where the end result is a calm and docile person, but an arcanum that genuinely calms a persons heart rate and helps them focus.

Only issue is that Mesmer Jr is probably still unable to take their arcanum. I have a theory / headcanon that she’s gotten very good at sending arcanum when it’s about to be used and when it’s being used on her. A result of years of hyper vigilance and paranoia around arcanists. Bessmert and Vertin both show signs of having arcanum sensitivity, and while we don’t know Bessmert’s arcanum we can assume Vertin’s is [Tuning]. Either way it means sensitivity to arcanum is a trait of a person and not a specific arcanum. So I think Mesmer Jr. would’ve built up a sensitivity like that towards arcanum and feeling arcanum being used on her sends her into a panic.

This also means that Mesmer Jr has an extremely bad reaction to anxiety medication since most of the major anxiety medication we use today were made around the 1970s~1990s with the sole exception of Zoloft. With many options along with working in a medical facility with a long line of (albeit bad) researchers. While there’s always the possibility of her just not having good responses to medication, I think there’s other factors involved.

[lonelymoonbeams]

THIS IS THE PART I LEFT OUT GUYS BECAUSE THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER POST 😭 READ THE MYTHOS OF SOPHIA Y'ALL

Sophia lore (because no one talks about her enough)

Sophia is actually canonically Turkish! The grandma in Vertin's head spent a whole trace comparing her to a rug, specifically a kilim, which is a Turkish rug that's known for being very fine, lightweight, and having unique patterns due to being handmade. She's probably from Anatolia, aka Asia Minor.

Her mom was in the hospital for a long time when she was little, and Sophia and Hugh (her dad) would go visit her.

Whenever Sophia finished her studies as a kid, Hugh would give her a candy. She saved them in a jar in order to buy flowers for her mom, although I'm not exactly sure how candies pay for flowers. A trade, maybe?

Also as a kid, Sophia had a habit of calling people's names twice. No relevance. I just thought it was cute.

Sophia used to get up early in order to collect sand from the beach. She used it to polish glass since she wanted to make her dad glasses. Oddly specific skill for a child to know, but hey.

Sophia was the one who introduced 37 to fruits in yoghurt. She learned it elsewhere before coming to Apeiron. She was also the one who gave 6 his metal crown- it was originally going to be a fabric hat until 37 got involved and they made it a metal triangle. Fortunately, 210 intervened and made it wearable.

Sophia worked with 37 on calculating for the return of their ship, likely in the position of Corrector. Both of them were on the shore waiting for it, and both saw their parents get reversed, only to wash up as geometric shapes.

Sophia's nervous habit has always been pulling her hair.

She can get very emotional when answering questions. However, she's always quick to backtrack as soon as she realizes.

Sophia is actually described as very smart. Despite being an outsider, she was faster than many of the others on Apeiron. However, it was never noticed because 37 would always be the one on top.

Girl has such self-esteem issues. Stop. Please. Why are you like this *head in hands*

Sonetto is someone she can relate to. They both are exceptional students and arcanists who will never be better than their childhood friend. They'd probably be friends, in another time.

The reason why she's the Corrector is because no one else wants to do it, since they see it as having to do with the world of matters.

Possibly the funniest- Hofmann has seen Sophia's baby/childhood picture, but they've never met each other.

[lonelymoonbeams]

apparently i can ask myself questions

how cool is that?

[lonelymoonbeams]

All songs mentioned, if anyone wants to give them a listen!

...AND THAT'S A WRAP!

The very first art collab from the Reverse: 1999 RP server! You might have seen a few of these posted already, but here's all 14 pieces in one! <3 Everyone did an awesome job, it's so so so so nice to see the full thing together!!

Can you recognize each character and every single song referenced? (the list of songs, characters and artists in order is below the cut!)

ARCANA. "Vita" by Hiiragi Kirai ( @jabberwockprince )

SEMMELWEIS. "Vampire" by DECO27 ( @pinkygirlymeg )

ISOLDE. "Black Out" by Azari ( @hatsunemikuplushie )

MATILDA. "Golden Number" by Iyowa ( @jorgyjuice )

FORGET ME NOT. "Nightmare" by Azari ( @holloska )

MELANIA. "Piano x Forte x Scandal" by OSTER project (@/xxmarixx_0039 on instagram)

PAVIA. "Undercover" by DECO27 ( @aa-archer42 )

SONETTO. "Non Breath Oblige" by PinocchioP ( @hammerbonk )

MEDICINE POCKET. "Knead that Fried Chicken, Shake that Fried Chicken" by nunu ( @medpocswife )

CLICK. "Mrs. DoRoDoRo" by Yasuhiro (@/smokeofwar92807 on twitter)

SOPHIA. "Language of the Lost" by RIProducer ( @lonelymoonbeams )

37. "It's Proof Geometric Construction Can Solve All Love Affairs" by ManboP (@/S0mebody4 on twitter)

MS. MOISSAN. "God-ish" by PinocchioP ( @anonymocha )

MS. NEWBABEL. "King" by Kanaria ( @thehybridgryph )

[lonelymoonbeams]

don't worry, sophia! according to my calculation, this is definitely the optimal angle for kissing someone!!

[lonelymoonbeams]

[lonelymoonbeams]

Mesmer Jr. spent 4 and a half weeks taking care of Vertin while she was in a coma. Sure, it was her duty, but an interesting thing is how most of the times we see her in that chapter she's just... Sitting there. Besides her.

Considering how stressful has to be dealing with patients with severe mental issues, taking care of Vertin must've been such a welcome change of peace.

But also... That's her friend. She expressed several times that, despite everything, she still appreciates and holds her in (at least) above average regards. Considering her role in the incident at the end of chapter 3, as well as the current state of her mental health (thanks Constantine), being there for the one friend who survived was probably... quite cathartic, I guess?

Her reaction when Lilya broke through the glass is pretty understandable: It must've triggered several things at the same time to seen a safe space burst like that.

I hope we get to see Mesmer Jr. getting the help or at least the confort she needs.

[lonelymoonbeams]

broken vase (1.9 spoilers)

37 could do this. 37 could do this.

Sophia exhales shakily, her hands still dripping with blood and black slime. Red like her hair, black like her dress, failing like her. The mangled body in front of her does not register her sorrow, lying cold and listlessly in front of her. Slowly, slowly, almost not, one bright blue eye blinks.

"210?" she whispers, the way she used to do when she was a little girl and she was afraid of the dark. "210, please? Please say something to me?"

"So…" His voice is a wheezy, broken rasp, like the wind over rubbled ruins, but it's there. A rush of relief fills her, her heart feeling a little bit lighter. Last time he was alive, he didn't even speak. "Soph… Soph-"

"I'm here. I'm here, you're safe. It's okay," Sophia reassures him, her hands hovering nervously above him as if afraid to dirty him, to break him again, to taint him with the blood on her fingers. "You're okay."

A low, rattling groan like a dying animal's cries escapes his lips. "Soph… ia… you…"

His words send that feeling of dread crashing over her body again like cold ocean waves. Because she's left the safety of her island home for the unpredictable oceans, and now she's drowning.

"Stop… don't… bring… me… back…"

Sophia stifles a sob, but backs away. She lowers her head and lowers the flow of her arcanum, allowing the false body to melt away into more back slime. She brought him back wrong. This time, too, this time she failed. Again. As always. But that's okay. That's okay.

She'll get it right. And they'll be together again. Just like he would have wanted.

[lonelymoonbeams]

Sophia lore (because no one talks about her enough)

Sophia is actually canonically Turkish! The grandma in Vertin's head spent a whole trace comparing her to a rug, specifically a kilim, which is a Turkish rug that's known for being very fine, lightweight, and having unique patterns due to being handmade. She's probably from Anatolia, aka Asia Minor.

Her mom was in the hospital for a long time when she was little, and Sophia and Hugh (her dad) would go visit her.

Whenever Sophia finished her studies as a kid, Hugh would give her a candy. She saved them in a jar in order to buy flowers for her mom, although I'm not exactly sure how candies pay for flowers. A trade, maybe?

Also as a kid, Sophia had a habit of calling people's names twice. No relevance. I just thought it was cute.

Sophia used to get up early in order to collect sand from the beach. She used it to polish glass since she wanted to make her dad glasses. Oddly specific skill for a child to know, but hey.

Sophia was the one who introduced 37 to fruits in yoghurt. She learned it elsewhere before coming to Apeiron. She was also the one who gave 6 his metal crown- it was originally going to be a fabric hat until 37 got involved and they made it a metal triangle. Fortunately, 210 intervened and made it wearable.

Sophia worked with 37 on calculating for the return of their ship, likely in the position of Corrector. Both of them were on the shore waiting for it, and both saw their parents get reversed, only to wash up as geometric shapes.

Sophia's nervous habit has always been pulling her hair.

She can get very emotional when answering questions. However, she's always quick to backtrack as soon as she realizes.

Sophia is actually described as very smart. Despite being an outsider, she was faster than many of the others on Apeiron. However, it was never noticed because 37 would always be the one on top.

Girl has such self-esteem issues. Stop. Please. Why are you like this *head in hands*

Sonetto is someone she can relate to. They both are exceptional students and arcanists who will never be better than their childhood friend. They'd probably be friends, in another time.

The reason why she's the Corrector is because no one else wants to do it, since they see it as having to do with the world of matters.

Possibly the funniest- Hofmann has seen Sophia's baby/childhood picture, but they've never met each other.

[lonelymoonbeams]

am i a robot or a doll?

am i anything at all?

maybe a thing like me doesn't yet deserve to know...

[lonelymoonbeams]

Laplace KB icon for @lonelymoonbeam

[lonelymoonbeams]

“When I’m flying through the air and I reach my highest point, I know that you're watching.”