Alone man, mid 30's, recognising my toxic traits of my past is part of the crafting required so that I could become a better man. I'm 馃 sad. here is where I vent that sadness. 馃
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by lonelymanthoughts and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
2
Likes Per Post
2
Reblog Per Post
0
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
2 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
Text
17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has 4 main sources of revenue.
Text
So in recent months I have become aware of 'masking' more and more and I don't understand how I was happy unknowingly masking but now I am aware of it I'm struggling really bad to take the mask off but it's even harder to keep 'wearing' the mask.
It's all self diagnosis, but how I feel everyday with this challenge really has opened my eyes up to the struggle others may feel on a day to day basis.
I don't feel like after 30 years I should now need medical help, as I was fine before and nothing has changed except my knowledge and understanding.
The issues I struggle with is that I feel I am incapable of understanding people's emotions at the time of the conversation, I will have a normal conversation and within about 15 minutes of overplaying the conversation in my head I start to recognise that the words where not meant to be taken literally and that the emotion and tone should of been the main focus, then I realise that I didn't process what the conversation really entailed as I was engrossed in the words more.
When I next converse I try and put my new found discoveries to action only to find that, again, I was focusing on now on the emotion more than the context.
I dunno, I'm kinda babbling now I think.
I'm just??? How can I be so unhappy trying to improve myself?
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly happy before, my inability to consider emotion in conversation would tend to sway the conversation into a disagreement or argument.
The unknown masking days were easier because I would just bottle stuff up, but that bottle's lid is purposefully lost as that made me a very angry man when the bottle got full.
I got a lot of growing, learning and experiencing to do, but boy it's hard work discovering yourself alone.
1 note
路
View note
Text
My 200% isn't worth the 2%, especially when it lacks any emotion, let alone love
0 notes
Text
The image you built of me in your head, may be worse than me. but the image I built in my head of you, is way better.
0 notes
Text
As soon as I stop doing, I start thinking.. it's good and bad
0 notes
Text
What does she mean by this :- ' you should see my Facebook Inbox, I don't even need to go on dating sites'
0 notes
Text
Calling me a clown while you hang a sign referring to your family as a circus is another form of gaslighting
0 notes
Text
10 years you loved me and now it's all over. Told indirectly that I'm a clown whilst for the past 10 years there was never a mention, verbally it was the opposite...
0 notes
Text
Sometimes I don't think it's me, sometimes I think it's you.
Often I won't say, because when I do.
You kill me with silence.
But how will we grow if we can not talk honestly with each other .
You don't mind about my feelings being hurt when you announce my downfalls.
But I have to always be mindful of yours.
Maybe my mind is more open to change and growth.
Maybe I started slow but I've zoomed right past.
I'm still lost without you, but you're happy without me.
The old me. The arrogant me. The manipulative me. The gas lighting me. The angry me. The struggling me. The old me.
Only through time and 1st hand accounts will you ever see for yourself who I have become.
You just don't want to see it anymore.
I understand your trusting of my word has gone.
1/3 of our lives together and you don't want to risk anymore.
FUCK!
0 notes
Text
Is it actually everyone else that is to blame, or is it simply just you?
Ask yourself.
Be honest with yourself.
No damage can be caused to yourself by being honest with yourself.
So ask yourself again.
Is it actually everyone else that is to blame, or is it simply just you?
You have the power to change how you feel about your reply in any way you want, so don't be afraid to change, embrace it.
馃А
0 notes
Text
0 notes
Text
Well, it just goes like that, people just appear in front of you, no need for introductions, just flowing and I'm glowing. The difference just some normal conversation makes to a day.
0 notes
Text
The awkward silence after someone tells you that you talk too much and then they fail to provide any conversation and we just sit in silence is another level of awkwardness 馃槙馃槖
0 notes
Text
Really struggle to stay mentally strong when I'm always in my head convincing myself I'm wrong. Man I fucking hate being by myself, physically mute .
0 notes
Text
The song 'no scrub' is about a rich woman not wanting a leachy poor man, is it still called a 'scrub' if a rich man doesn't want a leachy poor lady (including benefit claiming full time mums)?
0 notes