local-chicken-man

[local-chicken-man]

Who could be Charlie....

…

[local-chicken-man]

My dude, Emily has been begging to fix that ratty hoodie, and there’s more holes than fabric now, so i would take her up on her offer.

Like I told her many, MANY times, I’m fine. And it’s not ratty, it’s worn down.

[local-chicken-man]

where’s that "buh" thing coming from?

I don’t even really know. Might be something I picked up from my folks, just…a little thing I do….buh, why am I even trying to describe this?

[local-chicken-man]

If you wanted another jacket, you could've just asked.

Here, have this.

Uh…no thanks. With all due respect, that looks like the coat an arms dealer would wear. So I’ll uh…I’ll pass.

[local-chicken-man]

Hello kind sir, may I interest you in some chocolate-

Did…did you just say chocolate? CHOCOLATE? CHOCOLATEEE-

…buh, why the fuck did you hit me with a crowbar…

[local-chicken-man]

..why are there 3,472 peppers pouring out of your mailbox?

Don’t question my needs.

[local-chicken-man]

Oh, uhm... Hello. I'm Marvin. I'm new around the valley, so I'm just introducing myself to the residents. It's nice to meet you!

*Despite his friendly demeanor, Marvin never once makes eye contact with Shane. He was going to go in for a handshake, but stopped at the last second, having his hand out kinda, but not really. He seems real socially awkward.*

@ask-marvin-and-lisa

Uh…sup, I suppose. You’ll get along with everyone…decent, I hope. Have fun, if ya can.

[local-chicken-man]

hey shane so in the mines there's this one purple rock and it looks like the top of your head and when you mine it it drops some kind of gem every time and i like to think that means you're a gem <3

Uh…uhhh…

Buh…idk what to say so I literally die I guess.

[local-chicken-man]

If you hate Jona so much, why do you always wear that jacket? Is it like a comfort item, or is it just the only jacket you have?

Literally yes. It’s the only jacket I have, and I’m gonna get fucking drenched if I don’t wear it on rainy days. Im serious, please help, this is a fucking crisis.

[local-chicken-man]

Hey! I'm that farmer that lives up the road from you!

I hate to ask, but can I borrow a cup of sugar? I'm baking a cake but ran out :/ No worries if not!

Have a great day!

Uh…I’ll see if I can get some for ya, bud. Like…do you have a preference, or could I just buy some from Joja? Just lemme know when you have time, farmer.

[local-chicken-man]

Hello Mr. Shane, I need to know this desperately (for science of course) Why do they call it oven if you of in the cold food and of out the hot food?

-- sincerely, 🧪 anon.

…I’ve lost faith in humanity, at this point. I’m gonna start putting barb wire fence and hardwood over my windows, I don’t care anymore. I’m scared of y’all, and I’m gonna get a little bit violent like a New Yorker.

[local-chicken-man]

HIHI, Archie again! Considering your chicken.. Charlie’s his name, right? Since he’s rainbow and.. maybe sick? I dunno if he’s supposed to be rainbow?? Anyways, I.. uh, I made some noodle soup. It’s got veggie broth and wheat noodles in it. Hope Charlie feels better!

- @smiley-geese

Aw…thanks Archie, I really appreciate it. I think Charlie ate a prismatic shard…I honestly have no damn clue how, but chickens be chickens, I guess. Still, that’s real nice of ya.

[local-chicken-man]

is your hair naturally this color?

Uh…yeah. A little weird, I know, but hey, I ain’t changing it…unless I start greying soon, then I’ll dye it something else. I’ll let ya know if it happens.

[local-chicken-man]

FAVORITE COLOR 321 GO-💥

UH UH BLUE I GUESS??? WHY ARE WE YELLING???

[local-chicken-man]

Hey uh......

Uh.....

.....

What's your name?

-2anon4anon

Uh…Shane. My name is Shane.

[local-chicken-man]

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice

…what do you want.

[local-chicken-man]

Hello! Just moved in here, I’m your next door neighbor-

..why is your backyard flashing different colors? Did I interrupt a party? Sorry ;-;

-Archie

Wait…what are you talking about-

CHARLIE?