local-chicken-man

[local-chicken-man]

Merry…well, early early Christmas, or whatever guys. Feast of the Winter Star, or Hanukkah or…uh, I dunno. But happy holidays. I’ll be free from work that day, so I’ll be able to answer more from y’all. This was…well, a damn good year with you guys, so I appreciate it a whole lot.

Y’all are some awesome people, keep being you.

[local-chicken-man]

Meow! 💋

…buh.

[local-chicken-man]

Can chicken eat soup

Without adverse side effects

…I think so? I dunno, too lazy to try it.

[local-chicken-man]

Meet my cat

That cat looks like the living embodiment of a pebble…no thought, just cat. I love them.

[local-chicken-man]

Holy shit…Aqua Teen Hunger Force mention? I loved that show!

Wait, lemme do my master shake face…

What if I stare at u like this

[local-chicken-man]

Why do you look so huggable?

…I dunno? Please don’t hug me, I’m not a big hugger.

[local-chicken-man]

How was highschool?

High school was…eh, alright, I guess. I was kind of uh��jack of all trades, I suppose. Did mostly gridball for the highschool team, but I might have done a play or two for the drama club in my prime. I know, major shocker, but I love that stuff — I think my favorite one I did was when I was on Footloose, got to play, uh…Reverend, I think. The dad, like the pastor guy. Didn’t do half bad either, they said I was wonderful at the part.

So yeah, pretty okay high school days.

[local-chicken-man]

I saw the anon that said your small and if it helps in anyway you taller than me

Which is sad for myself

Nah, it’s alright…I ain’t as big as I used to be. Not like when I was back in my gridball days, anyhow.

On the plus side, I don’t scrape my head on doorways anymore. That was a big problem for young adult me…so I’m glad I shrunk a little. Yeah, the doorways were a little shorter back then, but you get what I mean.

[local-chicken-man]

You guys have roosters there. They always wake me up at 6 in the fucking morning.

Well that’s your problem for going around the farm at six in the fucking morning, idiot. Maybe invest in earplugs, but the rooster stays.

[local-chicken-man]

Meow!

…alright then, nutellix.

(Just shuffles away)

[local-chicken-man]

What Papa's ria game do you like most?

Oh, uh…I like the burger or ice cream ones. Sometimes I play them on my phone when I have time at work. Like…uh, when I’m in the back room on my break.

[local-chicken-man]

Meet my chonky son.

Oh my goodness…he’s me if I was a cat. It’s just so accurate it scares me.

[local-chicken-man]

Are you a skibidi Sigma

…I didn’t think I could be assaulted with those words. I hope you stub your toe trying to get food in your house.

[local-chicken-man]

I was being held at gunpoint.

…what.

[local-chicken-man]

I love you (platonically)!

Love ya platonically as well, bud. Love ya that way too.

[local-chicken-man]

Just wanted to say that I love your worn shirt, it's so you and I really like who you are

- With love, a random anon

…uh, thanks. Caught me off guard…I just woke up a little bit ago, so uh…bear with me.

[local-chicken-man]

How's Charlie?

Charlie is doing…well, relatively better. Not glowing like a damn nightlight or shifting colors anymore, so I can only assume it’s okay now.

But of course, little fella is living the chicken paradise.