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He is content, while she is still fighting to accept that the man she wished to be with would remain a fantasy. She sometimes wonders if he remembers her and the memories they shared. Did he ever think about all her what-ifs? What if they continue to fight? Is it possible that they are still in a relationship?

They shared a love story that neither of them considers worthy of discussing. Two people who fell in love, disguised their feelings, and after a year of waiting for the proper time, they confess their feelings, become an official couple, and face the struggle of being separated from one other. Now the one who fought the struggle, trusted him, and waited for the nth time to be together. While the other has become a ghost, she wishes to be aware of her existence on occasion. She had understood him for so long that even she couldn't answer the question, "Is there a valid cause for the absence?" ”. He took her for granted, and she saw the relationship deteriorating.

When a girl falls in love, she becomes a fighter, yet girls are limited fighters. She is aware of her limits and knows when to give up. And she gave up not because love had vanished, but because he had made her believe that love for her had vanished.

They transform into separate people who dwell in a world where their paths never cross. But their recollections pursued her and rendered her numb after a long day and many years. The truth will stand, he is happy, and she was stuck in a sadness that no one should ever know about. He created his own self. While she begins to conceal her feelings so that no one can make her feel any more lonely than she already does

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literally a walking dead...and I just want to stop this.

I realized today that I have stopped living life. I’m literally just trying to get to the next day, just living in the thought of tomorrow. I‘m not living, I’m waiting. And the problem is, I don’t know what I’m exactly waiting for. I‘m kind of scared for what it might be.

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New year, New me...Hope I could embrace those words.

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This day I will stop to become a girl who waits for him. I reached the finish line let him be. i should move on now. Not later but NOW.

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When I was a child I never thought that love will have such a big impact with me. I never thought that rose and sunflower were two different thing, all I know they belong in one group. But growing up I've learned that they might be in one group but their characteristic makes difference.

What if I'm a rose, would him still let me go?

What if I'm not a sunflower, will he like me?

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February 14, 2019

This day where flower, bears and chocolate are everywhere my broke into pieces. I spent many valentines day feeling envy to those girl carrying flowers and chocolates. But this years is the first. I spent it by breaking may heart. Its true what you don't know won't hurt you.

To the second man who broke my heart, congratulations you made a frozen heart beat again. Too bad it beats to be broken again. You made me feel again till to the point I want to be numb again. Again I feel this pain but in a whole new version. Tears disappear maybe because i cried to many before. But this heart aches again as if stitches from the past opens up.may you are just one of "again" of my life.

We are far different from my first. Becuase this time i wont dare admitting it. I wont tell you "I love you" or "I like you" the way i did before. But instead I wilm just walk away. Not because I deny loving you but becuase I love myself, and admiting will hurt so much. For it was her that you like or maybe love and me. I walk away to be heal up and be the gitl who has a frozrn heart just like before i met you.

Today, I'll be the girl before you meet each other. The heart with a broken heart. But this time the girl who was broken twice in a row.

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To the man i used to know.

Years ago I wanted to be that person who supports you, encourge you, and love you in all circumstances. But time changelle us and gives us the reason to live life seperately. My dreams that included you become a blurry picture that faded through years. You live your life as if i never existed but i live mine storing all the pain, grief, and what ifs. You find your happiness while I am stuck with my sadness. She came and held you at the time no one stayed for me. That time I lost you I also lost my friends whom I thought will support me when I got broken I lost may sense of happiness I lost myself. Now I feel like I was walking in the middle of a road with no sight of ending and no one can help me.

After what happen to us I am now the person who smile when someone smiles at me. Who laught because someone crack a joke that is funny. Who say "i am fine" because that what should I be and thats what i want to be.

Don't get me wrong I am happy for you, for your success for your happiness that you found with her. Just a thought of you were happiness while i am miserable make me feel sad. Why can't we have it both might not with each other but at least we are both happy.

-Sweet Serendipity

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When you know that you are not fighting against other people but the universe itself.

Photo credit to pinterest

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When I know I already surrender. Not the thought of me with him did flash once in a while makr it wrong but what it makes me feel that is uncertain. Atleast I am doing right by surrendering.

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Each time Step forward the more truth tells me to step back. Everytime I thought of you liking me the more she shows me you don't l. Whenever I pretend to not to care the more I do. But funny thing was I never felt the pain. Never shed a tear. Or I really don't have the same feeling that a real person have. Simply because for the past years I learn to be numb enough to avoid all the heartache so now forgive me if I laugh though crying. If I get loud saying none sense rather than how I feel. This is me now after all the pain. From "the girl who cant be moved" to "the girl who can't feel".

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World is huge, life is playful. Guess what life got addicted playing mine. Heart beating but not feeling.

Fallin to the wrong guy at the wrong time.

#feelindumb #heartache #noonetosharethepain

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I want to travel the world with a hope of finding myself.

#missingsoul #lostandcantbefind #loneliness #alone

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2019 New years Resolution

BE THE BETTER VERSION OF MYSELF.

This coming years I ought to create a new and improved version of myself. First.,I would never depend my happiness on someone instead i have my self to lean and be the independent woman who catches fish rather than the who give. Second, I'll both physical and emotional self. I would improved my outer and inner beauty not for other but for myself. Third, I would stop comparing myself or my life with other becuase I am worth more than beeing compared. Fourth, I will stop livong from my past and start living my today with positive outlook. Last, love comes at the right if this will be give, fine. If not i stop looking for it and let faith do the work.

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Forever in love with the thought of you.

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Dear Someone (open letter)

This might be a hidden thing but all I need is an outlet so plese bear with me. I never planned this, it just happen. I remember when I first saw you. I never thought you could be something. But when I saw that look, that's it i'm into you. Your glare that would make star fall from the sky. Your playful smile that for no reason made me smile as well. That little moment our skin touches. That's it I honestly fell for you.

Memories of that day haunts me at night. We are walking in laughters when my eyes meets yours. That's the time my heart felt again. From then on you never left my mind, you even capture my soul. Memories of him was washed away by yours and I write our story.

But this day marks the end. I could see you like her. Forgive me my love, but I can't put a bet on you for I know it was her that wins to start with. I know it not for me to let go for i dont have anything to hold on. Forgive me as well for I stepped back becuase I never want to rewrite his story to us. Maybe being friend is for us beyond that is unattainable. Hope she made you happier than I dreamt you could to me.

It ironic considering it was you gestures that remind me of him. But his memories that make me to let you go. Our story was not my story with you, becuase this time I learn to let go first before pain force to do so.

Sincerely,

Sweet Serendipity 💋

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Funny but this lines hit me. Maybe just maybe I am not that pretty for him

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Pain made 360 turn to a person personality.