littleladylecter-a - Tumblr blog

[littleladylecter-a]

like. not me suddenly remembering i still have things she gave me. not me wanting to reach out to her again. not me probably doing really badly mentally and wanting to like, check in on abusive people.

not me missing my old threads on here.

[littleladylecter-a]

gah like. not me still being upset over my fall out with my old partner and the way she treated me and my friends on here YEARS later. not me missing her like crazy. years. later.

not me missing my old threads on here.

[littleladylecter-a]

not me missing my old threads on here.

[littleladylecter-a]

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 & 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒

                                                     𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄                                       

“You’re dripping blood on the carpet.” “When I said scars are kinda sexy, I didn’t mean you should get one right away…” “Press that against the wound, I’m going to get the med kit.” “It’s bleeding quite badly.” “Oh God, what happened to you?!” “You’re covered in blood! Is it yours?” “Your head looks pretty bad. I’m sure it’ll need stitches.” “It’s going to hurt for a moment, but I’ll need to clean the wound.” “I’m so sorry this happened to you. But you’re safe now.” “That’s a pretty nasty bruise. Want some ice?” “Does it still hurt?” “I don’t think a band aid is gonna fix this…” “Whoa, hey, stay with me! You’re as white as a ghost. Don’t pass out.” “Damn, that must hurt. I’m sure there are some painkillers around here.” “You have to be seen by a doctor. This isn’t going to heal on its own.” “It looks broken. Can you move it at all?” “Here, lean on me. I’ll support you.” “I’m not going to leave you behind. If need be, I’ll carry you.” “I’m going to pick you up now, okay? Just hold on to me.” “Everything is going to be okay. Just hang in there.”

“I don’t feel so good.” “It’s seeping through the bandages.” “My head is throbbing. I think I have a concussion.” “I can barely breathe, it hurts so bad!” “It looks worse than it is. I’m sure it’ll be gone in a couple of days…” “You should see the other one.” “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want your pity.” “It was my fault, really. I wasn’t paying attention and got hit in the face.” “Getting stabbed wasn’t really on my bucket list.” “I don’t think I can walk.” “Leave me behind, please. I’m just going to slow you down.” “Am I going to die?” “I can’t stop the bleeding.” “I think the bruise matches my eye color.” “Don’t touch it, please! It hurts.” “I don’t want to go to a hospital. I hate doctors!”

[littleladylecter-a]

I haven’t been on here in years, and tbh, I don’t really think I’ll ever return as much as I do miss Mischa, sometimes. I’ve been rewatching Hannibal with a friend of mine and it’s bringing all these memories right back. Hoo boy.

I’ve graduated college, am teaching special education full-time, and got on ADHD meds. I’m writing, cosplaying, doing makeup art, and am all-around in a (mostly) better mental space than I was around the time I left this blog. But I miss my Mischa all the same.

If anyone’s still around, *waves*.

[littleladylecter-a]

update from the mun ;;

    I am not entirely sure if anybody else is still around, but to those who are – this blog is officially going to be archived, and possibly deactivated. I can see how much I’ve grown and changed as a person since I started Mischa, and how she’s taken me through drastically different parts of my life since I made her when I was seventeen. I’ll be turning twenty-one this year, and let me tell you, it’s been a hell of a ride.

    I won’t forget how much Mischa meant to me. And it’s very possible I may start afresh with her in the future. As of right now, she reminds me a little bit too much of my younger self, and some of the things that went wrong here along the way.

    To anybody that’s still out there – thank you for sticking with her. Thank you for sticking with me through all these years. My new home is a different character @messiahrisen where I am beyond happy. Maybe I’ll bring Mischa back one day, and if I do, you’re all welcome to come back to her.

    I love you guys. It’s been real. <3

[littleladylecter-a]

update from the mun ;;

    I am not entirely sure if anybody else is still around, but to those who are -- this blog is officially going to be archived, and possibly deactivated. I can see how much I’ve grown and changed as a person since I started Mischa, and how she’s taken me through drastically different parts of my life since I made her when I was seventeen. I’ll be turning twenty-one this year, and let me tell you, it’s been a hell of a ride.

    I won’t forget how much Mischa meant to me. And it’s very possible I may start afresh with her in the future. As of right now, she reminds me a little bit too much of my younger self, and some of the things that went wrong here along the way.

    To anybody that’s still out there -- thank you for sticking with her. Thank you for sticking with me through all these years. My new home is a different character @messiahrisen where I am beyond happy. Maybe I’ll bring Mischa back one day, and if I do, you’re all welcome to come back to her.

    I love you guys. It’s been real. <3

[littleladylecter-a]

winter is escape by Mindaugas Buivydas Behance / Instagram

[littleladylecter-a]

[littleladylecter-a]

[littleladylecter-a]

What I had once mistaken for death was, instead, a door.

Rachel McKibbens, from “the second time,” published in Vinyl (via lifeinpoetry)

[littleladylecter-a]

When instead of swallowing a fistful of white pills,

you decided to shower,

the palm trees nodded in agreement,

a choir of crickets singing

behind your swollen eyes.

The masked bird turned to you

with a shred of paper hanging from its beak.

At dusk, hair wet and fragrant,

you cupped a goat’s face

and kissed his trembling horns.

— Erika L. Sanchéz, from “Six Months After Contemplating Suicide,” published in Poetry Magazine

[littleladylecter-a]

I am ice all over, the dead tree frozen

and reaching up to our bedroom window,

and I am also the axe.

— Rachel Mennies, from “Early Winter, Before (II),” published in Waxwing

[littleladylecter-a]

In spite of the snow, nothing is beautiful,

Kathy Fagan, from “Poem With Its Heart Buried Under the Floorboards,” published in The New York Times (via lifeinpoetry)

[littleladylecter-a]

Merry Christmas everybody. ❤

[littleladylecter-a]

L I L I T H

first wife of Adam in jewish mythology

requested by anon

[littleladylecter-a]

This world is ruled and destroyed as if its fragility and future was understood, its fate lead on the road of stupidity and ignorance. Only a few see the truth, only a few will survive the inevitable end they themselves will create. For a while I believed in them, now as I stay stranded I realise the end is inevitable. Unless I can train them to better themselves, to create humans above others, the next step in their evolution. So I remain till I have completed my mission, till I see an end to this world as it now is.

117, reporting to those who will hear these words.

Independent oc, multi-fandom, NSFW, +22, non-selective

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