lisajsparkman

[lisajsparkman]

A Friend of Noble Character

Have you ever had a friend that brings you closer to God? One that brings you closer when even you yourself cannot? I have. Now, I’m not going to name any names. Okay, I lied, I am. There’s a girl named Pari Krishen. She seriously is a woman of character, one who is so willing to be moulded by God. She has a heart that strives to please the one who created her and everyday strives more and more to be like Christ. It takes some serious trust to overcome deep insecurities, life plans, and struggles she has been through. No matter what the struggle, she will put it before God and ask Him for strength and guidance. Did I tell you she loves God more than people? Don’t get me wrong, she loves people, deeply. But her love for God, man, it’s just out of this world. Her perseverance shows her character, and what her aim in life is: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” -Hebrews 10:23. This passage from the Bible reminds me of her. We don’t need to be perfect in all of our actions and words. All we need is a hope that is unshakeable– and we know and are confident we have one because Jesus showed us through his death on the cross and his resurrection on the third day. We also need a faith to trust in Jesus and that his ways is the way to God. “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”- Hebrews 11:1. My friend Pari has just that. A faith that is unshakeable despite what the world has to say. All you need is faith, but also a hope, where that faith can lie. There are some women who do noble things, but you, surpass them all. Love you forever, love you for eternity.

[lisajsparkman]

Strength in Pain

The worst pain anyone can ever experience, is a parent experiencing the loss of their own child. The one they created, gave birth to, and seen grow up— and then just pass. Seeing someone so young and close to you die before you is a hard pill to swallow. Personally, I have never experienced children, nor losing a child so I will never completely know how it feels, but I can imagine the heartbreak and pain there is when a parent or the parents loses their son or daughter.

Just recently, one of my friends— close friends from high school died. He was a good friend who was full of inspiration and creativity. He always found strength in pain. Battling from a serious illness, he remained humble, and quiet about his situation, not attracting any attention to himself. It’s sobering to think about what happened and how it can happen to anyone. Grey hairs can appear to remind us of our aging selves, but there is nothing like seeing a young man passing at the age of 21. This tragedy is a reminder to me that life is short, too short to complain of what I don’t have. Our days are truly numbered. My prayers go out to his family. You are missed my friend.

[lisajsparkman]

What is the meaning of this?

[lisajsparkman]

It’s over. All over. Overcast skies and all.

[lisajsparkman]

looking in, looking out, looking up. Sometimes all it takes is looking into the right mirror. [James 1:23-24]

[lisajsparkman]

Trusting that you will make something beautiful out of me.

[lisajsparkman]

Thank you God for music. For beauty. For joy. 

[lisajsparkman]

Dear Par

No matter how far you fall, I promise I will always be there. No matter how much pain there is, just know I really do care. You know, you have so much potential, much talent and skill, I don’t think you even realize, So I am here to tell you the truth, listen if you will. You believe you don’t have the energy, I’m here to tell you I’ve seen it before, “Can’t get outta bed,” All you need is a little faith and to step outside your door. You say you feel more tired the less you move, no motivation or desire, your heart feels like an aching wound. When you think this struggle will never end, remember also This friendship will never either because No matter how far you fall, I promise I will always be there, No matter how much pain there is, just know I really do care. You have been there, you can win Together we can fight this one You are not alone. There is nothing in this life that will tempt you more than you can bear, I promise you, there is a way out So you can endure.

[lisajsparkman]

Here is a link to my Toronto Arts and Culture blog! Enjoy :)

[lisajsparkman]

Autumn Grass Still life.

[lisajsparkman]

[lisajsparkman]

Grateful for this man.

[lisajsparkman]

[lisajsparkman]

These are my confessions

It’s important to see good in the world. Everyone loves to be around positive people. People dream to marry positive people, work with positive people and have positive influences in our lives. But I don't think positivity is the answer to all life’s questions.

My positivity sometimes pushes me away from the truth because I begin to become unaware of the negativity around me. Do I see my need for God? At times, I can forget my need for God. I must confess I can forget how broken this world is. I am not sure if I live in a bubble, I probably do, but the world deceives me in making me believe that there is nothing wrong with it and everything will be okay. “Yes, everything will be okay.” I tell people that all the time when they are going through tough situations— but is it really going to be okay? Or am I just saying that to get past the situation?

This world is broken. Period. The fact that there are people starving in this world and then others that can eat, is something I don't completely understand. The fact that there are orphans in this world— children without their parents caring for them, is also something I don’t completely understand. Why do I get to have a father who takes care of me and there are people in this world that don’t have anyone at all? My heart aches when I see the news every morning. At times I won’t pay attention and I will turn the channel because it makes me so sad. I confess, I get numb towards it.

I have come to the conclusion— with the help of God, to understand the meaning of all this.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. —James 1:27.

We must serve God by serving others. We must put God number one in our lives, not second. But it’s really hard to not put ourselves first, I am constantly thinking about all the things I want to do for myself this week now that I have a week off. Yes, we should still love ourselves— love the people around us as much as we love ourselves— but God is still first.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. —Galatians 5:13

Seeing selfishness is just as depressing as seeing the poor. God calls us to serve those who are in need, whether its financially, spiritually, physically or emotionally. If you have a family, pull someone into your family who lacks one. If someone is hungry, feed them. If someone is alone, talk to them.

God’s commands simply make sense. I pray to God I can have a heart to put you first.

[lisajsparkman]

Thankful for: Confession!

The minister at my church asked us to think of what we are thankful for.  So I am here to share how thankful I am for…confession! First of all, I must confess, when he first asked us to do that, the thought that passed through my mind was quite embarrassing. I thought to myself, “What am I thankful for?” I kid you not, I couldn’t think of anything. “School is overwhelming, I have so much stuff to do, and my acne is getting worse because of stress…” Pride. I realized in that moment there was something up.

Confession is like taking a shower. It cleans you up. Cleans up our soul. Generally I am an early riser, but when life gets busy I have no time to shower. A day can pass and the grease in my hair is already there or the dirt behind my ears and in between my toes will form— I don’t know, but just saying that keeping clean is important and is generally done frequently. Confession is similar to showers because when we confess to one another, it’s a way to purify and cleanse ours hearts. It’s also the most refreshing thing and very good for the soul.

Naturally, I am a person that will not be open with others about my life. People need to pry to get anything out of me. I just rather not be vulnerable because that means someone knows apart of me that I may not even accept myself. They hold this piece that I cannot hold on my own. Hopefully they can bear with me and understand me, or even can relate to me because they have been through it before. What I have learned is that people will never be enough. People can there for a moment, but can never understand me how God does. God knows my heart, when I fall, and when I rise. People only know when I share with them, if I do. Vulnerability definitely speaks vulnerability, but there have been times when people were vulnerable and I just walked away with that piece of them. “To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behaviour and perverse speech.” —Proverbs 8:13. God wants us to be humble, he created us to be humble because he knows thats what we need.

Is it prideful to say I have nothing to confess? Yes. I am a flawed human being and so is everyone else, but God blesses the humble. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” —Proverbs 11:2. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” —1 John 1:8-9

Everyday I need to remind myself, I am not perfect, nor am I expected to be perfect. I need to confess daily and humbly accept the fact that I am not perfect and be okay with that. I am not here to please anyone except God and he knows I sin. People don’t always.The amazing thing is that God loves people despite the fact they fall. His grace is abounding. The only thing we have to do is be humble towards him. In Proverbs he says, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me” (8:17). https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sy19X0xxrM

[lisajsparkman]

This article helps me understand myself and my personality a little bit more...

25 Struggles Only INFPs Will Understand:

By Beau Autin

1. Literally crying after being around people for an extended period of time.

2. Intensely caring about other people but being overwhelmed by their company simultaneously.

3. People constantly mistaking you for an extravert because you act goofy to cover up the fact that crowds make you impossibly uncomfortable.

4. Saying something out loud while with other people that strays about 4 trains of thought from what they were talking about.

5. In the middle of creating something revolutionary, and realizing it’s sundown and you haven’t eaten all day.

6. Being actually shy, but too afraid of being rude to not talk to someone who strikes up a conversation with you.

7. Assuming the completely wrong date/time/activity because you never thought to look at the schedule.

8. Wanting to be wild and party like everyone else but never being invited out because you’re too afraid to be vulnerable and make actual friends.

9. Did I mention perceiving the best in everyone and everything? I promise if you look past the foam and gnarling teeth of that rabid pit bull it has a good spirit, deep down.

10. Being such good listener that you feel like everyone who calls you a friend just keeps you around for free counseling sessions.

11. Loving alone time but at the same time hating that it makes you have to process emotions.

12. Being the one to whom all of his coworkers come to complain about each other.

13. Having an imagination so vivid that you misinterpret a text message without a period to mean the sender is irreparably angry with you.

14. Being the one who always apologizes, even though you think the other person is egregiously wrong.

15. Having steadfast beliefs, but no courage to say anything about them to anyone who happens to challenge them.

16. Everyone thinking you’re a freak of nature or depressed when you decide to spend long periods locked in your room. I’m fine, I’m just writing a song. I’ll be out in 4 days.

17. Wanting to respond to a message, but too afraid of how to say something as to not break  the other person’s fragile heart.

18. Identifying as male, but possessing every personality quality that would be deemed the opposite of masculine.

19. Turning even a superficial conversation with a stranger into a deep metaphor that reflects the greater meaning of life.

20. Wondering if you have no soul because you didn’t laugh out loud at something that everyone else in the room found hilarious.

21. Feeling too guilty to not give the homeless man on the street the last dollar in your wallet, even though you don’t even have a clue how you will pay your rent this month.

22. Finally telling someone your dreamy unrealistic ideas and then having them inevitably poke a hole in every logic flaw, crushing your tender spirit.

23. Having a really great idea, bringing it to life, realizing no one would care, then giving up on it.

24. Laughing like a fool in public (often in a serious setting) because you remembered something funny.

25. Despite all the lip you get for being overly an sensitive, shy, free spirit with his head in the clouds, knowing you wouldn’t change a thing because the personality type website said you were 4% of the population, and that makes you freakin’ special. 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/beau-autin/2014/11/25-struggles-only-infps-will-understand/

[lisajsparkman]

Prayer

I met a girl today that told me the only person she had to hangout with was herself. It made me realize first of all how blessed my life is knowing how many people I have that are there for me. I also learned that there are people who are lonely, and that made me sad. Sad to know that their are people in this world who don’t have a friend to talk to about their problems and to teach them right from wrong. This girl told me horrifying things I couldn't believe. So disturbing that I almost did not believe her. Harassment is something I just thought happened to other people, never in my circle. I learned today people get harassed by individuals and they don’t see it as wrong. I learned today it’s hard for people to say “no.” How can one not see the hurt that is destroying them? I think it’s because they just don’t know the truth. The truth that they are worth more than they can ever imagine. Or they know the truth but just don’t believe it. The good news is, this girl told me she was going to work on saying no. Saying no to the lies that come from the world that tell her to give in and please others. I pray she can overcome this giant.