lilyolks - Tumblr blog

lilyolks · 4 years

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This is my first collage on SCP-2030. :)

I tried.

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lilyolks · 4 years

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Reblog if you support asexuals and aren’t a COWARD

RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!

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lilyolks · 4 years

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Chapter five of Laugh is Laconic is now up, just in case y'all wanna get spicy with Laughy Mclaugherson.

#fanfiction #wattpad #fanfic #scp fanfiction #scp 2030 #scp stuff #laughy mclaugherson #x reader #scp 2030-1 #gore fanfiction

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lilyolks · 4 years

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Since you guys liked the last one so much, heres a part 2 of what you can do when you’re understimulated. Tactile: -shaving your face or your legs and touching the smooth skin -brushing your hair -putting on some heavy/cold jewlery -putting on makeup (especially powder fondation and blush) -washing your face/splashing water in your face -putting a heating pad on your back or feet -putting a cold/hot wet towel on your forhead -doing sexual activities (I know this is not for everyone but its still a good way to get a lot of sensory input at once) -putting your (clean) hands in a bag of dry rice or pasta Auditory: -dumping some salt in your hands and rubbing it on your palm with you fingers -putting on a show while doing something else -sitting near a clock and focusing on it (bonus: getting two clocks that are a few milliseconds appart and focusing on the sound) -getting a small and holow object (tupperware, shell, cup) and putting it on your ear to “hear the ocean” -listening to some rain and thunderstorm sounds (can be found on youtube and spotify) -sitting right next to an outlet that has a lot of electronics plugged into it and listening to the electricity -holding a tissue by two corners between your thumbs and pointer fingers and shaking it (super great sound 10/10) -shaking a plastic rapper -cracking your knuckles -putting your hands on your ears and humming Olfactory (smell): -washing your sheets and burying yourself in them as soon as they comme out of the dryer -putting on some perfume -smelling one of those car air fresheners (be careful because those are really powerful) -taking a sniff of each of the spices in your spice cabinet -smelling fresh ground up coffee beans -smelling your books (this is one of my favorite scent) -buying scented crayons Gustatory (taste)/oral: -putting your mouth on stuff (Ciramic mugs, metal ustensils, plastic cups, ect. The world of oral stim is yours to discover) (this was suggested by @blobking) -munching on dry pasta -chewing gum -moving around your tongue and your mouth and making silly noises and sensations -getting those trendy tiktok popping fruit jelly candy (those are fucking great, as gustatory AND oral stim) -bitting into a lemon -eating/licking a lolipop -making salt dough (also can be both gustatory and oral, or could also be a tactile stim) Visual: -playing a simple and colorful game on your phone -watching a candle, a match or a lighter -looking at your hands while you’re stimming with them -applying makeup (especially bright eyeshadow and lipstick) while looking at your face in the mirror and actively focusing -reading a graphic novel or a children’s book -drawing something -coloring something -putting some clear glue on your hand and pealing it when it dries (could also be a tactile stim) -watering your plant(s) -doing a puzzle Vestibular/proprioceptive: -putting one or multiple books on your head and trying to walk while balancing them -spinning while holding a heavy object and moving your hands up and down slowly to feel the pull of the object -doing a cartwheel -getting upside down in a handstand or putting your body on the edge or your bed and letting your head dangle -trying to walk on an imaginary thin line by putting one foot in front of the other (bonus: tape a line on the floor) -rocking your head and torso back and forth really fast (go as low as you can when moving forward, like you are trying to dry your hair) (be careful because this one can make you dizzy or give you a headache real fast) -riding your bike (bonus if you go really fast to feel the wind or if you go in circles and loops) -tightening all the muscles in your body and holding it for a few second before relaxing -inhaling by filling up your belly, your rib cage and then your chest, and then exhaling by emptying your belly, your rib cage and then your chest. doing it again and again (this is also a super great technique for calming anxiety or falling asleep faster)

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lilyolks · 4 years

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I hate living without a sure diagnosis so fucking much.

I went to see psychiatrist once, a long while ago, and I wanted to get evaluated for ADHD/ASD (along with anxiety and depression). I was told that they couldn’t do that.

I know that I function differently than my peers (for lack of better words).

My peers don’t shutdown in the middle of science class. My peers don’t have a meltdown during pep rallies. My peers don’t stim or tic. My peers don’t struggle to speak nor use sounds rather than clear words to communicate for simple questions. My peers don’t start panicking in social situations nor struggle to hold eye contact. My peers have so many interests while I can’t get into anything outside of Star Trek or Marvel. My peers aren’t in pain when they are surrounded by loud noises.

I’ve taken online tests (I know they aren’t truthworthy, but I needed to know if ASD was something I should look into) and watched videos and read about autism from autistic people and psychiatrists.

I know that there is a good chance I fall somewhere on the autism spectrum at the higher functioning end, but I can’t be sure. I can’t get an evaluation because my guardians either don’t believe me when I talk about my mental health or “don’t believe” in mental disorders or think because my psychiatrist said that they couldn’t test for it means I don’t have it.

Which means I can’t tell people why I’m stimming or ticing or why I‘m panicking while no one else is because I don’t have a diagnosis. And no matter how sure I am of being on the spectrum, I’m terrified to tell people because what if I’m not? What if this is something else? What if I‘m just being paranoid/too assuming and don’t fall on the spectrum? Wouldn’t my parents or doctors or teachers have noticed when I was younger?

I’m even scared to post this. What if I offend people who have ASD? What if people with ASD read this and it’s clear I don’t have ASD and I just did something stupid?

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lilyolks · 4 years

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True stories in autism

AUTISTIC PERSON: If I do something that impacts upon you negatively, please just be honest with me about it. It’s the only way I can really learn.

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: No problem! But you’re like, my BFF, so there’s no way you could do anything wrong in my eyes!

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Autistic person unintentionally does something that annoys/upsets/offends neurotypical person. Neurotypical person passively aggressively avoids all contact with them for an indefinite period.

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AUTISTIC PERSON: Hey, is everything OK? I haven’t heard from you in a while.

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Neurotypical person takes a day or so to respond.

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NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: Everything’s fine. I’m just busy.

AUTISTIC PERSON: OK. If it’s anything I did, I’m really sorry. I meant it when I said you could be totally upfront and honest with me. I want to be a good friend to you, so if there’s something that’s bothering you, know that you can tell me without recrimination.

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: You didn’t do anything. I’m just busy.

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Friendship resumes, albeit with less enthusiasm on the NT’s part. Autistic person keeps feelings about NT’s behavior past and present to themselves, tries to reign in their autistic behavior wherever possible, supports NT when they’re in need emotionally and financially, all to complete absence of gratitude from NT.

Autistic person again unintentionally does something that annoys/upsets/offends neurotypical person. Neurotypical person again passively aggressively avoids all contact with them for an indefinite period, longer this time.

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AUTISTIC PERSON: Hey, is everything OK? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Truly, if I’ve done something that upset you, please tell me so we can resolve it. I value your friendship, and it’s never my intention to make you unhappy.

Neurotypical person responds very quickly.

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: I don’t mean to be mean, but you know what? You’re too much. I just can’t take it anymore.

AUTISTIC PERSON: I’m sorry. What did I do?

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: Oh for crying out loud. Stop using your autism as an excuse for how you behave. I know plenty of other autistic people and none of them act like you. How old are you, yet you still refuse to behave like an adult. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Have you ever considered that the reason you’ve lost so many friends is because YOU are the problem?

AUTISTIC PERSON: –name redacted– really, I’m sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. Please just tell me what I did. I love you and I want to work this out.

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: Stop behaving like you’re oblivious to your own actions. Own them. Learn from them. Change. That’s what decent, responsible adults do. Even autistic ones.

AUTISTIC PERSON: –name redacted– I wouldn’t lie to you. I honestly don’t know what it was I did. I really am sorry. If you could just tell me, you don’t know how much I would appreciate it.

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: No! Quit grovelling–it makes you look weak.

AUTISTIC PERSON: I really don’t understand what’s going on. What do you want me to swear on to prove it?

NEUROTYPICAL PERSON: Stop it! Get out of your persecution complex mode. Stop playing so hard done by. This is on you. You keep saying you want to learn from your mistakes, but you evidently don’t. You don’t want to change and you don’t want to improve; you just want to live in your little bubble of “I’m right because I’m autsitic!”. If people don’t like you it’s your own goddamn fault. WAKE THE HELL UP AND LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD. I’ve put up with you for as long as I can, and I just cannot, cannot, deal with this. I can’t help you anymore. Consider yourself blocked. Do not try to contact me again.

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True stories in autism…even the well into adulthood kind.

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lilyolks · 4 years

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