lifeslines

[lifeslines]

i feel bad that i mostly only come back here every few weeks or so to explain that why i’m away and all, but i think i have to do that again. i’m really sorry but things aren’t going well anymore like i thought they were and i can hardly focus on anything, and i don’t want to put out writing that i’m not trying my best on. i really, really want to write and work on my characters again but it just isn’t in me right now. i’m really sorry

[lifeslines]

ateworlds‌:

        mira’s hold on cal loosens enough so he can twist around in their arms, though he doesn’t say a thing. they look down at him and nod, seeming almost ashamed that they hadn’t told siri, of all their siblings, about cal. there’s a tiny sigh from cal, the real only sound he’s made so far.

            ❝ well, everyone thinks he’s a big dog, so he usually looks like one? but it’s like mom b'cause he gets tired from holding that form for so long. ❞

   siri inches back a little further just to prove that they won’t do anything, their hands falling to their lap. they understood why mira didn’t tell them, they guessed, but they still would have liked to have found out sooner... or intentionally. they didn’t mind this way, though-- as is proven by the faint lingering smile they have as they nod. 

       “i get it? i’ve just-- never seen him like this. it surprised me, ‘s’all.”

[lifeslines]

ateworlds‌:

        oh, mira knows. there was a very subtle snap to the air when caliban shifted forms, something very different from when coin turns into a shadow or a bear. cal knows not to leave mira’s room when he’s in his more comfortable form, but siblings are unpredictable as they come. they try not to let it show, their anxiety at the thought of someone taking cal away or making him leave, but it’s hard to miss the way mira’s eyes edge away from pale gold to more sun yellow.

             ❝ gonna tell on me? b'cause i thought cal was a doll when i bought him a long time ago an’ he wasn’t? ❞

   siri watches cal for a few moments before they register the anxiety in mira’s voice. they look back to their sibling’s face and lean back slightly, shaking their head. they felt bad that their overwhelming curiosity had worried the demon, so they do try to reel it back in. still, hearing that what they were looking at was cal caught them by surprise. 

       “that’s-- really cal? ----and no, mira, ‘course i won’t tell on you? i love you guys, i won’t get you in any trouble.”

[lifeslines]

ateworlds‌:

        they know what trying to distract siri from caliban, now that he doesn’t look like a big dog. mira knows that there’s a weird energy that radiates from cal, some mix between ghostly and eldritch, courtesy of whatever lies under his disguise. the demon sits up, immediately reaching for cal so they can hold him to their chest like he’s a stuffed animal and not something alive. at least he’s not squirming, considering he’s not used to people just seeing him as an eight inch creature.

              ❝ what’s up, starbird? ❞

   their eyes narrow as soon as mira snatches cal up in their arms but their smile remains, no matter how skeptical the alien still is. they stay in their spot barely in the room for a moment before tapping their finger against their leg a few times. siri turns and shuts the door quietly-- now officially having invited themself into mira’s room for a while. they sit at the opposite end of mira’s bed, facing them with their legs crossed right in front of them. they lean forward and nod towards cal. 

       “you know that i can feel it, right? how we all just sort of know things?” 

[lifeslines]

ateworlds‌:

@lifeslines!!

        mira’s stretched out on their bed, busy taking a doll apart so they can fix it up and give it a more modern look, caliban curled up in a way so his head is resting on their hip. they don’t even look when cal’s shape changes from a very tall dog to an eight inch tall rag doll-esque pikachu. though, their door opens more and mira can feel cal’s flinch where he’s leaning against their leg. they try and play it off, even if cal isn’t the oddest thing in the house.

            ❝ hey, ❞

   after being in their room drawing for several hours in a row, siri finally felt like socializing again. they were fairly certain mira was still awake since everyone in the house was up at odd hours, so they stopped in to bother them for a bit. one knock opened the door most of the way and honestly, siri might not have even noticed cal for another minute if they hadn’t seen him move. they thought maybe it was something for mira’s doll, honestly.  they stare, eyebrows up as high as they can go as their eyes don’t move away from caliban. there’s an odd expression on their face other than that until they finally blink it away and look at mira. they smile and take a few steps into the room. after they greet them, siri points straight to cal, clearly waiting for an explanation.

       “hi!”

[lifeslines]

[lifeslines]

You really think he’s gonna cooperate?

[lifeslines]

Oscar Isaac on Late Night with Seth Meyers

[lifeslines]

“ i did what i had to do. " del @ wormy bye

          miscellaneous sentences

   the angel stares at their daughter for what seems like an eternity as they try to decipher what she could possibly mean. it didn’t feel fair to be someone who had said so many vague things over the years just like that to now have their children saying them– but they guess they deserved that. wormy moves their gaze down to the floor now and sighs. they weren’t about to be confrontational with delilah of all of their children (they’d never admit it, but she was possibly the one they trusted the judgment of most). 

       they tap their foot a few times before going over to del and taking one of her hands gently. they squeeze it lightly twice before nodding, trying to hide how resigned they seem as they do. it didn’t feel very parental to them to be giving up so easily, but it wasn’t like they were an expert at it anyway– even four children later. 

   the smile wormwood offers is emotionless: clearly only a gesture to go along with the words that they did actually mean. 

       “i believe you, baby.” 

[lifeslines]

TK Strand + hoodies

[lifeslines]

lijah can know exactly how it feels about something or someone but honestly have no idea how to communicate it and that really frustrates it. it always tries very hard when it comes to communication because it knows it isn’t the best at it, but it still struggles a lot. it only ever gets upset with itself though because it knows it is the one not conveying what it needs to and that it isn’t anyone else’s fault. when this happens it’s pretty easy to spot because lijah gets pretty antsy and most notably wrings its hands over and over more than showing and other physical signs. it will try to explain itself for a while-- mostly talking in circles before it gives up and feels embarrassed (this, too, is apparent with the way it won’t look anyone in the face for a while afterwards and distances itself from people as well).

[lifeslines]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

[lifeslines]

in the springtime i feel little flowers grow in my heart too

[lifeslines]

wormwood has shown multiple signs of ptsd and even though they’ve been told in the past that they show signs of it or should look into finding a therapist, they’ve been very opposed to the idea and never have. 

[lifeslines]

Ronen Rubinstein as Tyler Kennedy “T.K.” Strand 9-1-1: Lone Star

[lifeslines]

' shh. settle down. it’s over. you’re fine. ' paisley @ isaac?

       the war i finally won

   thankfully for isaac, once he wakes up, he doesn’t really remember his dreams. it’s something new that’s started happening and he’s glad for it since most of his dreams are things he’s already lived through once and doesn’t want to experience again. 

          unfortunately, this doesn’t really spare everyone else from it. like now, as he’s curling his hands into fists and turning away from paisley in bed, mumbling a name that the half-angel might not even recognize if it was repeated to him later on.

   another shallow breath ushers in a smack from isaac’s hand that ultimately hits the nightstand beside him– something that will certainly have his knuckles feeling sore later on. it’s a few moments after this that he finally wakes up. 

          he only catches the end of what paisley says as he wakes up, eventually able to control his own arms so they aren’t flailing around so much. isaac is glad that he wasn’t facing paisley and didn’t hit him in his sleep, since he probably would have stayed up all night apologizing to him for it.  

   isaac shakes his head and clenches his hands into fists as he tries to make sense of what paisley has said. after a minute, he understands and lets out a sigh. he turns over slowly and nudges paisley’s shoulder with his nose. 

          “i– i’m sorry. did i– uhm…” isaac can’t quite meet paisley’s eyes at first. he glances up but can’t keep his gaze for long, feeling guilty as his eyes fall back to his nails now. it felt easier, but now isaac wasn’t so sure. he kisses paisley’s shoulder after all of the reassurance and nods. 

   “thank you, baby.”

[lifeslines]

OSCAR ISAAC in INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS 2013 | dir. Ethan Coen, Joel Coen