lifebydesign66

[lifebydesign66]

Have you ever felt invisible, like your feelings didn’t matter? 💔

Having emotionally unavailable parents or partners often goes unnoticed and it can leave lasting scars on how we see ourselves and connect with others.

Swipe through to learn: ✨ What emotional neglect is ✨ How it can show up in your life ✨ The impact it has on your self-worth ✨ And the good news, healing is possible

You deserve to be seen, heard, and valued.

If you would like to know more about emotional neglect and how it affects you, check out my blog - How Growing Up with Emotionally Unavailable Parents Still Affects You And How to Heal. You can find the link to read in my bio!

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Self-Awareness

🛑 Do you find yourself pushing people away even when you want them close? 🛑

Fear of abandonment can show up in ways you might not even realize, often keeping you in a cycle of worry and self-protection. Here’s what it might look like:

Needing constant reassurance: You frequently seek validation from loved ones, fearing they might leave if you’re not “good enough” or if things feel uncertain.

Struggling to trust, even when it’s earned: Even with safe and reliable people, you find it hard to let your guard down. You might assume they’ll eventually let you down or leave.

Feeling panicked over small changes: A delayed text, a different tone, or a canceled plan can feel like rejection, triggering intense anxiety or overthinking.

Sabotaging relationships: You might test people’s loyalty or push them away, believing it’s better to end things on your terms than risk being abandoned.

Here’s the truth, these behaviors don’t make you unworthy of love, they’re survival strategies your mind and body developed to cope with past hurt. and healing is possible. 💛

With tools like self-awareness, compassion, and therapy, you can learn to trust, feel secure, and build the stable connections you deserve.

If this feels familiar to you and you would like support on your journey, our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy are here. If you’re in California and would like to work with us, click the link in our bio to schedule a free phone consultation with our Coordinator today!

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Online and In-Person Sessions

Life can be full of highs and lows, and sometimes, it can feel like your body is carrying the weight of it all.

Rachel is here to remind you that you don’t have to navigate this alone, and your body holds the key to healing.

Rachel has a deep passion for supporting young adults and students who are feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or out of touch with themselves.

Through a somatic approach, she creates a space where you can reconnect with your body, process stored emotions, and build tools to feel more grounded and resilient.

With warmth and compassion, Rachel helps you tune into your body’s signals, explore your challenges with curiosity, and uncover your inner strength.

Whether you’re working through anxiety, self-doubt, or life transitions, Rachel will meet you where you are, emotionally and physically, and walk with you toward growth, healing, and self-discovery.

Rachel is offering online and in-person sessions at our Berkeley office, just down the street from UC Berkeley!

✨ You deserve to feel at home in your body and empowered in your life. Ready to take the next step?

Reach out today and begin your journey toward connection, healing, and growth.

[lifebydesign66]

Seasonal Affective Disorder Therapy in Berkeley

Is it just the winter blues, or could it be something more?

If winter is leaving you feeling drained, unmotivated, or unusually low, you might be experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It’s more than just “winter blues”—it’s a form of depression triggered by seasonal changes.

✨ Signs of SAD to Watch For:

Low mood or persistent sadness that’s hard to shake.

Loss of interest in things you enjoy, even your favorite winter activities.

Changes in sleep patterns, like oversleeping or struggling to wake up.

Low energy or fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest.

Cravings for carbs and significant weight changes.

Difficulty focusing or staying motivated.

Feeling isolated or withdrawn from friends and loved ones.

✨ What Can Help?

Try light therapy to mimic natural sunlight.

Move your body daily, even with gentle activity.

Stick to a consistent sleep schedule.

Talk to a trusted friend, counselor, or doctor about how you’re feeling.

SAD can feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Recognizing the signs is the first step toward getting the support and care you deserve. 🌟

If you would like to learn more about SAD and the Winter Blues, check out my blog - Winter Blues or Seasonal Depression? How to Tell the Difference and Find Relief.

You can find the link to read in my bio!

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🙄 How To Communicate Your Anxiety So People Will Understand🙄 

Have you ever experienced challenges when it comes to communicating your anxiety to others? 

While difficult at times, communicating about your anxiety to others can have numerous benefits. Firstly, sharing your feelings helps you receive emotional support and reassurance, reminding you that you're not alone and that caring individuals are there for you. Expressing your anxiety also validates your emotions, easing self-judgment and providing comfort.

💝Are you in California and Interested in Starting Therapy? Schedule A Free Therapy Phone Consultation ➡️ https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/youtube

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Professional Tips by Therapist for Mental Health

Did you know you can be kind and compassionate without sacrificing your boundaries?

🚨 If you’re a “people pleaser,” this might surprise you! 🚨

It can be tough, especially if people-pleasing behaviors started as a way to cope with emotionally unavailable parents.

Living with emotionally unavailable parents might have looked like: 👉🏽 Inconsistent behavior and high expectations. 👉🏽 Only being praised when you were compliant or “easy.” 👉🏽 Learning that love was something you had to earn through actions. 👉🏽 Feeling like you had to keep the peace or avoid being a burden. 👉🏽 Receiving attention only when you achieve something impressive.

The truth? You don’t have to live this way anymore.

You are worthy of love and validation exactly as you are. 💕

Ready to explore the roots of people-pleasing and how to break free? Click the link in my bio to read the latest blog: Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors.

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Mental Health Therapy Services

Do you ever feel like your worth is tied to keeping others happy or meeting their expectations?

If you’ve ever found yourself putting others’ needs ahead of your own, sometimes to your own detriment, you’re not alone.

People-pleasing often takes root in childhood, especially when love, attention, or approval were conditional.

✨ You might be a people pleaser if:

You were only shown attention when you achieved something: You may have learned that success or accomplishments were the only way to feel seen or valued.

You were praised only when you were compliant and did what you were told: Instead of being encouraged to express your needs or opinions, you might have felt like you had to follow the rules to earn approval.

You felt responsible for keeping your parent in a good mood: When you grow up feeling like it’s your job to manage someone else’s emotions, you learn to suppress your own to avoid conflict.

You were taught that you needed to “do something for others” to be loved and validated: You may have been conditioned to believe your value lies in what you can provide for others rather than simply being yourself.

Your parents were inconsistent and had high expectations: When love or validation feels unpredictable, you may overcompensate by trying to meet impossible standards to gain approval.

What is the impact of this? Over time, you might find yourself prioritizing others’ needs while losing sight of your own identity and desires. You might struggle with setting boundaries, fear rejection, or feel guilty when you try to prioritize yourself.

Here’s the good news: This isn’t your fault, and it’s not permanent.

These patterns were learned as a way to survive emotionally challenging environments, but you can unlearn them.

Healing starts with

Recognizing these behaviors as survival mechanisms, not personality flaws.

Learning to reconnect with your own needs and emotions.

Setting boundaries that honor your well-being, even when it feels uncomfortable at first.

Exploring the deeper roots of these patterns with a therapist who can provide a safe and supportive space to heal.

You don’t have to earn love. You don’t have to prove your worth. You deserve to be seen, valued, and accepted, just as you are.

Learn more about how people pleasing can stem from emotional neglect, how it affects your life and how to heal in my latest blog - Why Emotional Neglect Can Lead to People Pleasing Behaviors. Link in bio!

[lifebydesign66]

Parenting Advise and Therapy

Have you ever felt like you’re carrying invisible baggage from your childhood like patterns, feelings, or struggles you can’t quite explain?

Maybe you’ve even caught yourself wondering, “Why do I struggle to feel seen or heard in my relationships?” Or “Why do I struggle to ask for help or trust others?”

If these thoughts resonate, you’re not alone.

In my latest blog I discuss signs of growing up with emotionally unavailable parents, how that may be affecting your life, and how to heal. You can find the link to read in my bio!

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Stress Therapy in Richmond CA

Ever feel like the stress at work is too much, but you don’t have time to step away?

Workplace stress can sneak up on you, leaving you overwhelmed and unfocused.

But I have a secret for you! Even a few moments of calm can make a huge difference in your stress levels.

✨ Here’s Why Taking a Pause Matters: Grounding yourself throughout the day isn’t just nice, it’s essential for balancing your mental and emotional wellbeing. It can help you:

Clear your mind and reduce overwhelm.

Stay productive without burning out.

Handle challenges with more ease and calm.

💡 That’s why I created this free guide: 20 Calming Desk Activities. It’s packed with quick, practical ways to reset your mind and body right at your desk.

✨ Ready to feel more centered?

Download it now in the link in our bio and take your first step toward calmer, more focused workdays. You’ve got this. 🌟

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Depression Counseling in Berkeley

Does winter ever feel like it’s weighing on your body as much as your mind; tense muscles, low energy, or a constant sense of heaviness?

Seasonal depression (SAD) isn’t just about feeling low; it’s a full-body experience. Your body can carry the weight of emotions, and reflecting somatically, by paying attention to your physical sensations, can help you find relief.

✨ Why Reflect Somatically? When you’re stuck in the heaviness of SAD, tuning into your body can:

Increase Awareness: Notice how stress or sadness is showing up physically (like a tight jaw or slumped posture).

Encourage Release: Gentle movement or rest can help release stored tension.

Ground You in the Present: Connecting with your body pulls you out of your mind’s spiral and into the here and now.

✨ How to Get Started 1️⃣ Pause and Check In: Take a moment to notice your breath. Is it shallow or deep? How does your body feel? 2️⃣ Try Gentle Movement: Stretch, take a short walk, or practice yoga to release tension and improve circulation. 3️⃣ Practice Body-Soothing Rituals: Wrap up in a cozy blanket, sip on warm tea, or use a heating pad to offer your body comfort.

Your body is always speaking, especially in seasons of struggle. By listening and responding with care, you can create small moments of relief and resilience during the winter months. 🌟

Use these reflection questions to start your journey!

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Therapist Tips

If you’re naturally a caretaker it can be so easy to tie your worth to what you do for others.

But I want you to know that you are worthy just for being YOU.

If you feel like this might be you, here are four ways to start reconnecting with your own value and build a sense of self-worth that doesn't depend on always giving to others:

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend, with compassion and with understanding. It's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to take breaks. You deserve the same love and care you give to others.

Explore New Hobbies: Find activities that light you up and bring joy without the pressure of performance. Whether it’s painting, hiking, or learning a new skill, doing something for yourself helps you reconnect with your unique passions and strengths.

Engage in Self-Reflection: Take time to pause and reflect on who you are, what you value, and what makes you feel fulfilled. Journaling or meditation can help you connect with your inner voice and understand your true needs.

Set & Achieve Personal Goals: Set goals that are about YOU, and not what others expect from you. Whether big or small, accomplishing something that is purely for your own growth is a powerful reminder of your capabilities and your worth.

Remember, your worth isn’t determined by how much you give, but by the love and respect you show to yourself. 💖

If you would like to learn more ways to heal from over giving, check out my blog - How to Support Other’s Without Loosing Yourself! The link in is my bio!

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Life by Design Therapy

What if I told you that you don’t have to do anything to be worthy of rest, especially in the midst of grief?

I know that when we’re grieving, it can feel like there’s this constant pressure to move on, to do something, to find a way to "fix" the pain.

But here’s something I’ve learned… sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is simply be, without the need to push forward or pretend we’re okay.

In the midst of grief, giving yourself permission to just be with your emotions, to sit in the quiet, and to feel what you're feeling is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself.

You don't have to have all the answers or make progress every day. You deserve the space to just be.

If you’re reading this, comment below and give those who are grieving some love and encouragement.💚

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6 Ways to Say No

Calling all Caretakers! 📢

I know that setting boundaries can be difficult when you’re an over giver.

However, setting boundaries is one of the most powerful acts of self-care you can practice.

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re about protecting your energy and ensuring that your needs are respected (yes, your needs matter)

When you don’t set boundaries, you might find yourself feeling drained, overwhelmed, or resentful.

However, when you establish boundaries you create space for balance, self-respect, and healthier relationships.

Here’s why boundaries are so important:

Protect Your Energy: Setting boundaries helps you conserve your emotional and physical energy, ensuring you can give to others without burning out.

Respect Your Needs: Boundaries are a way of honoring your own desires, whether that means saying no to something or taking time for yourself. You matter, and your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.

Encourage Healthy Relationships: When you establish clear boundaries, it fosters respect and understanding in your relationships. People learn how to treat you, and you create space for healthier, more balanced connections.

Promote Self-Worth: Setting boundaries is a powerful way to affirm your value. When you set limits, you’re saying, "I deserve respect, time, and care."

Boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're used to putting others first, but the more you practice them, the easier it gets. 💖

If you would like more tips on ensuring your needs are met, check out my blog - How to Support Others Without Losing Yourself!

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Self Care Tips

If you’re someone who naturally takes on the role of caretaker, then you need to read this!

Do you find it’s easy to lose track of where your needs end and others’ begin?

To be honest, maybe you don’t even realize you’re giving more than you should until it starts to feel overwhelming or draining.

If you’re tired of that cycle then becoming aware of the signs is the first step to healing!

Here are some signs that you might be over giving, and it's time to start honoring your own needs:

You’re Always Putting Others Before Yourself: You say “yes” even when you're stretched thin. Remember it’s okay to put your own needs first sometimes.

Your Self-Worth is Tied to Helping: If you only feel valued when you’re needed, it can be hard to feel whole when you’re not actively giving. I want you to know that you are enough just as you are.

You Fear Being Unneeded: When you're not in a caretaking role, you might feel anxious or empty. Please know your worth isn't dependent on being constantly "on call."

Setting Boundaries Feels Impossible: Saying “no” feels hard, and you worry about disappointing others. Boundaries are essential for your well-being, and it’s okay to enforce them.

You Feel Responsible for Others' Emotions: It’s natural to care, but you shouldn’t carry the weight of others’ feelings. You can’t fix everything, and it’s not your responsibility to keep everyone happy.

If you’re noticing these patterns, it’s important to take a step back and check in with yourself.

You deserve to care for yourself with the same love and energy you give others. 🌿 Taking care of you is not selfish. It’s necessary. 💖

If you would like to learn more about how to heal from over giving, check out the blog!

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Expert Advice from Therapists

The holiday season can be such a mix of emotions—joy, nostalgia, and sometimes... let’s be honest, a little stress.

While it’s a time to reconnect with loved ones, it can also bring up old tensions, unmet expectations, or the weight of keeping up with traditions.

That’s why taking a moment for self-reflection can be a game-changer.

It helps you tune into what you need, so you can set boundaries that make the season feel a little lighter and a lot more meaningful.

So why does self-reflection matter?

Helps you understand your needs

Clarifies your values

Supports with avoiding burnout

Why are boundaries important (especially during the holidays)??

They preserve your mental health

They help build and maintain healthy relationships

They support you with staying true with what matters most to you.

Setting boundaries during the holidays is not about being rigid or unkind; it’s about showing up for yourself in the most compassionate way.

By engaging in self-reflection, you empower yourself to create a holiday season that nurtures your emotional well-being, respects your values, and deepens your connection with loved ones, on your terms.

If you would like to learn more about how to manage the pressures of the holidays, check out my blog - 7 Tips for Managing Conflicts During the Holidays!

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Best Depression Counseling Near Me

Feeling like the winter blues are taking over? You’re not alone, and you’re not powerless.

When Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) hits, even simple tasks can feel overwhelming. That’s where a routine can be your secret weapon! Here’s how it can help you navigate the season:

1. Provides Stability In a season that feels chaotic, a routine creates a sense of predictability and balance.

2. Encourages Motivation Small, consistent habits build momentum, making it easier to stay engaged and active.

3. Reduces Overwhelm Routines remove decision fatigue, helping you focus on what truly matters.

4. Promotes Mental Clarity By grounding your day in structure, you create space for clearer thinking and better focus.

5. Cultivates Emotional Resilience With each small win, you build strength to face challenges with greater confidence.

The key? Start small. Whether it’s a daily walk, consistent meal times, or morning journaling, every step you take is a step toward feeling more in control. 🌟

Comment below some of the things in your routine!

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Grief Therapy in Richmond

Have you ever noticed how grief shows up in your body—tight shoulders, a heavy chest, or even a knotted stomach?

Grief isn’t just something we feel emotionally, it lives in our bodies, too. Tight shoulders, an unsettled stomach, or a racing heart can all be signs that grief is speaking through us physically. That’s why somatic reflection is such a powerful tool for healing.

✨ Why Reflect Somatically? Grief can sometimes feel “stuck” when we focus only on our thoughts. By tuning into the body, we:

Learn to notice where grief is being held physically.

Create space for feelings to flow, rather than stay trapped.

Develop a deeper connection to ourselves and our healing process.

✨ How to Begin

Pause and Breathe: Take a few deep breaths and notice how your body feels in the moment.

Scan Your Body: Gently check in from head to toe. Are there any areas of tension, warmth, or discomfort?

Move or Rest: Let your body guide you. Maybe you need gentle movement, stretching, or simply stillness to process what you’re feeling.

Grief is a full-body experience. By giving attention to both your emotions and your physical sensations, you create space for healing to unfold in its own way, one moment at a time. 🌟

Use these reflection questions to start your journey!