life-on-the-spectrum

[life-on-the-spectrum]

And here we go again for 2024!!!! Except we just moved back to the US, so we're inviting my in-laws to celebrate with us!

My husband and I HATE Valentine’s Day, because we don’t do romance. So we celebrate a new holiday: Jeff Goldblum Day!

It started a couple of years ago as a joke. We were sick to death of our single friends swooning at us over Valentine’s Day and asking us what romantic garbage we were planning to do, because OF COURSE married people have to be romantic every February, right? 

Except we don’t. The husband and I are just best friends who sleep together, and we did the papework because it was convenient. We don’t do that flowers and chocolates shit. Our idea of “romance is watching Mythbusters over takeout Chinese and laughing at the explosions, okay? 

So we told our friends, as a joke, that we celebrate Jeff Goldblum Day: the day when everyone is unattached, so we can all appreciate the sexy, hilarious glory that is Jeff Goldblum. All you do is watch Jeff Goldblum movies with your most beloved friends, while munching on half-priced chocolates. Nobody’s married on Jeff Goldblum Day, nor is anyone in love. Our partners are just here with us to watch movies, just like every other friend we have. Aroace friends, this is your holiday too, no one says you have to actually be attracted to him. 

Don’t ask why we chose Jeff Goldblum. We were pulling ideas out of our butts and acting like it was a thing, and that was the first “weird actor everyone knows” that we thought of. This could have just as easily become “Christopher Walken Day.”

Except that everyone came over for Jeff Goldblum Day. And then they did it the folllowing year. And now we’re in Spain introducing all of our friends here to it as well. 

So yeah. Jeff Goldblum Day is next weekend, and I’m formally inviting everyone here to participate in Jeff Goldblum Day with us.

Enjoy the chocolate. 

[life-on-the-spectrum]

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

[life-on-the-spectrum]

I’m 38, and I’m already almost there. Bring on the crazy. 

Forget waiting til I’m old, I want this now.

[life-on-the-spectrum]

This used to be standard operating procedure not even ten years ago: NEVER OUT OTHER QUEERS, even if they’re supposedly already out. Never assume that it’s okay to let third parties know that so-and-so is queer. Ever. You never know when you’ve found the one uncle with the heart condition that they can’t bear to risk telling, or the one neighbor who’s just threatening enough that they don’t mention it around, or even the grandma that they haven’t gotten around to mentioning it to yet. You might have just ruined a very important milestone for someone, or you could have put them at actual risk of harm.

Also... stop freaking assuming. If you don’t see a pride flag on them, please don’t just assume. You can’t tell ANYTHING about a person’s gender or partner preferences by what they’re wearing on any given day, what their hair looks like, or whether or not they’re using makeup. You legit cannot, and you look like a jerk when you try.

Sometimes i feel like younger queer kids are getting a bit to bold with openly talking to people they don’t know In The Context Of:

More than once i have had a younger/same age queer person come up to me in public settings and say something about “finding other gays” or clearly clocking me as nonbinary and I’m like :)))))))) hey buddy I’m here with my conservative parents can you fucking not out me :))))))))

Just say you like my outfit or hair and move on, fuck even tell me you like my shoelaces. Don’t call me gay and limp your wrist at me when you don’t even know me? Especially when there’s a bunch of ppl around?

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Listen, I've had OVER HALF of these, most of them regularly for at least some of my life.

If the answer is multiple, pick one

[life-on-the-spectrum]

I tell people that as long as you write better than E.L. James did, you’re guaranteed to find an audience somewhere. 

Just a little daily affirmation:

You’ll never be worse at writing than the people at the CW. Your writing will always be better than Riverdale and the SPN finale. You are a better writer

[life-on-the-spectrum]

if you ever doubt your writing, be it your themes, or the reason behind it, remember that h.g wells wrote war of the worlds both as a commentary on colonialism and the horrors it brings, and because he fucking hated his neighbours and his 13 hour job, and wanted to write about the town in which he lived getting blasted to the fucking ground by lasers into an irreparable heap and all of the townspeople dying painfully 

you, too, can channel your hatred for that guy that lives down the hall and blasts music at 4am into the one of the most influential science fiction stories ever written! fuck it! i believe in you!!  

[life-on-the-spectrum]

take a knife to bring to the roman senate

reblog for more stabbing

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Reblogging because my infertility diagnosis mysteriously stopped being a tragedy that 90% of my side of the family wouldn’t stop offering solutions for on the same day that my autism diagnosis became public knowledge. 

Friendly reminder that if you support reproductive rights and bodily autonomy but say that disabled people shouldn't have children because they'll pass down their genes which is "cruel" or "abusive", you do not support reproductive rights and bodily autonomy. Reproductive rights do not only concern abortion for cis white abled women.

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Mine was a sapphire, which was cheap and shiny and it worked very well. Got it 15 years ago, it no longer fits my pudgy, pudgy hand, but it works. 

Heres your semiregular reminder that opal is one of the worst possible gemstones for engagement rings and tumblr posts about how pretty opals are and how diamonds are bullshit and we should all wear opal rings are not actually well informed or your friends

[life-on-the-spectrum]

I would watch the shit out of this. 

The urban fantasy show I actually want to see is a hospital drama with a dedicated wing for supernatural illnesses.

Vampirism. Lycanthropy. Cheap spells gone wrong. A woman brought in for her prenatal has to be told her baby is a lindworm. Someone is literally being followed by the anthropomorphic personification of the Black Death.

Someone somewhere out there is having their perception of the world irreparably shattered by the knowledge that magic is real, and at the other side is a team of doctors who have to roll their eyes and pull out Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales because some high school kid tried to go Carrie with a cheap spellbook and turn all the kids at prom into frogs, and the doctors have to wrangle a couple dozen teenagers into admitting if they have a true love who can break the spell.

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Star Trek: The Next Generation // S03E16: The Offspring

[life-on-the-spectrum]

The party ain’t stoppin’ on The Revenge

Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 Song: TiK ToK by Kesha

[life-on-the-spectrum]

SHIT, I want one of these too!

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Every time Admiral Picard or Janeway or anyone connected to them goes missing for five minutes Starfleet panics. Because they know something so dramatic and unhinged is about to happen. If Picard and Janeway are in the same room, all Starfleet knows is fear.

The day they found out Seven was besties with Picard and therefore tying the former Voyager Crew and Enterprise crew together, a bunch of people resigned, moved to distant planets far away, planets who had been at war for centuries signed peace treaties, the universe itself shivered in fear

[life-on-the-spectrum]

[life-on-the-spectrum]

Solidarity with children is often neglected or even made a joke of, so I wanna take a second and tell y'all what I wish I could go back in time and tell myself:

You're right. School is bullshit, homework is bullshit, waking up early is bullshit, going to bed early is bullshit. Some adults are just pointlessly cruel, even those in positions of authority over you. Sometimes adults are wrong, and, in fact, sometimes you are right

You were born with an innate sense of justice and fairness and adults have spent your entire life trying to beat it out of you so you'll shut up and do what you're told in an unjust and unfair society. Don't let them. Many of us have to take effort to relearn the wisdom you have right now, the ability to tell when something is bullshit even if you can't articulate why yet

You deserve happiness, fulfillment, and liberation just as much as any adult. Those first 18 years are just as important as any other time in your life, and it's time you'll never get back. Don't let anyone take them from you just because you're too young to fight back

Question everything, and never take "that's just the way it is" as an answer. Sometimes when things don't make sense to you it's because they just don't make any goddamn sense

Pick your battles, and be strategic. Don't take this post as permission to go starting fights for no reason. But remember that you have worth, and our society tends to not respect that. And you're right: that is bullshit

(also, read Anarchy Works)