librarianreads

[librarianreads]

“Livie, I think you’re completely fucked up." (Boy, I'd say...)

Read One Tiny Lie only if you're NOT tired of the gorgeous-manwhore-who-screws-everything-with-a-pulse-but-it's-okay-he's-only-damaged-and-I-can-fix-him-with-my-love-because-even-assholes-are-worthy-of-love nonsense. I am, and was, but read it anyway. 

I'm sorry (not sorry), I don't care how repentant, remorseful, or what kind of awesome-ass excuses the dude has for his deplorable I AM ALPHA MALE I WILL WAG MY DICK AROUND ALL I WANT behavior in the end; it's still bullshit. 

I do like Livie for the most part, she's (moderately) intelligent and managed to make me chuckle once or twice. She's forced by her shrink to participate in some ridiculous antics, and that's fun.Until these antics lead her into the path of said Alpha Male Douchtard and Fuckery starts raining down all over fucking everything, causing all kinds of fucking drama which Livie handles in a extremely healthy way; she gets shitfaced all the time. 

But I am over this misguided belief that when things get difficult, getting completely shitfaced makes it all better. No. Fucking no. I don't harbor the belief that raging alcoholism fixes anything, let's stop perpetuating that myth - shall we? Dr. Stayner is truly the only real bright spot in this book, making me laugh just when I was considering punching myself in the face. 

I received One Tiny Lie as an ARC through Netgalley.com via Atria Books.

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Silent Rage Screams (or Why Some People Shouldn't Write Prequels)

I was so friggin' excited for Breakable. I love, love, love, LOVED Easy. Jacqueline was a relatable heroine and Lucas was ridiculously swoonworthy and, yeah ok, a little bit of a dipshit. But I was able to look past that. In Breakable, he just seemed like an all out Douche with a capital 'D'.  Told in alternating storylines, Landon growing up and Lucas in present time, we follow Landon as he comes to grips with his mother's death, the upheaval of his life in every way possible, and how he tries to deal with that and his grief. Alternatively, we go with Lucas through his present time and his attraction to Jacqueline, and in many ways him still trying to handle his grief.  In addition to coming across as a major douchenozzle (for various reasons),Breakable was supposed to be a companion novel - capable of being read and stand on it's own without having had to read Easy prior. I was expecting something in the vein of Collen Hoover's Losing Hope, a complete story told from the previous male love interest's point of view and his story up until he met his love interest.  I didn't get that. Whole conversations that occurred in Easy were only summarized in Breakable. So I was left not having a solid reason as to why Lucas was so in love with Jacqueline that he would make the bone-head decisions that he did. We don't get to know Jacqueline AT ALL. And that's not okay.

Frankly, this whole book made me question why I even liked Lucas in the first place, or this world that Tammara Webber built.  Truly disappointing. 

[librarianreads]

“Aves hasn’t mentioned a boyfriend,” Lock chimed in, “and we’re just dying to hear all about you.” Liar. My friends were filthy lying sadists.”

There wasn't anything I didn't love about Firebug. And since I am a rabid pusher of the Necromancer books, I tried to be objective. But I won't lie; I was really, awkwardly excited.

See, kinda awkward... Anyway! I loved Ava; she was snarky, sarcastic, flawed and utterly realistic - down to being stupid over a dude. I adored the myriad of supporting characters - Ezra is incorrigible and stole my heart quickly. Lock is a steady, quiet constant; almost lurking in the background until the metaphorical clouds part and the sun shines down on him making you smack yourself in the face and go, "Well, I'm an idiot." There are a slew, a peck, a bunch, a bushel of other wonderful characters (and creatures) to be discovered within the pages of Firebug that you'll have to meet for yourself. Firebug wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but was filled with completely snort-worthy lines and was extremely dark once you look past all the glittering snark radiating from the character interaction.  In keeping in tradition, I can't wait to visit Ava and Co. in the future. No, really, I can't. Get to it! I received Firebug as an ARC via Netgalley courtesy of Macmillan Children's Publishing Group.

[librarianreads]

“I think a lot of people want to be someone, but we are scared that if we try, we won't be as good as everyone imagines we could be.”

Love Letters to the Dead is written in the format of letters to various dead people by Laurel. I state this, because I didn't realize that the ENTIRE book would be that way. Although it was a little awkward at first, I rather enjoyed it. Everything about Laurel's story is told through letters to Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Amelia Earhart, Jim Morrison and others - the significance as to why these particular people were chosen by her to write to isn't really clear until Laurel starts become more self-aware and honest with herself. Love Letters to the Dead was beautiful; it was a portrait of quiet despair from not understanding why the people you love are gone forever, the journey of a young girl trying to define herself in the wake of losing her sister, punctuated with these moving and resonating thoughts that stuck with me long after I finished. "Maybe when we can tell the stories, however bad they are, we don't belong to them anymore. They become ours."  I received Love Letters to the Dead via Netgalley courtesy of Farrar, Straus and Giroux. 

[librarianreads]

“Bad ideas are sometimes necessary." It sounds so much like an excuse, it's such an addict thing to say, that it makes my skin crawl.”

It's hard to find a murder mystery that has heart - or any real emotion within the story. 

Far From You had raw emotion in spades. 

Tess Sharpe managed to write in a way that I got lost in the story and felt what Sophie felt. And that's a rarity for me, to forget that I'm reading a book.  I had a sneaking suspicion about whodunit; but I wasn't sure if I was right until the end of the book.  Far From You was emotionally charged, perfectly paced, and chockerbock filled with real, dimensional characters. I received Far From You as an ARC through Netgalley courtesy of Disney Hyperion

[librarianreads]

“If I could, I would hug the whole world, and even the rainbows would be my friends! . . . I guess those cookies really are taking effect.”

Despite popular opinion, I loved No One Else Can Have You.

Was it perfect? No.

Was it the next literary genius novel? No.

But it was fucking fun, and silly, and I laughed so hard. I kept taking pictures of the funny parts and forcing them on others while I was reading it. Of course, out of context most of the replies were, "What the fuck are you reading?!", but that's really part of the fun.

Kippy Bushman, oh my...Kippy was a mess. She was far from being a perfect heroine; she was neurotic.

She was...

Clumsy.

Awkward.

"Ardent"

(In case you weren't sure, the zombie is representative of Kippy. Oh, poor Kippy.)

Kippy is smart as shit, awkward, damaged, weird, and I rooted for her hardcore.

The story was a little slow at times, and the supporting characters and fuckery that ensued was frustrating as all hell - but it was supposed to be. Kippy finds herself trapped in the middle of a town that would rather convict the wrong person in her best friend's murder, so they can go back to pretending it never happened, than to actually find the real murderer.

Toss in some psychobabble from her head shrinker father, Dommy, a mental health support group full of whacky characters, and a stint in the looney bin - and you've got a ridiculous, quirky murder mystery that made me laugh (and snort) out loud.

[librarianreads]

New and Adorable Phrases

Last week, I sent up a few items from the YA Non-Fiction section to be moved into the YA Fiction side of things because they weren't circulating and technically they are fiction - albeit classic fiction. 

They came back today with a typed note:

"I think these 3 books should stay as they are."

........

...........

..............!!!

I think I didn't ask for your fucking opinion.

I think that you should do what you're fucking told to do.

I THINK YOU SHOULD HOLD MY DICK.

[librarianreads]

No, my eye isn't twitching - I'm scowling at you.

This is how I feel at work making sure the perverts aren't doing what perverts do:

[librarianreads]

You are outranked, outmatched, outclassed and outnumbered. A queen you are not.

In three days, my little monster of a gay pride bulletin board comes down. It's the end of the month and it's time to decorate for the Summer Reading Program.

(WHOOO! ZOMBIES! I'm excited.)

Come to find out that my poor little monster is STILL being bad-mouthed and the bible-bangers are STILL bitching about wanting it taken down.

One of these morons who are vocal about hating it happen to be a coworker. Aggressiva, as we will call her, has been wasting her damn breath bitching to anyone who will listen. She's gone as far as to contact members of the Library Board in a pathetic attempt to rally them to her hateful, ignorant cause. It hasn't worked. But she keeps on bitching behind my back.

Guess what fuckers! It goes down in THREE fucking days. Till then, I hope every time you look at it, your ass starts to twitch and you get raging diarrhea. You miserable little troll bitch. Because I could give two shits less about your narrow-minded view of the world and the fact that you have let this consume your entire life for the whole month. So you keep on bitching, it doesn't affect me and I don't care about you. In fact...

*curtsy*

[librarianreads]

"Don’t fall into a routine. Shake things up. Doing the same thing over and over makes you feel comfortable. And feeling comfortable is bad.”

I love, love, loved Ashley Elston's The Rules for Disappearing. Meg is kind of a badass. Yes, she does spend a bit of time whining about how much her life sucks, but being shoved into Witness Protection and moved around a bunch of times will do that to a person. But she sucks it up and does what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And that earns her a shitload of brownie points from me. Ethan is absolutely adorable and one of the best YA love interests I've encountered in a very long time. (I would love to watch him curb-stomp Edward Cullen's sparkly ass. Is that wrong?) As a whole, I felt like this while reading it:

The Rules for Disappearing is filled with realistic characters, well-written and has just enough plot-twists to keep you guessing. I'm actually looking forward to the next installment. I received The Rules for Disappearing as and ARC through Netgalley via Disney Hyperion.

[librarianreads]

How I Spent the Beginning of Summer (or How I Create Controversy Without Even Trying)

In my little corner of the world, there are still many things that are considered "taboo."

Sex. Politics. Sex. Religion. Sex. Steady employment. Sex. Wearing white after Labor Day. Did I mention sex?

(If you're curious as to why mental illness doesn't fall on that list, you should know it's because in this part of the world, we don't hide our crazy people; we take them out and parade them around and compare severity of Batshit craziness. It's a weird game people play, don't ask.)

Back to the sex.

In particular, they have a problem with sex of the gay variety. And I can't even be sure it's the sex part that bothers them so much as they have this narrow view of the world and how it's Supposed To Be instead of How It Really Is.

June, as proclaimed by the President in 2011, is National LGBT Pride Month. I decided that in honor of the occasion, that a bulletin board in the library be dedicated to this event. Now, I'm not ignorant nor oblivious, and I was aware that there would be some members of the community that wouldn't exactly be in favor of such a thing existing. But what I didn't expect to happen was, that after a total of 4 hours of this thing being up, for all hell to break loose.

FOUR (4) HOURS.

That's insane, right? Right. But in those short few hours, a bulletin board became a source of tension and I the She-Devil responsible. It baffles me the level of which religious nutbags can organize to hate something in such a short span of time.  And that's exactly who has been vocal about wanting this poor, defenseless bulletin board to be taken down.

I never anticipated how big, and how much of a life of it's own, this board would get and the controversy around it.

I, and my coworkers involved in the creation, are not to be trifled with. Especially when it comes to something that means a lot to us. That's like taking the carcass of a gazelle away from a starving panther; it's a bad fucking idea and you will get your face ripped off. And maybe lose an arm or leg.

We were given a short allotment of time in which to prove that there weren't only negative responses to thing creature we birthed and nurtured, but also positive ones, or else we were going to have to take it out back and shoot it. So what does any modern individual do when in need of a public outlet to gain support?

They put that shit on Facebook.

In the week that followed, not only did our personal friends and family show their support for our little monster, but it was shared on a LGBT page with 295,000+ followers. Boss was flooded with 60+ emails ranging from outrage at the possibility that anyone would even entertain the idea of taking it down, especially in an institution of learning; to support and love of the board and what and stands for, and finally emails of people sharing their own experiences growing up as someone who either was gay or questioning their sexuality.

The latter never failed to bring tears to my eyes. The people who spoke of how hard it was to grow up as a person questioning their sexuality, or knowing they are in fact gay, they were my impetus for saying, "Fuck these ignorant jerks, I'm doing this anyway." I witnessed bullying over sexual orientation starting in MIDDLE SCHOOL, and it was something that continued even into high school. As a kid, I didn't know how to handle these situations. Homosexuality was as new to me as the concept of possibly not thinking boys were gross anymore. As an adult, I refuse to let the ignorance of other dictate how I live my life (even as a straight woman) or making anyone feel dismissed, hated or less-than because of who they are.

This board wasn't created to piss off the ignorant zealots who bastardize their religions and the word of their God, it wasn't created to make the homophobes uncomfortable, it wasn't created to incite controversy. It was created out of love and acceptance. It was created to show someone, even if it was just one person, that not everyone thinks and feels the same; that they aren't alone and that a perfect stranger thinks they are pretty fucking awesome just as they are.

As June comes to a close, I'm happy to report that my rainbowtastic bulletin board is still up. For once, the dumbasses didn't win and that, for this month, a library finally lived up to what it stood for: an institution where people come to be educated, included and a safe haven for those in the middle of a monsoon of uncertainty looking for answers.

And I'm pretty fucking pleased about that.

And without further explanation or ado, my little monster:

[librarianreads]

Oh holy hell...why me?

Sitting quietly at my desk, completely dicking around and playing on Facebook on my phone, Triple D is taking up space at the empty desk behind me and we have the following conversation:

Trip D: Why don't you like me?

Me:

Trip D: I just feel like you took an instant dislike to me, and I just wanted us to be friends, but you don't say anything to me besides "Hello" and "Goodbye"

Me:

Trip D: I just want us to be friends. You never ask me how my weekend was or how my holiday was or about my dead son or my dead dog and I just want us to be friends.

And then Triple D started doing this:

To which I am still doing this:

I did in fact spare her the real reasons as to why I dislike her, further explaining that I NEVER ask anyone how their weekend/holiday/dead relations or pets are doing. Mostly cause I don't give a fuck. And if they wanted to talk about it, they would bring it up, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON INSTEAD OF CRYING AT ME.

The workplace is not the time or location for all of this:

Stop mauling me with your feels. Cause now I REALLY don't like you.

[librarianreads]

“This overwhelming, encompassing feeling is love. It's not perfect and it's messy as hell. And it's exactly what I need.”

Dare to You is the second installment in Katie McGarry's Pushing the Limits series.

I love, love, LOVED Pushing the Limits. I thought it was an engaging, beautiful story with ridiculously realistic and relatable characters.

Katie McGarry didn't fail to deliver the second time around.

Beth; the punk, and Ryan; the sports hero, are an unlikely couple on the surface but, delving deeper into what lies beneath, they are each others puzzle pieces.

As their story unfolds, they both learn that lesson that you can't judge everyone by how they look or what comes out of their mouths but by what they do when it's all on the line. Which might be cliche, but lets face it, it's a lesson people still rarely learn. Wonderfully written, enthralling as hell and so freaking romantic that I feel completely cheated by my own first love and high school experience that I want to throw a temper tantrum like a big, angry, disappointed baby gorilla, Dare to You is a fantastic YA romance dealing with real-life problems.

I received Dare to You as an ARC from Harlequin Teen via Netgalley.

[librarianreads]

These idiots need keepers.

Yes, please stand there and bitch at me about how paying your overdue fines is a waste of money.

Not that it doesn't go back to the library for whatever we may need to purchase with the collected fines.

For instance:

Read some.

Fuck you very much.

[librarianreads]

“Then this girl completely shatters the window to my soul and crawls inside.”

Since I finished This Girl well over a week or so ago and STILL can't find the words to express how much I loved it and how it made me feel; I present you with a photo-breakdown of my mental breakdown following the last page of the conclusion to the Slammed series. This is how I felt when I finished This Girl because it was awesomesauce:

Then, later, this:

And even a little of this, after the realization that it was the final book set in:

And after THAT was done, this:

Because I didn't know how to function or what to read afterward. If all this seems dramatic, it's because I am and so are my feelings. This Girl was a beautiful ending to one of my favorite love stories ever.

[librarianreads]

I'm Not Really a Nice Person ( Or, How My Coworkers Make Me Look Like a Fucking Saint)

I'm really kind of an asshole.

I throw pens/markers/baby goats at Coworker V when I'm trying to concentrate and she's rambling to herself. Or maybe she's rambling to me and I'm not paying attention, either way she's talking and I'm trying to focus on something. Like writing a blog or a review or talking to a Patron on the phone.

Case in point: the movie Radio. Remember the part where the all the little douchebag football players have locked Cuba Gooding Jr. in the storage shed and they are throwing footballs into the walls in the ultimate display of I Am a Man and I am Such a Badass in My Manliness? Remember when the coaches stop them and release Radio from the shed to go back into the wild to go about pushing his cart and listening to his little handheld radio and grinning his goofy-toothed grin, but in his terrified fleeing he trips and falls?

Yeah, I laughed at that. Really hard. Okay, okay, okay...I laughed so hard I snorted, rewound it and watched it again. But just the part where he trips and falls. I'm not a total monster. (Though, I have to mention that when searching for gifs of that movie to use later in this post, I couldn't find one. Not. A. Single. One. Apparently, I am alone in that realm of Asshole in which I dwell.)

See? I'm kind of an asshole. So when I think that your behavior is deplorable, you know that you are completely fucked as a human being.

At my library our Patrons run the gamut of Pleasantly Normal to What the Fuck. Falling in between those two categories is a guy in his early 20's, doesn't talk a lot but when he does it's more like growling instead of real English, doesn't make eye contact frequently and doesn't like to have anyone within a 3 feet radius of his Personal Bubble (which you all know I can completely understand).

Whopper (as we will call him) comes in (or used to) every morning to sit on a very specific computer and watch anime videos. And I don't mean those anime videos that border on porn, I mean the cutesy Care Bear-type. Whopper has some interesting habits that have garnered the scorn of some of my fellow coworkers, giving them permission in their minds to mock and generally make fun of him. Typically while he is in the library using our services. Classy, right?

What's really classy is that Whopper is autistic.

I don't presume to understand all the complexities of autism and the various "levels" to which a person may have it. But I do understand, on the very basic level of being a fucking human capable of compassion, empathy and knowing when to not be a fucking prick; that Whopper shouldn't be made fun of. It's up there with kicking animals and putting live lobsters in a pot of boiling water to be cooked alive.

It's fucked up. And you are going to whatever version of hell you happen to believe in.

Exactly, almost everything.

I may laugh at this:

But here's where I break it down, while the movie may have been inspired by a real person, I am laughing at an actor who is not actually developmentally different.  And let's face it, it's funny when people fall down. If I fall down and bust my ass, I give everyone full permission to laugh.

Making fun of someone whose life you don't live or understand, that's wrong and I hope Satan/Lucifer/Grumpy Care Bear shoves a pineapple on steroids up your sphincter everyday for the rest of your afterlife until you have learned that some shit, you don't laugh at.

[librarianreads]

You are not Tom Hardy and you are NOT allowed inside my Bubble

For all of my bitching and complaining I'm actually a fairly laid-back individual, there are just certain things that I do NOT tolerate.

Someone serving me peas is one of them. Also people who talk during movies, but I'm pretty sure that pisses off most everybody.

My extreme hot-button pet-peeve involves my Bubble. My personal space is my personal space and you don't fucking cross it unless you're given permission by me. Which doesn't happen often.

And I'm not talking about the "Oops, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." Invasion of the Bubble. That's accidental and is just something you have to get used to when living in society where everyone has their faces buried in some sort of technology. I'm referring to the deliberate violation of my person.

I'm talking about the kind of Invasion of the Bubble that occurred today at work when Boss slapped me in the arm with the back of their hand during a conversation between myself, her and other coworkers.

I'm sure some might not think anything of that, but this is something that has happened multiple times over the 3 years I've been employed by the library. And every time I've politely asked Boss not to do it.

Clearly, Boss hasn't listened. And I am fed up.

For all the reaming myself and my coworkers receive on the subject of professionalism, I find that striking your employees in anyway falls under not being professional. Furthermore, I find that when an employee goes to you to and says, "Do NOT put your hands on me ever again" it should be taken seriously and not argued.

You have no grounds to argue with me on the subject. It is MY arm on MY body and YOU have NO RIGHT to touch me, hit me or anything else. Nor can you chastise me for my hostile tone, when the act of purposefully striking someone itself is a hostile act.

Don't fucking do it. Just don't.

This is a fucking library. I am not a crack whore working the streets and you are not my pimp. Keep your fucking hands to yourself.