libragw-blog
621 posts
rex, 17, libra, sick please get help and learn tolove yourself. please seek recovery
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recovery
i wish that i could stay recovered, and not be constantly anxious about my weight. even when i am in recovery (am i right now, or am i relapsing?), whenever i go into the bathroom i habitually look at my stomach flatness and thigh gap. i also will unconsciously wrap my fingers around my wrist to see if they can touch, same with my thighs and arms. even tho i was technically recovered, i would still worry about looking and feeling bloated!!!!!! even on my medication, when will these thoughts go away!??!?!? i’m so sick of them, and i’ve been struggling with them for almost 5 years !!!!! why can i not eat and not feel disgusting about myself !!!!!!!!!! these thoughts plague my whole thought process and all i think about is when i’m going to eat and it’s so unhealthy and i wish i could stop but the fuckung voice in my head is just telling me to starve !! shut up!!!
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rebranded and going to the gym today for an hour or two. the bagel for breakfast didn’t really fill me up, so i am drinking lots of water, a cup of green tea, and eventually some apple cider vinegar.
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When you're trying to convince yourself that you don't have an ED:

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me coming back on tumblr after failing my 8474838th attempt to recover
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Me after a binge: ugh gross how could I put that poison into my body??? Never eating chips, pizza, or any kind of junk ever again I’m going to buy a shit ton of vegetables and eat clean from now on 😌✨
Me the very moment I open my eyes the next morning: choclet
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nah fr its really not that hard to eat between 500-700 calories a day if you don’t waste them on like junk food and snacks.... i meal planned today to kind of prevent/enable my ed and all of my meals were 500-700 calories and i had planned breakfast lunch dinner AND a snack... hopefully i don’t binge, because each meal has 100-300 calories so that should sustain with plenty of acv, exercise, and geeen tea i should be fine and still not get nauseas from not eating on my medication, since each breakfast has at least 200 calories
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