lesbean-on-the-side

[lesbean-on-the-side]

Under heating your spaghettios, then throwing them back in the microwave and overheating them is its own special kind of hell

[lesbean-on-the-side]

Fun new game me and my girlfriend play:

Is it pink or red? Starring me- the confused, red deficient partner.

Needless to say, I was shocked to find out that watermelon is red on the inside and not pink. This is apparently common knowledge. 🍉

[lesbean-on-the-side]

I can’t believe I’m going to have met both sides of my girlfriends family within the first six months of dating because of attending two different grandmothers funerals…I’m going to have to convince them I’m not an omen of death now….

[lesbean-on-the-side]

Sometimes my girlfriend sends me cute messages, and other times she send me things like:

“if i were a lagoon-dwelling alien hybrid seeking a host for my eggs, i’d choose you as my mate 🥹”

And honestly, that’s how I know it’s love

[lesbean-on-the-side]

Me: I’m trying to look really gay, is it giving?

Girlfriend: I would totally hate crime you

Me, internally: I’m going to marry her