leothecloud

[leothecloud]

A Gender Q&A! (Pls keep in mind gender is a spectrum)

“If you're Agender do you still consider yourself trans?”

Answer: Yes, to a degree I do as I see the word trans as an umbrella word for the most part. I consider myself as one of many trans individuals but I am not specifically transgender. I do not have any gender at all and do not fit into a form of a gender binary.

“If you're Agender why do you also Identify as/with Xenogender?”

Answer: I use xenogenders as a way to describe how I feel about myself and my gender when I am dissociation. For me personally, I use it due to my mental health. Some may also use the term neurogender to describe it. I dissociate and feel out of body quite often at times so I tend to feel voidlike a lot. For me in my identity xenos are a way I describe myself but I do not identify as it. Everyone who uses xenos is different though.

“If you're Agender do you have to present a certain way?”

Answer: No, I don't dress in any particular way. Not neutral, not fem, not mascs, etc. I mix styles, gender expressions, and clothing. Sometimes I may present masc clothing wise but overall I just present however I like.

“If you don't align with any gender what are your goals in transitioning then?”

Answer: I take a very low dose of Testosterone and one day plan on not taking it once I am comfortable. I just want my body to redistribute itself some more. Regarding surgery, I plan on having top surgery as I'd like to be flat due to having no connection to my chest. I don't care for having a “male” or “female” lower parts so I won't get bottom surgery. I have already had a hysterectomy due to being Agender.

“If you are Agender do you still experience dysphoria?”

Answer: Kind of. So I don't wish I was anything but I do wish I had no parts at all. Some of my physical characteristics make me experience dysphoria and make me insecure ex: my chest or my height as they aren't what I imagine myself to look like.

[leothecloud]

My feelings and thoughts that happen as someone whose Asexual:

•Having a libido without sexual or physical attraction towards others.

•Distracted during sex.

•Feeling repulsed some days but sex favorable other days.

•Feeling a disconnection between myself and other people.

•Assuming everyone prefers a person’s personality and romance while forgetting I’m ace. THEN being confused when people don't.

•Not understanding one night stands at all.

•Not caring about how someone dresses or how they look.

•Discomfort with sexual innuendos some days but other days making the jokes myself.

•A constant back and forth battle of conflicting and contradictory thoughts and emotions.

[leothecloud]

happy ace week to everyone but this post is specifically for:

the aspecs who don't know what the fuck is up with their sexual attraction

the aspecs who don't understand attraction at all

the aspecs who bounce around between labels and can never pick one that fits you

basically all the aspecs who have ever been confused abt their asexuality

you're fucking VALID and i support you!! i know it sucks to be confused and to not know how to describe your experience. it's going to work out, i promise. and in the meantime, try not to get TOO hung up on labels. they're meant to help us understand ourselves, not to define us. you're amazing 💜

[leothecloud]

What Being Agender is like for me:

•Being neither man, woman, or nonbinary.

•If I didn't have any parts at all I would be 10x happier.

•Presenting as nothing in particular.

•Lack of gender as a whole.

•Having no preferences for clothes.

•Feeling voidlike and not associating with Gender Binarys.

•Gender Dysphoria with my chest, height, and weight.

•Chronic feelings of disconnection.

•Trouble articulating who I am to others.

•People hating on me if I present fem or masc or neither because nothing fits their ideas of how I should be.

[leothecloud]

How my Asexuality shows up in every day life:

Eating food while everyone talks about crushes, relationships, or romance. (Lack of interest)

Not experiencing physical or sexual attraction.

Prioritizing emotional connections and establishing ways to make others feel appreciated.

Apathy regarding sexual topics.

Disinterested in flirting and unable to notice when someone flirts with me.

Experiences discomfort when others talk about sex sometimes.

Shows up with presents or provides words of affirmation for those I care about 24/7.

Awkward sex jokes but doesn't like sex.

Has sexual intimacy once in a while for the emotional aspect of love.

Can go months to years without any sexual intimacy but still values/needs normal intimacy. Example: holding hands, cuddling, hugging, or a kiss on the forehead.

As time periods of not wanting to be touched at all.

[leothecloud]

if certain "passing" tips make you uncomfortable or even dysphoric, you don't have to do them- being miserable and feeling unlike yourself is not worth trying to be unclockable. you have to give yourself some breathing room to express your own personal tastes. it's okay to allow yourself to embrace your own personal presentation tastes while blending in a little bit easier. don't let yourself fall into the traps of shaving too much or not enough, not wearing colors, not dying your hair, wearing uncomfortable clothing, forcing yourself to or not to wear jewelry, forcing yourself to or not to wear makeup, forcing yourself to have a specific hair style, and all the rest.

you're allowed to incorporate your interests into your presentation while still trying to pass. you don't have to completely abandon your own personality.

[leothecloud]

Shoutout to trans individuals who realize more about their identity as they get older. The people who realize their gender may be completely different than what they originally thought and came out as. They are still trans. They are still valid. Gender is a spectrum and sometimes things might change for some individuals.

I came out as a Trans Man at age 15. I knew the name I wanted immediately and began social transition with friends. I had an idea of what I wanted to look like and I was certain of who I am. I never questioned things further or took a second look because in high school my brain went “I don't want to be a girl so being a boy makes the most sense.” never fully taking the time to learn or understand there are other identities out there.

I am 25 now and I started requestioning things at 24. I found it hard to explain what my gender feels like for me personally. I always said man because I do feel comfortable only in mens clothing and presenting that way. I did not know you could express however and not be a man. I never knew how to tell people how I identified outside the binary but I always knew something was OFF. I found xenogenders and that helped me explain what my gender feels like. Not what I am but how I view myself. I realized I feel empty, voidlike, endless, and that began my deep dive into who I am for the second time in my life.

The more I put the puzzle pieces together and re-evaluated things, the more I realized I am Agender. Not in a Nonbinary way. Not in a fluid way. I am completely genderless and that is why the xenos I began using were things like the sea or space. An endless voidlike thing. I realized I feel indifferent to the “parts” I have and wouldn't mind if I had nothing at all. I still present mainly masc but after talking to others and research I learned that Agender people dress in what they are comfortable in regardless of clothes and present in a wide variety of ways.

Some do view themselves more fluid or Nonbinary. However, I don't. I view myself as nothing. There is no gender for me at all. It is all empty and the ability to expand my horizons and learn and understand outside the binary has been a blessing for my journey.

So shout out to the people who are still figuring things out. Who are just starting to figure it out and who have realized things later after already coming out. I see you. You're valid.

[leothecloud]

Friendly reminder that xenogenders don't identify as objects or concepts! They aren't saying their gender is, for example, a rose. They are saying their gender is like a rose. They are using recognizable concepts to explain their gender experience. Rosegender isn't thinking your gender is a rose, it's saying your gender is thorny and layered, aka it's painful to try to analyze it further than one already has. I genuinely think there would be a lot more people who support the xenogender community if people would do a bit more research into what it means!

(FYI, I'm not xenogender, I just think xenogender people deserve to be treated better!)

[leothecloud]

Yes, absolutely dismantle the gender binary. BUT dont forget to dismantle the sex binary too. Intersex people exist and they regularly get ignored in both queer and non-queer spaces. There are NOT only two sexes, and us perisex trans people CAN NOT forget that or else we will become like our oppressors, people who say there are only two genders and that what you are born as is what you must stay as. Intersexism must be stopped.

Love you all and have fun destroying society’s utterly limiting expectations of our minds and bodies 🫰

[leothecloud]

TW: Rant

What people think 𝔸𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝 is: Not wanting sex, not wanting relationships, unable to have any form of intimacy, etc.

What 𝔸𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝 actually is: Feeling little to no sexual ATTRACTION for others. The key word is Attraction.

What 𝔸𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝 actually is: A spectrum where people experience sexual attraction differently than others.

It is a sexuality that may or may not include sex depending on what that individual is comfortable with just like other people. Non aces may sleep with others without being attracted to them. So can Aces. Non aces may only be comfortable with certain forms of intimacy. So are Aces. Non aces may feel uncomfortable with sex at times or say no to sex. So do Aces. Some Ace folk want a purely romantic and platonic relationship while others may not experience any attraction at all and are AroAce.

Asexual individuals have boundaries just like other people. There is no us vs you. The only thing different is we experience sexual ATTRACTION differently. Some aces still have a libido even without wanting a sexual connection with someone else. Some don't. It is a ✨spectrum✨ just like every other sexuality. There's different variations of attraction. There's emotional, romantic, sexual, platonic, etc. There's different boundaries people have and some people don't want anything at all and that is okay too.

I am asexual panromantic. I experience very little sexual attraction. It is rare. That does not mean I am not okay having sex. I have sex with my partner for the emotional part of sex not for sex itself. It isn't about ✨sex✨ for me personally. Its about the raw emotional love and connection I feel for him during it. I experience romantic attraction. I experience emotional attraction. I still can connect on a mental level with my partner. I am not broken. I still can have relationships with others.

Asexuals are not Ｂｒｏｋｅｎ

Asexuals are not Ｗｅｉｒｄ

Asexuals just haven't met 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯

They know they are on the ace spectrum even without sex. Even without dating or even when they've dated and had sex. I met my dream partner and I am still ace. That will not change because it is my sexuality. It is how I experience attraction. Saying we haven't met the one who will change us is erasing our lived experience. It is denying the truth which is we know who we are and what we want.

Our sexuality isn't a burden. Not everyone needs sexual validation. Not everyone wants sex or a sexual form of intimacy or intimacy at all. If a non ace person told they're partner their sex drive isn't present or told them No it would be seen as a boundary and would (hopefully) be respected. It is still a 𝘉𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘺 when an ace person says it. It is still a no. It is just as valid and needs to be just as respected and if you are pressuring your ace partner that is the same as pressuring someone who isn't ace. That is just pressuring(and SA). You aren't changing them. You are just crossing a boundary out of fear that they don't reciprocate how you feel or because you prioritize how you feel more.

Asexual folk can reciprocate your feelings without needing to have sex or attraction. There are many ways to show how one loves the other. Words of affirmation. Providing support. Checking up on you throughout the day. Giving gifts or bringing home your favorite snacks. Doing the tasks you asked them to do. Telling you how much you are appreciated. There is more to a relationship than sexual attraction and sex. There's more to the ace community than one form of asexuality. There's more to everything.

[leothecloud]

Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender

[leothecloud]

For those who need reassurance:

You don't need surgery to be valid. You can have surgery and be valid. Whether you are on hormones or not you're valid. Your gender expression can be anything in any form and you are valid. There is no right way to be Trans. You are enough. People cannot choose who you are. You do/can and you are beautiful.

[leothecloud]

My Body Euphoria Goals and steps I am taking to achieve them~ (I hope this helps give others ideas)

Top Surgery requires a letter from a psychiatrist or therapist, a surgeon, and insurance approval. It was also recommended that a lose a little weight prior to surgery for anesthesia purposes and surgery purposes.

Weight Loss. The goal weight is 150 which requires a 120-pound weight loss. Achieving this through yoga, weight lifting, and light cardio such as swimming. Portioned meals also help.

Facial Masculinization Surgery requires another letter and will take place after being healed from Top Surgery. Needs Insurance approval too.

Tattoos to help cover scars and display art on my body. Plans: half sleeve and five more tattoos to add to my body since I already have a good amount. I also want to eventually get tattoos to cover my top surgery scars.

Piercings to help self-esteem. Planning on getting snake bites, nostril, both flats, and both upper helix done.

[leothecloud]

it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't have, want, or try to look like you have a beard. it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't pack or don't want to. it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't really wear men's clothing. it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't bind. it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't have a deep voice. it's okay if you're a trans guy and you don't pass. it's okay to be a trans guy and just be for a while.

people push trans guys to get to the end of their transitions way too fast. it's okay to just be pre-t for a while. it's okay to be never-t. it's okay to not get surgeries. it's okay to take it slow and think. it's okay to not rush into changing your name or socially transitioning. it's okay to take it slow

there are lots of ways to be a trans guy. it's okay to take it at your own pace

[leothecloud]

Special Interests I have that maybe if I share it we can all bond over our interests together:

•SHARKS 🦈

•MOTHMAN 🖤

•FROGS 🐸

•BANANYA ANIME 🍌

•GHOSTS/PARANORMAL 👻

•NEKO ATSUME 🐱

Its important to remember the general definition of ‘Special Interest’ which is: a specific interest in a certain topic/thing. (Not to be confused with hyperfixations which is more of focusing and taking actions regarding a specific thing which can lead to losing track of time, poor hygiene, stress, etc)

[leothecloud]

"we need more weird queers!!"

you start parroting TERF talking points the milisecond someone says they are a lesboy or gaygirl

you cry when mspec lesbians/gays exist

you refuse to use neopronouns or it/its, even when those are a persons only set of pronouns

you expect a-specs to experience attraction in some way (yes, that includes platonic attraction)

you exclude intersex people

you can't even accept furries.

[leothecloud]

some aces are virgins

some aces love sex

some aces have sexual trauma

some aces don't want sex

some aces masturbate

some aces are teenagers

some aces are in their seventies

some aces dress modestly

some aces wear skimpy clothes

some aces only date aces

some aces don't want romance

and we're all valid : )