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SHES GAY???????

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File Name: The Bolter 🤍

Pre-order the new edition of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT with an exclusive bonus track for a limited time on my website now

https://taylor.lnk.to/thetorturedpoetsdepartment

📷: Beth Garrabrant

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what I would give play hphm with the gameplay and style of hpma

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Playing Hogwarts Mystery during the Celestial Ball event.

Makes fun of romcom anime where the MC doesn’t choose the childhood friend.

Gets the option to invite the girl whose helped me since year 1 (currently year 4) to be my date to the ball. She’s practically part of the trio and set up as “default” girl to ask.

Doesn’t choose her as my date, despite helping her decorate for the ball.

Instead asks the tsundere tomboy who bullied me year 1 and is now my rival.

She looks gorgeous in her dress.

Thinking back at all the Harry x Draco shippers I called crazy because it doesn’t make sense for you to date a rival.

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Another tiny snippet because this chapter is an absolute pain to write and I have no restraint. (Also spoilery if you’re not caught up.)

The ceremony ended like a faded enchantment. With unnerving abruptness, everyone was released from their seats. Those that had to rush off dispersed, while those that remained lingered to mingle, in even less of a hurry now they had nowhere to be.

Merula leaned close to my ear and said, “Need to check in with Robards. Give me a minute?”

“Take your time,” I said, nasally through my handkerchief.

“Won’t be long.” She cupped her hand by her mouth as if she was going to whisper something. I angled my ear towards her. She planted a kiss on my jaw and dashed off, leaving me feeling much better than before.

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"I can fix him" not in a "I can make him into a better person" way but in a "if he was my character I would've handled his story better" way

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i miss Rowan so much

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taylor what is this

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adult skye having that haircut is a crime partly because she’s friends with andre and it implies he stood back and let her cut her hair that way. he would never

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"He doesn't have any other friends! He wants to manipulate all of your time!!!"

Look who is talking now

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Two queer witches on the run with their lockpicking bowtruckle? Taking be gay do crime to the next level.

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I saw this chart on Facebook and I knew I had to do it with hphm characters

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Fact: if your Hogwarts Mystery character picks Merula as their date to the Masqarade Ball they will suddenly come down with a case of facial blindness because literally nobody in school has a gaint orange fringe yet they still can't tell it's her.

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Merula: Oh, who's this who thinks they're so tough?

MC: Look, I think it's only fair to warn you that I'm practiced in the ancient art of... origami.

Merula: Paper folding?

MC: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't know what it was.

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scottish merula bc every time i read those scottish twitter tweets i think of her