legomonky

[legomonky]

‪im going to fix the economy‬

[legomonky]

whiskey dick is such a beautiful phrase if I had a gorgeous maine coon cat I would name her whiskey dick

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

they hate me because i live a second life in my dreams and wake up changed from the experience

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

At least we have jacking off

[legomonky]

it's called the Switch 2 because you Switch 2 a cheaper hobby

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

[legomonky]

tbh you can fuck your friends, but only once