ledzephlin

[ledzephlin]

There was a lot of stuff I was supposed to do today, but instead I've made this:

[ledzephlin]

This is the funniest fucking thing, omg.

THE SAPPHIC MERIDIAN

[ledzephlin]

love when a mother asks if they have ever done anything to hurt you. ma'am, you will literally never be ready to have this conversation

[ledzephlin]

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

[ledzephlin]

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

[ledzephlin]

title of this is just ‘lesbian sex’

[ledzephlin]

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

[ledzephlin]

A lot of booktook smut is easy to make fun of but generally I think women jerking off is a good and righteous thing. Yet another example of things that are embarrassing also being cool. Lotta complex thoughts to think out there. Be safe. I love you.

[ledzephlin]

the left testicle is for logic and forward thinking and the right testicle is for creativity and art

[ledzephlin]

i don’t care that lestat is a rockstar. it should have been claudia. every good thing that’s ever happened to him should have happened to claudia. i hope he dies. again.

[ledzephlin]

based off a dumb discord conversation

[ledzephlin]

ok time to lock the fuck in *opens discord* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens tumblr* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens gmail* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens youtube* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens an unstable vortex in time and space* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens ao3* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens discord* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens tumblr*

[ledzephlin]

shoutout to the childish bitterness when ur friends are all enjoying a new game/show/fandom that you know isnt to your tastes but you still feel left out. like its not their fault and its not your fault but you WILL be having a silent tantrum about it for the forseeable future.

[ledzephlin]

random gid and jodybeth (first time drawing them)

[ledzephlin]

here are my favourite recurring light yagami behaviours:

- *hysterical screaming tantrum* *sudden perfect calm* literally no transition between the two

- responding to a direct question by staring at his hands for five minutes while he thinks of the perfect non-suspicious response, then not actually saying the response out loud

- putting on a performance for the truman show

- alien emulating human behaviour by reading the wikipedia page, convinced he’s doing a bang-up job

- the sincere and unironic belief that adultery will make him look less suspicious

[ledzephlin]

Ways to Improve Online (White-People) Recipes

If it asks for garlic, add that much ginger, and twice that much garlic.

If it asks for cinnamon, add 1 1/2 times as much cinnamon, and a small amount of nutmeg. If the MAIN flavour is cinnamon, also add a small amount of cloves and allspice.

If it asks for vanilla, also add a SMALL amount of almond extract. (Usually up to a few drops.)

If it asks for onions, also add some garlic, but add it 1 minute before you're either done cooking, or you add liquid

If the spices are pretty much only oregano or parsley, add both, as well as a small to medium amount of basil, thyme, summer savory, tarragon, and/or marjoram (the earlier two are great in beef, chicken and tomato dishes, while the others are good with pork, chicken, most vegetables, and pretty much anything else you can think of with a 'lighter' flavour)

if it asks for cheddar or mozzarella cheese, also add a bit of feta and parmesan

Don't be afraid of flavour!