lbrush333

[lbrush333]

I don't have to shout my thoughts into a void now I can share them with those that matter.

[lbrush333]

In another life, I wasn't broken and bruised and falling to pieces. In another life, I was confident and knew my self-worth. In another life, I got to keep my innocence and didn't learn how cruel the world could be. In another life I could have been perfect.

But in this life, I fit perfectly in your arms, and that's enough for me.

[lbrush333]

Others made my heart cold. They drowned the unconditional love I had in apathy and bitterness. I hid it well behind a smile that lies and sweet words that mean nothing. I hated the cold world I was forced into, one without colour and happiness. one without joy and love. I hated the world, and my hatred poisoned me.

You, though, you’re innocent. Perhaps not untouched by the world I hate so much but unaffected, unchanged by it. Your eyes are bright with joy and wonder. Your heart warm inside your chest.

Sometimes, I want to break you open and expose that bright, warm heart of yours so I can see what I once had without a barrier of flesh and bone between us.

I know that if I do, this cold world will snuff out that flame in a moment, and it will be gone, and you’ll be just like me, forever craving the warmth you once had.

Instead, let me lay my head on your chest and feel that warmth against my skin. Let me pretend, at least for a moment, that I haven't been broken open, torn apart, and made so very cold. Let me pretend this heart is mine.

[lbrush333]

I want to keep you by my side forever tethered to me by joined hands and soft caresses. I want you to always look at me with a smile and those eyes that say so much even when you’re silent. I want us to be forever.

I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen the joined hands and gentle caresses. I’ve seen eyes which had so much to say. I’ve seen joined hands part and eyes grow cold. I want us to be forever but forever is a long time.

[lbrush333]

I had no idea I was how dark my mind was until you took me in your arms and told me everything I thought about myself was wrong. I'm not one of many. I'm not replaceable. I should expect better. I am beautiful. I am kind. I can do amazing things.

I know you need to hear the same, but people don't ask me to take you in my arms. You're quite a bit taller than I am, and if I tried, I think I'd break something.

[lbrush333]

I knew I loved you when you, broken, bruised and in pain, kicked me in the nuts because you thought I hurt your friend (I didn't my brother did).

[lbrush333]

No longer does a weight crush me in the quiet hours of the night when everything sleeps. No longer do I feel chained in place, bound to remain stagnant. I can move forward and grow beyond what I ever thought possible.

You've removed the weight that crushed me. You've unlocked the chains that bound me. You offered me a way out, and I took it. I've stepped into a new world, a new chapter, perhaps even a new book. I don't know what awaits me, but I know I want to find out what awaits me beyond the horizon.

[lbrush333]

You came into my life unexpectedly. I didn't want you. I didn't need you. But you are mine.

[lbrush333]

I will always think the world of you because I know you've worked hard, and just by looking at you, I know when you've had a long day.

I see how hard you've worked by the way you walk, the way you sigh, the way you talk. I don't have to watch you work to know you have.

You will always think the worst of me because you don't see how hard I work. You don't see beyond what your eyes tell you.

I will always be a disappointment to you because you will never see what I do each day.

I love you desperately, and you hate me infinitely.

[lbrush333]

‘Your feelings are valid, and I’m here for you’, he said with full sincerity. His image blurred, and I wondered if he was real or just what I needed.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I knew he was real and perfect, and mine. Tears fell down my cheeks, and I cried out all the tears I had denied.

[lbrush333]

I said the words I needed to hear. Now, someone's saying it back, and I'm breaking in the best way.

[lbrush333]

You looked at me and saw something beautiful. You held me as though I was precious. You whispered beautiful words in my ear, and the flowers that bloomed in my chest were bright and full of life, wrapping around the broken pieces of my heart and making what I thought was broken whole again.

[lbrush333]

I've realised that life is a blender. It either breaks you, or you break it. You might crack, and pieces might fall off. It might even take your whole life before one of you breaks, but break it will.

[lbrush333]

I don't know if I want to marry you or just spend the rest of my life talking to you.

[lbrush333]

My love language is you hugging me. I look vaguely horrified at being hugged, so you begin to pull away, only for me to say. “Don't stop. I was just getting comfortable.” while still being incredibly tense.

[lbrush333]

Can someone else be me for a week? I want to sleep and rest and figure out who I am without being crushed by the weight of expectations and responsibility that comes with living. I want to know who I am alone before I have to live surrounded by people.

[lbrush333]

I tried to be the hero in everyone's story instead I became the villain.

You can only give so much before your left with nothing but hate.