lazyturtleshell

[lazyturtleshell]

i CANT stop watching this japanese jerma dub my friend did

[lazyturtleshell]

Normal question about cooking clicker: When the grandmas mutate into the flesh abominations when they're angered, can said flesh abominations feel? I mean at a certain point the receptors would probably stop working with such a different body structure. I need a clear answer on if they can feel pain

yes! during grandmapocalyptic events, affected individuals experience rapid continuous growth facilitated by the high-sugar environment! newly-formed excrescences are soon populated with nervous and vascular systems in densities typical of senescent human flesh! at this stage however notions such as pain cease to hold meaning

[lazyturtleshell]

Just wanna set the record straight, I support both Luigi Mangione AND whoever shot Brian Thompson. Just remember Luigi hasn't been confirmed to be that person.

Either way both are incredibly fuckin based

[lazyturtleshell]

what about blorbhov from my complicated russian novel though

[lazyturtleshell]

👍‼️🏢🤮🔥

hey! also bonus 🛩️, comboes very well with 🏢🏢

💯🙏💛🟨👍

[lazyturtleshell]

this is my favourite video rn btw

[lazyturtleshell]

[lazyturtleshell]

@sarahhi9

READ NOW

Questioner

You’ve said before that “metals have kind of a Spiritual integrity” and that’s why they interact with Investiture the way they do. Is this Identity?

Brandon Sanderson

Yes, good catch.

Questioner

How does that work, though?

Brandon Sanderson

So, it has to do with—Um, this is a complicated one. Let me finish signing this first. *pauses*

Anyway—Should I answer this? Those people from the Heptadecimal Fragment *gestures to recorder* have been trying to get this out of me for years. Should I give them what they want? I can’t believe they’re still letting Eugene in here, by the way.

SilverStar

Oh come on! *laughs*

Brandon Sanderson

*chuckles evilly* Fine, fine! I’ll tell you.

So, it’s because of metals and things sharing an Identity. Like, brass is considered the same thing as fire in the Spiritual Realm, which is why it stores heat—

SilverStar

Wait, why does it Soothe instead of Riot, then?

Brandon Sanderson

*pointedly ignores question* —and steel is velocity and things like that.

Questioner

So duralumin—

Brandon Sanderson

Sex.

DiscordA5B

Like gender?

Brandon Sanderson

No, like intercourse.

SilverStar

I’m sorry, what?

Brandon Sanderson

I put the chart together when I was revising the book back in 2005—or was it 2006? It might’ve been 2006. Or 2007? Emily do you remember—never mind, it doesn’t matter. But I was on my honeymoon at the time, so it was on my mind—so that would have to be 2006? Anyway, duralumin is considered sexual intercourse by the Spiritual Realm. You can think of it a little like physical manifestations of spren, solid passionspren basically.

Crowd

*horrified but not uninterested silence*

Brandon Sanderson

Connection should be—what was it Robert Jordan said, “intuitively obvious to the casual observer”? It should be clear why that one is connected to this. As for the Allomantic effect, it triggers an orgasm, because… (Have I canonized this yet? I think I’ve canonized this already. I need to ask Karen if I put it in the wiki.) It’s because metals are stored in the balls.

CleverLetter

What about AFAB Allomancers?

Brandon Sanderson

You have to remember, um, Ruin and Preservation created humanity on Scadrial as they saw fit. They mostly copied Yolish humans, but—

CleverLetter

*intrigued* But they gave everyone balls?

Brandon Sanderson

Yeah, yeah I’ll go ahead and canonize that. Yeah, Ruin gave everyone testicles so he could kick them. Hard. He’s uh not very nice, not as nice as Mraize, you could say.

HeavierThanDeath

Wait, haven’t you confirmed cock-and-ball torture is more up Sel’s alley? Because of—

Brandon Sanderson

Yes, but Devotion and Dominion didn’t think of that. The lesbians I know don’t think about testes much, so I didn’t think Aona and Skai would consider those. They found… *excited hesitatation* Let’s just say they found other ways to adapt the population for easier BDSMing.

DiscordA5B

Such as?

Brandon Sanderson

*ominous look* RAFO, you know I can’t answer that. I can’t go giving away plot twists like that. I’ve given you too much about Zellion’s motives already. Uh, I did tell Christopher Paolini, though. But he can’t tell you, Tor’s assassins threatened him into an NDA. Um, so don’t bug him about it. *looks around warily* Don’t tell T0m Dqwerty I said that.

Footnote: Note to Arcanists, that last paragraph should be stricken from the recording before this gets approved for public viewing.

Nalthis Essay release party (May 5, 2059)

[lazyturtleshell]

Brandon Sanderson

Look, I don't want to say the chussy crowd are flat-out wrong. I don't want to shut anyone down. This is your book and you can read it how you want, right? But I think when people hear it they're going to think "chest pussy." "Chullussy" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue but it's a lot clearer. That's probably what Syl would call it.

Ray-Con Steel Nexus (December 9, 2024)

[lazyturtleshell]

i just ate a crepe so delicious juicy and good im about to forgive french people

[lazyturtleshell]

[lazyturtleshell]

[lazyturtleshell]

im mutuals with someone in central europe b y gooood this cant

i need to sleep I got dnd in 7 hours

hey like. what time zone are you in. asking as a person who can’t sleep in PST

CET babyyyy

[lazyturtleshell]

Moash was the only one lying

[lazyturtleshell]

just learned that the covid vaccines don’t actually have autism in them. think I’m gonna puke.

[lazyturtleshell]

I know that officially Doctor Mario is just Mario dressed as a doctor, but I choose to believe that he’s Mario from an alternate timeline because it’s the option that lends itself to shenanigans.

Doctor Mario: Welp gotta head home. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we’ve got an early flight to Delfino we have to catch

Mario:

Doctor Mario: Y’know most people follow that up with a little, ‘hey, happy anniversary’ or-

Mario: You’re married??

Doctor Mario:

Doctor Mario: You’re not????

Mario: No!! Who are you married to?????

Doctor Mario: To Tony!!!

Mario:

Doctor Mario:

Mario: WHO’S TONY??????

Doctor Mario: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO’S TONY’???????????