laviedepaloma

[laviedepaloma]

That One Casual Dating Guy!

You might be saying, "Oh what a cliché! She is writing about casual dating". Well it definitely is! And believe me Casual dating was something I didn't want to write about, but someone has to put it out there.....What is Casual Dating? For me casual dating is nothing more than just meeting a guy occasionally for a physical and emotional relationship without any commitment of a romantic relationship. Just pure sex! ....... You see where I am going with this topic. We can also talk a bit about Fuck boys.... Why not? Wait!  Isn't guys who want to casual date Fuck boys?

What is it about Men and Casual Dating? are they scared to be lonely?  Is it the commitment?I asked myself these questions whenever I hear a guy telling me they do not want anything serious.. I've learned the hard way that casual dating it's not for me. It might had worked when I was in my early 20's, still in college and not wanting a serious relationship, but let's be honest every girl deep inside her wants some sort of commitment from a guy. Why don't we put all those guys  wanting to casual date with all those girls wanting the same. Where are the guys that actually want something serious?   I haven't yet  found one. Also casual dating can eventually become a serious relationship. I've seen it happen to other girls, but not for me.. 50/50 chance but I am not willing to take the risk. I am 26 years old and I don't think I am at an age to be casual dating anymore. I haven't been on a serious relationship in 3 years and within time I feel it's harder to find someone wanting something serious.

I remember this one time I was dating a guy while I was In Texas.  I met him through my sister's boyfriend , who actually was his brother.. Does that makes sense?  so I was dating my sisters boyfriend's brother.. Since I will not mention any names lets call this guy "X". Okay, So I was Dating X and here is the thing X didn't live in Texas, X lived in California and we actually  got matched by my sister and her boyfriend. Somehow they thought we would be a good match........... So X and I chatted  for a while. We texted, voice call, and video chat and everything seem really good. We actually liked each other and I am not going to lie .. I liked him a lot. He was around 29 I believe, turning 30 and I was only 22 or 23 years old. I felt he was mature and that's what actually attracted me about him. So he decided to invite me to Cali and I accepted. When I was there,it was great.  We spent a whole weekend together and he took me to all these amazing places that I loved.  I also met his friends which was little nerve-racking but I remember it went well. I was just nervous being surrounded by couples. Since most of his friends had girlfriend's or a wife. I spent a great weekend there and I really liked the guy but it upset me that he lived far from me. Unfortunately, I had to go back to Texas because I was going to school during that time. Everything was going great! Even though was back we stilled talked and all that. There was some days were he started getting a little weird. X was acting not as usual and I was starting to feel strange about this whole situation. One day we got into a little argument. I really don't remember what it was about, it was a long time ago. But next thing X says is we are too far(which I totally agreed with him) and  we should  not do this, maybe we can just casual date and meet once in a while that's what he said.

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................take a deep breath........................................................

A moment of silence  for that comment. Much needed! Btw, all of this was by text. So unprofessional! I was just silence for a while and I told X , 'I am sorry but I will not do that. I am not one of those girls that casual date .. you should probably find a trashy woman who wants to do that (no offense to anyone but I was upset at that moment.) I stopped for a second and thought about all of this and I kind of understood were he was coming from. We where far and we didn't have time for each other; Specially me. I was a full-time student and couldn't handle that shit.We broke up and didn't talked for a while.  My sister kind of apologized to me because at that time she was also having problems with her boyfriend.. they also ended things. Apparently they were both looking to casual date LOL.. I mean him and his brother not my sister.X would contact me occasionally to video chat but he would state that he wanted to see more of me. He would say something like this "Show me Booty"........ Yup.  What a Fuck Boy!!!!! Of course I rejected that. Not even if I was crazy I would do that. It pissed me off!

So time went by and I found out that X had a girlfriend. I deleted him from all my social media. I didn't wanted to see that F*****ng shit. Two years passed and somehow  we got in contact again. He actually text me saying something like this, " I am sorry if I ever did something to make you upset.. I want to apologize. My girlfriend just cheated on me and I didn't know how it felt causing damage to other people until now".  I thought, In your face Bitch!!!!! Lol. The only thing I wrote was, It's okay it happens that was a long time ago.I don't like holding grudges thats why I always try to be the better person.

So the reason I shared this story with you all it's because that was the first time I heard about casual dating. I  hadn't heard about casual dating! I wasn't even aware that was a thing. when he texted and told me that we should casual date, I actually had to google it because I didn't know what he meant by that. Maybe I was little dumb  at that time....Anyways, this is just the beginning. I have a better story for you all that actually happened to me recently.

I am going to go in to deep with a recent experience I had...........So I recently met a guy. He actually contacted me on an app and just FYI it is not a dating app. Just so everyone knows the app is called Swarm and it is use to check in into places like; cinemas, restaurants, supermarkets, parks, clubs, bars etc.. I am sure everyone knows about foursquare.. so it's partnered with swarm, they are the same. We had a friend in common so I am guessing he was stalking LOL......... Ok off topic back to my story.

He contacted me and we started talking and getting to know each other. Like I said I will not mention names so lets called this douche "Y". So we exchanged pictures(not nudes) and phone number. He told me about his friend having cancer and him taking care of him since he had chemo and he was weak. I felt sorry about that and we connected because I  had a family member who had cancer as well. Despite that, we had other things in common.We both liked similar things like music festivals and traveling etc.. Y and I talked for about 3 days straight back and forth and then we finally decided to meet. It didn't took so long to meet.That's why that was one of the main reason i thought he really liked me because he wanted to meet me soon. Unlike some other guys you can talk to them for a while but never ask you out.

So we went out and he took me to an Italian restaurant in Newport beach. We ate deliciously and ordered wine.We were having great conversation so, after that we went to a bar near the restaurant and had more wine. We were having a great time, amazing conversation and there was chemistry..........Well at least I felt there was.The night ended , so he dropped me off  and walked me all the way to my door and we kissed and said goodnight.I know romantic shit... hahah  We went on another date to the movies the following day. This time I met him at his place because the movie theater was closer to his house and we wanted to get there on time.So when i got to his place we talked for a bit in and he started to get a little bit too close... Kissing me and getting a little carried away. It kind of gave me the impression that he just wanted to do something else. (And before you all start wondering No, I didn't have sex with him!)  That's when I said okay we should go to the cinema is getting late and he was like yea yeah  sorry...-_-  We watched, "Going in style". Which btw, it's really funny and you should all watch it. So since the movie started late, We were the only ones in the theater. Literally, no one else showed up to that movie but us. Lol. So we ordered food because it was that type of movie theater you can order food and relax. He was  holding my hand all through the movie  and hold my head against his chest. I felt a little uncomfortable at the beginning, but I really liked him so I didn't care. When the movie was over he drove back to his place and asked me not to drive late to my house. Y actually asked me to stay for longer but I kindly said, "no".  He didn't pressured me and he told me when you get home please call me and I said, I will. I got home and called him. We talked for a little while and he said, you are not even sleeping yet you should had spent the night... I thought, okay what are this guy intentions. I simply said, no I have to sleep I work early tomorrow and he replied, its fine I will text you tomorrow have a goodnight. I Was really attracted to Y and I hadn't like someone in so long.He was dreamy! I  liked him that much that I didn't really wanted to mess things up with him.. He was gentleman always opening his car door for me. He wouldn't let me  get out until he opened the door for me. All that good stuff a girl wants. Oh! and btw, I forgot to mentioned  that he is still in school doing his Bachelors and he is 27. I didn't let that bothered me because he seemed to have his life together.

We planned to meet that weekend. Everything was going  fine he would text me good morning everyday and so on.  So... when the weekend came, I had not  heard from him. My friend called me that day to go out. I didn't know if to go or not because Y and I had planned meeting. So I decided to text him. I said,  Hey are we going to meet today or not? Y responded, Hey sorry I've been studying all day. I have midterms coming up not sure what time I will finish. Do you have other plans? Like, honestly who studies on the weekends... I never did lol. Anyways, Not everyone is the same. I told him yes my friend invited me out and I am going to go with her. He said, yes I don't want you to wait for anything. If i finish early I will let you know. (He never finished early because he didn't let me know)......I just said okay. He kind of suspected that I was upset because then he replied, I am really sorry just school stuff with a lame ass kiss emoji and a rose.......How lame!!! First of all I hate waiting for people and the fact that he couldn't text me to tell me he was studying, pissed the living shit out of me. That is why I just decided to go out with my friend and I actually had a good time. The weekend was over and that Monday he didn't text me until 4 pm. What had change?  Why was he being like that? I asked myself. Maybe he was just busy, but still. Honestly it was the beginning and I was already feeling shitty  that was not a good sign. The only thing he said at 4 pm was; Hey, really busy this week..  what am I supposed to f*****g answer? All i said , yea I bet school stuff and all that. Y replied, yea. how was your day? I responded, My day was great its over finally! I had too much work. All he said, was nice.... Nice??? Really just nice??? What is that supposed to mean. In my opinion it means, B***h, I don't want to talk to you I am cutting you off.. I was like, What in the world is going on with this as***le. I texted him, Honestly I don't like small talk.. And he said, I like your honesty, it's just right now I am too busy studying.. You are too busy studying that you have to text like an idiot? If you are too busy studying then don't text me. If there is any man reading this? Tell me if  I am wrong, But when you really like someone you will not text like a douche no matter how busy you are. Also even though you are busy you will try to text her.  It's not like you don't have breaks in between your studying. I mean you go to the restroom right? you can text while you are pooping...lol

In that moment I was like, WOW!  I told Y, "I am sorry but I am not gonna waste my time. I understand you are busy with school. I know I've been there! But I just want to make things clear to you"."I am not here to play games or mess around. I want to meet someone get to know each other because I want something serious". I  also said, I don't like being second plate from anyone. I really didn't appreciate you not letting me know you were going to be busy this weekend after we had made plans.You guys can call me crazy or psycho. Whatever you all want but at this point in my life I've been hurt so much that I have trust issues. I should have made things clearer from the beginning. I didn't know what Y was thinking. He wrote, I am sorry you were not second plate. I just didn't know it was going to take me a while to study. I apologize for that. Then he said  I really like you, but I don't want anything serious right now. I want to meet someone and get to know each other and see where it goes......

Ok, let me stop  for a minute and brainstorm what he just said. For starters  if you don't want anything serious, Why in the world you want to get to know someone and see where it goes??   That's actually what happens when you are dating someone. You get to know each other and then it flows..... So is that how dating should be now a days? Should it start casual and then we will see if it gets serious.... Are you effing Joking me!!!! Just another Fuck Boy!  For me dating should be; I am going to get  to know you. Then  we will see how it goes and see if we like each other, but i am not gonna casual date you or have sex with you whatsoever. Honestly Y didn't make sense. I feel that he said that so that he wont sounded like a douche, but I know for sure all he wanted was well you all know .. Sex! He still sounded like a douche!After all that I just told him I am sorry we are not looking for the same things. I want to meet someone and get to know them, but I want something serious. Then all he freaking said, I am sorry, It was nice meeting you. Have a nice day! I had already said good things about him to some of my friends.. How embarrassing is to tell your friends he is another FuckBoy!!

That was me minus the crying. I wasn't going to shed a tear for a guy that I just dated for a little bit. Beyonce still looks good no matter what. Lol. Y is history and  I will not talk to someone who showed no interest in me.So we don't talk anymore........

I am not sure why some men prefer the whole casual dating thing. If any guy wants to comment below and give their personal opinion you are more than welcomed to do so.I know that many girls have been through this. I just wanted to share this with you because I want people to relate to my stories and to know they are not alone. We all go through similar things. Just remember there is Fuckboys everywhere. BE AWARE OF THEM! Also make sure you make things clear from the beginning to the guy you are dating or at least  know that he is not playing games. You all can do whatever you want. ;) I am not the best person to give advice as you can see from my stories. Like I said, I've learned the hard way and made so many mistakes in the past that I am not proud of, but everyone makes mistakes. We make mistakes so that we can learn from them.  I always make the same mistake twice just to make sure you know. LOL

Moral of the story , do not meet guys online.. haha Jk. It can happen! I mean I've seen so many successful stories of people meeting their partner online. I am sure there is guys out there that want something serious. Well for me it hasn't work. At least not for now, but I kind of want to meet someone in person. The online thing is kind of overrated now a days..I am just wondering when will be the day I find someone, but for now I am taking a break with the dating situation. I haven't yet to find the one and I don't know if I ever will.

I hope you guys enjoyed my story. I know it was a little bit too long and hopefully didn't bore you, but if you all liked it, please leave likes and comments. You can also give me some advice.I am willing to read anything for good advice.

Again don't judge my grammar.. I think this time I tried to write better than last time. You all can be the judge of that!

The End!

[laviedepaloma]

My First post ever!

Where should I start....

It all began when I moved to SoCal...

My life wasn't going according to plan back in Texas. I had recently graduated from University and  I was a bit stuck helping my parents get their USA residency. The process of  helping my parents took 9 months and finally when they got their papers.. I felt relieved( I was finally able to move out and  find a job and start my professional career).

Little that I know it wasn't that easy. My first plan was to moved to Dubai .. but that didn't go so well. Not only because I couldn't find a job but I also didn't had enough money to  go and stay there and  find a job. I had spent so much money on going out and  helping a friend in need. I decided to stay in the US and get some experience  and maybe later on move to my so beloved  Dubai.

I met this guy online that lives in LA  and started talking to him almost everyday. He talked about how great California was and that it was a great place to live.. despite of  how expensive the cost of living is. I always loved California and it was a place I wanted to move when I graduated from High School... which also didn't happen because I was too young to be living by myself (according to my Dad).  I decided to apply to some jobs and visit California and see what my options were.

I visited LA twice and it wasn't until the second time I visited that I got a job. A job that wasn't exactly what I wanted. For starters the location wasn't in LA  it was actually in OC (Orange county) which is still a pretty cool place to live I have to admit.

That shitty Job was my only excuse to move because I no longer wanted to live in Texas. The next step  was to find a place to live.. after hours of searching  and investigating areas near my Job, I just couldn't find anything. OK here it goes...... but don't judge me, I went on Craigslist. Yup! Craigslist was my last resort and my only key to find something. I said to myself "How bad can it be, its worth the try" Lol. I am not gonna lie it wasn't easy but i founded a great place to live In Huntington Beach only 2 miles away from the beach at a great price( to be exact only $725 a month utilities included and  did I mention we have a pool!)  it was just unbelievable. The people reading this in SoCal please don't be jelly Haha. That's why we should never judge a book by its cover.. I didn't judge craigslist neither should you.. okay maybe just a little bit somethings can be super sketchy there I have to  admit. I was just lucky and now I really love the place where I live. The tenant and my roommates are great and I can't complain. The only thing is maybe I share a bathroom but that's about it...

Okay taking my story back to that time. I had finally found a place and I was so ready to go back to Texas pack all my things and move to SoCal. That's exactly what i did. Took the first plane back to Texas and  I started packing. Call me crazy but i drove from Texas all the way OC all by myself  hahaha. It took me a week  to pack   and exactly one day of driving if it wasn't because I stopped in Arizona to rest. When I finally got to LA I had all that weekend to sleep  and rest before I started my job on Monday.

My Job literally sucked no joke... It was the worst job I ever had. I was working 12 to 14 hrs a day  for  only minimum wage (commission base only) . I had no time for myself I had weekends off  and they were begging me to work on Saturdays like for real? This wasn't explained to me when  I got interviewed which was so unprofessional...I did knew the kinda job  that I was doing . I only wanted an excuse to move out.  A month passed and i was slowly getting tired of this job ... you may be thinking a Month and tired of the job already .. Well yes! It sucked that much... In march  I went on a business trip for the job.. and in that trip i decided to quit  i wasn't getting enough money and management was so rude and inconsiderate to their employees. I had no benefits no 401k ... nothing. I was talking to my sister that night  that I decided I was gonna quit once the trip was over  and one of my coworkers overheard that I was telling her  that and that I  also had a job interview that coming Monday.. Next thing one of the managers called me and asked me if everything was okay and i said, Yes everything is fine. She then said, "so why you want to quit' and i was like who said i wanted to quit?????? I overheard she said..  she was  far from me the only one that could have said anything was  my  coworker who  I realized was a snitch.......  Then my manager said  I also overhead you have job interview on Monday. I felt threaten  by her and I told her, yes I do is there a problem.. I am allowed to do it.  There is no words to express how unprofessional this was. To the point that she even said we are sending all of you back home when the week wasn't even finished. We still had more day of work there!  Thankfully I was only 3 hours far from my home, So I drove back home that Friday night and on Saturday I wrote my resignation letter. In a way it had to happen this way because it open my eyes that I was being exploited by this company. There is so many things to go on detail about this but I will not go into it ...You can already see it sucked!

I had no friends since this job consumed me a lot.  I did had friend who would call me occasionally and he was I guess the only person I could talk about what happen and my life. He is the kind of person who would talk to me for a long period of time and then he would disappear for also a long period of time. I haven't talk to him in like a month.. So he is not a reliable friend. I was without a job for about 3 weeks to be exact. In those 3 weeks I focused on finding another job. I had several job interviews and no luck. I was nervous and desperate for a job.. You know I have bills to pay everyone does. The only thing that saved me was my tax return.. and  I thank God for that.  I went into old habits of talking to strangers online on a virtual chat that I used to use a long time ago. I believe that kind of helped me to distract myself and talk to people since I had absolutely no friends. I met cool people that I talk to now and its been great so far.  During that time I also met a girl that lives near me and now we are good friends.. I enjoy hanging out with her a lot.

The third week I finally got a call from a recruiter. She had found me a good job. I did the interview and in less than a week I had a job already. Things just started to fall into place and I was finally getting my life back. I forgot to mentioned while I was unemployed I decided to become a vegetarian and its been a great month without meat. I feel amazing! I am not saying I will never eat meat again but I can definitely say we don't need meat in our systems.

For now I dedicate my time to getting the best out of life and to be a better person.  I feel like my life has just started and that definitely this chapter will be a good one. Moving to another state wasn't easy at the beginning but now  I feel blessed and I know many good things will come my way. I miss my family back in Texas but I know my Dad is proud of me and that was my initial goal in moving out. I really wanted to show him that i can be independent and that I am grown woman. Even though I miss Texas I know  living there wasn't for me. I love California specially the surf city I live in. :)

This is my first post ever ..I will try to post twice a week so wait for my other posts coming out soon! I have a topic that I think some people,  specially women can relate to.

OH! btw writing is not my strongest....so don't judge me if my grammar isn't the best lol

The End...

[laviedepaloma]

Experiences

IF there is something you  must do before you die, is traveling  alone.

by PR