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lavenderlegends · 4 days ago

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this made my whole day. thank you so much @letskzuniverse 🥹😭💕

love me anyway

Nova (they/them) is coming home for the holidays. They've just been dumped and fired, so they're not exactly looking forward to spending the holidays with their dad and stepmom.

They're even less happy about continuously running into their ex-crush, Ali (she/her). Ali was the girl of Nova's dreams growing up until she kept asking Nova out in an attempt to humiliate them for being different in their small town. Now, Ali is a successful small business owner who just wants a chance to prove Nova was wrong about her then, and they're wrong about her now.

inspired by "Love Me Anyway" by Chappell Roan, prompted by a friend

Part One

✿✿✿

There are many things that Nova loves. Going home for the holidays is not one of them. They're already dreading the interrogation they'll get once they arrive at their dad's. Nova's stepmom, Zoe, will be all about their romantic life (it's dead, you guys, there is no romantic life) and Nova's dad, Henry, will be all about their career (which Nova could've handled until they were laid off two weeks ago).

As Nova drives into their little town, they are already regretting this decision. They should've stayed in the city with their roommate, ate fourteen tubs of ice cream, and begged Shelly's cat to hang out with them. But no. Instead, Nova is surrounded by their past and dreading their future.

When their phone rings, Nova frowns and answers. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Hello to you too!" he says, sounding chippier than usual. "Hey, do you think you could swing by Alison's Bakery and pick up some cupcakes? And before you yell at me about my sugar intake, this is for Zoe's book club."

"Oh, uh," Nova stammers. There's no way out of this. Their dad could easily look up their location at any point and see they're already in town. Nova's not sure their dad ever has looked up their location in the app, but it was part of the agreement seven years ago when Nova left after high school. Nova's never removed him, because it weirdly gives them some comfort. They sigh. "Sure, Dad. I'm just coming into town now so I'll plug it into maps."

"You don't need to do that. It's right beside the grocery store." Henry chuckles. "You city-folk are too reliant on technology these days. See you soon, honey."

"Love you," Nova says.

"Love you too!" Henry calls out as he's clearly pulling the phone away from his ear.

Nova has to go around the block to backtrack to the grocery store parking lot. They pull into a spot close by the road and park. There's only one building beside the town's grocery store, so Nova makes their way to it while texting their roommate.

Shelly you were wrong, I should've stayed home

That, my dear Nova, remains to be seen yet. Have you even got there yet???

Just as Nova types a response explaining the pit stop, they almost slip on some ice outside the front steps of the bakery. "Jesus!"

Nova makes their way inside the bakery. The aromas of the bakery are almost instantly soothing.

"Hello and welcome to Alison's Bakery!"

The cheery voice sends a prickle of familiarity up Nova's spine. Without looking up from their phone, they say, "You should really salt the sidewalk out there. Almost wiped out and sued you."

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I salted it this morning, but I must have missed a spot. Are you okay?"

And it's in that instant they realize who Alison of Alison's Bakery is.

"Ali Maclaren?" Nova squeaks.

"Oh my god!" Ali squeals. "Hi. It's been so long. What, uh, what are you going by these days?"

Nova freezes halfway in the middle of the small bakery between some tables. "So--sorry?"

"Oh, I ran into your stepmom a few years ago. She said that you were trying on new names." Ali beams. "Just want to make sure I have the right one."

"Oh." Nova's brain scrambles.

How is this the same girl they went to school with? Ali was a popular, cheery blonde who was constantly asking Nova out as a joke. Some joke. Nova never fell for the prank though. Their responses got more mean as time went on, but Nova didn't know why Ali kept trying. Over and over again.

"Nova," they finally manage before walking slowly up to the counter. "I, um, I go by Nova."

"Oooh," Ali says, grinning like nothing's wrong. Like she didn't spend years torturing Nova with the idea of them. Like she didn't know that Nova used to have such a crush on Ali. "That really suits you. You are one-hundred percent a Nova!"

"Um, thanks."

"It's so good to see you," Ali gushes. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine," Nova mutters. They're not particularly in the mood to bond with their high school bully. "Can I just get an assortment of cupcakes to go, please?"

Ali looks almost . . . disappointed? But that can't be right. Nova shoves their hands inside their pockets.

"Right, sure. How many?"

"A dozen is fine," Nova says, unsure how many people are actually in Zoe's book club. Can't be more than twelve people . . . can it? They don't know and they don't care to know.

"Sure thing," Ali says, ducking down behind the glass display.

Nova takes a deep breath. This is a personal nightmare. They definitely should've stayed with Shelly and her cat.

"Is that all for today?" Ali asks, her voice hesitant as if she wants to say more.

"Yep," Nova says, popping the 'p' like a teenager. They hate this feeling. It's uncomfortable being around Ali. It's like she hasn't changed a bit. She's just filled out more, and her freckles are a little more prominent. But she's probably the same ol' Ali. The one who wanted so badly to humiliate Nova.

Just . . . owning a bakery now.

"Here you go. On the house." Ali hands a bag over across the counter to Nova.

"Wait--what?" Nova shakes their head. "No, I'll pay. I insist."

"And I insist more that it's on the house. After all, Henry and Zoe are some of my best customers." Ali nudges the bag forward and Nova reluctantly accepts.

"Thanks," Nova mutters.

Nova's almost halfway to the door of the bakery when Ali calls out, "I don't bite, you know!"

"Don't forget to salt the sidewalk," Nova calls back without looking.

Shit, shit, shit.

Nova's heart pounds quickly.

There's no way that little blonde woman has gotten under their skin again . . . right? Right. Except Ali's big blue eyes aren't the only thing that Nova's thinking about the entire drive to their dad's. No. Ali's excitement to see Nova again seemed almost genuine. Except that makes no sense.

Ali asked Nova out at summer camp in the summer leading to eighth grade. She had looked so pretty, despite being covered in mud. They'd both been chasing a soccer ball until they slid straight down into the muddiest puddle. They were laughing and Ali ran her hand down Nova's cheek, leaving a streak of mud behind.

It was the moment of Nova's dreams.

And then Nova heard the giggling from some of the other campers. Their heart sank and they knew. They knew that everything changed once they came out as nonbinary and queer. That Ali was only asking to mock them. That it would never be real between them.

"Hey kiddo!" Henry says when Nova steps inside. "I'm so happy you're back for the holidays!"

"Yeah, me too." And for a moment, Nova really is happy to be back. They hug their dad and it feels like everything might be okay. They point to where they set the bag of cupcakes onto the bench and say, "I got Zoe's cupcakes."

"Oh, great!" Henry says, grinning. "Did you run into Ali?"

"I did . . . why didn't you tell me that it was Ali Maclaren who owned the bakery?" Nova asks, kicking off their shoes as their dad picks up the bag with the cupcake box.

"Didn't think of it," Henry says, cheerfully. Almost too cheerfully.

"Dad," they warn as they trail after him down the hall.

"Honey, look who has arrived and saved the day!" Henry calls out when he enters the kitchen.

Zoe gets up from the dining room table and claps her hands together. "Oh! Nova, don't you look darling. And thank you for picking up the cupcakes! I was busy decorating for the book club tonight and totally spaced on them!"

"No worries," Nova says, smiling absentmindedly. They look around and take it all in. Everything has been decorated for the holidays. "It looks great, Zoe."

"Thank you, dear." Zoe opens the bag with the cupcakes and her eyebrows jump up. "Oh. I think there's something in here for you, Nova."

"Huh? No, it should just be the box of cupcakes," Nova says, but sure enough, Zoe pulls out a single box.

It's decorated with stars and asteroids and the night sky. "Oh, honey, isn't that thoughtful of Ali?"

"Y--yeah."

Nova reaches for the box and carefully opens it, expecting a cupcake. Instead, it's a chocolate brownie. It smells divine - that's undeniable. But . . . why would Ali do this?

Maybe it's a peace offering. To make up for all the humiliation she tried to put Nova through. To make up for how she knew about Nova's crush and continued to tease her by asking them out over the years.

"Do either of you want a brownie?" Nova asks. "I'm - I'm staying away from sugar."

It's a boldface lie, and by the looks of it, both Henry and Zoe know it.

"No, thanks, dear," Zoe says, and Henry shakes his head.

"Hm. Well, maybe I can make an exception . . ." Nova lets the words trail off.

Nova leaves the box with the brownie on the counter as they go to finish grabbing their stuff from the car. Before their last trip to their old bedroom, Nova grabs the brownie. Honestly, they want to see if Ali is even good at her job. It'd be sweet revenge if she was awful.

But she's not.

In fact, it's the best damn brownie Nova's ever had.

Dammit.

"Nova, just so you know, we're being kicked out at seven for Zoe's book club!" Henry yells upstairs. "I was thinking we could get a late dinner, get caught up?"

"Sounds good!" Nova shouts back.

Nova finishes the last bite of the brownie and closes the box. There's a little note taped to the top.

When did Ali even have the time? Nova wonders, but flips the paper open. It's just a generic Happy holidays! message and nothing else.

Nova's shoulders drop.

It was silly to hope that Ali had written something sweet inside it.

It was silly to hope that Ali had changed as a person at all, actually. Silly to hope that the girl Nova had crushed on was still inside her at all.

And yet . . . Nova finds themselves looking up Alison's Bakery on Instagram and finding Ali's account. It's private, and Nova doesn't dare add her. That'd be like opening Pandora's box. No, thank you.

Nova's not ready for that.

#lav posts #lav writes #text #photos #happy things #i want to keep this forever

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lavenderlegends · 5 days ago

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hi! i’m looking for some nonbinary/trans books. preferably middle grade, maybe younger YA. queer joy is a bonus!

You got it! There are all MG, with asterisks signifying books coming later in the year:

Trans Boys:

Obie is Man Enough by Schuyler Bailar

The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean

Dear Mothman by Robin Gow

The Other Boy by M.G. Hennessey

Too Bright to See by Kyle Lukoff

Trans Girls:

Zenobia July by Lisa Bunker

Joy, to the World by Lisa Bunker and Kai Shappley

Melissa by Alex Gino

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky

The Deep & Dark Blue by Niki Smith (Graphic Novel)

The Ojja-Wojja by Magdalene Visaggio (text) and Jenn St-Onge (illustration) (Graphic Novel)

Nonbinary MCs:

*Deephaven by Ethan M. Aldridge

Moonflower by Kacen Callender

Alice Austen Lived Here by Alex Gino

*Green by Alex Gino

*The Lonely Book by Meg Grehan

Skating on Mars by Caroline Huntoon

*Elle Campbell Saves Their Saturday by Ben Kahn

Both Can Be True by Jules Machias (Genderfluid)

The One Who Loves You Most by medina – A

Rabbit Chase by Elizabeth LaPensée and K.C. Oster (Graphic Novel)

Tiger Honor by Yoon Ha Lee

Sir Callie and the Champions of Helston by Esme Symes-Smith

The Beautiful Something Else by Ash Van Otterloo

Spin With Me by Ami Polonsky

Jude Saves the World by Ronnie Riley

Ana on the Edge by A.J. Sass

Ellen Outside the Lines by AJ Sass

Camp QUILTBAG by Nicole Melleby and AJ Sass

The Fabulous Zeb Watson! by Kevin Sylvester and Basil Sylvester

The Best Liars in Riverview by Lin Thompson

The House that Whispers by Lin Thompson (Amz)

*The Otherwoods by Justine Pucella Winans

There is also very significant nonbinary representation in Different Kinds of Fruit by Kyle Lukoff, Twelfth by Janet Key, and A Touch of Ruckus by Ash Van Otterloo.

In younger YA, there's not a ton, but I'd definitely give a shout to the genderqueer paranormal Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve, and I think the trans girl graphic novel romance Cheer Up! could work too!

(If you want all these links on one page, and/or to track ones coming up even further in the future, here's the MG page: https://lgbtqreads.com/middle-grade/)

#queer books #trans books #books #bookblr #my kind of books

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