l0v3-stay

[l0v3-stay]

THAT’S HOW WE MET

A Park Sunghoon ff.

Word count: 15k words

Chapters: 1 (2.5k words) 2 (2.7k words) 3 (2.9k words) 4 (2.7k words) 5 (2k words) 6 (2.1k words) 7 (13 words)

Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, No smut, Suggestive, Lots of kissing, Neck kissing, Suggested pregnancy, fireworks, Sunghoon and reader just love each other too much ;) Lmk if I missed anything!!

A/N: Hellooooooo! Hope you'll like this story!! The pics of the chats are mine, but all the others aren't!! Credits to their respective owners!!

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ Find me on AO3: L0V3_STAY

ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ Find me on WATTPAD: l0v3_stay

₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Comments, Feedback and requests are highly appreciated!! <3

ㅤ/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Have fun reading and take care <3

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1

“    “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…” These were the only words echoing in my head as my feet moved to the rhythm of the music. The CEO’s eyes pointed towards me as he carefully watched my every move, not missing out anything, not even how many times I blinked or breathed. Everyone was watching me, the choreographer, the lyricist, the producer, the CEO… All of their eyes pierced holes onto my skin as I tried not to let anxiety get to me. The music ended along with my dance as I posed, imagining I was an Idol already. Everyone clapped as I bowed elegantly, trying to look as confident as possible, as if I wasn’t being eaten from the inside out by my anxiety and uncertainty about the future and my performance. 

“You can leave.” The CEO spoke coldly, so cold I thought he was mad about something I didn’t even know. Maybe my performance wasn’t good enough? Maybe I should’ve put more effort into my moves? I should’ve been more expressive? I don’t know, I won’t know until a few months later when the results will come out. For now, thinking about it and having anxiety attacks is useless, it will just make everything even worse. 

I walked out of the structure slowly, my hands slightly shaking as if they were leaves being moved by the wind. I slowly made my way to a nearby cafe, one of my favorite cafes in the area and sat at a table near the window in the corner. My phone started vibrating inside my pocket, it was my best friend, Mina, calling me. I answered.

“How did the audition go, girly?”

Her voice made me feel like a kid receiving a candy, my heart melting like ice cream at the thought of having such an amazing friend. A friend like Mina was everything I had wished for when I was a kid. We’ve been friends since childhood and I still remember every detail of the moment I met her. We were at a friend’s pajama party and she had invited both of us. I was scared to go due to my sleep problems, but Mina was there to help with them even if we had just met. She sometimes sends me texts to remind me to take my melatonin and charge my speaker for the nights in which I turn on soft background songs to help me fall asleep. I get snapped back to reality as soon as I hear Mina’s voice through the phone again, this time sounding worried, probably scared about the fact that my audition might have gone the wrong way.

“Are you there, girl?” She asks, I know she’s fidgeting with something on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, sorry” I pause for a second before speaking again, my voice reassuring “The audition went well, I think. The CEO sounded scary when he told me I could leave, even if I don’t know if he was mad about something. But hey, even if the results of my audition won’t be the ones we are hoping for, it was worth trying!” I say, trying to cheer her up, even if my nervousness was evident in my voice even through the call. 

The rest was all small talk as Mina tried to distract me by talking about her new house in japan, about her new university and her part-time job as a babysitter during the weekends. She told me about one of the kids she babysitted in particular, Jihyoung, a korean child that had recently moved to japan. She told me how his favorite group was Enhypen too, just like me, and how he wished to become an idol when he was older. Mina also described his reaction when she told him that I was auditioning under the same company as Enhypen, it was hilarious. 

A sigh escaped my lips as we ended the call, finally being able to grab a coffee for myself to ease the tiredness caused by my sleepless nights. As the waiter approached me with the coffee in his hand, looking extremely good, I’m not going to lie, a small smile formed on my lips. I took the coffee happily, thanking the waiter with a polite bow while warming my hands against the hot paper cup, before leaving, making my way to an ice skating rink. 

I walked carefully in the huge crowd on the street, a soft breeze hitting my skin as I waited for the light to turn green to cross the road. My feet moved at the rhythm of an unknown tune in my head, the imaginary beat soft and slow, as if it should help ease my anxiety somehow. As I finally reach the ice skating rink, I notice a crowd of people all gathered around a van in front of the entrance of the structure. As I got closer, I noticed some members of the security asking me who I was and if I had the pass to enter the rink. I took out my wallet along with my pass that I had previously bought to be able to keep skating, even if my audition went wrong. They quickly moved to the side, letting me enter the structure without asking any more questions. 

As I made my way towards the changing rooms, I noticed that I was alone except for a male skater already warming up on the ice. I enter the changing rooms, changing in a simple white skirt and a sporty, black sleeveless top. My skates white and neat, soft, black le warmers resting perfectly on my legs as I make my way to the rink. 

As I made my way to the rink, I saw the male skater stopping and coming closer to my direction. I looked down just to notice a black, not too big, backpack on the floor, resting against the wall. I assumed it was his. As I look up again, his face is familiar. 

I stare at him as gets closer, looking at his face more closely.

Park Sunghoon.  THE Park Sunghoon.

I froze there in my place, staring at him with wide eyes. It’s like my mind went blank, not even realizing that he was now crouching right next to me, grabbing his water bottle from his backpack. 

“Hello” He speaks, his voice sounding a little confused as I was still staring right at him. He slowly stands up, drinking some water from his bottle, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in the hottest way possible, making me feel like a cube of ice melting. 

“H-Hello” I answered, quickly averting my gaze as soon as I realized that I’ve been staring. I bow politely at him, regaining my composure.

“Seems like we’re alone here” He spoke with a slight chuckle, putting his bottle away, back into his backpack. “What’s your name?” 

“Oh, I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” I said and gave him a soft smile. Talking to him was already becoming easier, even if a glint of nervousness was never leaving me. I was talking to my idol after all. 

“Y/N…” He repeated, clearly thinking “This name sounds so familiar” He said, and that’s when I felt anxiety quickly get to me.

“Oh, yeah… You’ve probably seen it on the posters with the people auditioning” My gaze was now directed towards the floor, my hand nervously scratching the back of my neck “I auditioned earlier, my dream is to become an Idol” I said again, trying my best to regain confidence. 

His eyes sparkled at my words, causing some faint blush to appear on my cheeks. I felt my ears heat up, making me even more nervous as I was now aware of my red face. 

“That’s amazing! Have you gotten the results already?” He asked excitedly, a wide smile on his face as he seemed interested in knowing more about me and my life, my dreams and my fears. 

I shook my head, hinting a silent “No”.  He pouted slightly, making a small smile form on my lips. “I’ll have the results in a couple days though, I think they’ll be announced on some posters in the building, too!” I spoke, trying to cheer him up. 

He nodded before speaking again, this time making my eyes widen a little. “If you want I can give you my number, you know, in case you need any help or advice” He gave me a kind smile while taking out his phone. I couldn’t help but notice his wallpaper with a picture of him and the rest of the members along with ENGENEs at a concert. A soft smile crept on my lips as I took out my phone too, handing it to him. He took it, his vampire-like teeth showing through his smile at the sight of a picture of me with my little sister and Mina as my wallpaper. I glanced at his hands as he inserted his number into my phone with a smile. He saved himself as “Sunghoonie ;)”, causing a soft chuckle to escape my lips. I put my phone back into my own bag after he put his number in it, thanking him with a smile and a slight bow before he spoke again.

“Who were those in your wallpaper?” Curiosity was evident in his voice as he smiled at me, sitting down on a small bench near the rink and patting the spot next to him, inviting me to sit down.

“The child sitting on my legs is my little sister” I said, a soft smile on my lips as I continued “She’s 7 years old” I added, chuckling slightly. 

“The other girl is Mina” I said, this time referring to the black-haired girl sitting next to me “She’s my best friend, I met her at a party when I was a kid” I looked over at him, who was now looking towards the floor but still carefully listened to my words.

“Oh, that’s good. Y’all are so pretty in that picture” He said, now facing me with a friendly smile. I felt my heart skip a beat and tried my best not to look like a tomato. I mumbled a quick “Thanks” before standing up, heading towards the rink. 

“Should we get to skating?” I ask with a soft smile, trying to sound as stable as possible even if my sanity was about to throw itself out of the window after his compliment. Was I dreaming?

He stood up, walking to the rink with me as we got started skating. We were doing our own skating routines without interrupting each other, and I was grateful for that, also because he looked effortlessly handsome while skating. 

I was attempting a new jump on the ice after warming up, but suddenly I don’t know what had gotten in me.

 I slipped and fell, 

the blade of my right skate hitting my left leg, leaving a bloody cut behind. 

Sunghoon rushed to me, checking my leg. I swear I saw worry in his eyes at that moment, making my chest ache in both concern and embarrassment due to my fall. 

“Wait, let me take you out of the rink…” He spoke, more to himself than to me, and picked me up. My heart was beating faster even through my pain, butterflies dancing in my stomach. He carried me out of the rink and put me down on the small bench where we were sitting earlier before he spoke again. 

“I’ll get something to medicate that, okay? Don’t move” He said before running into the changing rooms. I didn’t even notice him taking his skates off to not risk falling and hurting himself too. He came back shortly after with a medikit, taking out a bandage and slowly wrapping it around my leg after disinfecting it. His touch was gentle yet firm, making sure the bandage was wrapped tight enough to stop the bleeding. 

“Here” He spoke, sighing in relief “You scared me, you know?” He said, scolding me in a playful way. A smile appeared on my lips, it was genuine, I never felt so grateful before. We barely met and I was already comfortable with him. 

“Sorry” I said with a slight laugh “Thanks though, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were alone” I looked down, with an almost invisible smile before looking back up at him. “I guess no more skating for me today” I laughed at my statement, noticing a small smile appear on his lips too. It all felt like a dream, my leg hurt, but the rest of my emotions were covering the pain. The happiness, the nervousness, the gratefulness, the excitement, the adrenaline were covering everything. 

“No more skating for me either” He said, sitting down next to me “I’m done with my routine and one of my friends wanted to play games with me at 7” He said, pointing to the time on his phone. It was 6.30pm. 

I nodded, giving him a smile and slowly standing up, my leg hurting a bit. I was about to thank him and say bye but he cut me off. 

“How are you going home?” He stood up too after putting his shoes on. 

“On foot” I said, slightly confused. Why did that matter? Was he asking to make sure my leg was gonna be okay during the trip home?

“Oh no, you’re NOT going home on foot with that leg” He pointed at my bandage-covered leg, emphasizing the word “Not”.  “I’ll take you home” He spoke, offering me his arm to help me walk. I tried telling him it wasn’t a problem at all, that my leg hurt just a bit and was nothing serious, but he insisted for me to go home with him. 

We both got on the van, his bodyguards eyeing me along with the fans waiting for him outside. He made sure I got into the van without being pushed or hurt by the fans screaming and trying to be noticed by him. As we got in, he gave me a slight smile and in 10 minutes we were in front of my dorm’s door. 

“Is this your dorm?” He asked, pointing towards my door. I nodded in response and he hummed before pointing at a door not far from mine “You know, that’s Sunoo’s room” My mouth fell open at his statement. One of my idols was literally 2 doors away from mine and I didn’t know? He chuckled at my reaction before glancing at the time on his phone. 

“I guess I should go, I’ll let you be surprised by yourself” His words caused a laugh to escape my mouth and soft blush to creep on my cheeks.

“Wait” I said hurriedly “Thank you, Sunghoon” I gave him a grateful smile, and he smiled brightly in return. 

“No problem” He said, pointing at his phone and hinting a silent “Call me if you need anything.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I plopped myself on my bed, exhausted from the long day I just lived. A long, but definitely amazing, day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 2

“ I woke up to the sound of Given-Taken, the song I selected as my alarm before auditioning. My eyelids were heavy and my leg still hurt, but much less than yesterday. I slowly sat up, my hair messy and my back hurting a little from when I fell the previous day. I checked the time on my phone, it was 8am. My eyes traveled lower, where I noticed a notification by “Sunghoonie ;)”. I opened it, revealing a message that made me smile like an idiot. Was he always this sweet and caring?  

I answered with a quick “Yup :3”  before putting my phone down, kicking my feet with a red face and a wide smile on my face. Am I dreaming? No, this is all real. 

I stood up lazily, making my way towards the small bathroom, washing my face and doing my skincare (Gurl’s looking fresh y’all) and heading back to my bedroom. I quickly got dressed, wearing some comfy clothes since I’ll be off to practice soon. I took a note in my mind to remember that I have to check the posters on my way, just to see if I got lucky and my audition’s result is already there 

I ate an apple in the fastest way possible before rushing out of my dorm, and running towards the practice rooms. I even took the stairs so I didn’t have to wait for the elevator. I passed in front of a free practice room and left my water bottle there before making my way towards the posters in the main area of the building, my anxiety rising at each step. The sound of my shoes against the floor reminded me of bullets and the pain I would feel if I didn’t get accepted, making an unpleasant shiver run down my spine. As I saw the posters in front of me, I took a deep breath before looking for my name with shaky hands clung to my sweatpants. 

Here it is,

No results yet. 

I cursed under my breath, my heart pounding in my chest so loud that I thought even Mina would hear it from Japan. I made my way back to the practice room I saw earlier, but to my surprise it was now closed. I knocked on the door, hoping that it was just the wind or my memory playing tricks on me and I was the one who had closed the door. I already met Sunghoon yesterday, I’m not ready to meet other of my Idols yet. 

I heard a faint “Come in” coming from inside the practice room and I slowly opened the door.

Please tell me it’s not an Idol,

Please tell me it’s not an Idol,

Please tell me it’s not an Idol,

Please, please, please, please,

…

It was an Idol.

Jungwon stood right in front of me, his phone in his hand, probably selecting the song he needs to practice. 

“Sorry, I think I forgot my water bottle here earlier” I spoke, trying to control my shaky hands. It’s not my lucky day, is it?

“Oh, do you need help finding it?” He asked, his cat-like eyes now looking directly at me making me feel uneasy. I shook my head slightly and went over to the corner where I had previously left my bottle before speaking “Here it is” I held my bottle up, showing it to him with a smile.

He smiled back at me, walking a little closer “I never saw you around” He said curiously, indirecting asking me who I was. 

“Oh, well, my name is Y/N. I auditioned yesterday” I said, and he looked at me making a conscious “Ahh” sound. “

“So you are the famous Y/N Sunghoon couldn’t stop talking about” I felt my heart drop at his words, but in a good way. Did I really leave such an impression on Sunghoon? Damn. I didn’t know how to respond, I was curious about what Sunghoon had said about me, but at the same time I didn't want to seem too interested or invasive. 

Luckily, Jungwon interrupted my thoughts by satisfying my curiosity without me having to ask. “He said you are a really nice skater and that you’re really pretty, friendly and polite too!” He smiled at me, the same smile that was always plastered on his face in each video of each exhibition. The same smile that always made me smile too along with all the other smiles of the other members. I felt my heart beat faster at Jungwon’s words. Was that what Sunghoon actually thought of me? 

“Oh, well, tell him he’s really friendly, kind and polite too! And also really good looking” I said the last part a little more shyly, trying my best not to let soft, pink blush flush on my cheeks. 

Jungwon chuckled lightly at my words. I don’t know why but it’s easy to talk to him, I feel like he won’t ever judge me and I can tell him whatever I want. He’s always been one of my comfort places after all, always making a smile appear on my face even during hard times. 

My thinking is quickly interrupted by his soft voice “What are you doing now?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious. I just shrugged before answering.

“I’m just going to look for an empty practice room, I guess” I said, scratching the back of my neck with a shy smile on my face. I still have a lot to practice…

“Oh, we can practice together if you want” He flashed me a bright smile before continuing with his usual, soothing tone of voice “Which song do you need to practice?” He asked, taking his phone out and connecting it to the speakers in the practice room. 

“Oh, I need to practice Alexa’s ‘Back in Vogue’ ” I said, smiling back at him. Yesterday skating practice with Sunghoon and now dance practice with Jungwon? I must be dreaming. Someone wake me up.

“Okay, let’s do this!” He smiled again before starting the song to check if his phone had successfully connected and if the volume was right. He then put his phone down and went to the center of the room, gesturing to me to follow him. We started dancing, his moves were so clean and energetic. I had a lot to learn from him.

We danced for about 2 hours, both of us letting ourselves fall on the floor, tired after our practice. He was the first to stand up, grabbing his water bottle along with mine and bringing it to me. I sat up and thanked him before chugging half of the bottle down. 

“Seems like someone was thirsty, huh?” He teased, wiggling his brows. I barely met him and it already seems like we’ve known each other for half our lives, what the hell? I chuckled at his teasing, standing up as he drank some water from his own bottle too. 

“No but, seriously, Sunghoon was right” He said “You’re really pretty and also really friendly! And you also are really talented” I smiled shyly at his words, looking at my feet and the ground. 

“Thanks” I mumbled, but before I could compliment him too, he spoke again. 

“I would really like to get to know you more, you know? Maybe we could hang out sometime” He said, rushing to get his phone from the right corner of the room’s floor. He came back to me with a cute jog and showed me his number so I could add it into my phone. 

I chuckled as he didn’t even ask if I was okay with all of this, already aware that I was, indeed, more than fine with it. Who would miss the chance to hang out with your idol? I took my phone and added his number in it, saving him as “Wonie :>”

After that we said goodbye to each other and we left the practice room. I went straight to my dorm and in the shower, warm water running down my skin as I rinsed my sweat away, trying to clear my mind from all the things that were happening. All the sensations cursing through my veins overwhelming my senses in the sweetest way possible as all my dreams are finally becoming true. 

As I finally came out of the bathroom I changed into a simple but cute dress that hugged my body perfectly and dried my hair, tying it in a half-ponytail with a bow on it and little braids, tied together at the end, looking like a small crown at the back of my head.

I then proceeded to clean my room nicely so that it was neat and writing a song, then I practiced a bit with the piano and called Mina, telling her about everything that had happened these days: Me meeting Jungwon and Sunghoon, the way I fell, my cut, Sunghoon helping me and also giving me his number just like Jungwon. 

I could feel Mina smiling through the phone and I could tell she was genuinely happy for me and that surely warmed my heart, making me aware that she’ll always be by my side no matter what.

After my almost endless call with Mina I checked my phone to see what time it was, it was 6pm. My eyes darted lower, noticing some notifications from both Jungwon and Sunghoon.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I opened the messages: Sunghoon just sent me a selfie and killed me with it and Jungwon was asking me to hang out with him, Sunghoon and Sunoo? I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, my whole body tensing as I realized that I’m about to meet Sunoo, too. 

I felt goosebumps raise all over my body as I realized what time it was: It was already 6.15pm. ‘I’m fucked’ were the only words playing in my head over and over, making me nervous. I ran to the bathroom, spraying some perfume on my neck and wrists, filling the air with my sweet scent, and also put on some makeup, a pretty light one, just some mascara, gloss and blush. Just to accentuate my natural features.

And in no time, it was 7pm. 

I sat on my chair in front of my desk when suddenly someone knocked on my door.

I hesitantly stood up, walking towards the door.

Each step of mine making my heart beat louder, 

So loud that it sounded like a gunshot every time,

So loud that when I opened the door I thought Sunghoon could hear it.

“Hey Y/N” His voice was like a bucket of ice being thrown right at me, bringing me back to reality. I quickly flashed Sunghoon a smile, acting like I wasn’t about to say bye to my sanity just seconds ago. I stepped out of the door, walking alongside him down the hall and towards the elevator. 

“Hello Sunghoon” I say, sounding more tense than I intended to.

“There’s no need to be so tense, Y/N, calm down” He said with a light chuckle. We were trying to become friends after all. I shouldn’t be so tense, he’s right. But how am I supposed to not be tensed up when my idol, and also who I thought was and is the most handsome man in the world, is walking beside me and trying to become friends with me. 

I flash him another warm smile as we reach the elevator, its doors closing behind us. 

“So uhm…” The atmosphere in that small, moving box was thick and suffocating and I felt like I could faint due to the lack of oxygen in a couple minutes. “Was the one in the picture your dog?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Sunghoon started, smiling brightly at me as I mention his dog “Her name is Gaeul”

I nod, happily listening to him and getting more curious by the second. As the elevator came to a stop and we made our way to the small sushi restaurant, and during all of our small trip he couldn’t stop talking about his dog, Gaeul. He told me her breed, the whole story of how he got her, her age and how much she has grown up since he first got her. It was cute, hearing him talking about something he liked made a strange warmth spread through my chest, filling my heart to the brim. 

We slowly made our way through the crowd in the restaurant, coming to a stop as soon as we saw Jungwon waving at us from a table. We sat with them and that’s when I noticed a pretty, blond boy sitting right next to Jungwon,

Sunoo.

Kim Sunoo.

I greeted Jungwon before introducing myself to Sunoo, the usual “I auditioned yesterday to become an idol” leaving my lips right away, all while Sunoo was just flashing him that kind smile of his, the one I adored so much when watching their live performances. 

I sat down between Sunoo and Sunghoon and we started a conversation along with Jungwon about figure skating as soon as they noticed the bandage on my leg from yesterday’s fall while skating with Sunghoon. 

“I really like figure skating, but it’s really not for me” Sunoo said, and Jungwon nodded in agreement “I would fall as soon as I put foot on the ice” He added with the usual sassy laugh, causing a chuckle to escape my lips. 

They were all easy to talk to as we shared anything that came to our mind just as if we’ve known each other for ages. It felt nice to have some new friends around. Some new friends that were also my idols, but still some new friends. My smile never fading as we shared experiences and stories, pouts and laughter, jokes and serious conversations. All of this while munching on some nice sushi, which never tasted this good in my life. Who knows, maybe it’s just the magical atmosphere lingering between us or maybe it’s just their presence to make the moment even more enjoyable. 

Time passed by as fast as the wind between our chatting and the really nice sushi we were having. It all felt amazing, but eventually the evening had to come to an end, and that’s why I’m walking next to Sunoo as he brings me home. 

He offered to accompany me home since we live in the same building. 

Sunghoon had also offered to bring you home, making butterflies dance in my stomach, but Sunoo quickly said he would bring me home and that he didn’t have to worry.

During the trip I kept chatting with Sunoo about everything that crossed my mind, until…

Until we got to Sunghoon.

“He’s nice looking, right?” Sunoo asks, wiggling his brows playfully at me as if I hadn't met him just this night for the first time.

I shyly nodded, thinking about the selfie Sunghoon had sent me earlier with his dog. It was clear that he was laying in bed, his hair messy but soft-looking. He looked cute, yet hot as fuck. When I saw that picture I couldn’t help but let my mind wander a bit, also in places it shouldn’t have gone to. I shook those thoughts away as soon as I noticed how Sunoo was staring at me. 

“I knew it, girl! It’s evident in the way you look at him” Sunoo said, making my cheeks become red. Was it really that evident? I hit Sunoo’s arm playfully as we got into the elevator to reach our floor. He chuckled in response before grabbing his phone and speaking.

“Mind if I get your number? I really loved talking with you tonight, we should meet up more often!” He said with that soft smile of his, making me melt because of his cuteness. I took my phone out too and saved his number in it as soon as we reached my dorm. “Sunoo-ie <3”. That’s how I saved him before waving goodbye. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 3

“About a month had passed since I went to the dinner that brought me to meet the people that became two of my best friends along with Mina: Sunoo and Jungwon. We hung out a lot since then, ending up knowing everything about each other. I also hung out with Sunghoon a lot, but we don’t know each other just as much as I do with Sunoo and Wonie. 

Those two knew everything about me, from my favorite food to my sleeping problems and their solutions, from my most embarrassing moments to the most cheerful ones. They were always supportive to me and helped me whenever I had a problem, giving me advice and hugs to cheer me up whenever my mood was down.

They also knew about a little problem I had with Sunghoon. 

As we hung out during the past weeks I noticed how a warm feeling spreaded all over my body whenever we touched, I felt butterflies in my stomach whenever we talked or even when we were close. The way he laughed or smiled at my silly jokes, the way he hugged me whenever we won a game or simply the way he listened to me when I was frustrated. I started to realize (Also thanks to Sunoo, Mina and Jungwon) that I was falling for him. 

Or I already fell for him. 

I was in love.

I was in love with Park Sunghoon,

And I still am. 

As my mind was filled with thoughts, I didn’t realize I had received a text exactly from Sunghoon, the one permanently clouding my thoughts. I wonder if he’s tired after running in my mind for so long. 

I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat at his messages, first he asks me to go to sleepover at his dorm, and then he tells me “I love when you call me that ;)” after I called him “Hoonie”... This guy is making me go crazy. The butterflies in my stomach weren’t stopping, I wanted to tell Sunoo and Jungwon and Mina about that message too, but I didn’t… I’ll tell them later. The other side of me though, was telling me to stay here, at my own dorm, due to my sleeping problems.

My fucking insomnia.

I couldn’t just take my melatonin right in front of him, or turn on music in my speaker to help get me to relax. It all just sounded so scary… What if Sunghoon found it weird? And what if he just told me to leave after? Oh god… 

I decided to go shower to take all those consuming thoughts out of my mind, Sunoo said it himself “Sunghoon hyung is a really understanding person” when I texted him about the whole situation earlier. 

I just got under the warm stream of water, feeling the pleasurable, burning sensation on my skin as it heated up so nicely… I wish it was Sunghoon keeping me this warm… Fuck Y/N what are you even thinking about? I curse mentally at myself for letting my own thoughts wander this much and I started to wash up quickly, using the sweetest shampoo and bodywash I owned (Under Jungwon’s advice since he told me that Sunghoon likes sweet things) before using a sweet-scented body lotion all over my body. I then changed into some cute clothes and did my hair, by the time it was already 7.30pm…

I looked at myself in the mirror at least 6 times, completely panicked and rethinking my outfit choices, but eventually settled to stay like this. My pink sweater and pink hair clip reminded me of some nice, sweet cotton candy. Sweet, Sunghoon likes sweet things and I do too.

I then sprayed some sweet perfume on my neck and wrists, went over my look one last time and grabbed my things: My skincare products, my pajamas, my toothbrush, my hairbrush, my perfume and clean clothes for tomorrow and, most importantly, my melatonin.

As soon as I took everything and checked the time, I noticed it was already 7.55pm. I rushed out and went all the way to Sunghoon’s dorm. I’ve been there a couple times, but never alone with him: Sunoo, Jungwon or both were always there with us when we hung out at Sunghoon’s dorm. 

I took a really deep breath as soon as I reached his door, I could feel my heart beat faster in my chest, so fast that I thought it was going to stop at any second. I slowly knocked and he opened up almost immediately, as if he was waiting for me right on the other side of the door. 

“Y/N-ieee” He spoke, almost whining and in the cutest way possible. He stepped to the side, letting me into his dorm. It was neat and clean, just as usual. The only difference was that on the bed there were extra pillows and extra blankets, reminding me that I would be staying the night and that I had to tell him about my problem with insomnia somehow tonight. 

“Hey Hoonie” I gave him a bright smile, and I swear I saw a hint of blush on his cheeks. Maybe it was the nickname? Or maybe I’m just daydreaming, fuck my heart and mind. 

“Call me that more, I love it” I swear I felt my heart skip a couple beats at his words, warmth spreading all over my body as I tried my best not to blush. I looked down at the floor, blushing more when I heard him chuckle slightly at me and mumble a small “Cute” to me as he closed the door to his dorm. 

I looked up at him after calming down and he gave me a bright smile. I couldn’t help but notice the pictures hanging on the walls, some with him and the members, some with him and his dog and some pics of him while skating. He looked so effortlessly good in all of them that I wanted to scream. Some pictures were really touching as they showed him along with the rest of the members, one of them holding up an award; others were really funny, like one that showed him and Niki wearing Penguin onesies while forming a heart with their arms. All of those pictures prove the amazing friendship between all of them, the undeniable connection keeping them together growing stronger every time they hung out together. 

I snapped back to reality by something scratching my leg. For a moment I thought it was Sunghoon playing some random joke on me, but when I looked down I noticed a cute, white fluff ball.

His dog.

A gasp escaped my lips at the cuteness as I dropped my bag on the floor and knelt down, caressing the dog’s white fur all over in the gentlest way possible. 

“I see you and Gaeul already love each other, huh?” He teased from behind me, coming back from the small kitchen in his dorm. I didn’t even notice him going there, he probably went there when I was distracted with the pictures on his walls. He knelt down beside me with a bright smile, showing his vampire-like teeth so clearly that I thought I could faint right then and there. 

I chuckled in response to his teasing, still caressing the dog in front of me. I stood up, gesturing to follow him. We sat on his bed after I moved my bag to a corner. The faint smell of his cologne lingering in the air as we sat close to each other on his bed, contemplating on what to do. 

“Maybe we could play some games?” He suggested with a thoughtful expression “Or, if you’re good at baking, you could help me bake some cookies” He said with another smile.

“Why can’t we do both of them?” I asked with a laugh and he laughed along with me, butterflies dancing in my stomach as we shifted to the edge of his bed and he went to turn on his console and TV before handing me a controller. 

We played games for a bit and he won every single game we played.

“Oh come on!” I whined as I lost another game and let myself fall back on his bed with a chuckle. He laughed at me as soon as he won. His laugh felt like therapy, it was contagious. 

“You wanna stop? It’s no fun if I keep winning” He said with a shrug and a smile, letting himself fall on his bed next to me. I simply nodded and we both stood up again, making our way into his small kitchen. 

He took out all the ingredients and then we got to making those cookies. We decided to make some simple chocolate chip cookies. As we cooked I couldn’t help but chuckle at him every time he spilled or dropped something, warmth filling my heart at all his small actions. 

As we put the cookies in the oven he commented “Is that you smelling like cotton candy or what is it?” He asked, getting closer to me and leaning in. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he smelled my perfume, letting it flood his lungs. 

“It’s probably my perfume” I mumbled, my voice sounding shakier than intended. He slowly pulled back mumbling a small “So good” and looked directly into my eyes, making a shiver run down my spine. I shifted my gaze towards the floor to hide my blushing face.

“It is your perfume, yeah” He said with a smile. “It smells really good” He said with a warm smile, and time I’m sure he was blushing a bit too. 

I jumped a bit when he gasped dramatically after looking at the time: It was already 9pm. I chuckled at his dramatic behavior as we decided to change into our pajamas and just get ready to sleep so we could play some board games and watch a movie without worrying about falling asleep by accident without getting ready first.

He went to the bathroom and changed first, coming back with a simple white t-shirt that was a bit too big for him and sweatpants. Then it was my turn. I made my way in the small bathroom and closed the door, noticing his toothbrush in a glass by the sink and his cologne right there on a small shelf along with all his skincare products. I changed into my pajamas, a simple set of matching pants and shirt with little bears on them, and let my hair down, passing a hand through it. 

I then came out of the bathroom and Sunghoon clapped cutely at me “So cute!” He spoke, a soft smile playing on his flawless face and a glint of blush never leaving his cheeks. “Shall we brush our teeth and do our skincare? Maybe a face mask too?” He suggested with a smile, already walking back into the bathroom without even giving me time to answer. I quickly followed behind him getting back into the bathroom, this time with my bag in hand. 

I took out my skincare products, placing them near the sink, while he looked for some masks to do. I took out my cleanser, my hydrating cream, my toner and my sunscreen. Just as I took everything out he turned to me with 2 face masks in his hands. He smirked at me and wiggled his brows playfully just as he showed them to me and we both burst out laughing. It was easy to talk to him, but will it be just as easy to tell him about my insomnia? 

We did our skincare and brushed our teeth, his minty breath hitting my face every now and then as he helped me put the face mask on and I did the same, feeling my heart beat so fast and loud in my chest that I thought it was gonna explode as soon as my fingertips touched his silky, warm skin.

After that, we got back to his room and sat on the bed simply chatting a bit about random topics, just waiting for the moisture in the masks to be absorbed by our skin. We then took each other’s masks off, again feeling his minty breath and the urge to kiss him, before laying comfortably in his bed, our heads resting against the headboard and the too-many pillows he brought.

And then it comes, the moment I feared the most.

I had to take my melatonin and tell him about my sleeping problems,

About my insomnia.

I reached for my bag on the floor and took out my melatonin pills before speaking.

“Sunghoon, can I please get a glass of water..?” I ask, pointing to the small pill I had in my hand and signaling that I needed the water to take it.

He just looked at me with a confused expression and nodded before standing up and walking to the kitchen, coming back with a glass of water and handing it to me before asking me the question I was so scared of “What are those pills?” He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper and clearly filled with concern.

“They’re melatonin pills,” I said, looking down. “I suffer of Insomnia” I added with a sigh and a sad expression, already knowing this will be one of those sleepless nights due to the unfamiliar surroundings. 

“Oh” He said, his pretty eyes filled with worry, making my heart shatter into a million pieces “Is there any way I could help you sleep?” He asked, making my heart beat faster. Sunoo was right, he was definitely an understanding person, and that fueled my feelings for him even more.

“I usually turn on some soothing music to help me fall asleep, but that might bother you” I answered, my eyes never leaving the blankets on top of my legs “Or I hug a pillow, that would be a nice option if you have an extra one” I added, now looking up at him with shy, hesitant eyes. 

“I do have an extra pillow, but I don’t think it’ll fit between us” He said, pointing to the small space between our bodies, the closeness between us making me shiver “You can hug me, though” He added, and that’s when I swear I felt my soul leave my body, drifting off into the sky and never coming back. Or maybe it was his soul drifting right into my heart so I’ll never be able to stop loving him, who knows.

“Are you sure that’s okay with you?” I asked, surprisingly sounding steady enough. His words “You can hug me, though” playing in my head over and over again.

“Yeah, I’m more than okay with it” He said with a shrug before turning his TV on and looking for a movie on Netflix. Soft blush creeped on my cheeks but I was good enough to look away for a moment and hide it. 

He suddenly turned to me and asked “Is this movie okay?” He pointed to the TV on the other side of the room, a romantic movie on it. I thought of suggesting a horror one so that whenever a jumpscare comes I could cling to him, but since we both hate them I changed my mind and just accepted. If he did like horror movies I would’ve asked for one even if I hate them.

As the movie played, kissing scenes kept showing every now and then, making us both giggle like some stupid children, but even between our playful banter, I swear I noticed him shifting closer to me every time I was distracted. 

The movie seemed to end really fast, as if it was only 10 minutes long. I guess it’s because time seems to pass by faster when I’m having fun.

After he turned the TV off, he turned to me and asked softly in a tired, yet really fucking hot voice “Do you wanna sleep?” 

I just nodded in response, sliding down until my head was resting on the pillow instead of the headboard, and looked at him, hesitance clear in my eyes as I spoke “Are you sure I can hug you?” My voice barely above a whisper as I spoke shyly.

“Of course” He gave me a soft smile, the softest smile I’ve ever seen and that made me want to pinch his cheeks and kiss him like there was no tomorrow “And wake me up if you can’t sleep, you’re not alone in this” 

His words made me melt, literally, I was sweating. He was so sweet that I swear I smelled a scent so close to cotton candy that it made my mouth water.

I slowly shifted closer to him, my head resting on his chest and my arm over his stomach. 

He was warm, really warm.

And his heartbeat made me relax, I felt sleepy already.

But just as my own heartbeat started to slow down, relaxing, he wrapped his arm around my waist, making it beat faster once again. Even faster than before.

I felt safe, secure. I relaxed again as soon as he turned the lights off and whispered a soft “Good night, Y/N”.

His strong arms fit perfectly on my waist, making me feel safer than usual. I closed my eyes after whispering a small “Good night” back to him. My breathing slowing down and matching his,

I start to feel sleepy,

Sleepier and sleepier,

Until I finally left the hearth and traveled to dream land, Sunghoon never leaving my side, 

Keeping me close,

Keeping me warm,

Keeping me safe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 4

“  I woke up feeling a pair of strong arms wrapped around me, my head resting on a warm surface that made a heart beating noise. I slowly opened my eyes just to see that…

Park Sunghoon was the one hugging me.

My head was laying on his chest.

His heart was the one I was hearing.

His breathing was the one matching mine.

He was the one keeping me warm all night long.

He was the one that gave me the best sleep of my life. 

I felt my heart beating faster at the sight of his sleepy face as I stared at him, all while enjoying the warm and safe feeling his embrace gave me. 

I got startled when I felt him shifting underneath me, his eyes slowly opening as I lifted my head from his chest to look at him, his sleepy face being the cutest thing I’ve seen so far. 

“Good morning” He spoke, his voice low and deep, groggy from sleep. I shivered as he moved his arm lower, from my waist to my hips, holding me close as we laid together in the warm embrace of the blankets.

“Good morning…” I replied shyly, looking away as I felt my face heat up, sure that I looked like a tomato ready to be eaten.

“Lay with me some more, please” He whispered, pulling me even closer to him and making me shiver under his touch. I rested my head on his chest again, enjoying the closeness between our bodies. His slow breathing made me relax and cream against him.

“How did you sleep?” He asked, now sounding a bit concerned as he knows about my problems with sleep. 

“I slept really well, this was probably one of my best nights so far” I gave him a smile as I spoke, a wide one, a genuine one as I was truly happy that I was finally able to sleep all night long without waking up in the middle of sleep. And also truly happy that I slept cuddled up against my Idol and crush’s side, in his embrace. 

He smiled back at me, making me wish to kiss that smile until my lips bleed. 

He jumped up when his phone started ringing, it was “Jaikeu :]” . The cute name made me giggle. He sat up a bit, not letting me go as he answered the call.

“Hey Jake” He spoke, a wide smile painted on his oh-so-kissable lips. 

“Hi” I heard from the other side of the phone. I could only imagine it was Jake, or the one and only Shim Jaehyun. “I know you’re busy with your ‘Girlfriend’- Sorry, with Y/N, but our Kid Nishimura Riki wants you to be here too” Jake spoke through the phone and I choked when he called me Sunghoon’s girlfriend. He then spoke in a cute voice “Do you wanna hang out with us today? We could play games at my place” Jake spoke, clearly pouting from the other side of the phone.

Sunghoon looked at me and probably understood that I heard the whole conversation they just had. He silently mouthed to me the words “Do you wanna come too?” and I just nodded with a shrug. I would meet 2 more of my idols after all, so why not?

“Okay, sure” He paused for a moment at the phone before continuing “Can Y/N come too?” I heard Jake answer with a quick “Yes” from the other side before they agreed on the time in which we had to meet and hung up with a bright smile.

“Today, 3pm, Jake’s dorm” He said, rubbing my back gently. I smiled back, feeling truly happy for once in my life. I nodded and sat up along with him.

“I’ll go get dressed, okay?” I asked, slowly getting out of bed before whispering. “Sunghoon,” He nodded and turned to me as soon as I whispered his name, looking at me deep in the eyes with his expressive ones “Thank you” He just smiled at me, in his eyes a silent ‘You can always vent to me’.

I headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me and wearing the spare clothes I brought with me before doing my skincare and hair.

I then sprayed some perfume I brought with me (The sweet one, the one Sunghoon likes) and headed out. He stared at me, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“So pretty” He said, giving me a warm smile and standing up, heading to the bathroom himself. “And you smell good too, as always”. I blush softly at his compliments, a small chuckle going past my lips.

I watch him as he disappears into the bathroom before coming back after a while, all fresh and dressed up with a light blue shirt and some simple, black jeans. He looked so elegant and expensive even if he was dressed up in a casual way.

I grabbed my bag and gathered my things. I can’t wait to tell Sunoo and Jungwon about all of this, but all this tea is too important to be spilled over a chat, I’ll tell them when I see them.

I checked my phone and, just as I was thinking of him, Sunoo texted me a quick “How did it go” and a “How did you sleep?” I replied with a quick “It went well, I’ll tell you more when I see you <3” and locked my phone.

During all of this, Sunghoon was desperately looking for his phone. He used it earlier when Jake called but now he couldn’t find it.

“Sunghoo-” My words were cut off by him speaking.

“Shit, I can’t find it!” It was clear, he was getting frustrated.

“Sungho-”

“WHY?!” He whined, interrupting me once more.

“PARK SUNGHOON” He finally looked at me as I spoke in the calmest tone ever “Look what’s in your hand” I pointed at his left hand.

He was holding his phone during all of this, this silly, yet charming and sweet, boy. He looked down at the phone in his hand, then at me, then back at the phone and then back at me, this time with a laugh that made my heart swell with affection. 

He finished gathering his things before we headed out for lunch, going to the same small place where I met my best friend: Sunoo. We sat down and ate normally, talking about any sort of thing that went through our mind: My insomnia, his dog, dogs and animals in general, dance practices, auditions, Jay’s cooking and food. 

As we finished, I offered to pay but he stopped me, handing his card to the waiter before I had time to say anything. When I scolded him as we were getting out of the restaurant, he used the excuse of “I’m an Idol, I have way more money than you”. How silly. 

As we made our way to Jake’s dorm, we passed in front of the posters with the people auditioning and… The results. Finally. I stopped in my tracks, running towards the posters right away, and started looking for my name between a lot of others. 

Until I found it.

Y/N.

Next to it, the result was written.

‘Audition passed’.

I felt my heart beat faster in joy, I was so happy that I didn’t notice Sunghoon running behind me and stopping to stand beside me, watching me as I jumped like a kid on their birthday. He hugged me as soon as he saw my result, jumping with me. 

“I’m so proud of you, Y/N-ah!” He said as he hugged me tighter, reminding me of the previous night, when we slept in each other’s arms and I actually did sleep. 

A small tear of joy ran down my face as we hugged, a big smile plastered on both our faces. “Thank you, Sunghoon-ah!” I answered, looking at him deep in the eyes before hugging him tight again. My face buried in his neck, his intoxicating scent filling my lungs. 

After a bit of jumping around, we started walking again, making our way to Jake's place. If I thought I’d feel anxious to meet him and Niki, I was actually pretty relaxed. Maybe it was because I was with Sunghoon? Or maybe because I knew I passed my audition? I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter right now as we finally reached Jake’s dorm. 

Sunghoon knocked on the door. After not even 2 seconds a screaming Niki opened it. I jumped a bit when Niki jumped in Sunghoon’s arms screaming “JAKE HYUNG WANTS TO TICKLE ME TO DEATH”. Both me and Sunghoon burst out laughing as soon as we saw Jake leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at Niki with a playful smirk on his face,

When Niki turned around and looked at Jake he screamed again, but when he noticed me he stopped clinging to Sunghoon and just normally introduced himself, as if he didn’t just scream his lungs out because Jake was trying to tickle him. “Hey, I’m Niki, you must be Y/N, nice to meet you” He said, offering me his hand for a handshake.

I then looked at Jake and he introduced himself too “And I’m Jake” He gave me his usual, contagious smile, the one I used to go crazy for in their videos. 

I also introduced myself, but this time as a trainee, mentioning that I passed my audition. 

We made our way into Jake’s dorm, it was way messier than Sunghoon’s, but still not too dirty or messy. I was honestly a little surprised: I thought his dorm was going to be a mess after seeing Niki scream and run like that. 

We all sat on Jake’s bed, playing some video games at first but getting bored after a couple matches. That’s when we decided to play truth or dare all together. 

“Niki, truth or dare?” Sunghoon asked Niki, and he thought for a moment before answering with a confident “Dare”. 

“I dare you to tickle Jake for 30 seconds to get your revenge” Sunghoon spoke with a chuckle, making butterflies dance in my stomach more and more. I laughed when I saw the expression on Jake’s face. He side eyed Sunghoon so bad I thought his eyes were going to turn around completely. Not even Sunoo ever side eyed anyone like that. Niki, on the other hand, was smiling a lot and giggling like a 3-year-old. 

Niki counted to 3 and jumped on Jake, tickling him all over and almost making them both fall off the bed. Jake was a screaming mess too now, repeating ‘Sorry’ over and over again while laughing his soul out. Me and Sunghoon counted the 30 seconds while laughing, making me feel warm, but definitely happy, all over.

As the 30 seconds were up, Niki asked “Jake, truth or dare?”

Jake answered right away with a convincing “TRUTH”. He knew that, if he chose dare, Niki would dare him to do the most embarrassing thing ever (These dumb children). 

Niki whined but still asked Jake a dare “Do you think Y/N is pretty?”

I felt my cheeks heat up a little bit at Niki’s question, but I became a literal tomato when Jake nodded. I looked at Sunghoon and I’m sure that what I saw in his eyes was jealousy, somehow. He was piercing holes in Jake’s skin with how intensely he was staring at him. 

Jake just glanced at Sunghoon and then looked down, as if he was saying sorry. After that, he spoke, “Sunghoon, truth or dare?”

Sunghoon thought about his answer for a moment before speaking, “Dare”. He didn’t look too confident about his choice, but he also didn’t look too hesitant.

“I dare you to whisper something in Y/N’s ear”, Jake said. And in that moment I swear this time Sunghoon’s ears and cheeks turned red, as if he just ate something really spicy. Jake giggled a bit at his friend’s reaction and wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. What did he know that I wasn’t aware of?

My thoughts came to a stop when Sunghoon shifted closer to me and leaned in, his hot breath on my neck and right ear. “I ate Sunoo’s cookies yesterday, but don’t tell him, please” He whispered. His whisper was hot as fuck, his breath hitting my neck and I could smell his strong scent, my vision going fuzzy for a moment. Even if the words he said were stupid as heck, he still sounded really hot. Goosebumps raised all over my skin, I stopped breathing for a moment and butterflies danced in my stomach with all their strength. My chest felt warm, just like my stomach did. I felt warm all over, my mouth going dry. 

“Someone looks flustered” Niki teased, referring to me. I glanced at me, with the amazing side eye Sunoo taught me how to do, and whispered under my breath “Shut up you kiddo”.

Sunghoon and Jake both burst out laughing, Niki started laughing because the other two were laughing and I started laughing because they all were laughing. What a chain reaction.

The rest of the day passed by rather fast between silly jokes and games, laughter and whines (Especially by Niki, that hyperactive child). 

Sunghoon brought me back to my dorm at about 6pm, my heart dropping into my stomach as I had to say goodbye to him, closing the door behind me as I passed past my door. I swear I saw a glint of sadness in his eyes too as I closed the door, making me even sadder.

I quickly texted Sunoo to come over, I had to tell him EVERYTHING that had happened. From the sleepover to the cuddles, from Jake’s call to his dare for Sunghoon. Everything. Every single detail. 

Sunoo didn’t even answer and directly knocked on my door. I opened it and we greeted each other with our usual hug and sat on my bed.

“Spill the tea girl” He said, leaning in closer and raising an eyebrow at me with a smirk.

I just told him everything, Sunghoon’s reaction to my insomnia, what we did, that we slept hugging each other, Jake calling me Sunghoon’s girlfriend while on a call with Sunghoon, Niki’s screams and whined, how I met them and all the game of truth or dare, everything in the most detailed way possible. I also told him that I passed my audition and a big, warm smile formed on his lips. I didn’t tell him about Sunghoon and the cookies, though. 

It was now 8pm. Did it really take me this long to tell him everything? Damn. We hugged one last time before he spoke softly “You’re really whipped for him, aren’t you?” He asked with a soft chuckle.

“I swear when he smiles I forget how to breathe” I answer and we say bye to each other. 

After Sunoo left, I washed up and ate some quick noodles before going straight to bed, tired from the long day that I just lived. 

I slept well that night, Sunghoon never leaving my mind as I fell asleep hugging my usual pillow, this time thinking it was him. 

For the next four months we just kept hanging out all together and I noticed Sunghoon sticking to me a bit more than usual, but I didn’t really pay attention  to that. 

It was now December, and I had already prepared Sunghoon’s birthday gift. 2 tickets to go see fireworks on the 10th December. One for him and the other for whoever he wanted to go with. I also had already fantasized about that extra ticket to be given to me, but I knew it would never happen, sadly. 

I sat on the bed after practice and checked my phone, my heart beating faster and my breathing coming to a stop at the messages I saw.

CHAPTER 5

The so-long-awaited day arrived, Sunghoon’s birthday party was going to be today at 6pm. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of meeting Heeseung and Jay too as Jungwon had told me they would come. I sat on my bed, thinking about what to wear. My mind soon drifted to something, or more like someone, else.

Sunghoon.

So many questions ran through my mind whenever I heard his name. Should I confess my feelings? Should I not say anything? Should I flirt and try to get him to love me back? Does he love me back just like Sunoo said? 

Yes, Sunoo said that Sunghoon probably loves me back. Sunoo said Sunghoon never stops talking about me and that his eyes light up every time he hears my name. Sunoo said that Sunghoon always wants to hang out with me but doesn’t ask that much because of his busy schedule and because he doesn’t want to be a bother for me either. 

Sunoo told me so many things about Sunghoon that I started to love him even more.

I shook my head, coming back to my senses. It was already 4pm. Shit.

I ran to the bathroom and took a shower (ofc using the sweetest-smelling soaps I owned) and used my usual, sweet lotion all over my body. I then started looking for the right clothes. I needed something comfortable since I knew Niki was going to drag me all around the house and Jungwon was gonna chase me to tickle me. 

I wore some simple, golden jewelry and sprayed some sweet perfume all over, making sure to smell good all night.

I then wore some simple, white sneakers and headed out, making my way to Sunghoon’s dorm. 

As I got there, I could hear talking and laughing from inside. I knocked on the door, and as it opened, an elegantly-dressed Sunghoon was staring directly down at me with a small smile.

“Hey Y/Nnnie!” He said, pulling me in a friendly hug. I swear I felt him take a deep breath directly against my neck before whispering a soft “You smell so good, so sweet…” 

I shivered at his muttered words before answering his greeting “Hi Hoonie” I said with a small chuckle. As he let me go from the hug, he dragged me all the way to the main area where the party was, in his small living room. As I arrived there, I saw some drinks on the table along with some snacks and plates already placed carefully in front of 8 chairs. I look around until I feel two arms wrapping around me and…

“Y/N JAKE-HYUNG WANTS TO TICKLE ME HELP” Niki screamed in my ear as Jake rushed to us, tickling Niki and making him pull away from me, running towards the bathroom.

I looked around, the walls neatly decorated with some penguin drawings and more pictures, on Sunghoon’s bedside table was resting a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Wait, flowers? Who were they for? I shook those thoughts out of my mind, looking towards the small couch where…

Where Heeseung was chatting with Sunoo. The Lee Heeseung.

“Y/N!!” Sunoo exclaimed and jumped up, rushing towards me and pulling me into a hug. I looked behind him, Heeseung had stood up, walking towards us with his usual flirty-like demeanor. 

“Hi Sunnie” I say, reciprocating Sunoo’s hug. I smile as he lets me go, looking back at Heeseung who was now extending his hand towards me.

“Hi, I’m Heeseung” He said, and I gladly took his hand in a polite handshake.

“I’m Y/N” I answer with a smile. I look back as I feel a hand on my shoulder, to be more precise, Sunghoon’s hand. 

“Guys, food is ready” He said with a warm smile. It was so warm that it went in contrast with his cold-like features, but they surely created a perfect match.

We all follow him to the table and sit down. I took my place between Sunoo and Jungwon, Sunghoon sitting in front of me. I look towards the kitchen just to see Jay coming with some plates, a wide smile on his face as he hummed to an unknown lullaby stuck in his head.

He immediately put a plate in front of me, I was the first one being served, apparently.

“Ladies first” He said with a wink before speaking again “I’m Jay, but I bet you already know” He said with a smile.

“I’m Y/N and-” My words are cut off by two long whines, one from Sunghoon and the other from Niki. 

“The birthday boy should go first!” Sunghoon protested with a cute pout.

“No, the youngest should!” Niki answered with another whine.

Me and Jay looked at each other before laughing. As we calmed down, Jay spoke again. “No, ladies first” He said, winking at me once again.

“Yah Jay stop flirting”  Heeseung said from the other side of the table.

Jay side eyed him and walked back to the kitchen, grabbing more food until everyone was served.

And until Niki finally stopped whining. 

“This is really good” I say, looking towards Jay and pointing to the stir-fried rice in front of me. “Did you cook it?” I ask, still looking towards Jay. He smiled at me, a satisfied expression on his face as he nodded, silently answering my question.

I noticed Sunghoon staring at him in a stern way, as if he was going to kill him at any moment. I took another bite of my rice and chewed on it happily while Niki kept annoying Heeseung by stealing his rice from his plate. 

Dinner time went by rather fast, all between chuckles, Jay’s homemade food and Niki’s whines and jokes.

It was now 9pm and we were all talking and chatting with each other, Niki dragging me all around Sunghoon’s dorm and explaining the backstory of each one of the pictures hanging on his walls. 

Sunghoon came to me every once in a while, trying to talk to me, but whenever he said “Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?” Niki dragged me somewhere else. I also noticed Sunoo and Jungwon cheering Sunghoon up and pointing to me while talking with him, but I didn’t really pay attention to that. 

When the time to open the presents arrived, Sunghoon sat happily on the center of the small couch while the rest of us sat on the floor or next to him. 

The first present was Jake’s, which had gifted Sunghoon a shirt with ‘ice prince’ written on it, then Jay’s, who had gifted him a simple necklace, then Heeseung’s, which was a prada bag, then Niki’s, that was a new game for his nintendo switch (And that kid wrote his name in the wrong way on the card: Kimura Nirisi. It was Heeseung that had to correct him right then and there reminding him that his name was actually Nishimura Riki), then Sunoo’s and Jungwon’s, who both gifted him shirts with two of their pictures on them, and then mine.

I gave him two tickets to go see fireworks. One for himself and one to give to whoever he wanted to go with him.

“Thank you everyone!” He said with a bright smile, adjusting his pointy, birthday hat on his head. We all pulled each other in a group hug, Niki whining that he ‘couldn’t breathe due to Jay’s armpits smelling bad’.

We just chatted for the rest of the evening. Sunghoon tried dragging me to the side a couple times to tell me something, but everytime one of the other members pulled me away from him. 

As we were all saying bye to each other, I was the last one to exit. Sunghoon stopped me by the door, holding my wrist in a gentle, yet firm, way.

“I want you to have this,” He said, handing me the extra ticket for the fireworks. “I want to go with you” He added, a soft smile on his face even if I could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes. I took the ticket, putting it into my small bag, nodding softly.

“I’ll be there” I reassure him, flashing him a smile. As I got home, I did my usual night routine, brushing my teeth and doing my skincare before changing into my Pj's and heading to bed.

That night nothing seemed to help me sleep, my melatonin seemed to not even have an effect on me, soft background music didn’t help and not even hugging my pillow helped. I jumped up, fully awake once again, as soon as I heard my phone buzzing repeatedly.

I look over at it, an incoming call from “Sunghoonie ;)”. Sunghoon calling me? Maybe I forgot something there?

I answer, a sleepy “Hi” coming from my lips. 

“Hi” He said, he sounded nervous yet sleepy, and god if his voice was hot like that. “I can’t sleep and you came to my mind… Did I wake you up?” He asked, probably knowing that I wouldn’t be able to sleep after talking with so many people not even an hour ago, kept up by the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“No, no, I can’t sleep either, you didn’t wake me up” I answer, laying back down, putting my phone on speaker and setting it down next to me as I snuggle in the soft, fluffy and warm sheets of my bed. “Why can’t you sleep?” 

“Sleeping is hard when you have so much on your mind” He answered, I could hear the shuffling of his sheets from the other side, probably placing his phone next to himself on speaker like me.The image of him, laying in bed, all snuggly and cute while talking to me on the phone causing goosebumps to raise all over my skin, butterflies dancing elegantly in my stomach.

“Why? What’s on your mind?” I ask, my voice soft and understanding as I hope he won’t notice that part filled with pure, unfiltered love.

“You” He simply said, I felt a sudden rush of warmth run up my neck and my face. I probably looked like a tomato. My heart was beating louder and faster, I felt like I could die right then and there as I held my breath without even noticing, millions of thoughts running through my mind at an inhuman speed.

Probably due to my lack of response, he spoke again “Can we stay on a call while we sleep? Your breathing is relaxing…” He said, I could sense the sleepiness in his words, he was probably falling asleep already, while my heart was beating fast as fuck, my breathing was heavy and his words made me shiver and blush like an idiot. 

“Of course” I said, trying to sound stable, as if I wasn’t just kicking my feet on my bed while hiding my face in my hands. 

After a couple minutes, I couldn’t hear anything anymore, the only sounds coming from his side were the soft shuffling of the sheets and his soft breathing. The image of him sleeping softly formed in my mind, making my heart swell with love and affection as I laid my head back against the pillow, while having another one there to hug. I wonder what he’s dreaming about, I bet he looks so peaceful in his sleep.

I wrapped my arms around my pillow, of course imagining it being him, all cuddly and warm, and, soothed by his soft breathing which was more like a lullaby to me, while thinking about when we’ll go see the fireworks together, slowly fell asleep with him clouding my mind in the best and sweetest way possible. My own side of the phone call became silent too, the only sounds being my heart beating loudly for him and my soft breathing, along with some casual rustling of my own warm, comforting sheets.

CHAPTER 6

“   After 2 long, tiring, intense and full days passed by, it was finally the so-awaited day of the fireworks. Me and Sunghoon agreed that he would pick me up and we would go there together at 9pm, the show would start at 10. During the day I met up with Sunoo and Jungwon, of course gossipping and talking about how this evening could possibly go. We were sitting in a cute cafe, just talking.

“You know, I saw a bouquet of flowers on Sunghoon’s bedside table” Sunoo started with a small smirk “I think he’s gonna give it to you”

I quickly shook my head, chuckling a little at how stupid his words are. Why would Sunghoon give those flowers to me? I love him, yeah, but he doesn’t feel the same, and I’m sure about that. I quickly denied, shaking my head, a well hidden hint of sadness in my voice, “Nah, I don’t think so”.

“Oh, come on, Y/N!”  Jungwon joined in, nudging my shoulder in a comforting manner, as if he was able to sense my sadness, as if he was able to sense how broken and hurt my heart was. “Stop speaking so lowly of yourself! I’m sure Sunghoon might actually like you back!” 

“Jungwon, I don’t like him, I fucking love him” I say, turning to him in a dramatic way, trying to lighten the mood up a little. The other two just giggled a bit, and then we changed topic, just simply talking about random shit: From their upcoming comeback to my training and possible debut next year. 

When I got home, I felt goosebumps raise all over my skin as I saw the time. 7pm. I rushed to shower, applying that sweet lotion that had become a must, and then changing. I decided to dress up casual yet elegant, adding a cute, silky, black bow to my hair.

I sprayed my now usual sweet perfume before gathering my things, my ticket, my phone, my wallet and some makeup products in case I needed any touch ups. I sat on my couch and waited for Sunghoon to arrive patiently, my heart racing in my chest, goosebumps rising on my skin and a cocktail of emotions cursing through my veins: Anxiety, excitement, happiness and pure, unfiltered love, adoration and affection.

I got snapped back to reality when I heard a knocking sound coming from my front door. I stood up, my knees weak, my hands shaky as they clung to my bag’s handle. I opened the door and there, right behind it, stood a tall, nice yet nervous looking Sunghoon.

Why was he nervous, though? 

“Hi” He said, his greeting was shakier and more spent than usual. I couldn’t help but notice how he avoided eye contact, how his free hand clung to the hem of his jacket…

Wait,

Free hand?

Where’s the other one?

It was straight in front of me, holding that same bouquet I saw at his birthday, the same bouquet Sunoo and Jungwon told me about.

So it was actually for me…

He was also holding a letter…

“I’ve never been good at telling people how I feel,” He started, a hint of vulnerability in his voice as he handed me the letter and the flowers with a shaky hand. “But you make me want to try”

I flashed him a small, shy smile and he responded with one too, but quickly stopped me when I tried opening the letter. “Wait! I’ll tell you when to open it” 

I shrugged lightly and put the letter in my bag and then went out, locking my door. I followed him outside the building and the car, where one of his staff members was. Sunghoon had told me over text that one of the staff members would drive for us.

As we arrived at our destination, the ‘driver’ dropped us down and told us to call him whenever we wanted to go home and also that we deserve to have some fun too. 

I walked beside Sunghoon and couldn’t help but notice how his hand twitched whenever I walked too close to him, as if he wanted to touch or grab something. He was probably too shy, though, so I decided to take the lead in this.

“Wanna hold hands?” I asked, offering him my hand with a warm smile, “If it’s not too cheesy, of course” I added with a laugh, and I swear I went straight to heaven when he took my hand with a bright smile and the most beautiful laugh ever.

When we arrived near the lake where the firework show will be at, the security stopped us and asked for our tickets. We both took them out and showed them to the security before making our way past the fences. 

We sat down on a bench pretty close to the lake, flowers surrounding us, the stars and moon already shining in the sky, casting a soft glow over his skin, making him look ethereal.

“You know,” He spoke, his voice soft and I could feel the small glint of vulnerability in it despite him seeming more confident now. “You’re like the stars, beautiful to look at, but impossible to catch”

A hurricane of feelings and sensations cursed through my veins at those words: Shivers running down my spine from the cold, my cheeks heating up a bit, the wind through my hair, my heart beating faster, his eyes on me, the nature around us, the soft trickling sound of water coming from the lake, soothing me deeper into this intense feeling of pure, raw, unfiltered love. 

“Are you cold?” He asked again, now his cheeks are of a soft shade of pink too. He didn’t give me time to answer and just took his jacket off, draping it over my shoulders, drowning me in his scent and warmth. 

“Thank you…” I mumbled in response, too shy to say anything else, overwhelmed by his strong scent filling my lungs, coming from both him and his jacket. 

We both look up at the sky when we hear a loud ‘pop’ sound.

The fireworks.

So pretty.

They’re like my love for him, burning and exploding in uncountable little lights of adoration, affection and care.

As they explode, I turn to look at him,

His eyes already piercing holes through my skin,

They meet, our eyes,

We get closer,

And closer,

Impossibly closer,

His breath fanning over my lips, hot and minty, addicting,

His hand caressing my jawline

As our lips meet.

I could taste his cherry chapstick on his lips, the faint mint of his toothpaste, and his unique, intoxicating taste.

He was everywhere, in my mind and heart, tattooed in my soul.

His tongue danced with mine with passion,

Pure,

Raw,

Unfiltered,

LOVE.

His scent was everywhere, filling my lungs and nostrils, his touch causing goosebumps to raise all over my skin.

It all felt so good, 

So fucking good,

Intoxicating,

Addicting,

Until…

Until it stopped.

Until we broke the kiss, panting for air.

But the only thing I could breathe was his scent, the only things I could feel were his lips on mine and his touch.

We stared at each other until he broke the eye contact, pointing towards my bag, 

“Open the letter” He said, his voice breathless, shaky, I could sense how overwhelmed he was by all these feelings, too.

I took the letter and opened it, my hands shaking, my heart beating loud and fast against my chest, my breath hitching.

“I fell in love with the million things you didn’t know you were doing, your flaws, your imperfections, your mistakes, all of you. Suddenly, all the love songs were about you, and you became the ‘nothing’ I say when people ask me what I’m thinking about. I swear when you smile I forget how to breathe. I have so, so, so much love for you in my heart that it doesn’t fit.

-Sunghoon”

Those were the words written in his letter,

So simple, yet so meaningful.

I looked up at him,

Tears in his eyes, overwhelmed by all those sensations,

Tears in my own,

My hands moving to cup his cheeks, wiping his tears with my thumbs,

“I love you”, I said.

And that’s all he needed to hear,

All he needed to hear to press his lips against mine again,

The fireworks and the rest of the world fading away, us and our newfound love being the only things left in that unforgettable moment.

His tongue exploring my mouth,

His hands on my waist, his thumbs drawing small circles on my sides,

“Fuck, I’m so weak when it comes to you”, He whispered against my mouth.

Butterflies dancing in my stomach, my vision going fuzzy, my heart beating like crazy, our lips dancing together.

He broke the kiss after about a minute and pulled his phone out with shaky hands, calling the staff member that brought us here, telling him to come pick us up.

He then hung up, concentrating on me again, as if I was the only thing that mattered in that moment. 

He stood up and grabbed my hand, dragging me back near the street.

“Sorry, but I really wanna spend more time with you” He said, getting close to me again, his arms wrapping around me again, pulling me flush against him, holding me close, the warmth radiating off him seeping into my skin.

As soon as the (poor) staff member arrived, we hurried in his car. The rest of the car drive was silent except for when our ‘driver’ asked us how it all went, and Sunghoon answered with a confident, steady voice. As if his hand wasn’t caressing my thigh all the time. As if he wasn’t turning to leave a kiss on my neck every couple minutes, as if he wasn’t making me crazy.

As soon as the staff dropped us in front of our building, we rushed inside, running up the stairs and into my dorm. 

I had just enough time to lock the door behind us that he was already pinning me to the wall, his lips on mine again, my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

Feeling the heart that wasn’t beating just for him anymore, but for me too.

Our lips danced together, his hands traveled from my hips to my waist and back, going upwards ‘till my neck and cheeks. 

His lips trailed down my jawline and neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps and passion behind them.

His hands moved back to my waist as he broke the kiss to look deep into my eyes.

“I love you, Y/N, so much” He whispered, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

“All of you, your eyes, your nose, your lips, your cheeks, your jawline, your neck, your collarbones, your shoulders, your arms, your hands, your chest, your tummy, your hips, your waist, even your fucking legs and thighs, your hair, your scent, your voice, the way you look at me, how much effort and care you put into everything you do, the way you always care about everyone and everything, the way you make sure that everyone feels loved and cherished, the way your eyes crinkle at the corners when you smile, the way your cheeks flush whenever you’re shy, the way you always listen to everyone’s problems and give them advice, the way you jump happily whenever someone brings you sweets or just any type of food. And the list goes on, I could go on for seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years even. But the things I love most about you? Your heart and soul. Those are irreplaceable. They’re yours, and I love you.”

I felt tears roll down my cheeks at his words, and he kissed them away with so much care, love and adoration.

That night, 

That night he proved me just how much he loved me,

Our bodies became one,

He was gentle, soft,

He made sure I felt good, he made sure I felt loved and cherished, he made sure that I felt adored.

He shared his heart and soul with me, we poured our hearts out to the other,

We let out all those unspoken feeling that were destroying us from the inside,

All those feelings that were sharp and hurtful when they were inside us, but turned out to be as beautiful as those fireworks,

Those fireworks that brought us together,

Those fireworks that I gifted him during his birthday,

Those fireworks that were just like love, 

Uncontainable, exploding in millions of lights and sensations,

Those fireworks that were pretty, but never as pretty as him,

Those fireworks that became unforgettable, 

Those fireworks that our hearts waited so much to see.

Those fireworks that now represent us,

Our love,

Our feelings,

All the passion we shared,

Our adoration, affection and care towards the other…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 7

“     Those fireworks that now represent YOU.

That’s how me and your dad met.”