kyle-brofloski-blog

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

      Damn, Stan was acting awfully jumpy. That was so unlike him. For a few moments, Kyle was silent, calmly studying his friend’s face. Well, it didn’t seem like anything was bothering him. “Eh, nothing much dude,” He responded, finally deciding that Stan was alright, before flopping himself down on Stan’s bed and making himself comfortable. “Just thought I’d surprise you by paying a visit. Hope you don’t have anything planned with Wendy.” The Jew couldn’t hide the jealousy as it tinged in his voice. Kyle made the point of removing his hat, an indication that he planned on sticking around for a while.

@kyle-brofloski asked: 👏- ruffle my muse’s hair

Stan snaps out of his thoughts when he fees someone walk up behind him and ruffle his hair, jumping at the sudden contact. He’s pleasantly surprised to find his best friend standing behind him, turning around in his chair to face him. “Hey, Ky, what’s up..?” He asks softly, confusion edging his voice. It’s usually Stan doing the hair-ruffling, not so much the other way around; while it’s a nice change, it usually means that somethings up with the redhead. “Is everything okay?”

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” //dovahkiiin if it's okay ;u;

random sentence starters / accepting@dovahkiiin

       Kyle was taken aback by the new kid when she suddenly spoke up. “Those… things I said yesterday?” He couldn’t recall anything mean that he’d said. He thought hard for a couple of moments. Ah, right. He had made a speech about having equal respect for both men and women, right? No matter their preferences, race and whatever. The surprised expression on his face faded some and he managed an awkward laugh. “Ah, yeah. Of course, I meant them. I don’t usually say things I don’t mean.” Unless he was pissed off. Then he tended to say things without thinking.

      “Why do you wanna know about all that, new kid?” Man, he hoped he didn’t say anything offensive in his speech. He’d would hate for one little possible offensive thing to be absorbed by everyone and not the point that he was trying to make. He didn’t think he had though. “If I said something to upset you, then I humbly apologize, it was not my intent. I get into tangents a lot while I’m doing those kinds of talks.”

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.

Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.

SHORT

“Marry me.” “Do you want me to leave?” “You are not going without me.” “I can’t believe you!” “I swear it won’t happen again.” “What did you say?” “I’m not jealous.” “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” “We can’t keep doing this.” “Are you sure this is legal?” “Isn’t this amazing?” “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” “Stay the night. Please.” “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” “Run away with me.” “You did WHAT?”  “Quit whining.” “Get outta my sight!” “Why are you so annoying?” “Were you ever going to tell me?” “Never in a million years.” “Don’t ask me that…” “I might have had a few shots.” “What’s with the box?” “W- What are you doing?” “Say it!” “I could kiss you right now!” “Are you done with that?” “What’s going on here?” “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!” “It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”  “Did you do this on purpose?!”  “Kiss me.” “Are you still awake..?”  “Excuse you?”  “This is all your fault!” “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”  “I shouldn’t be in love with you!” “It’s not fair!” “I could kill you right now!” “Knock it off!” “Screw you!” “You’re a complete moron!” “I love this song!” “I can’t be in love with you!” “Make me.” “Don’t tempt me.” “I hate you.” “You are infuriating!” “Just shut up already.” “That doesn’t even make sense.” “Bite me.” “Eat me.” “Kiss my ass.” “Just admit I’m right.” “Just admit you’re wrong.” “You are being ridiculous!” “That’s irrational.” “Listen to me!” “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” “Don’t yell at me.” “That’s it. End of discussion.” “I don’t believe you.” “You shouldn’t have said that.” “Fuck you!” “Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” “How dare you?” “I dare you!”  “It’s you, it’s always been you.”  “Well this is awkward…” “Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” “I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” “You know what I like most about people? Pets.” “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?” “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.” “I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.” “Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.” “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.” “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?” “Can I touch your boob?” “It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.” “You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?” “Give me cake or give me death.” “On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?” “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?” “Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.” “Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.” “No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.” “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!” “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?” “I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.” “What have I told you about the toilet seat?” “I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.” “I vote today to be a pajama day.” “You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.” “I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.” “I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.” “You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?” “I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.” “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.” “I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!” “This would not happen if I had a penis!” “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” “All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”  “Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”  “I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”  “To the night you’ll never remember!” “Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?” “Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.” “Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”  “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”  “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.” “I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.” “You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!” “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“ “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” “I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.” “You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.” “You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?” “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”  “Do you need me to kill someone for you?”  “Look out where you’re going, asshole!”  “Fuck the sandwich guy!”  “I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”  “The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”  “Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”  “I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.” “There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.” “I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”    “There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.” “It’s midnight, what do you want?”  “I think I know how to use a bed.” “If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.” “You are completely unfit to handle a child.” “We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.” “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”  “When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.” “It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…” “You’re so cute when you pout like that!” “Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.” “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” “What, does that feel good?” “HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?” “Are you wearing my shirt?”  “You are ridiculously comfortable…” “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…” “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…” “You’re beautiful, you know that?” “We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?” “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.” “Shooting star, make a wish.” “It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.” “Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.” “Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…” “Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?” “Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.” “This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?” “Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.” “I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?” “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.” “I’m not actually feeling anything.” “Are you getting any closer?” “Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!” “Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.” “Shit sorry, am I going too fast?” “Wow, you’re hot.” “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” “Hey, I’m open minded.” “Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.” “I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.” “I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?” “I see someone’s happy to see me.” “I saw that. You just checked me out.” “You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.” “Take off your clothes.”  “Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.” “Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.” “Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”  “If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”  “Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.” “I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now? [text]: Do you want to bet on that? [text]: Guess who just got back in town. [text]: So I might be in a hospital right now�� [text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore! [text]: Come on, come to the party! [text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive. [text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up. [text]: I call bullshit. [text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you? [text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship. [text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness. [text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall. [text] Who says no to sex and donuts?! [text] I know what you did last summer…

Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

Violent/Painful Starter Pack

🤜 - Punch my Muse in the…

Stomach.

Jaw.

Nose.

Mouth.

Cheek.

Shoulder.

Back.

Ribs.

Chest.

You choose.

👟 - Kick my Muse in the…

Stomach.

Back.

Ribs.

Chest.

Shin.

Bottom.

Hip.

Waist.

Cheek.

You choose.

🔧 - Beat my Muse with a…

Wrench.

Baseball bat.

Wooden plank.

Belt.

Nunchucks.

Broken bottle.

Brass knuckles.

Hammer.

Chain.

You choose.

🔪 - Cut my Muse in the…

Stomach.

Back.

Ribs.

Chest.

Leg.

Hip.

Waist.

Face.

Neck.

You choose.

🗣 - Tell them…

“You’re worthless!”

“I never loved you.”

“I hate you.”

“I never want to see you again!”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I wish you were never born!”

“You ruin everything, just like always!”

“You’re nothing but a burden.”

“I wish you were dead!”

You choose.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

@shining-stxrs​ / continued

       “Oh my fucking God, Cartman! Can you give me my damn phone back?” The fiery redhead hissed; his eyebrows knitted together in fury. “If you give me my phone back, then I can show you that I didn’t post shit online about you!” He really wasn’t helping himself with his temper, he knew, but he was really concerned that Eric was going to do something awful to his phone. He knew how upset his parents would be if they found out.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

WOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWWWWW CUTE OUTFITS I AM BLESSED

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

totalbastard:

˗ˏˋ  “maybe if you get down on your bitch knees and beg me with your bitch mouth, i’ll let you loose.” there was absolutely no way he’d release kyle, not with how much fun he was having. just seeing the stupid jew’s face get all red like that really brought him joy.. “go on, beg me, kyle, or is it that you actually enjoy stuff like this?”.ˊˎ˗‏

       Okay, now Kyle was really pissed off. Eric should know that Kyle didn’t beg anyone for anything. He was way too proud for that. “I swear to God, Cartman! I’m not fucking around with you! Let me go right fucking now.” Kyle clenched his fists; it took all his willpower not to strike Cartman right in his smug, fat, face.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

totalbastard:

˗ˏˋ  “nice try.” he kept a firm hold on the end of the leash. “you can’t hide from the facts, kyle.” he took a step back to keep some distance between them, “ ‘sides, you look great wearing a collar.” he pointed, a laugh bellowing out. “i even got you a custom name tag!” one that read ‘stupid jew’.ˊˎ˗‏

      “I’m not playing around, Cartman! Knock it off with this shit!” He tugged on the leash more aggressively, so that Eric knew he wasn’t playing games. “I swear to God, if you keep this shit up, I’m going to kick your fat ass!” He couldn’t care less about the name tag. The whole scenario was embarrassing as fuck.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

       Kyle grunted as the leash was tugged on, stumbling just a little. “Like hell I am!” He snarled in response, grabbing a hold of the leash and attempting to pull it out of Cartman’s hand. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

@kyle-brofloski cont.

˗ˏˋ  “hah, loser, guess what?” he tugged on the leash, hard. “you’re my bitch now.”ˊˎ˗‏

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

O///O

       Kyle seemed to be completely unaware of Cartman creeping up behind him. And for good reason, he was chatting to somebody on the phone. Just as he was ending the call, he heard the tell-tale ‘click’ of the collar. The Jew hesitated for just a moment, then slowly turned his head to peer over his shoulder. Ah - Cartman. Of course. “What in the hell are you doing, now?!” He snapped, not noticing the leash initially. He was too busy attempting to remove the collar around his neck! In his haste, and annoyance, he dropped his phone. Great. “You fucking bastard, Cartman! What are you doing in my house?! Get the fuck out!”

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

Send O///O to put a collar and leash around my muses neck.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

howdy (or cheerio i guess would be more appropriate here), i decided to go ahead and make phillip a roleplay blog! please give this depressed little bean some tender loving care. he’s a broken lil south park boy. or, you know, make his little heart break more. hell, shatter it to pieces if you feel so inclined. 

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

howdy (or cheerio i guess would be more appropriate here), i decided to go ahead and make phillip a roleplay blog! please give this depressed little bean some tender loving care. he’s a broken lil south park boy. or, you know, make his little heart break more. hell, shatter it to pieces if you feel so inclined. 

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

i’m kind of debating on making phillip.

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

me :    i  want  to  build  long  meaningful  relationships  with  other  muses  that  develop  naturally  over  time also me :    ship  with  me  cowards

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

SEND “BEEP” FOR A RANDOM TEXT FROM MY MUSE.

I’ll randomly generate a number between 1-29 for one of the following:

A funny text

A sad text

A scared text

A late night text

An excited text

A taunting text

An angry text

A frustrated text

A concerned text

A loving text

A confession via text

An accidental text

A wrong number text

A text that wasn’t sent

A text for help

A helpful text

A comforting text

A drunk text

A bad idea text

A rude text

A long text

A one word text

A text asking for advice

A final text

A flirty text

A hyper text

A weird text

A sarcastic text

A heartbreaking text

[kyle-brofloski-blog]

hey, yeah so, i decided to make one of these as well. since i guess they get around more quickly or something like that?? anyway, this is a indie roleplay blog for kyle broflovski of south park. if you’re interested in interacting, then please give this a like or a reblog! please keep in mind that my blog is a work in progress.