the-hoetei-13

[the-hoetei-13]

1-800 D!CK-DA§H ... × 📞

ft. none other than, who else, but the golden mf trio (renji, izuru, shuhei) + kensei lol. creds to @sacredwarrior88 for the concept!

cw for entire work: fem reader, modern au, explicit sexual content (you literally called a 'dick-for-order' hotline), explicit language, pet names, oral (f! & m! giving/receiving), creampies, cumshots, + MUCH MORE. read at own discretion. individual scenarios + a gangbang at the end. the receptionist is so done with life LOL.

wc: 1.5k

menu: 💨 1. 💨2. 💨3. 💨4. 💨bonus

"Hello and thank you for choosing Dick Dash. My name is Shinji; so, what's your type?"

You had to press your free hand over your mouth to stifle a laugh - when your friend Mashiro told you about this, you honestly thought she was joking.

A point was made in your late-night girl talk about the guys at your university being lackluster in the bedroom and being too lazy to satisfy a woman properly.

"U-uhh, my type?" You stuttered dumbly, "you mean like -"

"Dick size, pubic hair, circumsised-"

You cut him off abruptly, "Oh wow, this is kind of embarrassing."

On the other end, Shinji rolls his eyes. He sat up straighter in his chair and removed the toothpick from his mouth.

"And calling a dick hotline in the first place isn't? Come on; I don't have all day, sweetheart."

'Okay, attitude.'

You let out a huffed breath. "Alright, Shinji, I'd like to place an order: "

"-lots of tattoos, dick length 8.5-9 inches, circumcised, good stamina, and cums A LOT."

Your cheeks were absolutely enflamed as you relayed your request to the stranger over the phone.

"My, that's a tall order," Shinji smirked, "I have just the person for you, doll. He'll be right over. Thank you for choosing Dick Dash!"

And he hung up right in your face.

As soon as the phone call ended, your palms began to sweat.

Were you really that desperate for decent dick to go and blindly order it off the phone like you were simply ordering a pizza?

Nervously, you began to pace around your living room, your hands continuously running over your jeans to eliminate the moisture from your palms.

Ding dong.

Well, you're about to get the answer to that question.

You stood on your tip-toes to look out of the peephole. All you could see was...red.

You unlatched the door and a tall, redheaded male - covered in tattoos, just as you'd asked - stepped over the threshold.

His hair almost matched the color of the red polo shirt that he had on.

A giggle bubbled up in your throat at the fact that they had an actual uniform and everything: red polo, black pants, black belt, and a cap with 'DD' in black lettering across the bill.

"Hey cutie, I'm Renji. You called for me?"

Renji had a cocky confident smirk set across his lips.

Then he started unbuckling his belt.

Your eyes blew wide. "W-wait, you mean we do it right now?!"

Renji shrugged, "I mean...I can wait. Just keep in mind that I get paid per 15-minute interval."

"Oh! Well, that's fine then."

For the first thirty minutes, the two of you just talked. Renji was pretty down-to-earth and funny, in all actuality.

You had tears in your eyes from the stupid jokes that he was telling you.

Now those same tears stung your eyes as you kneeled on the carpeted floor of your living room, your knees getting rug burns as Renji fucked your mouth.

"Just like that, baby. Remember to breathe through your nose. Atta girl.." His thighs clenched when you laved your tongue over his balls, right up through the seam separating them.

Heavy, rough hands pressed down further on your shoulders as Renji groaned loudly with his head thrown back.

His cap rested on the arm of your couch and the hair tie that had been holding his hair up had broken earlier due to his rough thrusting. A few maroon-red hair strands lay slicked against his forehead while the rest cascaded down his back.

The feeling of Renji's cock nestled deep in your esophagus had your pussy running rivers onto the soft beige material beneath you, and even more so when he reached down to rub a calloused thumb against your sensitive button.

Your knees shivered and your stomach buckled in, orgasm washing over you in undulating waves.

"Damn babe, you cum just from sucking cock?" His chuckle was strained and throaty as he moved to stroke his fingers over your dripping cunt before pushing two inside.

"Ohh!"

Renji began fingering your pussy at an insane pace that had your toes curling and tears trickling down your face like a fountain.

You placed your hands on his thighs to try and push back from him but he moved his free hand to take a fierce hold of your hair.

"Nuh uh. Take it. Take it and keep my dick in your mouth while you do."

You did as you were told, but it was a struggle. His heavy balls slapped against your neck while pre-cum and saliva dribbled down the sides of your mouth, coating them.

"Fuck! Gunna cum, gunna cum, gunna cum - oh shitttt." A steady stream of ejaculate shot into your mouth - warm and salty - and you gulped it all up like a greedy whore.

Renji held you by the back of the neck and slowly pulled you off of his dick with a soft 'plop'.

"Fuck, that's a talented mouth you have there, babe. Now, how do you want it?"

You weren’t so hesitant with your requests now.

"Rough. From the back."

"Nasty," Renji smirked, "bend over."

Your aching knees screamed at you as you then planted them into the rough fabric of the couch.

"Arch f' me, baby."

His hands smoothed over the globes of your ass before he smacked each one, enjoying the way the flesh jiggled beneath his large hands.

Hiking one foot up on the couch and taking his heavy dick in one hand, Renji teased you by sliding the head against your puffy clit.

"Please Ren...put it in.."

"Giving me a nickname already, sweetheart? I must be doing something right."

You were about to ask again when he thrust upwards, then dragged the head through your slippery folds until he was slipping inside your hole.

"Oh God.."

Your head dropped to your hands that were gripping the back of the couch in earnest.

Renji was long and thick; the veins trailing up and down his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction.

"Feeling good, baby girl?" He pressed you into a deeper arch and your mouth fell open.

“Y-y-y-” You struggled, stuck on the first letter of the word. Renji chuckled and smacked your ass, jiggling the flesh in his palm.

His brown eyes were transfixed on how his dick was moving in and out of your pussy, your juices covering his length leaving a silky, translucent sheen up to his base and smearing into his red pubes.

“Damn, pretty. Good pussy like this shouldn’t have to order dick. If you were my girl, I’d fuck you good every night.”

Renji’s large hand cupped your ass cheek, spreading you open wider to take more of his thick length, which left you howling. He wasn’t even going that fast, but he was so thick that he could reach all your spots with a few deep strokes.

“You stopped talking to me, sweetheart. Why don’t you tell Ren how good it feels, yeah?”

He sped up his pace, thrusting harder and directly into your G-spot, making you scream out his name in pure bliss.

“Renji!”

Said redhead hummed, moving the fingers of his free hand down to your clit, rubbing it vigorously side to side as his thrusting never slowed. Using his upper body, he pressed you further into the couch cushions. 

The entire couch banged against the wall from the sheer force of his thrusts. Your neighbors might have something to say about that..

“Renji, please..! I’m going to c-cum!”

You had never felt anything like this in your young adult life. Seems that the guys on your campus really didn’t know how to fuck.

“Go ahead, pretty. Make my day and cum all over this dick.”

Strands of his lustrous, dark red hair stuck against your back as your orgasm hit you like a crashing wave, but Renji didn’t stop thrusting; in fact, his thrusts got even faster.

“W-wait!”

There was no waiting when Renji was focused, and right now his focus was getting a second release out of you on top of his own.

“What are we waiting for, pretty? This is what you ordered, right? Come on, you didn’t think I was done that quick, did you?” 

The smirk in his voice was evident as the sly redheaded male quite literally fucked you into the couch. With one tattooed arm wrapped around your middle while the fingers of the other toyed with your sensitive clit, you could feel that same feeling bubbling up in your stomach once again, but more intense.

“Go ahead, and let go for me, babe - oh, holy shit - !”

Renji’s rough, calloused fingers stroking your clit like guitar strings paired with his rough, rhythmic thrusting caused a stream of liquid to gush from your pussy and soak the cushions of the couch. Good thing you lived alone…

Your squirting triggered his orgasm and the redhead pulled out just in time to spray his cum across your plump ass cheeks, some of the white strands hitting your upper back and even landing in your hair.

“Good girl…” He cooed, patting you on the butt affectionately as he climbed off of you and headed to the bathroom to get a cloth to clean you up with.

Meanwhile, you lay flat on your belly in the wet spot, attempting to catch your breath.

Renji had righted himself, looking exactly how he did when he first entered your apartment, smirk included.

After paying, you gave an awkward smile and walked him out so he could return to his shift. The thought of him seeing other girls made you just the teensiest bit jealous, but what could you do?

Turning to walk back inside, you heard a soft crinkle of paper in the back pocket of your jeans. Upon reaching into the pocket, you’d pull out a crumpled note:

‘Think I might call in sick for the rest of the day. Only thing that’ll make me feel better is a 2nd round ;)’

[the-hoetei-13]

RoZuruPalooza 2025

A Birthday Celebration for Rose & Izuru! Event Dates: March 16th – March 29th

Tag Your Entries: #RoZuruPalooza2025

Join us in celebrating the birthdays of our beloved 3rd Division leadership! This event runs from March 16th to March 29th, but late submissions are welcome until April 16th (because, well... I posted this late!).

How to Participate

REBLOG THIS POST! 🤩

And create and share anything Rose and/or Izuru related - birthday themes preferred but not required!

Ideas include:

Fanart

Fanfiction (headcanons, imagines, one-shots)

Character analyses

Edits & AMVs

Memes

Other creative projects (crafts, cosplay, etc.)

Reblogs of older content are allowed as long as it’s your own work.

Rules & Guidelines

Tag all entries with #RoZuruPalooza2025 so I can find and share them!

If your submission contains NSFW content (sex, violence, or substance use), please tag it appropriately.

Do NOT repost or reblog fan-created content that isn’t yours. This includes edits and memes.

AI-generated content is NOT allowed.

Official manga, anime, and licensed Bleach game images/videos are okay (but it’s polite to cite the source!).

This is not a Rose x Izuru ship event, but RoZuru ship content is certainly welcome!

I will not accept or post NSFW content from ageless blogs. For those that don't want to list an age, please follow at @white-deer-fiction, my SFW blog that I am building to see the SFW event content!

Need Inspiration?

(any item can be submitted on any day)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROSE!!! (16th - 18th) Rose HC's, Rose x Reader, Rose SFW / NSFW Alphabet

Birthday Gift HCs / Canon Divergence or Continuation Day (19th)

The OCs of Squad 3 / Rare Pair day! (20th)

Rose x Izuru Weekend! (21st - 23rd)

Birthday Date HCs/ Despair Day (give us your angsty stuff!) (24th)

Squad 3 Threesome / AU day (25th)

HAPPY BIRTHY, IZURU!! (26th - 28th) Izuru HCs, Izuru x Reader, Izuru SFW/NSFW alphabet

Many Happy Returns Day (send your fluffiest submisisons!) (29th)

Want to help? Please REBLOG and share prompt ideas in the comments! I will update this post with selected prompts and reblog sometime on the 19th! Thanks!

[the-hoetei-13]

𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝑫𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 四番隊 ☆ !

Insignia: Bellflower

Color: Puce (Dusky Pink)

Insignia signifies: Those Who Grieve Are Loved

Seated Officers ☆ :

Captain: [vacant]

Lieutenant: [vacant]

Third Seat: Twitch ☆ - @roaringxthunder

Members ☆ :

[the-hoetei-13]

Sundae Tropes : Three's Company

A/N: Fic 1 of the Sundae Tropes Event! Some 69-ing for our 69 boys!

Sundae: Cookies And Cream With Sprinkles And Brownie Bits With Kensei And Shuhei = Marriage Pact + Threesome + 69

Follow along using #sundaetropes, #300followersevent and #vee writes.

Written for @j-u-u-z-o 🩷 I have to admit, a marriage pact and a threesome had me scratching my head for a bit but the plot kind of took over on it's own ^_^ Event masterlist | Vee's Masterlists

The bright sunlight was blinding as you made your way to your office, not looking forward to the day ahead. After last night’s disaster with your date and drinking your weight in sake, the mere thought of doing anything was daunting. The incessant pounding in your head like drum beats made you feel like there was a marching band in your skull. Sitting at your desk chair, you laid your head down on the wooden surface, wondering if you could catch a nap. Your eyelids start drooping, and you feel your body beginning to transition into a semblance of sleep before you hear footsteps coming your way.

“Good morning rookie!” As high energy as ever, Kensei stomps into your office, his loud, booming voice making your head throb. You groan and cover your ears, trying to hide your face.

“Why’d you do that?” you whine through the gaps between your arms as Kensei leans over your huddled form grinning.

“Brought ya coffee!” You hear a cup being placed near your head and groan softly. 

“Don’t want coffee,” you grumble, trying to find an angle to relieve the pounding in your head.

“Tsk tsk tsk…coffee is the best cure for a hangover. Drink up! Can’t have my contract wife incapacitated!”

“Your contract wife would like the day off.” You try to close the gaps between your arms by drawing them in closer. “And how’d you know I was hungover?”

“I could sense your alcoholic ass all the way from your quarters. Your reiatsu really doesn’t hide anything.”

“Creep.”

“Will you be calling me a creep when you end up marrying me someday?”

“Someday…if ever. I still have time to find someone you know.”

“Based on your current dating life, I don’t think you’ll last the 5 years we agreed on before getting married. You’ll be begging me to shorten the time on our marriage pact.”

“How rude. You think I can’t land someone?” You ask indignantly as you raise your head from the dark shelter of your arms only to feel dizzy and cause a nasty throbbing in your skull. You whimper and lay your head back down on the desk. Kensei sighs, then places a large hand at the base of your skull, squeezing, relieving the tension in your body. 

A sound of contentment leaves you as he does this, before massaging the back of your neck, then moving down to your shoulders. Typical Kensei. Always so tactile. You straighten up and let out a loud groan of relief before grabbing the cup of coffee and chugging it down.

“He stood me up taicho.” You admit softly as Kensei continues to work on your tight muscles. The throbbing in your head quiets slightly. 

“I figured as much.” His hands go back to the base of your skull and you feel your breath catch slightly as he threads his fingers through your hair before massaging your scalp, tugging on sections of your locks, stimulating the circulation back into your body. Little tingles begin in your scalp and creep down the back of your neck, then along your spine, delightfully sensual and tickly. 

There were reasons you had agreed on a marriage pact with Kensei, and the most basic one was that he knew how to balance out his love. He doled out tough love when he knew you could do better, but when at a limit he gave way to something a little softer and caring, like right now. There was a connection between you and Kensei that didn’t quite fit into any category, and it transcended beyond being his third seat. You two had an easy friendship and you never hesitated to tell the other anything. It was always unfiltered and raw with him. He had your back and you were fiercely loyal to him. Not just because he was your captain, but because you knew he’d never allow anything to hurt you.

The irony is that drinking is what caused the marriage pact to come into existence in the first place. Talks about how you were already his work wife and that it would be nice to find someone to settle down with eventually. Why not you? You had laughed, slapping him on the shoulder, spilling your drink because surely, he was joking right? He was your captain, the guy you sparred with and accompanied on scouting missions. But he fixed you with those brown eyes, carrying an intensity that hadn’t been there before. “Think about it,” he’d said before finishing his glass and taking you back to your quarters. 

Now here you were, marriage pact ready to go if neither of you found someone serious in 5 years. It was a strange thought at first but you got used to it. There was a sort of security in knowing that if all else failed, someone who knew you so well was there to ensure you got to experience marital bliss, something you didn’t realize you had not just wanted, but craved. 

“I wouldn't have stood you up you know.” Kensei brings your head in between both his large hands and gives a hard squeeze on both sides making you moan with relief. 

“Thank you. That's reassuring. At least if I marry you you won't leave me hanging.”

“Of course not.” You feel a twinge of disappointment as his hands leave your body but don’t complain, feeling your headache lessen. You sip more coffee as Kensei studies you, looking like he wished for more physical contact as well. 

A knock on the door breaks up the cozy atmosphere that was building in the office. “Come in,” you call out, and the door is pushed open by Hisagi, looking a little haggard despite how early it was in the morning. 

“Morning taicho, third seat,” He says politely before dropping off some files on your desk. “I need you to review these before they can be put away,” he says to you, then frowns at the fatigued look on your face. “Everything all right?”

“All fine,” Kensei answers gruffly, treating Hisagi with rough indifference, something you hadn’t understood. Hisagi rarely warranted half the criticism Kensei threw at him. “Our third seat is a little hungover,” he adds for context.

“Ah.” Hisagi shoots you a sympathetic glance. “I hope it goes away fast.”

“Thank you fukutaicho,” you mumble and take another gulp of caffeine. “I’ll finish these soon.”

“Appreciate it.” Hisagi bows to Kensei and takes his leave.

“The boy is always behind on work,” he remarks, staring at the closed door. You tsk at him.

“We’re all behind on work taicho. You’re too mean to him. He’s your lieutenant after all.”

“Am I? I thought I was just pushing him to be better.”

You snort at his words. “Oh please. You borderline bully him. He only puts up with it because he respects you.”

Kensei considers your words. “But he keeps barging in on me all the time. The office, texting me, it’s a lot.”

“Isn’t that typical though? All lieutenants do that. Captains and lieutenants are attached at the hip. You’re being unkind.”

“Unkind?” Kensei looks genuinely hurt. “Does my contract wife think I’m unkind?”

You giggle at his downtrodden expression. “Just be less harsh on him. It’s not hard.”

“I suppose I could be,” Kensei relents, stroking his chin thoughtfully, “And I guess I should be thankful you don’t mind him barging in on me at all times of the day. After all, if you do marry me, it’ll be like you’re marrying Shuhei as well.”

“Huh?” You stare blankly at him.

“Like you said, captains and lieutenants are attached at the hip. If you were my wife, you’d have to get used to Shuhei barging in on us all the time, no matter what time of day.”

You let his words sink in, and realize it’s not far from the truth. You would have to get used to Hisagi being a constant presence no matter what the circumstances were.

“I guess…you’re right. Marrying you would kind of be like marrying him also.”

“And all things considered, wouldn’t you want to be sure you’re satisfied with all aspects of this possible future marriage with me?”

“What aspects are we talking about?” You ask this cautiously because there seemed to be something he was implying. 

“All of them…including sex.” 

You choke on your coffee and hastily cover your mouth with your sleeve. Kensei looks calmly at you while you splutter and recover from the initial shock.

“You want us…to sleep together. You and me?”

“Well, you, me, and Shuhei.”

You gape at him, suddenly feeling shy, a blush creeping into your cheeks. The three of you? Having sex? Now that the idea was on the table, you can’t help but imagine how that would be. Hisagi was attractive in a different way than Kensei. Stoic and edgy-looking, but he still exuded raw sexuality. You would’ve been lying if you said you hadn’t thought about Hiasgi before. But he had a major crush on Matsumoto and you didn’t want to get mixed up with someone who had feelings for someone else. 

An unexpected shiver runs down your spine at the thought though. Kensei…and Hisagi. Together. In your bed. All over you. You shake your head and try to speak sensibly. 

“Taicho…with all due respect. Have you lost your mind?”

Kensei grins at your reaction before responding. “Didn’t you admit to me a threesome was something you hoped to experience at least once in your life?”

“Damn it,” you hiss under your breath. You had to quit drinking with him. Damn bastard remembered everything. The more tipsy he got, somehow the better his memory became. 

“I understand sleeping with you. But Hisagi?” 

Unbidden, another image of 3 sets of limbs tangled on a bed comes into your mind and you try to push it away again. 

“I want my potential future wife to be satisfied. And that includes letting her explore her sexual fantasies. But Shuhei is the only one I’d trust with something like this.”

Your mouth goes dry and you try to laugh it off. “What makes you think Hisagi would even be open to this?”

“He’s not seeing anyone right now. I doubt he's getting laid, the way he keeps fawning over Matsumoto every given second. And why wouldn’t he be interested? A pretty girl like you? He’d better consider himself blessed that I’m being generous and sharing you.”

“I just…hadn’t considered…”

“Sleeping with me before we actually got married?” he finishes shrewdly.

“Exactly! I mean, we’re still captain and subordinate. And I get that if we were dating this would be normal but to do it like this …”

“Are you worried the sex will be bad?” he asks teasingly. “Because I guarantee you it won’t be.”

“No! It’s not that. I’m just-I’m-I-” You take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and embarrassed. Kensei quickly envelopes you in his arms and squeezes tightly.

“Calm down. It’s ok. I only threw out the suggestion because I feel like you should make sure this marriage pact will fulfill everything you’re hoping for, even though we haven’t dated. And there’s no pressure. I promise I won’t let it affect our professional relationship. And you don’t have to sleep with both of us. Or even me if you don’t want to.”

He rocks you back and forth and the motion soothes you. Swallowing, you look up at him. “Promise you won’t be weird? And poor Hisagi…”

“Hisagi will be grateful I’m asking him at all. Don’t worry. No one is going to mention this outside of our personal lives.”

When you still look unconvinced, Kensei rests his cheek on top of your head. “You know I didn’t ask you for a marriage pact just because it’s convenient right?” You had hoped that wasn’t the case, that there was more to it than you being available to him. 

“Of course, there’s the most basic reason and that is, we’re comfortable around each other. We just vibe. But I also think you’re beautiful. Sexy. I sometimes wonder what you’ll look like in the throes of passion. So I am not joking when I say I’m putting everything on the table. Because at the end of these 5 years, if you do end up marrying me, I want you to do it knowing I’ll indulge any thought you might have, no matter how unconventional they may seem to you.”

His forearms rest on top of yours. “You never have to worry about it with me.”

Calming down at his words, you lean back against his chiseled chest. “Ok. Yes, a threesome is something I was hoping to experience.” 

Kensei grins widely. “I’ll talk to Shuhei. But don’t ever tell him I said I trust him.” 

You laugh and nod in agreement.

A few days pass before Kensei brings up the topic with you again, letting you know Hisagi had consented and blushed like a virgin when he was asked. 

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

“Be gentle with her Shuhei,” Kensei warns as he locks your bedroom door. You could hardly believe this was happening, both of these gorgeous men standing in your room, everyone tingling with the keen knowledge of what was going to happen. You can’t hide your enthusiasm, even though everyone is still fully clothed, you feel moisture gathering between your folds at the idea of what’s to come. 

“I will,” Hisagi murmurs before settling next to you on the bed.

Kensei sits on your other side. “Hey, let us take care of you hmm?” he asks. You nod, feeling like your tongue has turned into a lump of clay, unable to form sentences. Kensei tips your face up to his by your chin.

“What’s the safe word?”

“Hollow.”

“Don’t hesitate to use it, ok?” He pets your hair, and you feel like every stroke was setting off a synergy of desire in the pit of your stomach. “We’ll be gentle. Give us direction if you need to.”

“And let yourself relax,” Hisagi adds. “Enjoy this experience. Your first threesome”

You wet your lips. Kensei continues petting your hair before his hands slide down your arms reassuringly, leaning down to give you a soft kiss. Your first kiss with Kensei…you take in the feel of his lips, strong and patient against yours, his tongue, his taste, and feel like you were melting into a puddle of desire on the floor. Kensei, so tough and rugged on the exterior, felt so different now, showing you the kind of tenderness you could expect if you were his wife. You let him take his time, seducing you with gentle persuasion. 

Hisagi skims his fingers along the neckline of your yukata, before stringing small kisses down the side of your neck, nibbling the sensitive flesh, sending skitters of electricity down your body, causing your belly to fill with heat. Kensei’s large hands wander lower and undo the sash of your yukata. 

You gasp softly as air hits your naked body, nipples already peaked and pebbled from the kisses. You look up shyly at Kensei who’s drinking in your features with hazy eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says huskily, cupping a breast in his palm, kneading the soft flesh, making you pant. A strangled noise of surprise leaves you as Hisagi lowers his head and captures your free nipple with his mouth, suckling gently, the sensation making your body feel like jello, and causing your clit to throb with need. 

“Mhm…” you sigh your pleasure as they both work on you, strong and patient, feeling their calloused hands steadily bring up your arousal. 

“Like that baby?” Kensei’s deep, husky, voice cuts through the fog in your brain, his hand tantalizingly playing with your breast, massaging the squish of it, the pad of his thumb moving over your nipple in circles.

You manage to nod, then stifle a groan as Kensei lowers his head and swirls the hardened peak into his mouth. The wetness on both your breasts, the different sensations from both of their mouths and tongues was something you hadn’t quite been able to imagine, Kensei going for more sucking and pulling while Hisagi was softer, the tip of his tongue flicking back and forth across your nipple. It felt like your body was being tugged in two different directions, the fantasy of being taken both softly and roughly at the same time coming alive like a fever dream.

Your fingers tangle in both their hair, keeping them latched to your breasts, feeling the blood rush through you, making you shiver from the sensations. Your sex throbs and spasms, and you feel impatient heat gathering in your belly, wanting more. 

Kensei leaves your breast to lick and kiss up your body, coming to the slope of your neck which you arch to give him better access, feeling the tempting nibble of his teeth, your fingers curling into the sheets as your grip on reality begins to fade. To your dismay, you feel Shuhei also move away from you, a sound of protest leaving your throat before you realize both of them are starting to lean you back, your body coming in contact with the bed, yukata spreading apart at your sides. 

“What an angel,” Shuhei whispers with a mischievous smile, tilting your face up by your chin, before leaning down to give you a kiss, his free hand running leisurely across your body, stroking your abdomen as Kensei tickles your inner thigh, his warm palm coming to rest on your mound, squeezing the fatty flesh as his tongue sweeps across your nipples.  

Your body reacts instinctively, hips bucking to provide friction as your clit rubs against the heel of his palm, your noises of satisfaction swallowed by Hisagi’s patient mouth. 

“That’s it…nice and easy sweet girl…” Kensei purrs at you while you continue to grind against his hand. He wedges the heel a little more firmly against your folds, your hardened bud now coming into direct contact with his hand as you shamelessly humped to satisfy the craving. 

Hisagi licks the shell of your ear, sinking his teeth into the upper curve, making you gasp,  before whispering, “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah…” The word comes out breathlessly as heat and tension start coiling in your belly, your core dripping from all the attention. Hiasgi’s hands come back down to your breasts and begin to massage them, holding your nipples captive and rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers. You feel your clit throb in tandem with the motions as you use Kensei’s hand, the dual stimulation from both of them causing your insides to melt, liquid heat filling your being as your mind becomes an insatiable blob of need. 

“Why are you both still dressed?” The question falls from your lips as your core flutters around nothing, the coil in your belly threatening to snap. 

The question makes both of them chuckle. “As the lady wishes,” Hisagi says in a gravelly tone, and to your pleasured delight, both of them undress and your eyes feast on the glorious muscles and toned structure of both their bodies, cocks erect and waiting for attention. Your mouth waters and as they settle back down on either side of you, your hands reach out automatically, taking an erection in each, pumping and stroking, your arousal heightening as they both collectively draw in sharp breaths.

“Fuck…impatient were you?” Kensei grins as you play with the heated velvet of his cock, enjoying the girth of it while Hisagi’s was lengthy, your hand taking longer to go up and down his shaft. Both were veiny and throbbing with need. Without thinking, your head dips down to lick Kensei’s leaking tip, tasting the salty precum beading at the opening while continuing to pump Hisagi’s length.

“Shit…” Kensei lets out a growl as Hisagi sucks in a harsh breath. Your tongue swirls around his cockhead, lightly putting the tip of your tongue into the slit, causing Kensei to his and buck his hips. Milky droplets formed and dripped continuously from Hisagi’s dick, and you turn your head to catch them, sampling him before giving him a tiny kitten lick that drew a needy groan from his lips. 

“Can’t make up your mind sweetheart?” Kensei asks teasingly as you refuse to let go of him but also don’t back away from Hisagi’s length, taking as much of him as you can into your mouth. 

Hisagi grits his teeth as your soft, wet mouth teases his tip before sucking down his length. You feel fingers gathering into your hair, controlling the speed as you bob up and down, a hum of pleasure arising from the back of your throat. Hisagi is seeing stars when you finally let go of him, strings of spit connecting your lips to his cock. 

Kensei watches the scene unfold, his eyes darkening with lust; your lovely naked body on display, legs parted wantonly, a little patch of wetness forming on the gusset of your panties. He runs a finger along the line of moisture before hooking his finger into the fabric and pushing it aside to reveal your pussy, arousal seeping from the folds. He uses his thumb again, so wide and textured, placing it on your clit and drawing little figure eights over it.

Distracted, you pull away from Hisagi, moaning at the slick pleasure, your innermost dirty fantasy coming to life, Kensei between your legs, and Hisagi shivering, desperate to feel the hot moisture of your mouth again. Kensei slips his middle finger into your sopping entrance, followed by the ring, before laying his tongue over your clit, laving the little bundle of nerves with controlled precision. 

Your moans have a desperate edge to them now, hips bucking against the sinful movements Kensei is making and Hisagi takes advantage of your open mouth to slip his cock back in, thrusting just enough to make your eyes water. You fondle his balls, hanging low and heavy, earning a guttural grunt from him as he struggles not to overwhelm you. 

 It doesn’t take long before you cum on Kensei’s tongue, your shrill calls muffled by the cock in your mouth, pussy and clit spasming simultaneously in orgasmic relief. Hisagi quickly pulls out and starts palming himself, looking at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of lust, trying to stave off his climax. 

Your mind is in a fog, still reeling from orgasm, so you don’t protest as Hisagi and Kensei begin to reposition themselves, until you find yourself laying down on Hiasgi’s body in reverse, your dripping sex now almost touching his face while his cock stands at the perfect angle for you to take it into your mouth.

“Rise up on your knees a little baby,” Hisagi’s voice instructs you as he pats the sides of your legs. In a trance, you listen hypnotically, raising your weight, trying not to feel shy as Hisagi’s fingers spread apart the folds of your pussy like flower petals, reveling in the glaze your pussy has from its recent orgasm, feeling intoxicated by the tang of arousal and need. “You smell so good…” The tip of Hisagi’s nose enters your opening as he inhales and you squirm, embarrassment rising, as he shushes you amusedly. 

Kensei’s large hand rests on the curve of your ass, squeezing, before drawing your cheeks apart, looking at the view. “All pink and pretty and nice,” he murmurs. “Shuhei, check her.”

You gasp in surprise as Hisagi inserts his fingers into you, fingers reaching into you and scissoring, your still sensitive pussy jolting with pleasure.

“Ready,” Hisagi confirms, withdrawing and using the gathered moisture to rub at your clit, causing you to buck and bring your pussy right on his face.

“Relax baby,” Kensei runs his hands down your back, shoulders to ass, calming you down. “Don’t be tense…this is all fun, remember?” He presses warm kisses between your shoulder blades and makes his way down, and you sigh, trusting them with your care. Hiasgi laps at your slickened bud delicately, the feeling soft and undemanding. You whimper and then take his cock into your mouth, letting your desires act out for you, enjoying the way Hisgai also moans as you pleasure each other.

You squeak as Kensei adjusts you slightly, grabbing your hips and raising you a little higher so that your weight is on your toes, then before you can understand what is happening, his tip touches your leaking hole and pushes in. He stretches you so deliciously, filling the empty space that had been craving for something to grasp. Your noises of pleasure reverberate against Hisagi’s cock and as Kensei begins to thrust, the tip of his cockhead angling so that it hits your G-spot, you feel the edges of your vision beginning to fade. 

So this was what marriage to Kensei would be like, your remaining brain cell thinks to itself, as you lazily lick and suck Hisagis’s dick, while he continues working on your clit. Their combined sensations are overwhelmingly gratifying and you know you wouldn’t last long against both of them. 

“Enjoying that cock?” Kensei’s voice teases from above you. “I guess you can’t really tell me which one,” he chuckles before playfully slapping your ass. You giggle against the meat in your mouth and continue bobbing your head, Hisagi groaning against your pussy as he controls himself from cumming. “Almost there?” Kensei asks, taking cues from your movements.

“Mm-hmm,” you manage to mumble, unwilling to leave Hisagi. 

“Good…let it happen…” Kensei fucks into you with a consistent rhythm, Hisagi matching his tongue to go at the same pace. Hisagi grits his teeth together, feeling hot and flushed, while Kensei is barely holding back his grunts of pleasure, all three of you driving each other to the end. 

As your second orgasm of the night hits, you feel Kensei’s cock twitch and spasm inside you, feel the gush of warm liquid coat your inner walls as he spills his seed into you, and at the same time, Hisagi shoots bullets of sticky cum into your throat. You pull back to swallow, some of it dripping back down on the sides of cock, pooling into his dark hair.

You sigh in relief and rest your cheek on Hisagi’s hip as Kensei pulls out of you.

“How was it?” Kensei moves towards your head and grabs you under the arms, pulling you up the bed and cradling you against his chest as he leans back on the pillows. Hisagi cleans himself off before joining you as well. 

“It was really good.” You lay comfortably between both of them, Hisagi gently stroking your arm, Kensei supporting your weight. “Like, amazing.”

Both the men chuckle approvingly. “Glad to hear it third seat.” Hisagi pats your ass with affection, making you blush.

“Hey now Shuhei, don’t just go patting my future wife’s ass without permission now,” Kensei almost barks the words but you can hear the humor in them. “And for future reference, no uncommunicated sex. That goes for both of you,” he adds. “I want to be there every time.”

“Of course taicho,” you agree, and Hiasgi hums in acceptance. You raise your head inquiringly, and Kensei arches an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Maybe…we could cut it down from 5 years?”

Kensei’s roaring laugh fills the bedroom and you and Hisagi join in, knowing this won’t be the last time this happens. 

all banners and dividers by @/ cafekitsune

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@dreaming-about-seireitei , @the-eternal-sunflower

[the-hoetei-13]

Headcanons: Clueless

You try to tell the Bleach men you have feelings for them, but they keep missing the point. (Continue reading below the GIF)

**Jushiro Ukitake:**

You catch Ukitake reading a book in a peaceful corner of the Seireitei. Taking a deep breath, you approach him and say,  “Ukitake taicho, I must admit, you're like the sunshine on a cloudy day for me." He looks up with a soft smile, "Well, I'm glad I can bring a little light into your life."

When the line doesn’t work:

You start bringing Ukitake little gifts, like bookmarks with little koi or swans, hoping he'll catch on to the symbolism. He graciously accepts them, admiring the craftsmanship, but he doesn't seem to make the connection. "These are lovely, thank you. You have a good eye for detail." (You want to rip out your hair but the man is so adorable)

**Byakuya Kuchiki:**

 You find Byakuya tending to his garden, meticulously arranging the flowers. You pluck up your courage and say, "Kuchiki Taicho, you know, you're like a rare bloom in my heart." He raises an eyebrow, looking slightly surprised, but there's a faint hint of a smile. "Your words are unexpected, but appreciated."

When the line doesn’t work:

You subtly incorporate flower motifs into your clothing and accessories, hoping Byakuya will notice. He compliments your style, appreciating the elegance, but he doesn't realize the underlying message. "Your sense of fashion is impeccable. It's a rare sight." (Seems puzzled when you frustratedly walk out. “Maybe she doesn’t like being complimented”)

**Kensei Muguruma:**

You spot Kensei training fiercely, his muscles flexing with every strike. Trying not to be intimidated, you approach him and say, "Muguruma taicho, you hit my heart harder than you hit those training dummies." He stops, looking genuinely perplexed. "What the hell does that even mean, kid?"

When the line doesn’t work:

You try to join Kensei in his training sessions, hoping to impress him with your dedication. He's genuinely impressed by your determination, but he assumes you're just eager to become a stronger fighter. "You've got real guts, kid. Keep it up." (At this point, you lie dead on the ground from the intensity of the workout)

**Rose Otoribashi:**

You find Rose composing a new song, his melodious voice filling the air. Taking a deep breath, you confess, "Taicho, your music speaks to my soul in a way that words can't describe." He pauses, a gentle smile forming. "Well, I'm glad to know my music has touched someone so deeply."

When the line doesn’t work:

You attend all of Rose's performances, often standing near the stage, hoping he'll spot you in the crowd. He acknowledges your presence with a grateful smile, thinking you're simply a fan of his music. "I'm glad to see a familiar face in the audience. Your support means a lot." (You disappointedly lower your “I heart Rose” sign)

**Shinji Hirako:**

You come across Shinji, who's flipping a coin with his trademark grin. Taking a deep breath, you blurt out, "Shinji, you've turned my world upside down, and I don't mind one bit." He chuckles, catching the coin effortlessly. "Well, ain't that somethin'? You've got a way with words, kid."

When the line doesn’t work:

You try to engage in playful banter with Shinji, using phrases like "upside down" or "turn my world around" in your conversations. He chuckles, appreciating your sense of humor, but he doesn't seem to grasp the deeper meaning behind your words. "You've got a sharp wit, kid. I like that." (You know he’s playing dumb on purpose, to see how far you’ll go before admitting your feelings)

**Abarai Renji:**

You stumble upon Renji while he's training, sweat pouring down his face. Gathering your courage, you say, "Renji, you've carved a special place in my heart, right next to your tattoos." He stops mid-swing, looking at you with wide eyes. "You've got a strange way of saying things, but I appreciate the sentiment."

When the line doesn’t work:

You make an effort to spend more time with Renji, often suggesting activities you both enjoy. He appreciates the camaraderie and enjoys your company, but he interprets it as genuine friendship. "It's always fun hangin' out with you. You're a good friend, you know that?" (You throw the volleyball at his head before stalking off)

**Shuhei Hisagi:**

You find Hisagi engrossed in his paperwork, his brows furrowed in concentration. Taking a deep breath, you say, "Hisagi, you're like a calming breeze in the chaos of my thoughts." He looks up, surprised, but there's a warmth in his eyes. "I never thought paperwork could lead to such compliments."

When the line doesn’t work: 

You leave little notes with calming quotes on Hisagi's desk, hoping he'll see the connection between the words and your previous confession. He smiles at the gestures, finding them uplifting, but he doesn't realize they're deeper meaning. "These notes always brighten up my day. Thank you." (You’re not stuck in the friend zone, he’s buried you in it, 6 feet deep)

**Ichigo Kurosaki:**

You come across Ichigo while he's practicing his swordsmanship, determination in his eyes. Summoning your courage, you confess, "Ichigo, you've sliced through my defenses and taken hold of my heart." He blinks, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "Uh, thanks, I think?"

When the line doesn’t work:

You try to engage in meaningful conversations with Ichigo, sharing your thoughts and feelings in hopes he'll pick up on your affection. He appreciates your openness and considers you a close friend, but he doesn't seem to see your feelings beyond that. "It's nice having someone I can talk to like this." (Rukia whacks him for being dense which only angers him, and now you’re stuck watching them fight)

**Uryuu Ishida:**

You find Ishida focused on sewing, his hands moving with precision. Taking a deep breath, you say, "Ishida, you mend more than just fabric; you've stitched yourself into my heart." He looks up, a hint of surprise before a small smile graces his lips. "Well, that's an unusual way to put it, but I appreciate the sentiment."

When the line doesn’t work:

You subtly start leaving him embroidered handkerchiefs with little hearts and flowers in the corners, hoping Uryuu will notice the hidden symbols. He admires your attention to detail and craftsmanship, but he assumes it's just your signature touch. "Your work is truly impeccable. You have a true talent for this." (You stab him with a sewing needle and walk away)

[the-hoetei-13]

Bleach Headcanons: Love Languages

What are their love languages?

Jushiro Ukitake - Quality Time Ukitake values quality time above all else. He expresses his affection by spending peaceful moments with you often taking leisurely walks through serene gardens or arranging quiet tea sessions. His genuine interest in your thoughts and feelings, paired with his attentive listening, creates an atmosphere where you feel deeply understood and cherished.

Izuru Kira - Acts of Service Kira expresses his affection through acts of service. He'd go out of his way to help you with anything they need, whether it's assisting with daily tasks, offering support during challenging times, or surprising you with small gestures like preparing meals or aiding in your duties. Kira's selfless nature and willingness to be there for you speak volumes about his feelings.

Byakuya Kuchiki - Gift Giving Byakuya demonstrates his love through carefully selected gifts. He shows his affection by presenting you with elegant and meaningful items, ranging from exquisite flowers to rare and beautiful objects. Each gift symbolizes his feelings and represents his desire to express his affection in a sophisticated and refined manner.

Ichigo Kurosaki - Physical Touch Ichigo's love language leans toward physical touch. He expresses his feelings through comforting hugs, reassuring touches, or even playful teasing. Whether it's a pat on the shoulder or a supportive arm around your shoulders, Ichigo's way of showing care and affection is through physical closeness, conveying his emotions without the need for many words.

Rose Otoribashi - Words of Affirmation Rojuro's love language revolves around words of affirmation. He expresses his feelings by showering you with genuine compliments, poetic verses, and heartfelt declarations. He constantly reaffirms his admiration and appreciation for you using his charismatic charm and eloquence to make you feel cherished and valued.

Kensei Muguruma - Acts of Service Kensei demonstrates his love through actions rather than words. He expresses affection by quietly taking care of you, ensuring your safety, and offering unwavering support. Whether it's standing up for you in a tough situation or training tirelessly to protect you, Kensei's dedication and actions speak volumes about his feelings.

Shuhei Hisagi - Quality Time Hisagi treasures quality time. He expresses his affection by engaging in deep conversations, spending quiet moments together, and participating in shared hobbies or interests. Hisagi's attentive and understanding nature make you feel heard and appreciated, fostering a strong emotional connection.

Kisuke Urahara - Words of Affirmation Urahara's love language revolves around words of affirmation. He expresses his feelings through playful banter, witty remarks, and encouraging words. Urahara consistently reassures you, providing guidance and support through clever advice and insightful observations, making you feel understood and valued.

Renji Abarai - Physical Touch Renji's love language centers around physical touch. He expresses his feelings through tactile gestures, such as comforting hugs, playful shoulder punches, or offering his hand for support. Renji's way of demonstrating care and affection is through close physical proximity, seeking to connect with you through comforting embraces and gestures that convey his emotions without the need for elaborate words.

Shinji Hirako - Words of Affirmation Shinji expresses his affection through playful banter and teasing remarks. His witty comments are often laced with humor, aiming to lighten the mood and bring a smile to your face. He creates a comfortable and friendly atmosphere through his teasing, making you feel at ease in his presence. Shinji's playful nature helps in breaking down barriers and fostering a casual rapport.

[the-hoetei-13]

Bleach Headcanons : Oddities Part 2

More weird stuff that members of the Gotei 13 do. Part 1 can be found here.

Genryusai Yamamoto

Enjoys knitting and spends his evenings creating intricate scarves and blankets for his squad members. He considers it a form of meditation and finds solace in the rhythmic clicking of the knitting needles.

Has a hidden stash of adorable cat-themed trinkets in his office, gifts from squad members over the years. 

Has a peculiar habit of conducting morning exercises with his subordinates, insisting on leading synchronized stretching sessions that include overly enthusiastic jumping jacks and cartwheels, much to everyone's surprise.

Shunsui Kyoraku 

Composes dramatic, overly poetic love letters to his favorite sake brands, expressing his undying devotion and appreciation for their taste.

Is known to challenge squad members to bizarre competitions, such as a haiku battle or a contest to see who can take the longest nap. He always claims victory, regardless of the actual outcome.

Keeps a stash of disguises in his office and occasionally infiltrates other squads just for fun, but he's always caught due to his distinctively lazy demeanor

Izuru Kira

Has a secret collection of adorable plush toys hidden in his office. Whenever he's stressed, he takes a break with these plushies, assigning different voices and personalities to each one. 

Creates a mini zen garden in his office and spends hours meticulously arranging the sand and tiny rocks, finding solace and inner peace in its careful maintenance.

Collects unusual stationery and spends his downtime experimenting with different types of ink and quills. 

Toshiro Hitsugaya

Develops an unexpected fascination with ice sculpting and spends his free time sculpting intricate, mini ice replicas of notable Seireitei landmarks. He insists they're just practice, but secretly cherishes them in his office. 

Unintentionally is a magnet for lost animals in the Seireitei, and his squad often finds him shooing out stray cats and birds from his office.

 Becomes overly protective of the squad's refrigerator, labeling each item with his name and fiercely defending his snacks from any potential thieves within the squad, even going as far as setting up "ice traps" to catch unauthorized snack bandits

Zaraki Kenpachi

Pretty sure he’s adopted a pet kitten that he secretly dotes on in his spare time. He refuses to acknowledge its existence in front of anyone and grumbles about "just tolerating its presence," but his squad members catch glimpses of him sneaking it bits of fish and milk.

Started a food stall called "Kenpachi's Cooking Corner" where he attempts to teach his squad how to cook. The sessions usually end in chaos and burnt food, but everyone participates out of fear of upsetting him.

Enjoys reading shoujo manga in secret and has a vast collection stashed away in his office, fiercely denying their existence whenever someone accidentally discovers them, insisting that he got them for Yachiru. 

Mayuri Kurotsuchi 

Holds "Bring Your Weirdest Invention to Work" days in his lab, encouraging his subordinates to create the most outlandish and impractical gadgets imaginable. However, he always mysteriously makes his own invention vanish right before the judging, claiming it was too advanced for everyone else to comprehend

Holds a weekly "Fashion Forward Friday" where he experiments with unconventional clothing designs, resulting in outrageous outfits that his squad members struggle to comprehend

Has a peculiar habit of meticulously organizing his lab by arranging test tubes and equipment according to their color gradients, which nobody dares disturb for fear of incurring his wrath

Becomes obsessed with perfecting the art of making perfectly shaped and flavored jelly desserts. His squad members often find themselves unwilling taste-testers for his latest bizarre jelly concoctions

[the-hoetei-13]

Bleach Headcanons: Oddities

Weird stuff members of the Gotei 13 do.

Shinji Hirako:

Buys candy from the human world, like gummy bears or cotton candy. Claims it helps build team morale. 

You know Urahara is the one smuggling these goods from the human world

“I can write it off as a work expenditure!” He claims when you ask him about the expenditure budget

Hosts “Reverse Days” where his squad members wear their shihakusho inside out. People who try to speak backwards are rewarded with smuggled gummy bears. 

Jushiro Ukitake:

Has a bad habit of removing his haori when it gets too hot and forgets where he left it

Hosts weekly tea parties to promote the squad members becoming familiar with each other. 

Of course he brings a touch of “Alice in Wonderland’ to these tea parties by making cute little hats for everyone to wear

Pats his zanpakuto randomly like you would the head of a dog and whispers “good job” to it, even when it’s not being used

Byakuya Kuchiki: 

The man uses Shunpo instead of walking everywhere. He can’t risk sweating in front of his peers. He’s a noble for God’s sake. 

Pretty sure he has a hand mirror stowed away in a drawer at his desk. He uses it to make sure his kenseikan haven’t slipped out of place. 

Talks to Senbonzakura when he’s trying to figure out a situation “No I can’t do that! Because we can’t just cut down everything. We can’t slice through a bakery just because they were out of our favorite buns.”

Rose Otoribashi:

He hosts a weekly karaoke night with the squad members. Kira unwillingly attends, muttering he’d rather write haikus than sing.

Has a few guitars hanging around the office, and depending on how he’s feeling, a different one will be playing chords. 

Can be heard practicing his vocals when he thinks no one is around (he has a nice voice though, so no one is complaining)

Applauds himself for an encore anytime he gets a task done

Renji Abarai: 

Likes hearing about Gotei 13 gossip. He’ll wander into the break room under the pretense of wanting tea, but he will keep his ears open for anything juicy

Probably readjusts that ponytail 20 times a day because it gives him a headache. Why would he tie it that tight? No one knows. 

Folds origami in his spare time. He may be big, but his hands can fold paper into very delicate creations

Kensei Muguruma:

Secretly afraid of butterflies. He’ll swat one away if it gets too near. Spends his day looking for ways to keep butterflies away. There are no plants near his office or quarters because of this.

Keeps a tube of hair gel ready nearby in case his mohawk starts to fall down

Can’t sleep at night without a weighted blanket. He may be a tough guy, but even he needs some comfort to fall asleep. 

[the-hoetei-13]

Bleach Headcanons: Mistletoe

Banner by animated glitter graphics-n-more

Some of the men find you under mistletoe. What would they do?

Jushiro Ukitake He would chuckle softly and approach y/n with a gentle smile, expressing his amusement at the situation. “Ah, the mistletoe surprise! Tradition is tradition, after all." Being the kind-hearted person he is, he'd graciously embrace the tradition and lightly lean in to share a quick, chaste kiss.

Byakuya Kuchiki Showing his composed demeanor, Byakuya might initially appear stoic, but his subtle smirk would give away his amusement. His façade would crack ever so slightly, a rare amused glint in his eyes. He'd lean in but then stop just before their lips meet, teasingly whispering, "Close, but not quite," and then walk away with a small smirk.

Kensei Muguruma He'd react with a mix of surprise and a rough chuckle, scratching the back of his head in mild embarrassment, looking at the mistletoe and then at y/n. "Guess this thing's got us trapped, huh?" With a gruff laugh, he'd lean in but then chicken out at the last second, giving a playful noogie instead. "Better luck next time, rookie!"

Rose Otoribashi Being suave and charismatic, Rose would greet the situation with a charming grin, teasing the reader with a play on mistletoe related song lyrics. “I might not be Santa Claus, but everyone will know who kissed you last night!” He'd smoothly lean in, placing a flirtatious kiss on the reader's cheek while making a lighthearted comment about the romantic atmosphere.

Shinji Hirako With a mischievous glint in his eye, Shinji would find the situation hilarious and would certainly use it to his advantage to tease the reader. He'd playfully act shocked, feigning innocence. "What's this? Mistletoe? Oh no, we're doomed!" He'd lean in towards your lips but then at the last minute pull away. "Fooled ya! Can't make it that easy!"

Ichigo Kurosaki Flustered and awkward, Ichigo would stumble over his words and gestures, clearly embarrassed. Blushing furiously, he'd stammer, "I-I guess we have to, right?" With a nervous smile, he'd lean in but slip up on the timing, bumping foreheads with unintended force. "Oops! Sorry! Did I hurt you?” He’ll probably rub your forehead as compensation. 

Kisuke Urahara With his trademark mysterious smile, Urahara would likely tease the situation in his usual enigmatic way, making a witty comment or two about the unexpectedness of mistletoe. Although probably, he’s rigged the mistletoe in some way to hover over you. He'd play along, planting a brief but charming kiss on the lips, all the while maintaining his laid-back attitude. 

Shuhei Hisagi Bashful Hisagi would be taken aback at first, blushing furiously and stumbling over his words in surprise. He'd shyly agree to follow the tradition, quickly bending forward to give a clumsy kiss on the cheek before disappearing. 

Izuru Kira Being the polite and reserved soul he is, Kira would initially be taken aback, blushing and feeling flustered by the situation. He'd blush deeply. "I-I suppose it's customary..." He'd lean in with a shy smile, but at the last moment, he'd accidentally peck the reader's nose instead, apologizing profusely. "I-I'm sorry! That wasn't what I intended!"

Zaraki Kenpachi With a hearty laugh, Zaraki would scratch the back of his head, amused by the situation. "What's this? Mistletoe, huh? I don't know about these fancy traditions." Despite his tough exterior, he'd grin mischievously and lean in, but just before reaching the mistletoe, he'd sling an arm around the reader's shoulder in a playful headlock instead. "Ha! You thought I'd follow the rules? Not my style! But hey, happy holidays anyway!"

[the-hoetei-13]

Hello! I’ve read you are taking hc requests. Can I ask about Gin and Sosuke (separetely) finding their s/o asleep in their bed even if they had somehow decided to have some quality time together? I was thinking of something funny if that makes sense🩷

Sorry this took so long!

Gin:

I get the feeling Gin would probably be very amused and flattered at the same time finding his s/o asleep in his bed.

Sure, he was looking forward to having dinner with you after a long day at work, but what’s a man to do?

Your hair is messy and you’re drooling onto your pillow, wearing a ratty oversized Tshirt. He takes out his phone and snaps a few pictures of you. He thinks you’re adorable but the truth is he took them for ransoming purposes.

If you EVER fall asleep again when you have plans with him, he will post these on his social media. He’ll add the cute hashtags like ‘sleepybaby’ or ‘isntshecute’ but at least he knows you’ll be prepared the next time you make plans.

Sosuke:

You dared fall asleep on this prima donna? Oh that simply wouldn’t do.

At first, he’s tempted to just let you sleep and when you wake up, milk your guilt for all its worth. But that still means not spending any quality time with you.

So he tries subtle things to wake you up. Blowing on you face, purposely turning up the TV too loudly, wandering through the house opening and closing the doors loudly.

When none of that works, he picks up your cat and, not too gently, tosses him on the bed. The resounding yelp from the cat and you reacting to the shock effectively wakes you up. He’ll sympathetically stroke your hair, acting like he didn’t have a hand at all in waking you.

”I told you to close the door while you’re sleeping, that cat of yours always does stupid things. Now look, you were woken up when you were sleeping so soundly. Ohh that’s right, we did have plans. Well since you’re up now, how about you start getting ready? We can still make our reservation in time if you hurry.”

[the-hoetei-13]

Can I plsss request for a jushiro nsfw and sfw

My first request! Here you go!

SFW:

Pretty sure this man knows how to draw and boy! Does he love drawing you. He’ll remember you in certain poses like with a teacup in your hand, watching the sunset, or when you’re training with your zanpakuto. He’s  shy to show you his drawings, but you find them anyway and are touched and mesmerized by the beautiful watercolors. 

He’ll show some PDA but in a very loving and respectful manner, like holding hands or giving you forehead kisses. 

Will not eat dinner without you. He likes having you around at mealtimes because it enforces the feeling of family and being with a loved one. 

NSFW:

This man has been around for a while, so he’s heard every kink in the book. However, the one he refuses to do is degradation. On any level. To him, the thought of degrading someone he loves and respects makes him uncomfortable. He acknowledges it's a thing, but it's not for him. 

Conversely, this makes him the king of praise kink. “Look how pretty you are when you’re aroused.” “Good girl, you’re taking me so well.” “You taste so sweet my love.” “My perfect girl, always ready for me.”

Loves positions where he can see your face and maintain lots of body contact. Lotus, Missionary, Mating Press. Be prepared for intense eye contact and lots of kissing. He loves the romantic aspect of sex. 

[the-hoetei-13]

Byakuya Headcanon

Based off an anon ask and a comment by @kashimoswife

Original post can be found here

Divider by @/ cafekitsune

Icons by @/ happy-nua-edits 

Byakuya finding his s/o asleep when they had plans together:

1. Byakuya's response is going to depend mostly on how important the plans were. Anniversary? Livid. Just you and him for a typical dinner together? Disapponted perhaps.

2. Then there's other factors he'll consider, such as maybe you had a tiring day? Perhaps you're not well? He has patience depending on what the responses to these are.

3. He'll wait for you to wake up, then question you methodically. "Are you ill?" "Did you overexert yourself at work today?" "Were the servants not doing their jobs efficiently?"

4. It's rather a lot like being put on trial, before he passes judgement. Which, depending on your answers coud honestly vary from understanding, to sympathy, or mild rage.

5. Do not fall asleep on him without giving advance notice if you wish to avoid the trial. With the exception of you being sick, he expects you to be prettied up and ready to go. He also comes home tired and you can't keep using that excuse since it's disresectful to his own efforts to see you as planned.

[the-hoetei-13]

Hi Vee ✨

Could I request a small fic or hc.

Where bleach men (especially, Shunsui, this guys voice… omw) find out their s/o has a thing for their voice.

It can be suggestive if you want✨

Bleach men finding out their s/o likes their voice

Well hello there! Hmm I'm just going to add in my faves here in addition to Shunsui. And yes Shunsui's voice...a lot of men from Bleach have that really deep voice that makes us sigh with longing.

Shunsui:

Honestly, he's flattered when he finds out you have a thing for his voice. He knows he's sexy, but to know that you think his voice is really attractive puts him at a different level.

He's going to ask for specifics. What about it is so attractive to you? "It's just...deep. Kind of makes me want to keep listening to hear what you'll say." "Hmm...maybe I'll say some things to make you blush, my sweet flower?"

And he'll do just that and the things he says range from sweet whispers to some really dirty talking. "You look so pretty today darling. That color yukata flatters you. But I think you look much better when I'm taking it off you, don't you agree?"

He's going to use that voice to make you weak and blush until you're hiding your face from embarrassment

Ukitake

He's a humble man so when you tell him you have a thing for his voice, he's going to be surprised and then a little shy. "My voice? Really?" "Yeah! It's just so calming and steady. It makes me feel reassured and comforted"

When he learns this, his heart swells with love and pride that he can make his s/o feel this way. It's so personal and intimate for him.

He'll use it to put you to sleep. Late at night as you rest your head on his chest, he'll stroke your hair and whisper the most gentle things to you. "You are so peaceful when you sleep." "I hope you know just how precious you are to me." "I'm so blessed to have you."

And you'll soon realize the most favorite thing you love to hear his voice say is your name.

Byakuya:

You like his voice? Well that's not unexpected. He likes yours too. Why would you be with someone if you didn't like their voice?

But deep down, there's a sense of satisfaction that you like his voice. It means he can talk to you in a more personal way that he won't with others.

You'll pick up on the little tones and nuances in his voice that he reserves only for you. Talking may be a form of communication but it's like his voice has its own personal language just for you.

"Are you getting a headache Byakuya?" "Hmm? How did you know?" "Your voice has that weary undertone to it." He'll keep his composure but he's blushing on the inside with the knowledge that you can read him like a book no matter how stoic he looks on the outside.

[the-hoetei-13]

Hello. Can I request a continuation of the fic about s/o liking the voice of the Bleach men? (Shinji is preferable, the rest is up to your taste). Thank you~

Shinji is such a shit-talker imo, so this was fun to write.

Shinji is going to be thrilled when he finds out you like his voice, so much to the point that he's going to brag about it to anyone who'll listen.

He's going to use it to make you blush, but unlike Shunsui whose naughty whispers are almost tender, he's going to say the most filthy things to you and he's not necessarily going to keep it private. There's a sort of strong possessiveness in him when you're blushing in public and he knows it's because of something he said.

"Shinji cut it out!" "Why? Thought you liked my voice doll...I know you're turned on...if I slip my fingers now..." At which point you'll smack him for being such a little shit

But he does have his moments. Bad day? He'll validate your feelings and bitch about whoever gave you a hard time. Hearing it from him changes everything.

[the-hoetei-13]

Hi! I discovered your blog recently and have really enjoyed what I’ve read so far, so thank you so much for writing!!!

I was also wondering if you wrote for Shuhei Hisagi (bleach), and if so, could I request a “reader likes their voice” headcanon for him?

This is my first request (ever) and I know it’s an “ask”, but I feel weird ending it with a question so I’d rather end it by saying again that I love your work and just thank you so much for writing! 😊

Well hello there! I'm glad you've been enjoying my writing! I write for almost all the Bleach characters except for a few Espada and Arrancars that I don't really care for. Hisagi is just so freaking adorable, I think people are too hard on him.

Physically a virgin but looks like a whore just about sums up this man. If you tell him you like his voice, he will blush all the way into next week.

He's going to be bashful about it, but also very flattered and he's probably going to need to hear it a few more times before it sinks in.

"So you really, really, like my voice?" "Yes, I really, really, do." "Because...?" "It's firm and reassuring."

Ooh boy, you've done it now, he's going to ride that ego boost for the rest of the year.

He's probably not the kind to show off to the other shinigami that you like his voice, it's too personal for him to share, but knowing that you have a thing for it will bring out all the endearments in private.

[the-hoetei-13]

Ok stay with me on this. I think it's a common HC that Urahara is pretty kinky. And I think he was pretty talented with kido, considering he literally made a new kido spell to contain Aizen.

There must be a kido of sorts that crushes it's opponents with pressure. Which Urahara learns to control with mind-numbing precision. He'll learn to focus it on certain parts of your body-your clit in particular.

You're minding your own business, working in the shop and then gasp as amazingly perfect pulsating pressure begins to work between your legs, making you moan.

The bastard wasn't even anywhere to be seen, and you clenched your teeth trying not to succumb to the overwhelming need of needing something hard and velvety sliding into your already drenched pussy.

Urahara saunters into the shop with that smug shit-eating grin. "Anything wrong m'dear? You look rather flushed," he drawls, as you glare daggers at him.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" You could smack him, that taunting look on his face getting on one particularly senstive, needy nerve.

"Pants off."

"Ooh...Now why would I do that? Is there something you need from me that's in there?"

Just as you're about to give up he pulls you toward him, purring hotly against your ear, "You should really learn to ask nicer." And you feel the rhythmic pinch-release-pinch-release sensation on your clit quicken and become harder. You almost cry out, gripping the front of his clothes tightly.

"Please."

"That's more like it."

He helps you hop up onto the shop counter, your legs spreading out needily before sinking his lengthy cock in between your folds.

He somehow manages to keep the kinky kido going as he fucks into you, bottoming out and hitting your sweet spot each time.

You cum hard and fast, whimpering for him to turn down the kido afterwards, laying back on the counter, panting as he watches you writhe, the sensation overstimulating your sensitive bud.

"I think you have one more in you. Cmon my sweet girl."

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[the-hoetei-13]

Braided Hair

Type: Drabble-ish Premise: The effects of braiding Ukitake’s hair. Pairing: No specific pair, but Ukitake X s/o I guess

You should have known it was a mistake. But how were you supposed to have known that the reactions would have occurred at such a scale?

As you walked with him, you could see the women blushing and looking at him covetingly. A few of them came forward, wishing him good morning, and he pleasantly returned their greetings, unaware of his effect on them.

Even Shunsui’s typical greeting of “Hey there handsome”, seemed too flirtatious in this moment. Your grip tightened on the sleeve of his haori.

Noticing this, he frowns. “Is everything all right?”

“No.” You walk towards his office and slide the door shut.

You look at your creation, which you were so proud of earlier today. Jushiro had been constantly pushing his hair away from his face when you decided enough was enough and put it back in a braid. A few strands had been left out and framed his beautiful face, but he had acknowledged how much easier it was to work with his hair out of the way. Years of being a bachelor had left him without any time to really care for his appearance so he loved that you put in this effort.

“What’s the problem?” He asks pleasantly.

“You. This braid. It’s made you too attractive. Every woman was practically drooling over you. Even though I was right there!”

Jushiro blinks, unaware. “They were just being polite. It’s not every day a captain changes his hairstyle.”

“How are you the only person who can have his hair put back and look more attractive than usual? Byakuya looks ridiculous when his hair is in a ponytail.”

Ukitake stifles a chuckle because your jealousy is so obvious right now. “And it’s the women’s fault now is it?”

“Yes. They should move on and mind their business. Sniffing around a committed man.”

“And who made me so irresistible to their attention?” ”…Me.” You hate admitting it. “But that’s over now. Let’s take out the braid.”

“But I like it like this. I don’t have to struggle with it being in my face, or falling down on my reports…”

His expression cuts through your jealousy and you sigh. He holds out his arms and you obediently go to him. Wrapped in a hug, everything seems much better. “Fine you can keep it. But can you get better at ignoring the women?”

He laughs, amused. “I’ll try. Perhaps, I’ll just wave my hand instead of verbally acknowledging them.”

You nod solemnly. “I think that’ll work.”

“What about Shunsui?”

You grin at him. “Shunsui I can accept.”

He laughs out loud. “And may I ask why?”

“He’s the only one I don’t mind sharing you with.” The both of you laugh together, your jealousy all gone.