kurxmi09

[kurxmi09]

it’s so heartbreaking to realize that i’m not getting better.. it’s just phases of good, then bad, then repeat.. no matter how good i think i’m doing, it always seems to get bad again..

[kurxmi09]

I guess you could call it textbook

I was lookin for a father I wanted back

[kurxmi09]

No cuz I love being a stoner but why the fuck do I have to go outside to spark up like it’s literally raining rn how tf am I supposed to smoke?

Can’t smoke inside unfortunately, that’s why I love pills cause I don’t have to run outside to get high lol

[kurxmi09]

Not encouraging doing hard drugs but it’s helped me sm to lose weight. I used to do coke about a year ago and it was the worst time of my life but I was sooo skinny I kind of miss it lol

[kurxmi09]

One of the worst things about being an addict is realising that you’ve become a terrible person. I just feel so guilty because my friends and family are so worried about me and they try to help me and I just know that I cause them so many problems and that I really hurt them with the things I say and do but I just can’t stop taking drugs.

I feel so guilty because my family wasn’t even bad, ofc there are problems but I recently realised I was the biggest problem in the friend group and family and I don’t really know what to do.

They don’t understand why I take drugs but it’s the only thing that makes me feel okay and I just want more. I’m not strong enough to stop. It’s so hard to stop once you know what it feels like.

Sometimes I feel like I should just commit or run away or something so the people around me don’t have to worry about me anymore and can be happy again.

[kurxmi09]

Reblog if you need mutuals ED Drvg Blogs (Pr0-4na)

[kurxmi09]

tw: drvgs

I don’t really know who will read this but I just need to get this off my chest rn, pls don’t report, if you don’t feel comfortable with the topic just block me…

I’ve gotten into drvgs a few years ago and my addiction got really bad at times, but somehow I managed to get clean for the past months, with exception from really light stuff like alcohol or weed but no hard stuff until recently. I feel so guilty for relapsing because it took me so long to recover from the past bad times but being sober just feels impossible now. It’s literally all I think about and I just need to feel this again even though I know it’s not right.

I just don’t know what to do bcuz I can’t afford things to get bad again but it’s all I want. When I’m high it just feels like I’m at home and everything is going to be okay and no bad things ever happened and I just miss this feeling sm

This probably sounds so cheesy rn but idc I just needed to rant real quick because I honestly feel like I can’t ever get myself out and I’m going to be a junkie forever.

[kurxmi09]

The feminine urge to be the highest in the room

[kurxmi09]

anyone else feels like life isn’t real lately or just me? It either feels like I don’t really exist or the world around me doesn’t and its just so weird lol

[kurxmi09]

spark up and kiss here?