krahduzun

[krahduzun]

36 lessons, Summarised

So if anyone was ever curious about what all went on in the 36 lessons of Vivec, in a haze of caffeine, boredom and and insomnia, 4 pages of writing IRL later. I summarized them to the best of my abilities.

Are they 100% accurate, probably not, but what do you want from a tired burn-out with nothing else to do?

Anyhoo, The 36 Lessons of Vivec, summarized.

Quick thing before we start, I know the subject of Vivec's identity and stuff is a bit of a contentious subject in certain circles of the community, we're going with he/him pronouns on this as it was written in the original source material.

Please do not jump down my throat if you have a problem with it. It's not meant in bad faith.

Also, passages marked with ***, believe me, I tried. I tried my damned best to make sense of it but much like Seal's song Kiss From a Rose, it's either a whole lot of words not saying much, or it'll take a smarter person than me to figure it out.

And finally, I'm gonna be using abbreviations.(ALM, SI, VI, N.) This is a long enough undertaking, and I'm not typing out the same names 100 times to make it longer.

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Sermon 1: Almalexia (Ayem/ALM) finds a netch rancher's(netchiman) wife, prophesizes at her, and throws her in the ocean. As you do. Dreughs find her, take her home, slap gills on her, turn her into a hermaphrodite and she chills for 7-8 months. Sotha Sil (Seht/SI) shows up, tells the netchiman's wife(NW) she's pregnant with his brother, then sends her back to land where she chills for another 7-8 months teaching the unborn Vivec (Vehk/VI) the Codes of Mephala, Prophecies of Veloth, and the forbidden teachings of Trinimac.

7 Daedra, The Barons Who Move Like This(like from ESO's Maelstrom Arena) teach unborn VI how to move. The demiprince Fa-Nuit-Hen (Also of Maelstrom infamy) shows up, tells NW to go to Indoril lands in 3 month's time. They join the Barons, teach VI some more moves and peace out.

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Sermon 2: NW searches for Indoril lands, meets some spirits. The spirits teach unborn VI some stuff. Spirit 1 hugs NW, VI does a few flips and says thanks. Spirit 2 couldn't be bothered to act so left with a headache. There's a 3rd spirit, At-Hatoor, he wears whack clothes, VI calls him out on it, At-Hatoor agrees and dips out. Spirits 4 and 5 are cousins, this is important for some reason, they prophesize at VI and also dip out. The 6th spirit is actually Mephala, who cesareans VI out of NW after blinding her. VI merges with Mephala for a second, steals some secrets, Mephala doesn't like it, and puts him back in NW but leaves her blind.

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Sermon 3: NW wanders into a cave because remember, she's blind and is captured by Dwemer. They know the Velothi people are looking for NW so build a fake version of her and stick it back on the surface. The Dwemer try to re-cesarean VI out and fail, go to fetch an automaton to try. VI tells his mom to be calm because she isn't right now(and can you blame her?) NW falls asleep, the Dwemer retry the operation, succeed, NW dies. VI is put in a jar to be studied, tries to teach the Dwemer about love. They don't get it so they stick him in the fake NW(FNW) on the surface a-la a weird trojan horse.

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Sermon 4: FNW resumes the search for Indoril lands, meets more spirits who teach VI. VI gets in an arguement with one and denounces the concept of coincidence in the Velothi lands forevermore. An Old Bone of the Earth(whatever that is) posits a riddle to VI, folds in on itself and VI drinks it when he solves it, making him a ruling king of the world(whatever that means). Another spirit shows up some stuff happens and it pulls out the Astrolabe of the Universe, breaks it in half and gives it to VI. VI realizes from this he's in for some shit.

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Sermon 5: FNW starts to break down because remember, she's basically a machine. 80 days later is discovered by a merchant caravan. The warrior among them, Nerevar(N.) wants to bring her to ALM in Veloth to be studied because she's a Dwemer construct and they're about to go to war with the Dwemer and need every advantage they can get. The caravan captain disagrees and wants to sell her off in Noormoc to get paid and laid. N. offers to buy her instead, kills him when VI speaks to him and N. takes over the caravan and they head to Veloth.

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***Sermon 6: Lessons from VI to N. Mephala and Azura are a thing, Boethiah is a side piece? Lions don't exist in Veloth yet, but they're gonna eat the sun one day(possible allusion to ESO'S Daggerfall Covenant? Unlikely, but possible?) Go with what you understand, if it confuses you it's bad. there's 3,333 days until the end of days and there were other Nerevars.

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Sermon 7: There's a duke of Scamps named Kh-Utta who was summoned by Mehrunes Dagon. Offers 7 legions, is told by a domo(whatever that is) that they can't defeat Nerevar. Kh-Utta and the domo curse N., and he had words of power GHARTOK PADHOME written on his palms by VI. Twice.

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Sermon 8: N. and VI(via FNW) arrive in Veloth, meet with ALM and advisors. N. gives FNW over to ALM, VI hatches, merges with FNW. ALM, SI and VI make N. their champion.

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Sermon 9: There's a war with Nords. 5 warlords are slain or defeated.

Hoaga(aka Fenja) ate dirt. Literally. Used it in a type of necromancy. Frontline's getting killed, Hoaga's horfing down dirt in the backline, spitting it into corpses to make them rise again. Somehow.

Chemua ate a guy, Khizumet-e and could create acid rain. Destroyed 6 villages before being slain by VI and N.

Bhag had a lot of men at his disposal, was argued or debated to death by VI.

Barfok might have been a harpy, she could sing victories into existence, VI stuck his dick in her mouth to make her shut up. I wish I was kidding. Thus started VI's pattern of sexually assaulting people, be it actually or heavily implied. (See later, Muatra IYKYN, and if not, you'll learn.)

Ysmir. Strong silent type but when he spoke, mountains shattered. Possible use of the Thu'um. Some anime-ass BS goes down between him and N. Battle concludes with essentially ringing an ebony bell but with Ymir's head as the clapper.

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*** Sermon 10: More lessons of VI to N. Gives us the hard-ass line "The sword is an impatient signature. Write no contracts on the dead". Introduces concept of SITHISIT as a strife allegory?

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*** Sermon 11: More advice from VI to N. Alludes to the Sharmat (Dagoth Ur?). ALM has the stars, SI the sea and VI has the middle air. this sermon gives us the line "Embrace the art of the people and marry it and by that I mean secretly have it murdered" Possible foreshadowing of Nerevar's later death?

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Sermon 12: N. thinks about VI's teachings. ALM and SI get freaky, VI watches for a bit and loses interest, wanders to an ashland, gets really big(giant form) and meets Molag Bal(MB). MB has VI's feet cut off and VI essentially hits him with "damn, at least buy me a drink first". They get married, VI loses his head(literally). MB asks for proof of VI's love, VI recites a poem.(Actually 2 but only 1 is known). They proceed to have thousands of children, the mightiest named GULGA MOR JIL HYAET AE HOOM.

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***Sermon 13: Introduces the Four Corners of The House Of Troubles.

(Molag)BAL, (Mehrunes)DAGON, MALAC(ath), and SHEOG(orath)

The Triune House: ALMSIVI, VI will outlive ALM and SI and judge future Nerevars?

At the center of it all is Veloth, the Sharmat and Nerevar himself. Maybe. I couldn't make heads or tails of this one.

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Sermon 14: Headless VI and MB go at it for over 80 days(ouch), MB gave VI his feet back at some point but filled them with daedra blood.

Kh-Utta from sermon 7 rolls up to the dual wedding and horrid honeymoon with his 7 legions, VI and MB's children fight them off. Now scamps suck because of this war.

VI's head rolls up to find his body in good condition despite being used by MB for 80+ days(or not? It's unclear) bites new words onto MB's "spear" and creates a race of monsters called Biters(likely Vampires. Possibly kicks off MB's role as father of Vampires)

Vi then bites off MB's dick, makes a spear of it, names it Muatra, casts MB and the biters into the earth.(Somehow this isn't even the messiest divorce I've ever read about)

Uses his new spear to kill everyone at the wedding including his and his now-ex's thousands of children save for 9. (technically 8 as VI is somehow one of his own children)

Surviving children are called Moon Axle, Treasure Wood Sword, Horde Mountain, The Pocket Cabal, The Ruddy Man, City-Face, Lie Rock and the mightiest, GULGA MOR JIL HYAET AE HOOM. (with names like that maybe we should be grateful the worst we have are ones like Tragedeigh-Lynn-McWhateverthehell)

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*** Sermon 15: More advice from VI to N.

VI acknowledges that N. will kill him one day. Warns him of the Sharmat. VI will Permit N. to kill the Sharmat but only when the time is right to do so.

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Sermon 16: VI gets a haircut to make room for the fire. N. has trouble focusing and remembering all of VI's advice, VI tells him to reach heaven through violence, so N. grabs an axe and goes to one of the moons and kills a bunch of people.

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Sermon 17: Magnus kicks N. out of the Library of the Sun for his whole reach heaven through violence thing, Vi finds him in a field and they walk east across the sea to Akavir to learn more martial styles. They go north, nothing happens so they go west and train with Redguard sword-saints(in Yokuda?) VI wifes up a king, they birth monsters that destroy the west. VI and N. don't go south. They return to Red Mountain. The Sharmat is there, but VI says it's not the time to deal with him. VI and N. fight eachother.

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Sermon 18: Is straight up said to be untrue at the end.

Pre Battle of Red Mountain, VI tells ALM he's gonna hunt down the last of his and Molag Bal's children before going after Kagrenac.

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*** Sermon 19: VI dips into the void to prepare for his hunt. Finds ancestor moths in there?

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Sermon 20: The fight against Moon Axle, who is immune to spears(or straight lines, really).

Vivec weakens Moon Axle with a curved sword, finishes the job by I kid you not: turning into a giant, picking up a canyon, eating a handful of nix-hounds, spitting their souls into the canyon and having them kind of splatter onto Moon Axle before stabbing him with Muatra. As you do, I guess?!

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*** Sermon 21: Yeah, I have no idea. Wheels and towers.

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Sermon 22: VI looks for Treasure Wood Sword. ALM tells VI of an enchantress of House Mora that she's fond of, VI begrudgingly goes. Talks with a skeleton with a blinged-out lower jaw, marries a bunch of Morag Tong heads, they have 100 sons (speculation: with WAY too many arms and hands) and they go on a killing spree and I guess they killed Treasure Wood Sword?

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*** Sermon 23: Swords are important. That's all I got.

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Sermon 24: Horde Mountain. Three lower houses trap Horde Mountain in a net, Vivec rolls up, makes the house heads marry and makes them the first Buoyant Armigers. Stabs Horde Mountain with Muatra, creates a new city from it's bones. Vivec. (Yeah, he named the city after himself) ALM and SI bless the city.

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*** Sermon 25: Vivec is his city and his city is him. I guess.

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Sermon 26: The Pocket Cabal. VI disguises himself as a traveler, Muatra as a dwarf. The Pocket Cabal makes Muatra sick, he explodes, driving nearby slaves mad. A wizard gets pissed about this, mocks VI, VI kills him, drives The Pocket Cabal out of hiding, traps it under a dome and leaves SI in charge of it.

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*** Sermon 27: Words are important. Yeah.

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Sermon 28: The Ruddy Man. Possibly a cursed shell, a whole-ass dreugh in ESO. Any who wear him go mad killing. VI kills the Ruddy Man, gives his shell to the dreugh who got ahold of the netchiman's wife back in Sermon 1 (remember her?) The dreugh say they'll keep the shell safe and away from the surface world. That was a lie. VI reclaims the shell after the next wearer destroys 3 villages, entrusts it to trusted sages.

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*** Sermon 29: A whole lotta numbers, divined from stuff done to the Ruddy Man's shell.

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Sermon 30: City-Face. VI can't find him because he doesn't really exist until he does? VI kills a guy for asking too many questions, N. calls him out on it, Vi say nobody knows me and fuckall is done about the fact VI just murdered a guy. Things called Grabbers get ahold of City-Face, try to use him to build a replacement Vivec City, VI kills City-Face.

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Sermon 31: Nerevar is married to ALM, VI takes a break from hunting his kids to hunt nuisance monsters in the wilds, disappears for a minute to do so. N. misses VI, ALM tells him what's up.

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*** Sermon 32: Allusions to the Chimer becoming the Dunmer?

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Sermon 33: Lie Rock. Lives among the stars. VI sends N. to kill it, Lie Rock decides to crash into his dad and his city to destroy them, is caught in midair by VI, stabbed with Muatra.

Lie Rock's still there. It's known as the moonlet/ Baar dau and Vivec keeps it hanging in the air so if his people quit loving and worshipping him, he'll kill them all by dropping it.

------- Sermon 34: The mighty mouthful, GULGA MOR JIL HYAET AE HOOM. VI summons N. to help him fight and GULGA ect ect goes down without a fight after a talk with VI. Rather disappointing. Bones become the City of The Dead anon Narsis (Necrom?)

VI and N. talk and N. realizes *He's* now the mightiest of VI's children. (Given his sibling's fates, he's -totally safe-/sarcasm)

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*** Sermon 35: Love. If it's what he tried to tell the Dwemer back in Sermon 3, no wonder they threw him out.

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Sermon 36: Battle of Red Mountain is in full swing. Key Dwemer are King Dumac and Kagrenac and they've got an ally! Ysmir from sermon 9!

Nerevar trades in his old axe for the Ethos Knife, kills King Dumac with it.

Dwemer attack Mournhold, are met by Almalexia and defeated. Sotha Sil sets loose an army of machanical dreugh he's been working on under the sea and they drag a bunch of Dwemer stuff into the sea.

Red Mountain erupts, Nerevar seeks the Sharmat, Kagrenac unleashes the Numidium, and it's defeated by Almalexia, Sotha Sil and Vivec, and ALMSIVI reel in the ash and eruption from Red Mountain and eat it, thus creating the Dunmeri people*.

*or so that's how it allegedly happened.

[krahduzun]

So was anyone going to tell me Vivec stuck his dick in a warlord's mouth to get her to stop singing or did I HAVE to read that while writing a summary of the 36 lessons?

[krahduzun]

So I was messing with outfits again, got off track, and long story short, my sorc Haldrion is Messmer the Impaler until the witchmother event is over

[krahduzun]

It's almost Halloween so I decided to throw some gold at costumes for a few characters this year.

Zanaam-ri is an assassin

Gedryn's Dagoth Ur

And my Stam arcanist, Marcel is Joker from Persona 5 (with bonus Ember as Morgana)

[krahduzun]

Ended up on a brief Elden Ring kick after seeing crumblingfaggotazula's post with sliders to make a really beastman-looking char and ended up redoing my Faith/arcane char, Emmet, who is normally this weird deer/wolf hybrid... thing.

Before

After

He's finally the beastie he was originally supposed to be lol.

[krahduzun]

Ended up on a new Skyrim kick and ended up making my Nererevarine, Falvas.

His Morrowind pic

I reckon he spread rumors of his expedition and disappearance in Akavir in order to live a quiet life, retiring to Skyrim.

A retirement that ends up interrupted by the Civil War and return of the dragons.

He tries to take a "not my circus, not my monkeys" approach to it all at first, but ends up involved when guilt gnaws at him hard enough that getting involved's the right thing to do.

[krahduzun]

Been playing Elden Ring w some friends, running ahead when we're not together to get graces/kill bosses for closer graces and forgot killing Maliketh locks you out of the first instance of Leyndell(ie where we were headed next time we were on). So uh...

Ended up beelining through Godfrey-Elden Beast to get to ng5 so I could help them with Leyndell.

First time I haven't gotten a specific ending.

[krahduzun]

Killed by the protagonist. Aye, sounds about right.

Even if not the -actual- protag, someone who thinks they're it.

hey tes fans i made a uquiz that, like the scrolls themselves, will determine your untimely end with pinpoint accuracy. enjoy

[krahduzun]

was going to say something about how i hc my demiprinces as being the interplanar equivalent of mules/hinnies, where a daedra parent and a mortal parent can successfully reproduce but the resulting hybrid offspring will be infertile, but then i thought of the funniest possible in-universe explanation and it's just a visual gag that tops anything else i could actually write:

[krahduzun]

if you blast death hounds with transgender beam they bark. ok.

[krahduzun]

Overall, how simplified every game seems to get since Morrowind (not entirely a bad thing!)

I can understand making things easier to make the games more accessible to newer audiences(and I won't lie, I'm honestly for it. Couple friends of mine got into the series via Skyrim) but progression felt more earned in previous titles, especially Morrowind's guild quests.

At their cores every game is a series of Go From Point A to B to Progress. Some with more steps, some with less but in Morrowind, if you did ABC quests but weren't XYZ level in Insert Skill Here, you had to train up or go buy lessons.

Hell if you actually -used- your training, but now you were at least worthy of your title, or at least potentially had the skill to back it up.

Skyrim, you're arch-mage now. You cast flames once.

Is there a feature of any Elder Scrolls game you dislike? Which ones, and why?

[krahduzun]

Honestly ESO’s housing system could be a game by itself.

[krahduzun]

Post your Skyrim character save list.

[krahduzun]

A day late, but I figured I'd post my characters' outfits I did for a guild Halloween event.

Zan was a wizard

And Gedryn was White Mask Varré(Elden Ring)

[krahduzun]

Got bored, translated the daedric writing on the failed incarnate banners from the lux vendor

Tapestry of a Failed Incarnate, The Fool:

THE FOOL HEARS ONLY HIS OWN POOR ADVICE

Tapestry of a Failed Incarnate, The Warseeker:

TO SEEK ONLY WAR IS TO FIND ONLY DEATH

Tapestry of a Failed Incarnate, The Brute:

THERE IS NO NOBILITY IN PHYSICAL STRENGTH

[krahduzun]

Sotha Sil

Name the first Elder Scrolls character that you can think of.

[krahduzun]

Pictured: A dreugh smiling at you.