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i just really want him to rail me

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posting König at 3:25am

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könig’s texts are probably so dry... like literal caveman speak. you send him pictures of random things that happen during your day while he’s deployed just to keep him updated and get no more than 5 words in response. and sometimes it has nothing to do with the point of the picture. sending him a cute cat you see on a walk and he’s like “That location looks unfamiliar.” or showing him your new shirt and being met with “Take it off.” not to mention the way his adhd will have him leaving your texts on read for hours before he actually replies because he types a response and forgets to send it.

he’s so annoying.. at some point you start to think he doesn’t appreciate the mini day in the lifes you send him and as hard as it is, you try to go a full day without doing it… just for him to call you panicking before evening hits thinking you’re dead, urging you never to do that again. you tell him he needs to step his texting game up then… (he won’t)

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cuh…

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so normal about him, if you even care

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how’d y’all get our text messages 🫣

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i just know könig is a munch ughhhh i need him so bad… and not even in that way (because we all know he eats pussy likes he’s starving) but also just in general. given his height and activity level, he’d need a lot more food than the average person. like by far. just to maintain his physique. he scarfs down every meal like it’s his last, which is why restaurant dining with him is always hardly romantic. he’s moaning and groaning into the food and it’s so embarrassing but at least the waitress doesn’t have to ask how the food is, they can tell by looking at him :/ you watch him finish burgers the size of your head in 4 bites. he’s constantly finishing your food for you no matter how much is left. you’re convinced that 99% of the military fund is being used to feed him specifically.

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guys???

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has this been done yet? ok

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why’d he say it like that 😭 TROPHY SYSTEM DESTROYED 👹👹👹

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good morning to him and him only

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pookie