komaedailoveyou

[komaedailoveyou]

Florist!Nagito x Reader — Like a flower craves for the light of the sun

#. — an unfinished fanfic so far, more chapters tba in the future!

#. contents! — f!reader , slight komahina, slight chiakixreader, angst with a happy ending, alternate universe, no deaths or violence, depictions of BPD, smut, but, a LOT further into the fic, slowburn, nagito is a florist, reader is socially inept.

#. word count! — 4k .

#. > . . . <

You looked down to your phone after you’d finally managed to do the finishing touches to your dresses, Peko had sent you a text, apparently, you might have a new neighbour, the news hadn’t really been all that exciting to you, people come and go from this place, it wasn’t some big deal that you needed to go and throw a party over, but, now that you’d been aware of the fact that someone had, now you felt somewhat obliged to do something for them.

You weren’t even sure what you could do, you had no idea who this mysterious person was. You couldn’t just show up and throw them some clothes, or anything stupid like that.

You put your phone down, standing up from your desk, you didn’t have the time to be thinking about stupid things like personal connections, they did no good to you in the long term, anyway.

You grabbed one of your variously sized mannequins and shuffled the outfit onto it. You’d thought you’d done a good job, like always. You wouldn’t have put the thing down if it hadn’t perfectly fit the vision which was in your head, you just wouldn’t be able to settle with it.

You picked up your camera, and shot some photos of it, these would be sent off to your commissioner, just to make sure all of the boxes were ticked, which, you knew they were already, but, hey, their creative intentions may not have aligned with yours, you did have a very particular designers’ eye.

After that was done, you could finally rest. This sure had been stressful, but it was worth it, to see the dress now Infront of you, if this was going to be what you were stuck with for the rest of your life, then you at least wanted to be good at it, as taxing as it could be sometimes.

You weren’t sure what you could actually do to rest, you weren’t feeling tired in the slightest, and sleeping didn’t come easy to you in the first place, so you couldn’t have taken a nap, you surely didn’t want to do anything else related to your work, and you weren’t feeling hungry, sometimes, your mind could be quite stubborn.

You chewed at your lip, trying to think up something to do, and you figured, maybe some fresh air could do at least a little something to brighten your spirit after such a hectic day beforehand.

You grabbed a fluffy coat from a hanger, and draped yourself in it, there was a light breeze from the sound of it, and you’d rather not be cold.

You slipped yourself into your shoes and opened the door to your apartment, and stepped out, locking the door behind you, walking down the dull corridor, you’d been so rushed yesterday you’d somehow forgotten that the elevator had broken, so, you were momentarily surprised;

You walked down the stairs, leaving the building and stepping outside, and you walked down the mainly empty street. It made sense, most adults were out working right now, this was the only thing your uncertain job was good for, you didn’t have to abide by the normal structure of the time that most people your age did, it so it meant you had a lesser chance of running into anybody, again.

You were still embarrassed over the fact you somehow managed to bump into somebody the other day, like a complete klutz. You weren’t even that clumsy in general, so, that made you look even stupider in your own mind, so now you were being extra careful to make sure of your surroundings before you walked into them.

You were going to go to one of your favourite places in town, which was weirdly enough, a milkshake shop. You knew one of the girls who worked there, you had been friends during your college years, you didn’t keep in touch all that much now, but it was nice seeing her around sometimes, it was good you had someone you at least knew close by, in the case of an emergency happening.

You entered the shop, it smelt like sweetness, like always. You hadn’t expected anything different, there was some upbeat song playing in the background as you made your way to the counter, smiling softly at Marika, your friend, or, the person you still considered a friend but you weren’t actually sure if she considered you as one back or not person. You waved to her before getting closer to her.

“ Y/N ! Would you like the same thing you normally have? “ She asked you, still seeming as happy as ever, she looked like the perfect person to be working such a job, a statement which could definitely not be used on you. Her blue hair bounced slightly as she spoke, she never fully remained still, a part of her was always moving, like usual.

“ I didn’t think you’d remember it...but, yes, please. “ you replied, it wasn’t as if you were some kind of regular, who frequented this place every week, it had been over a month since you’d came, so it was very surprising for you to hear that from her.

“ Of course I’d remember, I’d feel terrible if I didn’t! “She exclaimed, almost like she was offended at you for even implying it, and you let out a soft chuckle in response.

You paid, waiting for her to be finished, before going to sit down in one of the booths, even if you had been friends for such a long time, it didn’t help with your natural ability to make almost any conversation awkward. You felt a little guilty over it, you had presumed when you became an adult it would just magically go away, go to some other helpless teen, but that never did happen, you were just cursed to be a mess for your whole life.

You took a sip from the spiral patterned straw, you had quite a sweet tooth, which probably wasn’t something that would be assumed from someone’s first glance at you, so milkshakes were one of your favourite drinks to have, you could even say you liked them more than any hot drinks, because you’d accidentally burnt your tongue one too many times to drink them unless it was outside of keeping you awake for work.

As you drank, tuning out the…somewhat bad song playing, you thought, you didn’t normally have the time to sit and think, always being bothered by something or another, but right now, you felt pretty content, even if you also felt a little childish at the same time.

It was back in your first year of your courses, you were sat on your own table, the class was only made up of about nine people, there were two tables with two people on, and one with five, but you – just sat on your own. You liked it that way, it meant that you could just settle down and focus on actually doing the work instead of having to converse with people.

You had your headphones in, and were writing down the answers to a test on a sheet, it was a theory lesson, so this was all you’d be doing for two hours, you were a quick writer, that came at a cost, though. More often than not, whatever you wrote was completely illegible, and nobody other than you was able to read it, but you couldn’t just slow it down, you’d always been like that. It was natural to you.

For the whole lesson, you stayed silent unless you were asked a question by your teacher, and that was the way it always was.

You were finally dismissed from the class, stretching your arms out, and getting up from your seat, You left the room, getting ready to finally go home after the long day, six whole periods of class, what torture. You supposed it was better than sitting and home and just rotting in your room though, as much as you enjoyed that, you did sometimes wish there was more excitement in your life, just a little bit.

You were minding your own business, when you felt a force send you a few steps backward. Your eyes widened in shock, not being used to this happening, and you looked down cautiously, to find a girl scrambling to get herself away from you.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, I have somewhere to be and just wasn’t looking where I was going! I didn’t mean to run into you! “She bowed her head so quickly you were worried the girl might injure herself again, you stepped away from her, wanting a bit more personal space, and you smiled. Not many people talked to you, because you never talked to them, so, this was nice.

“It’s all good, don’t worry. “ You replied to her, trying your best to provide any comfort that you could, you weren’t really versed with how to do such a thing in the first place.

She looked up at you, she was pretty small, and you were wearing shoes with heels on them. Fuck, maybe you were actually the same height, who knows.

“I’ll just go grab my stuff from the art room, and, I’ll be right back, let me…uh…. let me….Treat you to something, as an apology! “

She had run off into the building before you were even given an option in the matter, so that meant you’d be going somewhere…. with someone your age, that was pretty big for someone like you.

You stood outside, bag in hand, admiring the wind as it blew your hair, and the clouds as they parted for the sun in the sky, and for the first time in a while, you smiled earnestly.

As seconds slipped past you, without thinking, you waited.

After a short reminiscence of the past, you had finished drinking, you threw your cup into a recycling bin, and left, waving to Marika, and leaving. You had been outside for a little while, it was time for you to go back to your hermit ways, and go inside, to live out the amazing life of being an adult.

Not as if you could change it anyways, the world is a cruel woman.

You wandered back to your block of apartments, and started to walk up the stairs, normally, you wouldn’t run into anybody at this time, most people here were out working their office jobs, or wherever they worked, so you went at a brisk pace, you had to stop yourself from almost walking straight into the duo of people in front of you. You studied the backs of their heads, and their clothing styles, and you could swear, you recognised them, but, not enough to say that they lived there.

They were discussing something, you weren’t one to pry, so you zoned out their conversation, it was for the best for you to not have to many things to think about, or you’d overload, and die.

You couldn’t deny, your curiosity had been a little piqued by whoever these people were, so, you decided to actually start some form of conversation, oh how you’d grown.

“ Are you guys the new neighbours? “ You were straight to the point as you asked, not giving them any formalities, and they both looked back at you, internally you cursed, was that the wrong thing to do? Should you have just left them unbothered and unaware of your general existence?

The male spoke up, seeming like the more confident of the two. “ Ah, no. That would be our friend, He just left some of his belongings at mine, so, we’re bringing them to him. “ he replied to you, as you kept walking up the stairs as you spoke.

Just to be sure, you wanted to check this was the one Peko was referring to before, you asked

“ What floor? “

The guy replied again, and the girl just looked at you, kind of like a blank stare. This was incredibly awkward, and your conversational skills were not helping at all in that matter.

“ The fifth one. “ so, it was your neighbour, and now you had deduced he was a guy, so that was a step at least. You were glad that your mysterious new neighbour had such nice friends.

You were already past the fourth floor, so you were sure they would’ve figured it out by now, but you decided to fill In the silence with a short “ Me too. “ and then it was back to silence again.

You hoped you hadn’t came off as being unfriendly to them, but, it wasn’t like you to even speak up in the first place, so, it was actually incredibly friendly on your end.

You all walked down the corridor, and they weren’t stopping, so you just had to keep on walking behind them, slowing down your pace so that you wouldn’t end up being strangely close to them. What a thrilling day, talking to strangers and seeing a friend, you’d have to write about this one for the history books.

You passed 501, then 502, then 503, and even 504, and they still hadn’t stopped, until, they reached the apartment right next to yours.

Oh. You had a literal new neighbour.

You weren’t even sure of who actually lived there before, you’d never really gotten the chance to speak to them, or, even if you had, you didn’t take it.

As the man shifted around his pockets, looking for what you presumed would be a spare key, you walked past him and his other friend, to your apartment, 506, unlocking it and opening the door.

“…Say welcome, from me… Uh, Y/n. “ Your sentence hadn’t even made sense, but, it was already out there now, so, you couldn’t really do anything about it, that’s just how you were around strangers.

Instead of giving yourself a chance to embarrass yourself further, you stepped inside of your apartment and shut the door.

You decided, now was finally a good time to lay in bed and unwind after so much action.

Nagito could’ve sworn he remembers locking his door before he left for work, but, now it was…Unlocked? He panicked internally as he carefully slid the door open, peaking inside. God, his unluckiness really did follow him everywhere.

He didn’t see any vandalism, and the place wasn’t trashed, instead, his two friends were sat inside. He let out a sigh, a text warning would’ve been nice at least.

Nagito waved, their attention being drawn to him. “ Hello..I wasn’t expecting visitors today..” he addressed to them as he put his bag down, took his hair down, and hung his jacket up.

Chiaki looked down. “ Well, it wasn’t my idea to just barge in here…”

Nagitos gaze cast over to Hajime, who returned it.

“ Well, you left some stuff over, so, I thought it’d be a good idea to come and bring it to you, and Chiakis here because…..”

A pause

“ He didn’t want to come by himself…”

Nagito suddenly felt very bashful, had they really spent their time travelling over here just to give him his stuff..? They shouldn’t have gone through the effort, just for somebody like him, they should’ve just kept his belongings, they were more worthy of them than he was.

Nagito kept those sorts of thoughts inside, nodding, “ Thank you for bringing them here, I appreciate it! “ He smiled at them, he wasn’t sure what was in the air, but something felt wrong, like there was a strange tension, which was odd.

“ How was work? “ Hajime asked, looking a little jittery in his seat, as he watched Nagito picking up and setting some stuff around the apartment.

Nagito looked over his shoulder. “ It was good! I had a few customers, who were all lovely. “ He laughed to himself.

“ You still work alone? “ Chiaki asked, she had never really inquired much into his work, she just thought that was the kind of thing she may forget easily.

Hajime piped up, answering for him. “ Yep, he may just be the second least social person I know..” Chiaki playfully smacked his arm, it wasn’t her fault that she was too busy with more important things, such as socialising.

“ We’ll be off now so we don’t take up too much of your time, you must be a little tired. “ Hajime slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up, Chiaki following him, since she hadn’t been the one to decide to come here, she would just go when he did, her and Nagito didn’t hang out all that much 1 on 1 anyway.

“ Have a safe trip back! “ Nagito would’ve asked for them not to impose and scare him again, but, he didn’t see himself in a position to say such remarks to his friends, that was too much for somebody like him.

Chiaki and Hajime were at the door, Hajime opened it, stepping through, and Chiaki was about to step after him. “ Oh. The girl next door told us to say “ Welcome “ for her….” She avoided eye contact as she spoke, just looking at Nagitos strangely coloured shirt instead.

“…Y/N. “

She shut the door behind her, trailing down the hallway after her friend, not happy about having to walk down those long stairs again.

Nagito was now on his own, he had the TV switched on, and was sat eating as he watched it, he hadn’t actually seen anybody besides that grey-haired lady before, maybe she was the one living there who wanted to say hi to him, perhaps he should go and thank her if that was the case!

It was nearing 7PM though, he thought maybe it would be a little strange from him to randomly show up at a womans door.

He wasn’t sure though, he wasn’t really following the social norms to date, he also wasn’t sure which side the person lived on anyway, it would be even weirder if he showed up at someones apartment unprecedented, at 7PM.

Considering this person had gone out of their way to say such a kind thing to his friend, he was in their debt. He felt like he should make it up to them for having to acknowledge his existence.

Y/N , Y/N . . . He thought to himself, he thought that name was beautiful. To have someone with such a name even know of him . . . He had completely zoned out of whatever show he’d ended up putting on, and had stood up, he was pacing around his apartment to try and figure out what he would do.

If he kept thinking on this, and decided to try and find you at a later hour, that would become even weirder, so he knew he had to make his mind up now, even if that meant him going on impulse, something which he wouldn’t do often.

He grabbed the hibiscus flowers out from the vase which he’d propped them up in, straightened out his clothes and walked out of his door, looking to the left, and to the right of him. He had a fifty percent chance of being right, it was whether luck bended in his favour, or if it wanted to go horribly wrong.

He turned to his right, hoping that in turn, the decision would also end up being…right.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

Had broken you out of the immersion of trying to actually follow a cooking recipe, since, you weren’t the type to order a takeout all that often, even if you more often than not made something completely inedible.

You quickly went to check your phone, you had no texts, meaning that whoever was at your door, wasn’t Peko, the only person who would actually have a reason to come to you at this hour, so you were honestly confused. Maybe it was a relative? None of them knew where you lived though, so that couldn’t have been the case.

You stepped towards the door, slowly, what if it were the police, and you had committed some kind of crime and just forgotten about it, and now they were coming to put you in prison! Your mind immediately came up with the worst-case scenario, so that when that didn’t happen, you would feel immensely better about whoever actually was there.

When you’d finally opened the door up, your jaw practically hit the floor, you’d be damned. It must have been your lucky day. You tried to hide the initial shock on your face as you saw that heaven-sent angel right in front of you, you looked up at him, his hands were behind him, oh god, he could be a murderer or something!

“ Thank you for the welcome message…I, brought you these, as a gift for accepting me into your building. “ Nagito thrusted the flowers at you, and you weren’t exactly prepared on how to deal with such a situation, you slowly took the flowers from him, your fingers brushed over his temporarily, his hands were cold, or, a lot colder than yours at least. You held the flowers, cocking your head to the side.

“ I mean…I’m not really in control of who can and can’t move in but…uh…Thank you for the flowers!” You laughed, hiding your face behind them, you just couldn’t get over how nice he looked, and he just brought you flowers too? Were you dreaming? If so, you wished you were in a coma.

It seemed your voice had caused Nagito to realise who you were, he looked surprised now.

“ Wait- You’re- The girl! “

“ ….Yeah, it’s funny how fate spins things, isn’t it? “ You replied to him, the worlds rolling out more naturally than yours ever seemed to when you attempted to talk, you had only just met him, well, properly, but it didn’t feel like it to you, you weren’t sure what it meant, but, you actually wouldn’t mind his company.

“About last time—” You were speaking, and he was weirdly quick to cut you off, it wasn’t typical for Nagito to do, but he couldn’t stand the thought of someone else apologising to him, even if you were a stranger.

“ It’s alright! I was the one who wasn’t looking where I was going, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He spoke quickly, just wanting to get his thoughts out there. Something about the urgency in his eyes made you not want to argue with him.

If it hadn’t been so late, you would’ve invited him in for a drink or something, or, that’s what you think you would’ve done, you probably wouldn’t have even been able to ask, so you relied on the excuse of time.

What was up with you, though. People had never been your cup of tea, so you weren’t at all sure why this one was, something had came over you, maybe you had the flu.

“ I…should go and find somewhere to put these…” you decided you should probably leave now, before you say something stupid to him. “ Thank you…these are lovely. “ you looked down at the flowers in hand, then back to him.

Nagito was glad, you shouldn’t spend too much time around him, you weren’t deserving of such a punishment.

“ Well, have a good rest of the night, neighbour. “ He shot you a smile, before going back to 505.

You clutched the flowers happily, what an actual pleasant interaction, where, it hadn’t felt completely awkward the whole time, maybe you were getting better at this.

You put them inside of your bedroom, on top of your set of drawers, just standing and smiling at them, they had a note, which read,

“ TO: Y/N , FROM: NAGITO. “

So, Nagito was his name. It fit him, you thought, and you were going to think a little more, before you were interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

You looked down at it, to see that there was no caller ID, you declined the call, but the caller just kept on calling you back, so you decided to give it a listen, before blocking whoever it was.

“ Hello? Hello? Oh, you finally picked up Y/N! It’s me, You know, your sister? Now, don’t hang up please. I really wanted to talk to you about---”

Maybe today wasn’t all that lucky for you afterall.

[komaedailoveyou]

Florist!Nagito x reader , Like a flower craves for the light of the sun

#. — an unfinished fanfic so far, more chapters tba in the future!

#. contents! — f!reader , slight komahina, slight chiakixreader, angst with a happy ending, alternate universe, no deaths or violence, depictions of BPD, smut, but, a LOT further into the fic, slowburn, nagito is a florist, reader is socially inept.

#. word count! — 3.7k .

#. > . . .<

" Again, I'm terribly sorry for just-"

" Don't worry Peko...t's fine. "

You cut your assistant worker off as she started to apologise, you knew that it wasn't here fault that you hadn't been given the correct itinerary of fabrics needed, and you could have checked a little more thoroughly, being honest, but a part of you just wanted to get on with the work.

Peko was standing near your desk, where you were sat, a lamp next to you as you fiddled with your sewing machine, you had fabric draped over your furnishings, the floor, everywhere you can name it, because you knew you'd pick it all up, so the little mess was just convenient for the now. She wove a hand through one of her braids, twirling them around as she watched you work. " I can try to get you a later deadline, if that would be better? " she suggested to you, which you immediately shook your head to, the hum of the machine made her jump a little, as you hadn't warned her you were about to start, she was cute, you'd thought, you were lucky you'd been given such a nice assistant, even though you had insisted that you did not need, nor want one.

" Nah, I'll be fine Peko, seriously. " Your voice had quietened as you were now beginning to get focused, your hands carefully guiding the dress. " You should go home, I'm sure your boyfriend misses you. " You said with a hint of teasing in your tone.

Peko sighed, " You'll be staying up through morning, no? I'll stay to make sure you don't end up collapsing. " She replied seriously, she knew you wouldn't just decide to take a break on something so important to you, so, she had already planned to stay, she had called Fuyuhiko before this to let him know of your new arrangements, which, she had decided, but knew you wouldn't argue against them.

" Fine, Fine, but if you get bored, you can always leave. " You had wanted to thank Peko, but the words " Thank you " just didn't end up coming from your lips, you really were awkward at this, you weren't sure why you had even been given the ability to speak, since you couldn't even convey your thoughts properly. You hoped that she knew you were grateful, but, it was rare for her cover to slip too, although, maybe that's why the two of you got along so well.

Peko just nodded in reply, before wandering off into your kitchen, she knew you hadn't ate anything yet, and she didn't want you to end up dying of starvation, so she decided whilst you worked she was going to cook you something, so you would take at least a minimal break before sewing your fingers together. She rummaged around in your kitchen, and settled on making you linguini. You had quite a lot of pasta in, as in your words " It's quick and easy, why wouldn't I have so much of it? " It's not that she disagreed, she just wished you would eat more than just pasta, and the occasional snack.

She set a pan up on the stove, and turned the oven on, she looked back at you, you were completely focused on your work, yet, your eyes were clouded over with something that Peko couldn't quite figure out, maybe something good had happened to you today? She hoped so, you deserved more nice things than the mediocrity you normally received. She filled the pan with pasta, and sprinkled a bit of salt into it, She was making enough for the both of you, because she didn't want you to start nagging at her to eat as well, she knew you'd feel odd if she just sat and watched you do so.

She would often cook for you, and you never seemed to argue, she had came to her own conclusion that you weren't very well versed when it came to cooking, she would offer to teach you, but a part of her wasn't sure if the two of you were actually friends, or if you only let her do this because it was a work relationship, and if that were all. Peko had thought you disliked her at first, saying she really didn't need to help you, and things along those lines, she wasn't sure if just the thought of her existence was a bother to her, which, she hadn't minded, the opinions of others never really plagued her, she knew who she was, but, if she was going to work for you, a selfish part of her wanted for you to like her, even just a little bit.

She finished preparing the food, and she watched you a little longer, also leaving it time to cool down, and for her to get you forks to eat with, she knew you didn't like it when your food was too hurt, as you frequently burnt your tongue, it was quite unlucky, she thought, but she knew you didn't like to be told such things, so she'd keep them to herself.

When you'd gotten to a point where you turned off the machine to change where you were sewing, Peko coughed, walking over to your couch. " I made us a meal, do join me, please. "

You placed the dress down, before standing up from your desk, and you walked over to where Peko was, sitting down next to her, it was a little cosy, but you hadn't ever had people over, so you didn't think you needed a bigger one, so there you and your assistant were, sitting weirdly close to each other, as she handed you your plate. You begun to eat without a word, damn, Peko was still as good at cooking as ever, you were so lucky to have somebody so good at just...everything by your side, the you who was only just good at one thing in this life. You had been getting pretty hungry too, so you were lucky she had decided to cook, as you definitely weren't going to that night, or, well that morning. It was just gone 12, and you were pumped with so much adrenaline to do your work that you couldn't even spare a thought to think about sleeping.

You glanced over to her, she was eating her share too, and you couldn't help but notice she'd given you more than herself. She was always very kind, you'd thought to yourself, you weren't quite sure which god you had appeased to in your past life to be deserving of such a person.

She glanced back at you, with a soft smile.

" I appreciate you...cooking this for me, " you mumbled, looking at her face, but not directly making eye contact, that was too much for you. " and for staying up with me, you're a good assistant, Peko. " you continued to eat after you let a crack of honesty slip through, you weren't a very fast eater, because you felt sick too easily if you ate too much in a short period of time, so you just sat there listening to the lack of noise around you, after-all, everybody living around you was probably asleep by now, you were just weird.

You chuckled to yourself, and Peko tilted her head, not sure what you were reacting too, but she didn't ask.

" Of course, It is my job, Afterall. "

" I don't think your job contracts you to stay in my home all night and cook for me, does it? " You'd said that as a joke, before quickly realising that you could have sounded rude, so, you stumbled over your words. " but--! It can just be a verbal contract between us, then. "

Peko smiled at you, she knew you hadn't any ill intent the first time, but, she couldn't deny it was a little funny to watch you cover it up. " That sounds good to me. " she replied, her tone being more warm than motherly right now and your conversation came to a natural end, and the two of you sat and ate in silence now, a little closer together than before.

You finished, and waited until Peko's plate was empty, before you took it from her hands, wordlessly walking over to your sink, and placing them on the side next to it, before you began to fill it with water, you then moved to get the other kitchen utensils Peko had used , and put them near the plates too. You grabbed the washing up liquid, and squirted it inside of the water in the sink, and waited for it to create bubbles.

Peko was a little surprised at your sudden movement, and she followed quickly behind you. " I have all morning Peko, I can spare ten minutes or so to clean up the dishes. " You tried your best to give her a reason to let you do it, as she seemed adamant on doing tasks in your house, you were worried she thought of you as some child she had to babysit instead of an adult, well, that did explain why she was insistent on staying with you, it's not like you were strict and told her not to do anything, even if you tried, you weren't completely sure if she would listen to you.

" I made the mess, though. " She argued with you, she already had a cloth in hand, stupid Peko and her stupid shoes that always let her be one step ahead of you... You thought to yourself, you bit the inside of your cheek, and walked over to grab a towel. " Fine...I'll dry." was your reply to her, and as a response she start to wash the dishes, with you at her side, it was often the two of you would just be doing your household chores together instead of you actually being able to focus on your work, however, you were certain if not for Peko, you would live an extremely lonely life, so, even if this was all you managed to do, you weren't complaining about that fact.

She handed you the dishes after she'd washed them, and you carefully dried them off with your towel, before putting them back in the cupboard which they had came from originally, and with her cleaning skills, you were done relatively quickly, yet it felt like you hadn't worked in hours. Spending time with your assistant, sure could be fun.

You yawned a little, and Peko noted that soon she should make you some coffee, to help keep you awake, since it was your decision to be up, she couldn't change your mind, yet she could aid you at least. " Time to get back to work, " You returned back to your desk after the kitchen was all nice and clean now, Peko was emptying the remaining water from the sink. You were pretty sure you could finish at least a half of your work tonight, now that you were all invigorated.

" We've got a long morning ahead of us, feel free to go to sleep if you get tired, Peko. " you hummed, before you got started on the dress again, Peko nodded in response, although, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be going to sleep, she had stayed up many nights at your side already, never from you asking, it would always just be on her own decision.

and with that, you returned to completely, well almost, focused. Then, Peko remembered, she had completely forgot to ask what it was earlier that you were thinking about, it was too late now, she guessed she would never know.

It was around 7AM when you'd finally clocked it, you had only taken one other break the entire morning, which was to go to the bathroom, and that was only quick. It always shocked Peko how you could just sit and work for so many hours straight, she really admired that about you.

You had already turned the sewing machine off, as you could tell you were close to passing out, yet you hadn't managed to make it to your bed, instead, you were uncomfortably slumped over your desk. Peko sighed, walking over to you, and with ease, she managed to pick you up, she frequented the gym, so she was very strong, but, you were never awake to know that she would often carry you, she wasn't sure what type of reaction you'd end up having to her.

She carefully carried you over to your bedroom, and when she got there, she temporarily held you with old hand so she could pull the duvet up, and then she placed you down onto your mattress, then pulling the duvet back up, she was just making sure you wouldn't be too cold. You stirred a little in your sleep, but she knew you wouldn't wake up soon, as you'd only just gone to sleep.

She moved a stray strand of hair out of your face, and she moved to leave, walking to your bedroom door. " Sleep tight. " she whispered, before shutting it behind her. She had a key to where you lived, so, when left left through the living room, she locked the door behind her, she couldn't wait to finally go home, and rest herself, but it was worth it to stay up with you, even if you didn't say it, she knew that you needed somebody there with you.

She walked down the hallway, and up to the elevator, where she would normally leave from, yet, when she got there, there was a big " OUT OF ORDER " Sign on the front of it, which she looked at, quizzically, in the three years which she'd been coming over, the elevator had never even broken one time, this was strange.

Peko never normally saw anybody when she was leaving your apartment, so naturally, she jumped when she heard a voice coming from behind her. " Ah, you have to take the stairs, it broke yesterday. " she turned around, and saw a man, taller than her, with white hair, she had never seen him before, she was sure of it. She just nodded, and started to walk down the stairs next to the elevator, and she heard footsteps behind her, so, she presumed whoever that guy was also needed to come downstairs.

" It broke the day I moved her, I must be awfully unlucky, right? " He laughed to himself as he walked down a few steps behind her, well, he seemed friendly enough for Peko to reply, with.

" I guess this floor is full of unlucky souls, then " She said fondly, thinking about you.

" What are you talking about? " He asked her, confused, that's how Peko knew for sure he was new there, if he hadn't met the hermit herself. " Ah, it doesn't matter. ", was all she could reply, she knew you wouldn't be happy if she went around making friends for you.

It had been a while since Nagito had taken the train, normally, He'd just be driven where he wanted to go, but he didn't know how to drive himself, so he didn't really have a choice.

He walked to the station as fast as he could, it was colder in the mornings, so he didn't like to be out in them, so he'd rather be inside, his hair was blowing softly in the wind, he had to keep moving it, out of his face, it was times like these that made him consider cutting it off, however, he liked it just a bit too much to do that, and his friends told him, it was one of his " charm points " , he didn't see it, but, he guessed he thought his hair at least did look nice.

Whenever he needed to cross the road, the lights would turn from green to red, so he would have to stop and press one of the buttons on the traffic lights, he didn't mind waiting too much, since he knew he wasn't going to somehow miss the train, since he had made sure he would be early.

He was a little confused how quiet it was here at this time, back where he used to live, there would most definitely be traffic, but, that's the joy of small towns, he supposed, he was worried about something, though. He was worried he stood out, living there, as if he was too different, the stranger he'd ran into yesterday, she seemed to stare at him, and Nagito hadn't been sure what to make of it, did he look weird? Should he have not moved here to begin with, was it really that bad of an idea?

He didn't want to even be acknowledged when he was outside in public, so maybe he should make an effort to not stand out.

He laughed to himself about how pathetic he sounded, and cleared his head of those thoughts, he grabbed his earphones from his pocket, and plugged them into his phone, before deciding to play music the rest of the way, he would rather be listening to somebody else than be forced to listen to the voice inside of his head, Nagito heard it all the time, he deserved a break from it, he thought.

It was almost empty when he'd reached the train station, there were a few scattered around, but that was it, He looked up, and saw he had ten minutes to wait before it got here, at least he was lucky enough for it to not be rescheduled without warning, he would definitely be able to go and open his shop in time, that was good. He smiled to himself, he just listened to his tunes and waited until the train arrived, he sat in the third carriage, and he was on there for around twenty minutes, before hopping off.

Nagito hadn't actually been from the train station to his shop, but, he was certain that it wouldn't be too much of a difficult task for him to carry out, he would definitely be able to find his way.

Or, he thought so, until he ended up being fifteen minutes late as he'd made a wrong turn walking there.

He had sped up his pace as he had been walking, so, now he was a little out of breath, being a florist and all didn't require for him to really exercise too much, he just didn't see how it could help, unless the flowers all ended up becoming sentient and declared war against the human race, Nagito never ruled that possibility out, however, he would probably not be the person to fight them, he may even decide to join them, if that were the case.

He was thinking about that as he hastily unlocked the door to his shop, flicking the ceiling lamps on, and adjusting the room temperature as he walked inside, the smell of flowers hit his nose as he did, he was rather fond of it.

He flipped the sign on the front of the door, so that it read " Open" , and he tied his hair up into another ponytail, so that it didn't get in his face when he was working, he supposed when he did, he sort of looked like the typical guy to be working in a florist shop, he couldn't even remember what sparked his interests in flowers, maybe it was the garden which grandma had? Or maybe it was the garden at school where he would always sit alone at, he just knew that for all of his life, flowers had been there for him, and even though there were so many, he thought each and every one was a spectacle, he hoped that the rest of the world felt the same as him.

He wouldn't expect so many customers at an early time of the day, he just liked to be there, just in-case, you never know when a flower related emergency will happen, like somebody needs to desperately apologise to a lover, or a friend, or if flowers for a venue such as a wedding, or a funeral have been ruined last minute, and they're in need of a replacement, if Nagito couldn't even be there in times like that, he thought he would be a very lousy shop owner, he'd even go as far to say worthless.

He loved to research the meanings behind flowers, he had dedicated so much of his life to that craft, he had to feel like he as good enough at something, anything to feel like he was needed in this world, and so he read, and read, and read, until he had memorised as many flowers as he could, at least half of the thoughts he ever had would end up being anything floral. He felt as if that was a little strange sometimes, but, it wasn't that huge of a deal, not really.

He walked around his shop, re-arranging and taking apart displays of flowers, making sure his carefully crafted bouquets still looked as good as new was a major priority for him, he couldn't allow for anything to be less than perfect in there, or he'd have to close the shop down as a whole. He was adding to some peonys, when the phone rang, he rushed over, with a " Hello, How may I help you? "

His shift was beginning earlier than he had thought it would today, maybe, that was a good thing.

Nagito worked alone, which, he somewhat liked, it meant that he could display everything as he wanted to, and that he could open and close at times he chose, but, it made the whole aspect of working, a lot more stressful, everything was on him. He had to talk to every customer, convince them what to buy, he had to be expert, and, as much as he was awkward in the social aspect, he wanted to change that, if it were possible. Maybe he could start looking for somebody to work with him, but, he wasn't sure if anyone would even be interesting, it's not as if there aren't funner jobs out there, Nagito, just liked his little flower shop.

He'd have to think it over, f he wanted to start looking or not, that was a big decision, and it being up to him, honestly was stressing him out.

After a long day, it reached 5PM, meaning, he could start closing the shop down.

In the end, Nagito had decided to pick up some Hibiscus flowers, to put in his apartment.

[komaedailoveyou]

Florist!Nagito x Reader — Like a flower craves for the light of the sun.

#. — an unfinished fanfic so far, more chapters tba in the future!

#. contents! — f!reader , slight komahina, slight chiakixreader, angst with a happy ending, alternate universe, no deaths or violence, depictions of BPD, smut, but, a LOT further into the fic, slowburn, nagito is a florist, reader is socially inept.

#. word count! — 3.8k .

#. <

" Are you sure you're fine with this? I mean, you've never lived alone like this in years, Nagito. " Hajimes gaze flickered over to his friend who was currently sat in the front seat of his car, his hands perched in his lap, his grip on the wheel tightened, before he went back to focusing on the road, he wasn't the best at expressing it, however he was worried for his friend.

" Oh, Hajime! No need to worry over little old me... I've been meaning to get out of your hair for weeks now! " Nagito smiled softly, looking over at the now-focusing Hajime, he studied his face for a second, he wasn't sure if he looked angry or not, his eyes didn't look all too happy, but, then again, it wasn't his place to comment on it.

Chiaki, who was sat in the back of the car, behind Nagito, looked up from her switch which she had been playing on, she was more of a listener in their conversations, but she spoke up, her voice was quiet, and unenthusiastic, but the two knew she was unable to do more, and it wasn't her fault. " You're pretty far from your shop though...How will you get there from.." She leant forward between their gaps in seats, trying to read where the location on the satnav said, but she couldn't make it out. She hadn't worn her contacts today, and her vision wasn't the greatest from all the screen staring she did, especially at later hours when even the sun wasn't out to help them " your new apartment?"

Nagito shook his head, letting out a short chuckle. " You guys are worrying far too much about me! Trust me, I've looked at many places, and this one was the best one. I'll catch the train over to the flower shop, simple as that. " Nagito tried to ease the tension which was building up in the small vehicle.

" I wish you'd told me before...you know! A week ago! " Hajime commented, passive aggressiveness seeping into his words as he stopped at a traffic light, now looking to make eye contact with Nagito now. " If you're not one hundred percent completely sure, we can turn the car around, You can keep staying at my place, it's really not a big deal to me." Hajime and Chiaki both knew he meant more than not a big deal, he meant to say he would want Nagito to stay, Chiaki sighed to herself, Hajime really had to get better at this kind of thing.

" I'm serious about going, I have to be independent at some point, I promise, I'll still visit on the holidays, so you won't die of loneliness! " He spoke in a joking manor, not sensing the serious tone in Hajime's voice.

Without even a beat passing, Hajime replied " You better. " he took a breath. " You know it-"

" Focus on the road Hajime. " Chiaki looked up at the green light in-front of him, and the three of them remained silent until the engine of the car stopped, just Chiaki's fingers hitting her controls and the dumb pop song quietly playing on the radio.

They arrived outside of the block of the apartments, and they looked up at them, Nagito had a suitcase in hand with all the essentials he knew that he would need to live, the other two were empty handed as Chiaki left her console in the back of the car, hidden under a blanket, just in-case.

"...It's big. " Hajime commented

" Its big. " Nagito confirmed, repeating his words. He couldn't deny he was a little afraid of being all on his own, but another part of him was glad that he'd finally taken a step out into the rest of his life after so long, this felt like a new chapter, or at least a new paragraph, he didn't read all too much, not enough to link that metaphor to his situation. He took a deep breath. " I guess that means I'll have plenty of nice neighbours to look after me then, huh? No need to worry guys!" He hummed.

" I mean...I wasn't *that* worried..." Chiaki mumbled, she thought Nagito was a nice friend but she knew she could just text him whenever, plus, she didn't live with him, or see him constantly, so she wasn't exactly in distraught, she was more there as an emotional support for Hajime.

" Don't go depending on everybody else there, they might kick you out. " Hajime tried his best to joke, he...deep down knew he wouldn't complain if that were to happened, as horrible as that sounded. " Remember, I'm always just a call away, So is Chiaki. " The girl flashed a thumbs up as he brought her into it, probably just so that he didn't seem to desperate.

" Well! The building isn't going anywhere, no matter how much we look at it, so, I should probably go in now, thank you for-"

" We can walk you to your room! Just to make sure you don't get lost. " Hajime cut him off.

" That's so kind of you, As long as I wouldn't be inconveniencing you, then..." Hajime would've told him he was never an inconvenience, however, he knew that Nagito just wouldn't believe him, he tried his best to convince Nagito over the years, but, his words just weren't enough for him.

Chiaki reached her hand into the pocket of Hajime's jacket and pulled out his car keys, Hajime tensed up slightly, he hadn't expected to feel Chiaki so close to him, so when he did, it was just a little bit of a shock. " You can feel free....I'd rather wait in the car..." Chiaki unlocked it, and walked towards it with short steps.

" Bye Nagito, I'll remember to text. " She put up her hand and waved for a second, before ducking into the car, Nagito smiled and waved back, he hadn't the time to respond before the girl had already hidden inside of the car, she just wasn't good with goodbyes, although, Hajime was on the other side of the spectrum of not being good with goodbyes.

" Are you sure she actually even wanted to come? " Nagito laughed, turning back to Hajime.

" Of course she did! You're her friend as much as mine!" Hajime frowned a little at him, he knew how much Chiaki cared, even if it was a little less than him.

" alright, alright! " He took a step towards the main entrance of the apartments, looking back as the wheels of his suitcase clacked against the floor, taking Hajime out of his thoughts. " Let's get going, yeah? " he said, as Hajime walked forward uncertainly, this was really it. He wasn't dying or anything, but, it still felt like a bit of him was about to become a lot more unreachable than before, it was just a big change which he most certainly hadn't prepared for, he just kind of assumed Nagito wasn't going to move out at all, maybe he was more naïve than he had thought.

Nagito walked into the apartments, he had received the key two days ago, he would be on the fifth floor, in room 505, he dug his hand into his trousers, where the key was, and he played with it as he walked, making a jingling sound. Since he didn't plan on walking up all of those stairs with his suitcase, he decided he'd take the elevator. He'd just hope it wasn't broken.

He pressed the button on the side of it, and waited for it to come down to the ground floor, where he and Hajime stood in an awkward silence. He'd thought that Hajime was acting a little odd, but, he wasn't sure if commenting on such a thing would be in his place.

There was a DING! as the elevator doors opened, Nagito and Hajime were about to walk in, however, somebody walked out, they were very fast paces, as if they really had somewhere to be, They awkwardly squeezed between the two men, and made their way out, Nagito looked at them for a split second before turning, and stepping into the elevator, with Hajime at his side. He pressed the little "5" icon on the panel inside, and the elevator begun to move.

"....If you ever get bored of this place, my doors always open. " Hajime lowered his voice, he didn't want to seem like he was pressuring him.

" I appreciate it, you can visit whenever you'd like as well, although, my couch may not be as comfy. " Nagito replied, in almost the same tone, with a smile.

The elevator doors opened, and Nagito stepped out first, Hajime was slightly behind him, despite knowing he would be the fifth door along, Nagito still read every number on the front of the doors as he passed by them, or, maybe it was just he felt like he needed something to look at, so that his nerves didn't eat him alive. Hajime had gone back to being quiet as they both walked towards room 505.

Before he could even count the seconds, they were both stood in-front of it, Hajime wanted ever so badly to convince Nagito to just stay with him, but, he knew that Nagito had made up his mind, and there was nothing he could do in this situation which would change that, and he hated it.

Nagito put the key into the door, unlocking it, before turning to Hajime for a final time. " Thank you for walking me here, and, Thanks for letting me stay with you for so long, Now I wont be there to bother you anymore, so don't worry! " He smiled, like he was happy, like he felt relieved that he thought he was freeing Hajime of a weight, but Hajime felt the opposite.

" Whatever you say. I'll miss you. I can come and help you unpack if you'd like..?" He offered him, he must have sounded a little pathetic, but that was the least of his current problems.

Nagito shook his head. " Chiakis waiting for you, I don't want to be holding you up, besides, I'll be okay, please, don't fret over me. " Nagito asked, like it was a request, but Hajime knew he couldn't just free himself of the worry which he was feeling.

" Alright...um, goodbye, Nagito. " Hajime said, swallowing the lump forming in his throat, he was not about to cry right now. He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Nagito, caging his arms in, so Nagito couldn't even return the hug to him, he just wanted to hold him before he left.

After far too long of a hug time, Hajime let go, and after a few more pleasantries, he started to walk back to the elevator. He looked back over his shoulder, and Nagito was just closing the door after stepping inside.

He was right, he really ought to get back to the car, and go back home.

Nagito looked around his brand new apartment. It was pretty nice, he thought. The living room and kitchen were combined together, but the overall space for them was pretty big, there was a table in the back third, and a sofa in the more forward third, with a TV facing it, in the middle, there was a door to the bathroom, where there was shower attached over a bath tub, and a door to a bedroom, which had one bed, a set of drawers, and a wardrobe. The kitchen had two main countertops, an oven, a microwave, a dishwasher, and also a washing machine, even thought that wasn't a kitchen appliance, it still fit in there.

Nagito put his suitcase down, and went to sit on the couch, he sank down a little bit on it, but, he couldn't have expected the best furnishings in the world, he was just happy with what he got. He had drawn in a long breath, and looked around the room, it wasn't spacious, yet, it didn't feel homely. It just felt like a room. He knew over time that would change, as he got used to it, as he made his own special touches to it, but, it made him feel rather strange. He had wanted to be on his own, to feel like he was the one finally in control of his own life, to not be constantly calling for somebody whenever something went wrong .... he wanted that chance, to not be worthless, just for once in his life. Yet, all he found now, was that he was missing the homeliness of Hajime's house, the warmth, the smell of cinnamon, the way the house hugged him whenever he walked into it. He had taken all of that for granted, god he was just awful wasn't he?

He tied his hair up into a ponytail, before standing up, and clapping his hands together lightly. He needed to start unpacking, then maybe he would feel better, or at least he would be too preoccupied to be busy being a stain.

He dropped to the floor, unzipping his suitcase, and he started to take out his belongings. This wouldn't take that long, as he didn't have much stuff, for Nagito, it didn't take much for him to live, he was a very simple guy. First, he went to the bedroom, as that's where most of his stuff would be going. He first focused on hanging hid clothes up in his wardrobe, as that would take a bit of time, he had quite a few variants of flower shirts, which were a little ugly, but, Nagito saw the charm in them, Ugly didn't mean bad, it just meant unconventional. Nothing was really ugly, Nagito thought. Nagito slept shirtless, but he put his pyjama pants underneath his pillowcase, so he could put them on later. Then he set a hairbrush, some perfume, and an alarm clock on the desk next to his bed, that, and a little plush cat which Chiaki had gifted him when Hajime wasn't looking, just before she'd left. He made sure to set his alarm to 6:30AM, so he'd have enough time to wake up, get ready, eat, and then head out for work with enough time for him to a little lenient if anything were ever to come up.

Inside of the drawers, he put in his socks, his boxers, and any other miscellaneous clothing items which didn't fit inside of his wardrobe, and before he knew it, he was finished with a whole room! Next he went to the kitchen area ... he didn't have much to put there, besides some detergent, and some soap, as well as oven-gloves, a few pans, and two trays, three plates, as he didn't think he'd make anymore friends than the two he already had, and some cutlery. He hadn't brought any food with him, however, he planned to go out and buy some food after he was finished with setting up his apartment. What he did bring, was a vase! He was going to think overnight on what flowers he should bring for this new living space. Hajime had a pollen allergy, so he wasn't able to have any flowers there, so he was overjoyed that now he could display some wherever he pleased. He placed it in the centre of the table.

Next, he went to the bathroom, where he put down some more soap, his hair and body washes, his towels, his toothbrush and toothpaste, and a bottle of bleach, as well as some more perfume.

His suitcase was practically empty at that point, and around an hour had passed, Nagito wasn't the type of person who would rush around if he really didn't need to. He stretched his arms up above his head, before dropping them back down. He was aware he had barely gotten inside, but, he was feeling rather peckish now, He was restless, so, he decided that now he would go out and shop for food to stock up his cupboards, then get adjusted to his new living area later on! Truth be told, now that he had already unpacked, he was a little bored. He just didn't have anything to do there, it was just a new home, the overall excitement dies off pretty quickly.

Nagito grabbed a few shopping bags, and made sure he looked good enough to be seen by members of the public, before taking his first step out of his new apartment. He walked back down the hallway, and to the elevator, looking at it, and sighing, of course this had happened.

In the slim time that he was able to get into his room, and sort things out, the elevator had miraculously broken, which meant, from now on, he would have to take the stairs.

The day had been going pretty well for you, up until your assistant, Peko, had called you to tell you that you didn't have enough material for the dresses which would need to be finished in two days, you'd thought you were just about done with them, just needed to do the finishing touches, but no, life can never be that simple for you, can it? You have this motto, totally never heard before, that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, not just in the fashion world, but just in general in your life, you always seemed to have the worst luck imaginable in every given circumstance, you tried your best to stay positive about it, but god, sometimes it was difficult.

Luckily, in the area which you lived, there was a shop where all of the materials you needed were sold, unless they were hyper-expensive, then you'd have to order them online, as you don't live in a bourgeoisie area, hell, you'd hate it if you did.

You weren't some world famous fashion designer, you just made clothes, and the clothes sold, you didn't have some massively big name, but you made enough money to keep on pursuing your passion, even if you weren't rich enough to quit and move away to some honeypot site. Like you'd want to do that anyway, even if you weren't the best, you generally enjoyed creating fashion, and getting your own art there, it filled you with a joy you hadn't found in many things, if it was your calling, that one thing for you, you weren't completely certain of, as of yet, you didn't feel like you had a thing, just like, you were pretty good at it.

You were wearing a maxi skirt and a blouse out to go to the shops, you were just about to get into your lounging clothes until the call, but now you were walking down the street, walking quickly, but making sure you didn't bump into anybody. You didn't know many of the locals well, but it were better to not start off on the wrong foot, if you had to start off on any. You were quite a shut-in, you just stayed in and created, other than that, you didn't really have a reason to leave, unless you had to meet with somebody, which didn't happen all that much.

You were in and out of the shop in a matter of minutes, you knew where everything in there was, so you could just grab your materials, pay for them, and get out, you didn't like to be in stores for too long, this was mainly because they made you feel awfully claustrophobic, and you really weren't a fan of that, even on less busy days, it made you feel slightly iffy.

Upon exiting, you looked up, and saw that the stars were out, greeting you, it was already pretty late, you would most likely have to pull an all nighter, after realising this, you sighed. Fashion could be cruel sometimes, more often than not.

If you had more time, you would've happily cast your gaze up into the beauty of the moon for a bit longer, but unfortunately you were pulled away from her grasp.

You started to walk away from the shop, back to where you lived, meandering through the people who passed you by, whenever you did happen to pass one, you always got caught up, wondering what in their own life led up to this very moment, it made you grateful for being able to live, weirdly enough.

You got caught up in the idea of getting caught up, because when sewing, you never had the time to think, as you had to focus fully on the task at hand, so when you were outside, you were more prone to getting pulled into the world of your marvellous brain. Or, that's what your mother called it, you'd definitely not say that.

In-fact, you were so caught up, you hadn't even realised that you'd walked straight into somebody. You cursed to yourself, god, you were so unlucky, of course this would have to happen to you. You looked down at the floor for a second, a tad embarrassed, before looking up to see who you'd collided with, you had already stepped back away from them upon the sudden contact, but you couldn't help but gasp as you saw who you'd bumped into.

You could've sworn you had just accidentally ran into an angel, you had never seen a boy so pretty. You couldn't take your eyes from him as you tried to cough out an apology, despite the situation, you had already been horrible and talking to people to begin with, which was part of the reason why you loved your current job.

He had the prettiest white hair, his skin pale to match, and he just looked absolutely perfect, like he were a wax model, and not a real human being. A surge of inspiration was running through your bloodstream, a muse.

You had only just seen him, but you were certain, you had never seen anybody like him in your life, not even in any cartoons, or animated shows. You weren't sure if maybe this was some cruel dream, if he wasn't actually a real person or not, but you didn't have the time to be worrying over such a trivial matter.

Your eyes met his green ones, he looked surprised, you were staring at him rather intently without even realising, god, you must've looked so stupid.

" I'm so sorry, I should've been looking where I was going.." You finally managed to squeak out, you had to keep your cool. " I really need to get going, though, if I ever see you again um...- I'll pay you back! I promise!"

You hadn't given the taller man the chance to reply as you skirted around him, quickly walking off. You wished you had managed to hold s longer conversation with whoever that was, but your work really was a more pressing issue, and anyway, you doubted you'd ever actually see him again.

[komaedailoveyou]

when an i love you doesn’t fix things anymore - atsumu miya x reader angst.

just pure angst, also hey first post here :] , please dont be too harsh lol

2.6k

it wasn’t like this was something you could blame him for, in fact , this had been what you’d signed up for when you begun dating him, maybe this was just your heart being selfish.

your relationship hadn’t always been on the rocks with atsumu, there used to be a time when the two of you would spend your days together, living out the teenage dream, your hand in his, running to the who-knows-where of the future.

but when you grow up, that was when things had started to change between the two of you.

atsumu was late to dinners frequently, or missing them entirely, blaming it on his practise, or saying he already ate out with the team even though he’d never sent you any texts to inform you, of course it had upset you, yet you never had it in you to tell him.

his away games weren’t great for you either, you were happy for him, going out there and achieving his dreams, but you’d thrown away all of that shit, just for him, it was undeniable that you were jealous of your husband, you really were, and not to mention this meant you were left alone for tedious amounts of time, with only his texts as reassurance, well if he would even reply.

you really did love him, you’d loved him from since he was a boy, and he’d loved you too, but you didn’t have it in you to believe him at that point.

the way which he used to kiss your face and go on about how lucky he was before sleeping, had resorted to “ night, love you “ and maybe a quick peck if you were lucky, and it just wasn’t the same anymore.

maybe fame had gotten to him, or maybe your love was so worn that, you had no words left to speak to each other, and you weren’t sure which one would hurt more.

today, it was different, you weren’t sat at the dinner table, or in the kitchen when atsumu had entered your home, late.

he threw his jacket off to the coat-rack of your home, walking in with his usual peppiness.

you sat there, on your sofa, casually, not sparing the man even a glance, its not like he was looking your way to begin with.

“ and what made you late this time? “ there was a slight tinge of venom to your words.

“ well, we gotta big game comin up, so yknow we kinda gotta train baby! “ he shook it off like it was nothing; just like he always did.

“ what does that have to do with you being late? “ you had tried to ask in the politest way possible, not wanting to start an argument.

“ i jus toldja! we had to train more! “

was he deliberately ignoring the question you’d asked, or was he just playing dumb?

“ ..isn’t that what you’ve been doing the rest of the day? what have you been doing if not training? “ you were beginning to get annoyed by that point.

“ i jus got through the door and all yer gonna do is nag me? at least im fuckin workin for us! “

“ well one of us has to cook and clean, and since you cant be bothered be home half the fucking time then who the hell would if i didn’t? “

screw not wanting an argument, you were done just letting him trample over your marriage.

“ god, you were so much better when you-!” he began to snap at you, as if you were the one who’d done something.

“ nevermind, ‘m jus gonna leave ya to yerself since ya clearly dont want me here. “

how had love turned itself into this?

you could remember those days, where he told it would be you and him against the world, and what a lie it was.

and what was funnier, was that you

believed him completely.

you scoffed.

“ no, go on, since you clearly had something you wanted to say to me ” you dug deeper into the hole you’d both been digging, unknowingly.

atsumu didn’t say anything in reply, just edging closer to the bedroom door.

“ oh, what? have you gone shy on me now? you’re a grown man miya. “

atsumu hadn’t heard you call him by his last name before, when you were kids you’d always call him atsu.

he didn’t know why that made his heart ache.

“ are you afraid of ruining our marriage or something? maybe if you’d worried about that sooner, we wouldn’t be here!” it felt as if you weren’t in control of your words anymore, the composure you’d had for months had finally slipped, and out came a flood.

you’d heard him mumble something incoherent, and didn’t chase him up in it, just laughing dryly to yourself as he slammed the door behind him.

you’d done every single little thing, for your marriage to work out, you’d given up what you loved, you’d cooked every night for him, you always supported him unconditionally, went to all of his games, but no matter how much you did, he treated you like you were just a chore.

you held your face in your hands, sighing.

what was there to do now? he didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing, he was so focused on his career that loving you had become a hobby, and volleyball was what consumed his heart.

maybe it would be better for you, if you started focusing on yourself more, but you weren’t sure if you were prepared for that heartache.

you shook your head, you needed to hear it from someone else, who wasn’t atsumu.

picking up your phone, your finger drifted over the contact button to your closest friend, osamu.

if atsumu had been there your whole life, it had been a given that osamu wouldve had to of been there too, they were inseparable.

whilst you hadn’t managed to speak to him in a while, you’d still thought that

you were close and all that jazz.

you tapped the call button , and sat there, waiting.

“ hello? “ you heard his voice, putting the phone closer to your ear.

“ hey samu…”

“ its been a while, how’ve you been? “

“ well, i’ve been alive which is a start..”

“ yer not really known for chitchat so why’dya call me? “

osamu had only just home as well after closing down his shop, you hadn’t rven thought to take that into account.

“ so..you know how atsumu and i are..well, married? “

“ considerin i was at yer weddin, i’d say i knew that..” he chuckled quietly, making you smile slightly.

“ it’s honestly beginning to feel like he’s married to volleyball , and not me, and im really not sure what i need to do, it feels like im the only one who’s trying to keep our relationship afloat..” you trailed off, not sure what else to add.

“ well, i can’t doubt the fact that tsumu loves ya, considerin how he proposed ‘n everythin….” he paused, thinking up what to say.

“ have ya directly spoken to him about the issue instead of jus glossin over it like ya normally do? “

there was silence on your end.

“ well, then tsumu aint gonna understand what yer gettin upset about then…god yer both just idiot..”

“ what if it makes things worse though? “

you spoke silently.

“ stop worryin, yer gonna be okay, now if ya don’t mind, ‘ve gotta go, ya should come round my shop sometimes, miss havin ya here. “

he gave you no time to argue back with that.

“ thank you, bye samu. “

and he hung up.

was that really what you wanted to do? talk it out with someone who would probably refuse to listen..?

well, some things had to be done, even if it would take you out of your comfort zone.

it had been about an hour of you deliberating, what to say, how to say it , but why? he had never cared to do that, he hadn’t tried to fix anything, he was fine with this.

maybe you just wanted too much, maybe this was how marriage was supposed to be?

not going on dates anymore, never cuddling, having one sided conversations about his job whenever you spoke, facing away from each other when you slept.

maybe that was all love boiled down to be, finding someone to put up with until you die.

that wasn’t what media had portrayed, but that was alright.

no, no it wasn’t alright , that was a lie, but you’d tell yourself it to make yourself sleep at night.

you took in a deep breath, finally getting up from your sofa , someone had to address the issue.

you walked towards your bedroom, where he’d resided.

before you could open the door , someone already beat you to it, and there you were face to face.

and just like the lovestruck teen you were, looking into his eyes had you at a loss for words, so you averted eye contact to the wall beside him.

you cursed yourself, after all these words, why did he still have that affect on you? you knew the answer, you just didn’t want to admit to it.

even after everything he’d done, you still loved him as purely as you had.

oh how hopeless you were.

“ we need to talk. “

sounds like a goodbye in one sense, its like a sign of maturity , growth, and no one has ever really used it in the good sense, its always something said before a serious chat, and thats something you’ve always been too afraid to say, even as an adult. you hated the way something could end so easily with just a few words, but if you didn’t say it now, when would you?

“ yeah..” well, at least he didn’t seem as pissed off as he had before.

you walked past him, taking a seat on your shared bed, patting the spot next to you for him to come over.

he did without a fight.

that was the first time he’d done something you said in a while.

“ listen , ‘m sorry that-“

you put you hand up infront of him, still not looking at him.

“ i dont want to hear an apology now, i would’ve wanted to hear one a while ago, but not now. “

he opened his mouth to say something again, but you just continued to speak.

“ things have been like this for a while haven’t they? “

he nodded.

“ and, we both know that they wont be able to change, because this is how things will always be , if we dont put an end to this. “

“ i’ve loved you for years atsumu, i mean it, i’ve loved you so fucking much, and the worst thing is, i still do. i’ll never be able to stop, but , i have to let go of you, for both of our sakes. “

atsumu hadn’t realised that he was crying, until he felt a wetness to his hand.

“ no-wait- please, darling, please just stop, i love ya, please dont go..”

“ i dont really want to, but how would you like it if the person who you loved rarely ever made any time for you, what would you do if they changed so much they became unrecognisable , but you love them too much to be apart from them, how would you feel? “

“ im so sorry please..i..know that i haven’t been a good husband to you, but i’m trying, i didn’t think ya felt like this..i ..all i’ve wanted was to make ya happy, ya’ve been my world since before i can remember…i promise i can fix it..i need ya..i know i said some stuff i don’t mean…but everyday i look forward to comin home n seein ya..no matter how tired i am from practise, i wouldn’t want anyone else to be married to me, please give me another chance, i’ll get home on time…everyday. “

“ this isn’t just about you getting homr late, you don’t understand the sacrifices i have made for this marriage, you have no idea how it feels to cut yourself into pieces just so you can fit yourself into someone elses life, im so fucking unhappy atsumu, i cant even think of the last time you genuinely said i love you to me without saying it out of pity…i’ve given you so many chances, but its always training that you prioritise, its never been me. “

“ no..yer wrong it’s always been you, hell i’ll retire if ya want me to, we have enough money, we could get a new house, anywhere in the world ya want, we can get pets, or have children if ya want..i’ve been a jerk..but please..i don’t wantcha to leave, i do mean i love ya..”

“ do you really love me though? or do you just love the idea of me? having someone make you meals and to share in bed so you dont sleep alone, do you even know anything about me? “

“ of course i do…” atsumu wracked jos brain, trying to think of something, but, it turns out, you had been right.

“ no, you dont atsumu, im sorry, but if you’re not even willing to have an actually conversation with me everyday that isn’t about how good you are at volleyball, then how would this work? you never even ask me how my day is? “

he bit his lip, hard.

“ im not asking you to pick your job or me, i know how passionate you are for it, i’ve grown up with you, and really you’re an incredible player, probably one of the best, and i am so proud that you got this far, but you put everything into it, and nothing into us. as much as i’ve tried to make this work, i’m the only one who had us in mind, this whole time. “

you stood up, but atsumu gripped your wrist softly, stopping you from leaving.

“ i messed up, i get it.. yer the only

person who i’ll love, please jus stay here with me, i’ll do anythin..please.. “

you could feel that he was shaking, and wanted nothing more to hug him and tell him that you’d stay, but if you did that, you’d be giving in to him. you couldn’t let yourself do it, he’d not comforted you at all, so it’s not like he was deserving of any back.

“ i’ll send the papers over when i can, i’ll be staying at my sisters house for the time being. “ you told him sternly, now you could hear him start to sob.

you grabbed his hand with your free one, and pulled it off of you, and wordlessly slided the ring on you finger off, placing it into his palm.

“ focus on your career, like you always have been doing. “

“ [Name] just, give me tonight, please, we can order takeout, watch a movie you like, and snuggle and i can have the day off tomorrow too..! we can go out somewhere ..we could do anything you wanted..stay here…i love you”

“ you shook your head, if you really wanted to do any of that, you would’ve done it by now. “

you could hear the creak of the bed as he stood up, as you briskly left , now that he wasn’t holding you back.

“ goodbye, atsumu. “