kiwi-duckquack

[kiwi-duckquack]

Apparently, you are living in a time loop. Also apparently, you are the only person on Earth who DOESN'T remember the previous iterations. This is the first time you've experienced today; the rest of humanity has been stuck reliving today for years now.

[kiwi-duckquack]

LMAOOOOO

[kiwi-duckquack]

Translation: “I am fucking tired of the soviet car industry” *the standard effect of touching a soviet car* *laughs in russian*

[kiwi-duckquack]

Amazing pottery skills

[kiwi-duckquack]

sometimes i remember my first ever experience with a time loop story when i was like 8: Help! I'm Trapped in the First Day of Summer Camp by Todd Strasser.

The title says it all; kid goes to camp, makes friends with "cool kids" and gets peer pressured into being a shithead and a bully, wakes up the next day with things reset to arriving at camp.

But the thing is, this book is part of a series. Most of the books are this same kid getting caught up in body swap shenanigans, but he had gotten caught in a time loop once in a previous book. So he knew the score. He just needed to not be a jerk today. Cue him being overly nice to the point of blatant insincerity, making everyone wildly uncomfortable. No growth, just trying to appease the forces that be. Loop continues looping.

Yadda yadda, finally figures out how to be a genuinely nice kid who stands up to bullies and makes friends with the nerdy kid, etc etc, got everything perfectly right.

When that loop doesn't work he immediately throws himself off the bus to camp to kill himself. Loop again.

Finally, having resigned himself to never escaping the loop but at least he can dedicate it to being a good kid with nice friends, a thought occurs to him. There's one thing he hasn't done a single time in all the loops.

He brushes his teeth before bed. And wakes up the next day.

and frankly, i think more time loops should be hinged on morality-neutral mundane tasks. escape the time loop by taking your meds. free yourself by taking a shower. my man todd was a visionary

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damn, she’s a bad bitch. oh they’re nonbinary? my bad. damn, they’re a bad person

[kiwi-duckquack]

i feel like game piracy is sometimes viewed as this massive disruption to the game industry and not just “a small group of people who weren’t going to buy a game anyways now have it on their computer.” when companies report “losses” due to piracy that’s fake. that’s a fake number because no money was actually ever exchanged and companies cannot possibly know how many people actually pirated their game. piracy does not work like this

[kiwi-duckquack]

the world is a mess but at least we still have cunnilingus and spicy curry

[kiwi-duckquack]

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

[kiwi-duckquack]

The funniest thing about Jason’s “no dealing to kids” rule is that generally the age threshold for weed and other hard substances is 21, and Jason did his whole insane plot at nineteen. Meaning, he technically falls into the category of “off limits”

[kiwi-duckquack]

You wake in the night with your arm hanging over the side of your bed. It is still dark, and your bedroom is shrouded with deep shadows. Something unseen seizes your hand.

You grasp it tightly, knowing that first impressions are important and a firm, confident handshake will establish dominance.

[kiwi-duckquack]

cassandra cain u make my head and heart ache

[kiwi-duckquack]

they hate each other.

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joint mission

it would be so funny if this was how the identity reveal happens

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u know those little 20 questions toy things. i brought one to my tattoo appointment & i busted it out 2 distract me from the pain bc im a wimp & i was makin it guess a pickle but none of the questions it asked were really applicable to a pickle & i was periodically askin my mom (7 feet away from me gettin the same tattoo) for input & it asks me "is it independent" & i ask her "is a pickle independent" & everyone in the place (like 8 people) just stops and contemplates the independence of a pickle for a minute

[kiwi-duckquack]

objectively the funniest moral panic to come from conservatives is "alternative energy is bad because birds might fly into the wind turbines". birds, which notoriously have no other man-made obstacles, such as the window

[kiwi-duckquack]