kikiro-meave

[kikiro-meave]

The whole Kiki and Zane situation

Major Content Warning for sexual assault, unwanted pregnancy, and lack of consent

Yeah this is a thing. That we need to talk about. I'm keeping the whole amulet thing the same, I actually have a lot of thoughts about these amulets, where they came from, and why they do what they do, but in this situation I think it works. But we are not going to gloss over this situation at all.

I am necessitating downtime after the first major fiasco with Zane. I literally don't know what happens after that but there is as much time as I want for characters to just process that whole fucking ordeal. Especially Kiki. Give her time to process the physical trauma of having a child under such extreme circumstances, maybe show her going to the Irene Statue to pray or getting healing potions from Zoey or eventually Lucinda to help her body deal with the after effects.

Let Kiki be emotional about it. Let someone ask her how she's doing and that time she can't lie about it. She can't hide the miserable look in her eyes. She's tried to hide this from Leona, she doesn't want her daughter to have to deal with the burden of her origin and what it did to Kiki, but deep down Kiki knows she can't stop that from happening. She knows Leona will always be affected by this and she's completely shaken at the mere thought of having to explain it to her later in life.

And let other characters express thoughts on this!! I feel like canon absolutely ignores a lot of characters feelings, especially people in Season 1 Phoenix Drop, and will just focus on a certain part of a series of events while ignoring or rarely bringing up another. Like I honestly forgot this whole subplot happened when I went in for a rewatch a year ago and was absolutely mortified by how little the story focused on a fucking traumatizing experience that it just shows on screen.

Garroth shows up at Kiki's barn because at this point, the jig is up. Everyone in Phoenix Drop knows who he is and who his brother is. And most people know he despises Zane and that Garroth is fundamentally a different person. But he still shoulders guilt for how bad it got for some people. Especially Kiki. He saw the way Zane looked at her, the way he fancied her. Even when he and Irena both warn her about Zane, Garroth still feels like he didn't do enough to prevent this.

He agonizes over how to talk to her and ends up pacing near the staircase up to her second floor while he tries to work it out. Garroth forgets that his armor is fucking LOUD and Kiki can hear him in her echoey ass barn, so she just yells at him to come upstairs and get this over with.

Garroth is eventually coaxed into revealing how guilty he feels about this happening. He starts to blame himself for it, and Kiki very quickly shuts that down. The only person at fault is Zane. There's no way Garroth could have known the depths of cruelty his brother would go to, and she doesn't want anyone being blamed for this other than Zane. She decided to keep Leona and raise her as her own, in spite of the man who helped create her.

Garroth apologizes for trying to shift the blame and resolves to instead ensure Zane isn't able to get that close to anyone he cares about. And he takes his role as Leona's uncle very seriously. For the time he gets to before the season 1 finale, Garroth often spends time around Kiki and Leona. Sometimes he'll baby sit so Kiki can get some rest, or he'll tell Kiki stories of what his youngest brother was like as a child. He quietly omits any mention of the middle brother.

Irena and Kiki have long talks about parenting and how Kiki plans to raise Leona. Irena keeps giving her this sad look, and Kiki admits that she's much more damaged than she lets on. But Irena has enough on her shoulders. Kiki admits that she's been processing a lot of this with Brendan and Donna, who she considers her very dear friends, and that while she's so happy Irena cares so much, it isn't her problem to worry about. She isn't allowed to blame herself for it, and she isn't allowed to try and take more onto her plate for Kiki's sake.

Gods I love Kiki so much. She's such an underrated character and I really want to explore her and other underutilized members of the village quite a bit more in this rewrite. Really make Phoenix Drop into the incredibly fucked up found family it was meant to be.

And let's be clear that even after 15 years, 15 years of healing, of loving, of having a life without Zane, of having a life with the daughter she adores, Kiki is still healing. There are scars on her stomach that will never go away. She's fairly confident she'll never be able to give birth again and has come to terms with that. She doesn't let herself be very intimate with people anymore, and anyone who knows her isn't pushy at all. They're just grateful that Kiki is incredibly strong and unbelievably stubborn.

One day Leona comes downstairs and some of her hair is covering her eye the same way Zane's did. Kiki tries to hide how tense and uncomfortable this makes her, asking Leona in a fairly roundabout way how she'd feel about a haircut. Even if Leona isn't fully aware of the situation at this point, she can tell that something's got her mom acting a little off. And the long hair is harder to maintain when she's trying to hunt.

Short hair Leona. That's it.

Even if it takes forever to get to this point, there's something fundamentally healing about Garroth getting to meet Leona. A lot has changed in the time he was gone, but Irena prepared him for a lot of it. What she couldn't have prepared him for is how it would feel to see a 15 year old Leona racing around the island chasing after some other kid like a feral beast. Like I'm so serious Garroth is so close to crying when he meets her.

Once Leona realizes who he is, she's ecstatic because she's heard so many stories about her uncle Garroth from her mom!! She's always wanted to meet him!! Garroth has a massive complex around his family and their impact on the lives of those around him, but when he gets to see how happy Kiki and Leona are, it kind of just melts away and he gets to spend an afternoon playing with his niece in the forest.

[kikiro-meave]

HI IM OPENING UP COMMISSIONS SO I CAN HAVE MONEY FOR MY LOCAL COMIC AND TOY CON!

I am willing to do basically everything except porn ! Tell me what you want, pay me 20-40$ USD and I’ll draw whatever basically I don’t care if you’re on my DNI im genuinely desperate for help right now I work from 10am-3pm EST so if I don’t respond right away that’s why but it would help a ton thank you

[kikiro-meave]

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, I fucked my entire right arm up to my shoulder blade and it’s super sore as fuck like it hurts to even move or type.

But I’ve been trying to paint Ein and Zane on my duplicate meemeows and omfg getting acrylic paint on your wrist brace? Literal nightmare

[kikiro-meave]

Free therapy is drawing your fave in fits that went hard in high school

Text says

- beanie made by mom (shaved bald spot)

(Which actually is the reason I’m wearing a beanie in the pic my mom shaved a bald spot in my hair and she made the hat)

- gauged to 4 (I had gauged ears! Now he does too)

- drawstrings are earbuds (which actually is true my hoodie had hidden earbuds I abused the fuck out of and actually got caught watching aph and Dan and phil during class)

[kikiro-meave]

Haha loser 4 views by the time I made this comment Nice feet by the way.....?

Everyone this is my partner 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 they are the Laurence to my Garroth and I love them so much I hope they explode and I’ll show you my feet later big boy 😗🥵💕

[kikiro-meave]

Wow. Im speechless and I mean that in the nicest most positive way, like. Wow. I’ve never seen it clearly laid out and genuinely put in such a clear format of understanding my EXACT feelings on this. Legit no joke. Amazing reblog.

I fully agree; it’s one million times more entertaining to me when Jess is with her friends and not taking it too seriously, even if it’s only a mini game and non canon videos ya know? They are way more, more interesting than MCD imo, and I really liked mystreet after PDH because it wasn’t just HER imo. But yeah holy shit. You get it 100% dude.

Man I’m rewatchin MCD and does Jess have adhd or something? I’ve been trying to rewatch and can’t think, and I’m mildly confused she’s constantly like OH I NEED TO DO THIS AND THEN TALK TO GARROTH OH LETS TALK TO BRENDEN OH WAIT BUT GARROTH and I can’t tell if it’s just her or if it’s ME being older now but she bounces around so quick that like I get so confused ten minutes into an episode because I have no idea what she’s doing and I DID watch mcd to completion when I was young so wtf why is it so hard now :( and maybe I’m so used to hearing the other voice actors and having more animation that now it’s difficult to watch how she USED to make content idk

[kikiro-meave]

Man I’m rewatchin MCD and does Jess have adhd or something? I’ve been trying to rewatch and can’t think, and I’m mildly confused she’s constantly like OH I NEED TO DO THIS AND THEN TALK TO GARROTH OH LETS TALK TO BRENDEN OH WAIT BUT GARROTH and I can’t tell if it’s just her or if it’s ME being older now but she bounces around so quick that like I get so confused ten minutes into an episode because I have no idea what she’s doing and I DID watch mcd to completion when I was young so wtf why is it so hard now :( and maybe I’m so used to hearing the other voice actors and having more animation that now it’s difficult to watch how she USED to make content idk

[kikiro-meave]

OMG someone who can edit. Please I will pay literal actual money for someone to edit me a video of Gene to I’m Not A Vampire by Falling In Reverse. I need it so bad it’s so him coded

He’s so vampire coded!!!!!!!!!!

[kikiro-meave]

YOU!!! NO DUDE IT WAS EXTREMELY FUNNY I ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY BED !!

Was on eins Wiki last night and found this and I don’t know why but it made me laugh so fucking hard just EINS CORPSE :)

[kikiro-meave]

I feel like projecting on to Travis

I’m fully convinced he was like me in middle school, where he was secretly a girl the whole time but he wanted to be a boy so bad, so he got a very of the time boy hair cut, only wore hoodies and baggy pants and purposefully taught himself to talk deeper and walk more masc and acted like a boy so much so that even his teachers and classmates were convinced he was a boy until some bullies who found out he was actually a girl outed him because they saw him change in gym class :(

[kikiro-meave]

Was on eins Wiki last night and found this and I don’t know why but it made me laugh so fucking hard just EINS CORPSE :)

[kikiro-meave]

Thinking about the quote

In every other universe Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man, and in every *other* universe. It doesn’t end well”

But change Gwen Stacy to Garroth and Spider-Man to aphmau :)

[kikiro-meave]

I might hate him, but even I can admit, he knows how to serve ❤️

MCD Zane Redraw for another request! (also I say I hate him in a positive way, I guess? He's a great character and he succeeds at pissing me off as any good villain should 👍 )

[kikiro-meave]

finally remembered to make this

[kikiro-meave]

zane except im not active in the aphmau fandom and dont know how people usually draw him so be nice. rewatching mystreet oufj. kill me. now.

[kikiro-meave]

God I wanna rp so bad, I forgot a lot of the plot of diaries (I know the major stuff tho) but like I’d like to do maybe like just a bunch of the shows, MYSTREET, mcd maybe some aus ya know but I wanna like do a bunch of rps but idk if anyone would be interested in that? Also I’d only be rping with adults preferably 20 and older but :p ya know. Idk if anyone is interested in rping AND YOURE AN ADULT. dm me idk ?

Edit: I will say I’m rewatching everything currently so

[kikiro-meave]

WAIT GIZZY! I REMEMBER THAT NAME!!! HOLY COW! I totally forgot he existed! And omg those both sound super cool! I’ll absolutely check them out! They are now on the list!!

Okay don’t bully me. But I really love Minecraft roleplay and I wanna watch more not just Aphmau

Can anyone recommend a few good ones that I could get into? Preferably unrelated to dream, quackity or any of his friends in the DSMP

And I’ll be honest no offense to dsmp fandom, I just feel Too Old to be in a fandom run built up by minors and Dream