kellandavidchristopher

[kellandavidchristopher]

She asked me for a ring. 💍

I get her a ring. 💍

She kisses me and says she’s on cloud nine 9️⃣

I’m obsessed. 🤩

I will die a happy man. 👨

[kellandavidchristopher]

Two days ago my husband said "...and he was pissed" and I said "don't say that around the kids!" so he corrected himself to "and he was liquid angry" and I've been laughing since

[kellandavidchristopher]

A friend recently explained to me that grocery stores will move inventory around to get you to wander more and hopefully get you to buy more than you originally planned.

I hate it. It's annoying and conniving. But it makes sense.

[kellandavidchristopher]

Reminder to self:

[kellandavidchristopher]

Sometimes I just think about her and how I have her and I get to be her man. Like this is everything I’ve dreamed of. For real? I get to love her? I get to spoil her? I get to be her biggest fan?! Incredible! No notes!

[kellandavidchristopher]

There is no shame in loving without abandon. ✌️❤️

[kellandavidchristopher]

And then she says shit like “propose with a mini cow” but then says she would be happy with a Hereford calf since I can get one easily from my herd back home. And talks about needing a 3D printer for our house someday.

And I just

I cannot.

I fucking love her so much.

[kellandavidchristopher]

dear people with OCD: the next time you have spiraling & intrusive thoughts, what-ifs, or catastrophizing scenarios, I am sending a cardigan-wearing 46-year old NYU professor directly into your brain and he says "Aaaaand scene!!!" and he claps his hands slowly. and he says "Wow. Wow. Powerful stuff. Evocative imagery. A little bit post-modern, a little bit hysterical realism in the vein of Don Delilo but let's pause right here." and you will recognize your thoughts as a perplexing avant-garde film shown to an audience of 15 liberal arts students who are now trying to get a good grade and sleep with their professor.

[kellandavidchristopher]

It’s weird how everyone hating you when you’re nine years old still affects your self esteem when you’re 26 like yeah nobody came to my birthday party but that was like 17 years ago why is it stopping me from going to a gay bar

[kellandavidchristopher]

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

[kellandavidchristopher]

dinosaur sprinkles. look at this post with your eyes if you agree

[kellandavidchristopher]

I used to think if I could have any super power it would be invisibility. But now as a man with a family? Force fields. Invulnerability. Those things are more important. If I can protect them? That’s the best.

[kellandavidchristopher]

[kellandavidchristopher]

You're not immune to being the bully btw. You're not immune to being in the wrong

[kellandavidchristopher]

i really could write an essay on how shit is that we’ve completely abandoned the monster-of-the-week episode format even when rebooting shows that relied on it to replace them with grimdark edgy plotlines where nothing feels good or accomplished at the end of the day

[kellandavidchristopher]

I gues the question isn’t “are you still confused?” but rather “what flavor of confused are you?”

You see the flowers were right.

She loves me

She loves me not.

Confused, but possibly living my best life? None of this makes any sense and yet the anxiety isn’t saying “wrong!!!” it says “oh but what if we lost this”. This is new.

[kellandavidchristopher]

ok memes aside i have some insight for the americans tonight as a brazilian

we had a similar situation a few years ago, our own far right asshole was stabbed at a rally and survived. guess what? the right organised and rallied behind it, he got martyred without dying. they turned that event into some divine-esque thing it was nuts. our political climate at the time was perfect for a far right storm, and lo and behold he got elected

it doesn't take a political scientist to see the republicans are about to do the exact same thing so stay vigilant, this is gonna boost his numbers more than you think