kdaisies

[kdaisies]

[kdaisies]

The weight of dysphoria is suffocating, and I'm on a quest to achieve my mastectomy dream. Your support through sharing or donating via PayPal (kaleomendesm@gmail.com for US donations) is deeply appreciated. Gratitude for your generosity.

[kdaisies]

The relentless grip of dysphoria is indescribable, and I'm determined to make my mastectomy dream a reality. Your support through sharing or donating via PayPal (kaleomendesm@gmail.com for US donations) means the world. Grateful for your assistance.

[kdaisies]

On November 1st, I was feeling very bad, but now I'm calmer to share what happened. Recently, I went through another heavy bout of depression. Suicidal thoughts and even attempts, along with a lot of sadness, despair, and so on.

One thing that doesn't make sense is that everything in my life was fine. My only trigger had been a comment from my own son that left me extremely dysphoric. So, I continued my therapy at Casulo (the transgender outpatient clinic in my city) as usual, being honest and open with the professionals there during this delicate time, which coincided with the rib injury I suffered from wearing a binder. Even though I was depressed, I stayed strong in therapy, attending regularly, following the psychiatrist's recommendations to bring my partner for dialogue, and I even started a campaign to raise funds for my surgery. This gave me a boost, and I managed to climb out of the pit, even though my psychiatrist increased my medication dosage.

With the donated money, I was even able to have my first private consultation with the mastologist. As I mentioned before, I had given up on the public health system (SUS) after they lost my medical records from UREDIPE (the former outpatient clinic), and I spent ANOTHER YEAR at Casulo with the count of time RESET.

However, my hopes of getting surgery through SUS were revived last week when, during a consultation with the endocrinologist at the Casulo project, he started the referral process for me to go to Jean Bittar.

I filled out an anamnesis and did the same with the psychologist. When I asked the endocrinologist if he thought I could still have my surgery this year, he said it was VERY LIKELY. He added that on the 1st of the month, I should go to an appointment with the psychiatrist to obtain the last necessary assessment, and then it would be with the social services (to be referred to Jean Bittar). Obviously, I was SUPER HAPPY, thinking that I was going to get my surgery through SUS!!!

I don't know if you can understand how delicate it is to give someone with a dream hope. Especially a dream that directly relates to my mental health, given that the need for this surgery causes me to have very low lows, to become extremely depressed, and to desire to give up on my life!!! These were the hopes that were given to me.

I was so confident that I would have the surgery through SUS that, perhaps those who follow me have noticed, I reduced the promotion of my campaign.

On the 1st, however, when I went to the Casulo project (I had a routine appointment with a psychologist, and theoretically, I was ONLY going to do an anamnesis with the psychiatrist to get my assessment), everything went wrong.

Basically, the argument I heard was that the psychology and psychiatry team understood that I "had just come out of a crisis" and therefore I "needed to get better a little more" before being referred to Jean Bittar (the hospital that performs mastectomies).

You see, as I said, the reason for my crisis was a trigger that made me feel dysphoric. It was dysphoria that made me feel bad, it was the lack of respect and responsibility with MY DOCUMENTS when I was at UREDIPE, it was MY NEED TO HAVE SURGERY that seemed extremely distant.

How could I get better from what hurts before being able to get better from what hurts?? It doesn't make sense. I feel dysphoria about my chest, and this operation is an urgent need that is being neglected and affecting my mental health, but they consider that I FIRST have to get better mentally to have the surgery (????) Obviously, I gave myself the right not to stay in the Casulo office under the extremely stressful conditions that have made me go through this ONCE AGAIN.

The SESPA (the State Department of Health of Pará) should investigate my situation because at this moment, it felt easier to end my life completely; it was my support network that got me back on track!

Even if this "get better a little more" innocently refers to a few weeks, it still shattered someone's expectations in a CRUEL way. I sincerely felt driven to madness, and I left there desolate without even getting to talk to the psychiatrist.

To be honest, I don't even feel like GOING BACK TO CASULO!! Everything is an illusion. A lie. It seems that no one from SESPA or the Government of Pará really cares about the transgender population. We have to accept everything silently and pretend that everything is fine!

How can one stabilize after going through all the necessary consultations at UREDIPE, having my data lost, restarting the count at Casulo, having yet another year of regular follow-up, and finally, after all this time, being referred, only to be told that I "need to stabilize" first????

It's unfeasible. I don't deny the need for psychiatric and psychological care. I don't deny that this goes beyond my gender identity; I talk openly about it every day, I know I'm neurodivergent.

The question is, don't neurodivergent individuals have the right to have surgery as well??? After all, it's dysphoria that's inflaming a mental health condition I already have!!?

I won't allow myself to be silenced or buried by cisgender norms. I will fight for my surgery, by any means it may come.

I KNOW I'm neurodivergent, but I don't have a diagnosis because the psychiatry team doesn't give us diagnoses easily, but it's always easy to incapacitate us and say that we need to "recover from the crisis" before addressing the root cause of the damn crisis.

If I'm not neurodivergent and my crises are exacerbated by dysphoria caused by the need for mastectomy, I DEMAND, at a minimu: the mastectomy.

Now, if I'm neurodivergent and I have a mental condition BEYOND gender identity, I DEMAND my diagnosis and an ACCURATE assessment so that I have a basis for what exactly I'm recovering from, what my condition is, and what rights I have!

Furthermore, I still demand my mastectomy ANYWAY, because it's my right as a transgender person! After all, dysphoria inflames the inherent condition of whatever is affecting my mental health!

[kdaisies]

The weight of dysphoria is suffocating, and I'm on a quest to achieve my mastectomy dream. Your support through sharing or donating via PayPal (kaleomendesm@gmail.com for US donations) is deeply appreciated. Gratitude for your generosity.

[kdaisies]

Dysphoria is an overwhelming pain, and I'm on a journey to achieve my mastectomy dream. Your support through sharing or donating via PayPal (kaleomendesm@gmail.com for US donations) is deeply appreciated. Gratitude for your help.

[kdaisies]

Dysphoria is an overwhelming sensation that not only causes pain but also creates a sense of helplessness and powerlessness in the face of "reality." Please, assist me in fulfilling my dream of having my top surgery!

[kdaisies]

On November 1st, I was feeling very bad, but now I'm calmer to share what happened. Recently, I went through another heavy bout of depression. Suicidal thoughts and even attempts, along with a lot of sadness, despair, and so on.

One thing that doesn't make sense is that everything in my life was fine. My only trigger had been a comment from my own son that left me extremely dysphoric. So, I continued my therapy at Casulo (the transgender outpatient clinic in my city) as usual, being honest and open with the professionals there during this delicate time, which coincided with the rib injury I suffered from wearing a binder. Even though I was depressed, I stayed strong in therapy, attending regularly, following the psychiatrist's recommendations to bring my partner for dialogue, and I even started a campaign to raise funds for my surgery. This gave me a boost, and I managed to climb out of the pit, even though my psychiatrist increased my medication dosage.

With the donated money, I was even able to have my first private consultation with the mastologist. As I mentioned before, I had given up on the public health system (SUS) after they lost my medical records from UREDIPE (the former outpatient clinic), and I spent ANOTHER YEAR at Casulo with the count of time RESET.

However, my hopes of getting surgery through SUS were revived last week when, during a consultation with the endocrinologist at the Casulo project, he started the referral process for me to go to Jean Bittar.

I filled out an anamnesis and did the same with the psychologist. When I asked the endocrinologist if he thought I could still have my surgery this year, he said it was VERY LIKELY. He added that on the 1st of the month, I should go to an appointment with the psychiatrist to obtain the last necessary assessment, and then it would be with the social services (to be referred to Jean Bittar). Obviously, I was SUPER HAPPY, thinking that I was going to get my surgery through SUS!!!

I don't know if you can understand how delicate it is to give someone with a dream hope. Especially a dream that directly relates to my mental health, given that the need for this surgery causes me to have very low lows, to become extremely depressed, and to desire to give up on my life!!! These were the hopes that were given to me.

I was so confident that I would have the surgery through SUS that, perhaps those who follow me have noticed, I reduced the promotion of my campaign.

On the 1st, however, when I went to the Casulo project (I had a routine appointment with a psychologist, and theoretically, I was ONLY going to do an anamnesis with the psychiatrist to get my assessment), everything went wrong.

Basically, the argument I heard was that the psychology and psychiatry team understood that I "had just come out of a crisis" and therefore I "needed to get better a little more" before being referred to Jean Bittar (the hospital that performs mastectomies).

You see, as I said, the reason for my crisis was a trigger that made me feel dysphoric. It was dysphoria that made me feel bad, it was the lack of respect and responsibility with MY DOCUMENTS when I was at UREDIPE, it was MY NEED TO HAVE SURGERY that seemed extremely distant.

How could I get better from what hurts before being able to get better from what hurts?? It doesn't make sense. I feel dysphoria about my chest, and this operation is an urgent need that is being neglected and affecting my mental health, but they consider that I FIRST have to get better mentally to have the surgery (????) Obviously, I gave myself the right not to stay in the Casulo office under the extremely stressful conditions that have made me go through this ONCE AGAIN.

The SESPA (the State Department of Health of Pará) should investigate my situation because at this moment, it felt easier to end my life completely; it was my support network that got me back on track!

Even if this "get better a little more" innocently refers to a few weeks, it still shattered someone's expectations in a CRUEL way. I sincerely felt driven to madness, and I left there desolate without even getting to talk to the psychiatrist.

To be honest, I don't even feel like GOING BACK TO CASULO!! Everything is an illusion. A lie. It seems that no one from SESPA or the Government of Pará really cares about the transgender population. We have to accept everything silently and pretend that everything is fine!

How can one stabilize after going through all the necessary consultations at UREDIPE, having my data lost, restarting the count at Casulo, having yet another year of regular follow-up, and finally, after all this time, being referred, only to be told that I "need to stabilize" first????

It's unfeasible. I don't deny the need for psychiatric and psychological care. I don't deny that this goes beyond my gender identity; I talk openly about it every day, I know I'm neurodivergent.

The question is, don't neurodivergent individuals have the right to have surgery as well??? After all, it's dysphoria that's inflaming a mental health condition I already have!!?

I won't allow myself to be silenced or buried by cisgender norms. I will fight for my surgery, by any means it may come.

I KNOW I'm neurodivergent, but I don't have a diagnosis because the psychiatry team doesn't give us diagnoses easily, but it's always easy to incapacitate us and say that we need to "recover from the crisis" before addressing the root cause of the damn crisis.

If I'm not neurodivergent and my crises are exacerbated by dysphoria caused by the need for mastectomy, I DEMAND, at a minimum: the mastectomy.

Now, if I'm neurodivergent and I have a mental condition BEYOND gender identity, I DEMAND my diagnosis and an ACCURATE assessment so that I have a basis for what exactly I'm recovering from, what my condition is, and what rights I have!

Furthermore, I still demand my mastectomy ANYWAY, because it's my right as a transgender person! After all, dysphoria inflames the inherent condition of whatever is affecting my mental health!

You can help me by sharing my case or donating to my mastectomy campaign through PayPal (US donations) (email: kaleomendesm@gmail.com), donations in BRL through the link https://campanhadobem.com.br/campanhas/mastectomia-e-consultas-do-kaleo

[kdaisies]

On November 1st, I was feeling very bad, but now I'm calmer to share what happened. Recently, I went through another heavy bout of depression. Suicidal thoughts and even attempts, along with a lot of sadness, despair, and so on.

One thing that doesn't make sense is that everything in my life was fine. My only trigger had been a comment from my own son that left me extremely dysphoric. So, I continued my therapy at Casulo (the transgender outpatient clinic in my city) as usual, being honest and open with the professionals there during this delicate time, which coincided with the rib injury I suffered from wearing a binder. Even though I was depressed, I stayed strong in therapy, attending regularly, following the psychiatrist's recommendations to bring my partner for dialogue, and I even started a campaign to raise funds for my surgery. This gave me a boost, and I managed to climb out of the pit, even though my psychiatrist increased my medication dosage.

With the donated money, I was even able to have my first private consultation with the mastologist. As I mentioned before, I had given up on the public health system (SUS) after they lost my medical records from UREDIPE (the former outpatient clinic), and I spent ANOTHER YEAR at Casulo with the count of time RESET.

However, my hopes of getting surgery through SUS were revived last week when, during a consultation with the endocrinologist at the Casulo project, he started the referral process for me to go to Jean Bittar.

I filled out an anamnesis and did the same with the psychologist. When I asked the endocrinologist if he thought I could still have my surgery this year, he said it was VERY LIKELY. He added that on the 1st of the month, I should go to an appointment with the psychiatrist to obtain the last necessary assessment, and then it would be with the social services (to be referred to Jean Bittar). Obviously, I was SUPER HAPPY, thinking that I was going to get my surgery through SUS!!!

I don't know if you can understand how delicate it is to give someone with a dream hope. Especially a dream that directly relates to my mental health, given that the need for this surgery causes me to have very low lows, to become extremely depressed, and to desire to give up on my life!!! These were the hopes that were given to me.

I was so confident that I would have the surgery through SUS that, perhaps those who follow me have noticed, I reduced the promotion of my campaign.

On the 1st, however, when I went to the Casulo project (I had a routine appointment with a psychologist, and theoretically, I was ONLY going to do an anamnesis with the psychiatrist to get my assessment), everything went wrong.

Basically, the argument I heard was that the psychology and psychiatry team understood that I "had just come out of a crisis" and therefore I "needed to get better a little more" before being referred to Jean Bittar (the hospital that performs mastectomies).

You see, as I said, the reason for my crisis was a trigger that made me feel dysphoric. It was dysphoria that made me feel bad, it was the lack of respect and responsibility with MY DOCUMENTS when I was at UREDIPE, it was MY NEED TO HAVE SURGERY that seemed extremely distant.

How could I get better from what hurts before being able to get better from what hurts?? It doesn't make sense. I feel dysphoria about my chest, and this operation is an urgent need that is being neglected and affecting my mental health, but they consider that I FIRST have to get better mentally to have the surgery (????) Obviously, I gave myself the right not to stay in the Casulo office under the extremely stressful conditions that have made me go through this ONCE AGAIN.

The SESPA (the State Department of Health of Pará) should investigate my situation because at this moment, it felt easier to end my life completely; it was my support network that got me back on track!

Even if this "get better a little more" innocently refers to a few weeks, it still shattered someone's expectations in a CRUEL way. I sincerely felt driven to madness, and I left there desolate without even getting to talk to the psychiatrist.

To be honest, I don't even feel like GOING BACK TO CASULO!! Everything is an illusion. A lie. It seems that no one from SESPA or the Government of Pará really cares about the transgender population. We have to accept everything silently and pretend that everything is fine!

How can one stabilize after going through all the necessary consultations at UREDIPE, having my data lost, restarting the count at Casulo, having yet another year of regular follow-up, and finally, after all this time, being referred, only to be told that I "need to stabilize" first????

It's unfeasible. I don't deny the need for psychiatric and psychological care. I don't deny that this goes beyond my gender identity; I talk openly about it every day, I know I'm neurodivergent.

The question is, don't neurodivergent individuals have the right to have surgery as well??? After all, it's dysphoria that's inflaming a mental health condition I already have!!?

I won't allow myself to be silenced or buried by cisgender norms. I will fight for my surgery, by any means it may come.

I KNOW I'm neurodivergent, but I don't have a diagnosis because the psychiatry team doesn't give us diagnoses easily, but it's always easy to incapacitate us and say that we need to "recover from the crisis" before addressing the root cause of the damn crisis.

If I'm not neurodivergent and my crises are exacerbated by dysphoria caused by the need for mastectomy, I DEMAND, at a minimum: the mastectomy.

Now, if I'm neurodivergent and I have a mental condition BEYOND gender identity, I DEMAND my diagnosis and an ACCURATE assessment so that I have a basis for what exactly I'm recovering from, what my condition is, and what rights I have!

Furthermore, I still demand my mastectomy ANYWAY, because it's my right as a transgender person! After all, dysphoria inflames the inherent condition of whatever is affecting my mental health!

You can help me by sharing my case or donating to my mastectomy campaign through PayPal (US donations) (email: kaleomendesm@gmail.com), donations in BRL through the link https://campanhadobem.com.br/campanhas/mastectomia-e-consultas-do-kaleo

[kdaisies]

Hello, my name is Kaleo Mendes. I am a transgender person (transmasc), and I have been undergoing hormone therapy for approximately 3 years. Right now, I am experiencing rib pain due to an injury caused by wearing a binder. I confess to you, I can't take it anymore.

I live in Belém (Amazon) - Pará/ Brazil. I have been receiving care through the public health system (SUS) for years, here, transgender individuals need to wait for 2 years to be referred to the gender affirmation surgery queue.

However, the place where I was being treated moved to another clinic, and many medical records were lost due to administrative irresponsibility, forcing me to endure two more years living with the discomfort of chest dysphoria and all the painful injuries I incur from binding.

Believe me, I don't wear a binder because I want to. Flattening my chest is infinitely less suffering than the psychological pain of not doing so. I need help. I constantly feel short of breath, experience heat to the point of dizziness, my ribs are injured, and I have tape burn marks. My posture is ruined, and I have no desire to leave my house...

How can I work, study, and continue my life with physical and mental health in this condition? Currently, I am pursuing a specialization at Federal University of Pará and I have faith that I will progress to a master's degree (waiting results). However, the anxiety of exposing myself in public spaces while feeling uncomfortable with my appearance has hindered me and affected my performance.

Previously, I tried to start a fundraiser to raise funds for my mastectomy, but before reaching the total amount, my dog developed cancer, and I had to pay for her medications (fortunately, I had the support of a friend who sponsored her treatment).

This meant that I decided to talk to the people who supported me at that time (I knew all of them) and ask them to redirect those funds to save her life. I was devastated, but I put it aside and decided to endure the binder for a while longer.

But now, all of this has become IMPOSSIBLE. I genuinely NEED help; I just want to have the minimum of health and comfort with my body. Please, if you can help me, I beg you... my mental health has been deteriorating even though I am already taking psychiatric medication.

I don't think I can continue in this condition... I want to give up. This is the link to de BRL CAMPAIGN:

https://campanhadobem.com.br/campanhas/mastectomia-e-consultas-do-kaleo

I am not a scammer; I am just one more transgender person begging for help to stay alive in the country that kills the most transgender people in the world. That's who I am:

LATTES CURRICULUM (ACADEMIC CURRICULUM FROM CNPQ) : http://lattes.cnpq.br/1315688602818108

LINKEDIN PROFILE AND CURRICULUM: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaleo-mendes-469034231/

I am also a writer of books with LGBTQIA+ representation. You can verify the authenticity of my information through my pinned tweet on twitter (X):

HOW TO DONATE:

Paypal e-mail: kaleomendesm@gmail.com

Remessa On-line: Use "Wire Transfer" mode Banco Beneficiário: Banco Topazio S/A Código SWIFT: TOPZBRRSXXX IBAN: BR7607679404000000293025720C1 Titular da Conta: Kaleo Mendes De Melo Da Rocha Endereço: Rua 18 de Novembro, 273 - Porto Alegre - RS, 90240-040 Banco Intermediário: Standard Chartered Bank Código SWIFT: SCBLUS33 Titular da Conta: Banco Topazio S/A Número da Conta: 3544026839001 Endereço: New York, USA

Please... Idk how to say it anymore... how to beg... I just want to fell ok...

There some pictures of the happyest day of my life, the day that I graduate... Those are my partner and my son...

help

[kdaisies]

hi! i hope you’re having a good night! i was wondering what the significance of crowleys blue shirt and red tie in the 1941 flashbacks mean? they usually wear all black, so i was just wondering if it meant something :)

It meant that Crowley was not going to let anyone mistake him for a Blackshirt during WW2.

[kdaisies]

[kdaisies]

[kdaisies]

Oi Kaleo, bom dia. Gostaria de saber quando a revisão dos últimos capítulos ficarão prontas. Isso pq eu preciso ter o livro revisado pra mandar pra pessoa que vai fazer a leitura sensível, e não posso ficar segurando a grana pra isso por muito tempo. Tenho que aproveitar que tenho dinheiro agora, pois como eu moro sozinha, eu sei que não vou poder segurar por muito tempo pois casa sempre exige gastos a mais, às vezes de forma imprevisível. Eu sei que eu não te dei um prazo, e é pq eu realmente não o tenho. Mas preciso do texto revisado por questões financeiras, até pq eu preciso te pagar tmbm então tenho que aproveitar o momento que não estou apertada de grana.

oi bem, libera o acesso ao arquivo pra mim pfv

[kdaisies]

"We were supposed to have our own side..."

I'm thinking about making prints of this drawing 👀