kay-law

[kay-law]

hey lawblr community, how the heck did y’all survive working full time and studying for the bar at the same time? currently i’m working monday thru friday 7-3, and then doing bar prep 4-8, and then studying saturday and sunday 8-10 and it feels like so much???

[kay-law]

tue // 21 apr

lots of cathartic note taking today to stem this bout of anxiety that crept out of nowhere. i woke up at 4 a.m. and have been up since, so hopefully i can sleep tonight. it doesn’t help that i’m also worried about not being able to correct my sleeping schedule before i return to work in a couple of weeks…

did some plasmid component review including a deeper study of the lac operon because i didn’t pay attention in genetics class ever and now need it for a living. whoops. it was tough to concentrate this morning because my neighbor was doing yard work the entire time, but i powered through and actually learned a lot!!

also did some spotify hunting and came upon frederic rzewski’s the people united. i highly recommend it especially if you have any inclination towards 20th century american classical music, and the sociopolitical context behind his pieces is also worth diving into! gotta love the intersection of politics and classical music ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ

[kay-law]

I’ve now finished all of my law school classes, and on May 9, 2020 I will be conferred my JD. I made it.

Endless thanks for the love and support I’ve received in the three years since I originally made this post. So so many of you have reached out to me over the years with similar struggles, sharing your own stories of success, and of shortcoming. This community has been a second home to me for many years now, and I am so grateful for all of you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. And to the friends I’ve made here, holy shit we’ve done it y’all. We’re going to be lawyers!

This is something I hope all of my followers and the entire studyblr community will read…

Last year was the hardest year of my life and I did not even notice it until I was out of it. To give a little background, I was 19, and becoming a college senior. I completed my bachelor’s degree with a double major, summa cum laude. I worked two jobs, one retail, one as a tour guide, five days a week, and took seven classes in the fall, and eight in the spring, and six in the summer. By March I had lost 16 pounds, was not eating, not sleeping, and drinking four or more cups of coffee a day. I had a boyfriend, friends, a roommate, I was president of a club, vice president of another, and working as vice president of one club’s international leadership program as one of five student board members across sixty-three countries. I studied for my LSAT, took the exam, and applied to law school. And in August, I will be the youngest person in my law school.

I pushed myself harder and further than I ever imagined, and though I sometimes (often) felt like it, I never cracked, gave up, or even collapsed. I did not always take care of myself, physically, mentally, or emotionally though, and I failed myself there, but I was so driven, so determined, that none of that mattered to me at that moment. I do not regret that or any of the choices I have made, but I pressured myself more than anyone ever has, and more than I ever have. I accomplished unbelievable things, but at an insane cost - my health.

Often in this community I receive messages, and see posts, encouraging you to never give up, and to always push yourself to get that A, pass that test, graduate, or to overcome whatever academic or otherwise challenges you are facing. Almost daily I receive messages asking how I do it. “How did you graduate at 20?”, “How do you keep up with all of your commitments?”, and even, “You are so amazing, I could never do it like you do”. But I am here to tell you well, it is not pretty. I went days without eating a meal at times. Days without washing my hair, of wearing the same torn leggings and a hoodie because a grade meant more to me than I meant to myself. I got walking pneumonia at the end of the spring term because I had pushed myself too hard and spent weeks telling myself I could not afford to be sick today, tomorrow, or the next day. I wore myself down so much that I had a doctor literally tell me that now at 20 years old, if I do not tone down the stress and pressure I subject myself to, that I could give myself a stroke. A stroke, 20 years old!

Being a perfectionist, and being so overwhelmingly addicted to my studies, is not glamorous.

I am making this post not to brag about my accomplishments, but because I receive messages daily idolizing me and what I have done. I want everyone to know that this is not easy. Having a dream is hard work, and I have been unfairly hard on myself. Just because you do not see someone’s cracks and scars, does not mean they are not there. I have worked hard, and have earned these things, but I have made sacrifices I would hate to see anyone else make.

In 10 days I move across the country to start law school, and I am terrified that I will allow myself to do this all over again. I am not afraid of the move, or of law school, but of myself and how I talk to myself and treat myself, and the amount of stress and pressure I am willing to apply to myself, without hesitation. In a month I have law school orientation, and have set up a meeting with one of the school’s onsite trauma therapists. I refuse to let myself be my own greatest roadblock. I have to learn to love myself. It is not fair to your body and mind to put grades above yourself. I now full heartedly believe that a grade is not worth your health. I will no longer break my back bending over backwards for an A+. I will no longer let myself go days without food and rest because I want this essay to be perfect, or my presentation to go as planned, second by second. I will allow myself to be happy, well rested, well fed, and healthy. I will love myself, and this is a promise I am making to myself and to all of you, and a promise I hope you all can make to yourselves as well.

I promise.

TLDR; Be dedicated, and determined to get what you want, but do not sacrifice your health, mental, physical, or emotional, for a grade, a diploma, a degree… You are worth so much more than a letter on a piece of paper, and it is okay to sometimes need to hear that. I know I did.

[kay-law]

15.04.18 // Currently reading.

↳ instagram ⇢ expatesque

[kay-law]

ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when ur quarantined at home

[kay-law]

today's journal spread ²⁷/⁰²; i love these quotes.

[kay-law]

reviewing bio and econs

[kay-law]

02.19.20 // hi everyone :)) it’s finally reading week! i’ve been able to spend a lot of time with friends, so that’s been really nice. sometimes you don’t ever realize how much you miss someone until you actually get to spend quality time with them again. i’m a little scared for what the next month is going to bring, because i feel like this week i won’t have a great chance to properly recover before it’s time to work twice as hard again. but it’s all we can do to keep going!!

i’ve recently been working on the manuscript for a poetry chapbook, and it’s been a really great learning experience. i’ve recently just been so in love with poetry as a whole!! this week i’m going to try my best to get everything on my to do list done, but I feel very much like i’m cramming two weeks’ worth of work into one HAHAHA….i wish u all the best with your weeks! let’s get through this one!

ig | yt

[kay-law]

Geography notes on water

My exam came back for this unit and I wanted to scream because I didn’t realise there was another side to the test :( lost 10% because of that hahaha

[kay-law]

07.01.16 My mildliners didn’t arrive in the mail today like they were supposed to. I guess they’ll arrive Sunday. But here’s a picture of my Kipling pencil case and some of my favorite sticky notes from the Target $1 section.

[kay-law]

2020.02.18

I know it’s February already.. but here’s my January spread! Hehe 😉

💌IG: meowtxx

We will be doing a giveaway for our 1k followers! Will be giving away some cute stickers/memo pad/washi tape... Do follow us on IG & stay tune for our giveaway post! 😇❤️

[kay-law]

-Civil law-

[kay-law]

a lil study session in this cute place <3

[kay-law]

Happy international women’s day 💫

[kay-law]

listening to an online lecture on a slow thursday afternoon

[kay-law]

new spread! love these highlighters from daiso! 🌈

[kay-law]

22.7.18 // Warm Sunday🌿

Nothing like curling up in bed with a good read and journaling your thoughts away! Have a dreamy Sunday everyone!��

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