kascintillaaa

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https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

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Treat sleep like a temporary death and every morning like you've been born again.

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“Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.”

— Unknown

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I miss them 💔

“Healers coming through, they’re bleeding you! Wise men coming through, spreading final breath! The good have come to spread disease this time. So cut me open wide. Oh let them purge this thing inside of me. Oh no, it won’t subside! This is where good men die!”

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Am I such an awful person, that friends I hold dear, fall away like dying flies?

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Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

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If you see any videos online of a mentally ill person in public being filmed without their consent, please report it as harassment. Examples include: a video of someone talking to someone who isn't actually there, a video of someone having strange or erratic behaviors, a video of someone speaking gibberish or talking incoherently, etc.

This is a huge violation of the person in the videos privacy and extremely disrespectful. They could be having the worst day of their life. They could be homeless with no support system or access to care, with nowhere else to be but in public. They might not see that you are filming, and have no idea or control over who sees them in a vulnerable state. Please consider the feelings and safety of the people in these videos, they are already going through enough as it is, you don't need to add to their problems by filming, posting, or even just watching these videos.

No one is better than the mentally ill people in these videos. Everyone is capable of having a mental health crisis that leads to strange behavior in public. How would you feel if someone posted your worst moments online for people to laugh at? These are human beings that deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else in the world. Yes, even if they are homeless, or on drugs, or swearing, or dirty, or disturbing the peace of a public area. That is a human being no matter what.

As someone with schizophrenia, it's so disgusting how often I come across videos like that online (yes, even on Tumblr). A lot of these "strange" behaviors that are being filmed are literally just symptoms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia. The person cannot control what they are doing, and might not be aware that it is perceived as strange. It's also important to acknowledge that people with severe and persistent mental illnesses are at an increased risk of violence by others, homelessness, substance use disorders, being arrested, and being involuntarily committed into psychiatric facilities. Alienating us and reinforcing stigma against us can contribute to those risks. It's also worth noting that paranoia is a symptom of schizophrenia, and knowing that people are willing to film us in public to ridicule us at our vulnerable moments is extremely paranoia inducing. This can cause us to fear going out in public, which leads to isolation, which makes the symptoms of schizophrenia worse.

There is so much risk associated with the filming, posting and viewing of these videos. Plus it further dehumanizes a disenfranchised minority. Is it really worth it? Is the few seconds of "entertainment" really worth all this distress you are causing?

If you want to advocate for mentally ill people, or even just care at all, you must stop this from happening. Don't film people in public without their consent. Don't post videos of people in public without their consent. Don't like, share or comment on videos of people in public filmed without their consent, it just boosts it in the algorithm. Report any instances of this that you see, even if you think "this one's not that bad" or "the person doesn't seem distressed in this one" or "okay but this one is actually funny", no excuses, report it.

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A poem for all of the beautiful souls that are no longer with us...

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"We're not attention seekers, we're social creatures."

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Reach Out

To realise you need

Other folk is braver

Than thinking you need nobody

Do yourself a favour

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Rhiannon + reacting to her kills. SWEETPEA (2024)

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— Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

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Psychosis and the Harm of Media Misrepresentation: A Personal Reflection on Hallucinations and the Need for Accurate Portrayals

Movies like The Sixth Sense have distorted the way people view psychosis, turning it into a joke to repeat over and over again. The "I see dead people" line is used to ridicule and trivialise what is a reality for a lot of people with illnesses like schizophrenia.

One of my first hallucinations was that of my late best friend, back when I was about sixteen years old; I'd see her under my computer table, in my bedroom and at first she would just sit there and stare at me and then she'd begin to cry and that quickly escalated to countless taunts, for no reason, to make me feel bad about something that wasn't my fault. She convinced me it WAS my fault.

I've heard other voices of people who have passed away, people that were dear to me and even people that I knew briefly. It led to me dreading that people close to me or people I barely knew would die because I believed they'd haunt me. I was somehow chosen by them - it was my fault they were dead. It really makes you feel like the main character in a horror movie that never ends.

Now I mostly hear voices I don’t recognise, and the quality of these voices differ depending on external factors. Sometimes it sounds like a crowd in my head, mostly unintelligible and difficult to decipher. Other times, I can understand what the voices say, though they’re usually harmless at best and annoying, at worst. I'm fortunate to have a solid support system and that my medication helps to keep me stable.

I highly appreciate it when portrayals of schizophrenia and psychosis in movies and television dramas - while I’m fully aware is fictional - accurately depict psychotic experiences, as they are invaluable for raising awareness. It can open minds and, if it resonates with someone, potentially encourage them to seek the help they need. On the other hand, it can be incredibly difficult to watch these depictions play out, onscreen, as it resurfaces old feelings in myself and what psychosis has put me through. But if it wasn't, in part, for these portrayals then I'd have never accepted there was anything wrong with me and would've continued on a destructive path; in denial, completely untethered from reality.

It's vital to seek out a mental health professional via your GP if you're experiencing symptoms like this; it can worsen dramatically if left untreated.

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“Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.”

— Nikita Gill

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So true.

It's constantly being shown that I shouldn't let my guard down for anyone.

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Ready or Not 2019 | dir. Tyler Gillett, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin