kartofthekasha

[kartofthekasha]

Dead Weight

Nimue shivered as the chilly aetheryte plaza of Foundation snapped into reality around her. Thankfully there was still some time before dawn, and anyone with a lick of sense was still huddling within the warmth of their homes. Very few were present to see her foolishness. Swallowing the dissipating tang in her mouth from the teleportation magic, she briskly left the plaza and headed towards the front gates of the overbearing city, silently cursing her impulsiveness with each step.

She had decided to teleport here within moments of the thought, before she could lose her nerve. There were things she needed to do, to say, and she had already been running from them for too long. However, it meant she had 'ported to one of the coldest regions in Eorzea while wearing a shoulderless leather number she had enjoyed the night before. Now it was unforgiving and the fish net stockings she wore with it were a pale imitation of what she should have worn. 

I made my bed, she thought to herself as she desperately rubbed her hands together. She tried so hard to shut out the biting weather and, focus damn it!

 .

There it was. A small ball of ethereal flame cupped within her palms. She clutched it to her breast, sighing in relief as warmth began to envelope her form. It meant she was able to approach the gate guard with some sort of respectability.

~*~*~

It felt like it took forever to get there. One of the longest walks of her life - second only to her lonely walk at the edge of the universe. The climb to face that broken creation had promised a resolution, an ending. She hadn't cared if she died.

That was less frightening than living. 

After a few pauses to rekindle her cloaking spell, she had finally reached his Last Vigil. The ice crusted grave of Haurchefant Greystone stood watch over the city that had despised him - that he had loved in spite of it all. It had learned to embrace him only after it was too late. 

Nimue closed her eyes against the wind, more so at the flood of memories from that day. The false faces, the cards of mourning society required of them, and the broken face of a father; of Count Fortemps as he passed her the shield of a son she had failed to save. 

She soon found herself crossing the distance that remained. She lowered herself on shaky legs and delicately, as if it would bite her, placed a hand on his humble monument. She felt the cascade of warmth as she willed her cloak to flow over his tombstone, melting away ice and fresh snow both. The lettering is so sharp and harsh, unbefitting of his gentle demeanor. The snow drift selfishly hording his broken shield sank away revealing a scratched and tarnished surface to the star. 

After righting the ornament and seeing this duty done, she quickly recoiled and withdrew a few steps back from the grave - until her shadow cast by the rising sun no longer shrouded the stone. The tears she had been shoving back since she left the city resurged, threatening to blind her pale lavender eyes. 

"I know you're not here," Nimue finally managed to choke out, standing on that frozen cliff. She lowered her head slightly, biting back a sob before once more speaking to the wind that clawed at her magic. "I know that was you when I was traveling through the great sea. Bombarded by specters, and once again you came." Her voice steadily rose and rose. All of the grief, and pain, and anger coming to bear on that stoic piece of rock. "That's three times now, twice in death you have protected me! As if mocking my failure." 

Her hands balled into fists, nails stabbing into her palms. The tears had won the war and streamed down her face with impunity. 

"HOW COULD YOU?!"

Nimue's roar echoed around her.

Even as that surge of vitriol had poured out of her, she knew better. She knew deep down that the manifestations and phenomenon - following her all the way to that stage at the edge of nothing - were nothing less than proof of how deeply he had cared for her in life.

It made it so much worse.

The dam broke. Her leather clad knees dropped like sandbags into the snow as she wrapped her arms around herself, wailing in her sorrow. Hunched over that white blanket, tears and spit drizzled from her face but she didn't care. There was no one to impress and perform for here. No one to wear a mask for. 

On and on she cried, ignorant to the passing of time, until her voice was broken and hoarse from the strain. The pain finally outweighs the catharsis of her weeping. Her cloak spell was forgotten, her lips and cheeks quickly became chapped. Frost clung to her eyelashes. 

She knelt in silence for an age, eyes boring into the offending rock before her. It wasn't until she had to physically peel the ice from her cheek that she became keenly aware of her error, and willed her cloak into place to thaw herself out.

Nimue slowly rose to stand once more on her wobbly stems. A shattering sound filled her ears as she broke a glamour at her neck and ripped away the piece of jewelry it had concealed. A long leather cord dangled freely from her grasp, and in her palm sat his mother's ring. 

"I can't stay here," she quietly croaked to herself. "I cannot continue to live here." She sounded a little sterner this time, as if berating herself with what little bit of a voice she had left. Nimue took a shaky step forward towards the tombstone. Two. Three. It was like trudging through molasses. 

"I have to close this door. Find some way to suture this wound," she rasped as she knelt before the grave one last time. Tears blurred her vision as she barely managed a whisper, "As much as I wish it had been with you, I deserve to find happiness. "

Nimue lowered the ring reverently to rest at a place of honor beside the shield, kissed her frost bitten fingertips, and pressed them to the stone as she stood with new found resolve. She said nothing else as she turned and started down the path, leaving behind his shield, his ring, and her chains.

[kartofthekasha]

[kartofthekasha]

okay but seriously

when i want a hug what i really want is a Ghibli hug.

because i mean-

Ghibli

Hugs

Look

Like

The 

Greatest

Hugs

in the WORld

[kartofthekasha]

*cough*

So uh... Hi, I am back. There’s been some ups and downs.

Had a wild ride playing WoW up until BfA came out. Found out about the huge layoff after record profits. So, Blizzard isn’t getting any money from me in the future. They were already kind of circling the drain anyway? But, whatever. Putting my money where my mouth is. I was looking forward to the Remastered Warcraft + Classic servers too...

Then my Dad passed away and I withdrew from things pretty hard in my grief. I’m still working through my grief as one does. I have legal shenanigans about 85% taken care of at this point. Hey if you’re a young adult, you need to have the hard talk with your parents about if they have a will and have paperwork together in an easy to find location.  Otherwise you get to be a broken mess, going through their things, all in the name of trying to find important paperwork to get things taken care of. And that’s before having to worry about cleaning out their residence.

These days I am not up to much.  I started actively participating in the Steam Powered Giraffe fandom this year - mainly hanging out in their Patreon Discord. It’s a smaller group so it’s easier to keep up with and not get lost in the Sea of Text.

Roughly a month ago I started playing Final Fantasy XIV. I’m on NA > Primal > Lamia. I’ll probably post screenshots here soon.

I’m still SoLavellan trash. Looking forward to reading everyone’s new predictions while we wait for DA4!

[kartofthekasha]

James Norrington did nothing wrong. His only crime was being a Jane Austen hero in a Disney movie based on a theme park ride.

[kartofthekasha]

[kartofthekasha]

people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that?

me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it’s called manners, susan.

[kartofthekasha]

EGG, NO You’re not gonna fool us, we all know that you are bald nerdy hobo, so get off that poor dog

[kartofthekasha]

Humans in Space are surprisingly safe

When Aliens first got access to human ships the thing that surprised them most was the sheer number of safety systems on board. Surely a species as tough as humans would not need to be protected from anything? But everywhere they checked they found multiple failsafes, safety protocols, and safety nets protecting everything from the weapons system to the coffee machine. Some of these systems were so specific they wondered why or how the humans had come up with them and why they spent the effort fitting them to their ships. Their questions were answered when humans first started working on an alien ship. Within the first month the human crew members had: Burned themselves Stabbed themselves “Strategically amputated” an arm (then reattached it without much fuss) Spaced themselves on more than one occasion Been electrocuted by the food despenser Exploded four computer terminals And secretly grown a cat in one of the science labs After that the Aliens sent a request to the human council for a copy of their safety protocols And also learnt the meaning of the term “idiot proofing”

[kartofthekasha]

“Solas” means “pride” in elvish

Solas is wise and friends with spirits of Wisdom

Corrupted spirits of Wisdom are Pride demons

Pride demons have multiple eyes

The black wolf Solas is depicted with on his Tower card has multiple eyes

I don’t think these things are coincidences

[kartofthekasha]

But I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t count on being happy. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

[kartofthekasha]

[kartofthekasha]

Warden: I just want to save the world…. go home……. take a nap for two decades……….. pet a few dogs maybe……..

Hawke: I’ve known those people for two hours but if anything happened to them i’d kill everyone in this city and then myself

Inquisitor: what the fuck. What the fuck. WHAT the fuck. What the FUCK. wHAT THE FUCK!! What in the fuck! Is going on!!

[kartofthekasha]

Hello everyone 😊 I couldn’t not draw him whenever I had some free time I am so happy 😱 and excited what’s gonna happen in a next game omg

[kartofthekasha]

I knew this looked familiar. Watched Pride and Prejudice last night.

Art by https://www.deviantart.com/jasminealexandra

[kartofthekasha]

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

[kartofthekasha]

some random mass effect thoughts while I start my replay of me3

- I’d never played lair of the shadow broker before and let me tell you… the cackle I gave at Shepard deadass decking the yagh straight in the face probably woke my neighbours. she saw that elephant-sized creature of malice and rage and went “well Liara told me to punch it, guess I’ll go for it”. never change Shep. never change. (reminded me of hawke socking the profane – an actual heap of sentient rock – on the jaw. he’s such a disaster I love him so much)

also I love that at least twice a paragon interrupt is smacking someone in the face. ah diplomacy 

- my kingdom for a dlc where you play as someone working under garrus while he’s doing his stint as highly respected reaper expert between me2 and me3 and slowly realizing he spends his downtime watching human romcoms and reading romance novels with a serious unerring focus, taking notes all the while. what a wonderful nerd. truly the perfect man/two meter tall space raptor cat thing. listen honey you don’t need to research human courtship patterns she loves you just the way you are ;__________;

- it is a crime that vega doesn’t get together with cortez if you don’t romance him. their banter is so playful and vaguely homoerotic, this is false advertising bioware

- I’ve actually done all three games on Insanity now! (relatedly…f u c k  the collector ship lol) also I always forget just how much better the gameplay feels in 3, it’s the only one where I’m actively looking forwards to getting into combat

- this replay is making me ever sadder that andromeda wasn’t the space western I wanted and, frankly, deserve. I love this universe so much and they used a johnny cash song for the trailer and actually THIS is false advertising bioware

- there’s something very enjoyable with how well my headcanon for Shepard’s character development between games fits with how they get increasingly more human and specific with her writing as the series goes on. basically my Shep starts out as like… fundamentally kind and righteous and the full paragon deal but slightly emotionally distant (probably from that whole ‘losing everyone she’s ever loved at 16′ thing lol) and slowly becomes more and more open and warm and approachable as the found family of the normandy thaws her out. (she sounds so young when she talks to anderson near the beginning ;____; space dad pls don’t make us leave you behind)