k1dneybeans

[k1dneybeans]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[k1dneybeans]

when I was like 15, a drunk woman I didn’t know at a party who was smoking a cigarette on the porch started randomly opening up to me about her infertility journey and I told her how I was my parents rainbow baby after multiple miscarriages and fertility treatments said not to lose hope. she comforted me about being a strange kid without many friends my age (hence why I was at a party full of adults thrown by my uncle) and told me everything would work out eventually. the next time I saw her like 2 years later (small town, mutual friends) she was carrying her newborn. I think about that a lot. it’s easy to feel disconnected from people and but sometimes just talking to them and hearing their point of view and relating makes you feel less alone. even if you’re only each other’s company for a few moments.

[k1dneybeans]

my observation from 2 months of kittens

[k1dneybeans]

snow art by british cartographer simon beck

[k1dneybeans]

doomed siblings harleyberts, anyone?

[k1dneybeans]

the xbox is a Machine. the playstation is a Device. the switch is a Toy. the personal computer is also a Machine. what the world needs, is a way to play video games on a Contraption

[k1dneybeans]

oh hp deskjet 2710e we're really in it now

[k1dneybeans]

[k1dneybeans]

fuji safari park

[k1dneybeans]

pretty girls called Uw factuur staat klaar are messaging me

[k1dneybeans]

stone and rock are like bouba and kiki

these are stones

these are rocks

[k1dneybeans]

How do they choose which sand to be the glass and which sand to be the sand in an hourglass... Imagine you and your best friend were two grains of sand and you had to be in the hourglass and your bestie had to be the glass. Ur together but youve never been more apart. A Sick and twisted practice hourglassery is...

[k1dneybeans]

for those who don't know:

4/13 - john and jane's birthdays, homestuck's anniversary, reoccurring number

6/12 - karkat's birthday, hivebent's anniversary, reoccurring number

8/8 - vriska day

9/14 - hiveswap's anniversary

10/25 - 4/13+6/12, cascade's anniversary, reoccurring number, homestuck end date (credits), rosemary wedding day

11/11 - act 6 anniversary, crockercorp number, when hiveswap A1 takes place, reoccurring number

12/1 - jade and jake’s birthday

12/3 - dave and dirk's birthday

12/4 - rose and roxy's birthday

2/2 - sollux day

3/14 - inverse/evil homestuck day

[k1dneybeans]

*sees american suburban house* wow… just like in breaking bad..

[k1dneybeans]

HEY

I COME HERE TO SAY THAT JADE AND DAVE ARE HATSUNE MIKU'S BIGGEST FANS

[k1dneybeans]

I’m aware in my head that there’s no fundamental difference between a recycling bin and a garbage can other than their labelling. But some part of me still thinks they’re different. Like I struggle with the concept that a recycling bin with a recycling symbol which is being used as a garbage can is okay to put normal garbage in.