justtrying-studyblog

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New Year, New Obstacles & the Never Ending Flow of Time

I have this feeling that time is getting faster and faster with each year. As a kid, every year seemed to drag on, but now I can barely keep up! I don't think I will do a formal review of last year, other than calling it "The Year of Three". I mean, I attended three universities, felt like I was living three separate years (and yet time was so speedy), and traveled to three new states/countries.

But that's behind me. Now I have my eyes set on new goals, new challenges, and new classes! I'll start with my intention for this year.

This year is a year of outward growth. I feel confident in the roots I planted in the 2020s and am ready to branch out (lots of tree metaphors this year, bear with me). I'm looking to try new things, be more social and push myself to do those scary things.

I am already succeeding and am so proud of myself! I have hung out and organized events with people throughout January and am not stopping there. I have started the horrid process of online dating, hoping that someone will work out, at least for a bit. I also am in the process of organizing my study abroad for next semester (more on that, I'm sure, in its own post).

As for new classes, I'm diving into my actual major/minor studies now. I'm taking Critical Thinking, Politics and the Law, Intro to Political Inquiry, Scene Study, Persuasion, and even Piano! I'm a little overwhelmed by the amount of reading I have to do, but I find everything so interesting that it's easy to power through (most of the time).

I am also in a juggling act of work and school. I have been mainly working opens which is like 5a, and then I go to class and hang out with friends. If high school me could see me now, she'd be so impressed.

Finally, I'm training for a triathlon. Inspired by Bondi Beach (yes, the show about lifeguards), I'm training to do a Sprint Triathlon, and my goal for the year is to complete a full one. I started the week after Thanksgiving and am struggling a little with motivation, but I am really proud of the improvement I have already made. Like, I find myself eager to work out and go for a bike, run or even swim! My endurance has gone up like crazy, and I really do feel better about myself (except for the guilt of not working out some days). I hate to say it, but all those people who told you working out is the solution, and it makes you feel better, they are telling the truth. I know, I know. It's the worst.

Yesterday I also went to a science museum with a friend and now I am having a little internal debacle if I should switch to studying to work at NASA or something, but that's for another day.

My point is this year is going to be my year because I'm going to make it my year! I'm done hoping everything will change through sheer willpower and manifesting. Because as much as those can help, I know that I have to put in the work. I'm excited about everything that is happening in my life and it is only January. I'm sure I'm going to come back on here and have an existential rant, but I know that I'm on the right path right now, and that's all that matters.

Whatever you are facing right now, I urge you to stop waiting and start doing. It's hard, it sucks and it can be a painful process, but the reward is worth it. YOU are worth it!!

Thank you for listening to my directionless, stream-of-thought rant. I love you guys and as always ✨stay safe and do the work, it'll help✨

[justtrying-studyblog]

The Importance of Being Earnest

As a part of my Scene Study class, I had to read "The Importance of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde for the first time, and can I say I was pleasantly surprised! The sheer hilarity of everything in that play was baffling and so wildly entertaining!

Spoilers ahead (can you spoil a play that's been out for over a century?)

Can we just talk about the fact that these two men were both pretending to be called Earnest for whatever reason? Earnest! A name that literally means being truthful, both of which were not being. Then the twist that they were, in fact, telling the truth! At least Jack. I'm pretty sure Algernon was never truthful, but he was delightful! I, too, would stuff my face with muffins when under duress if given the opportunity to.

Then you get to the two younger female characters and their reliance on being with these boys. And the rollercoaster of their relationship! You could definitely look at the two characters and point out how wishy-washy they are about their morals with the guys. Still, it's just pure comedy how they promised to stay silent and ignore them after the truth was revealed, and then they immediately talked with the boys. Amazing timing; they don't make things like this anymore.

Then we get to Jack's past. Like, he was left in a handbag, okay sure, but then it was revealed that he was mistakenly placed in there because Miss Prism thought he was her manuscript. Like babies move and don't feel like stacks of paper (in my experience, at least). How do you make a mistake like that! It's absurd, it's hilarious, and I want more!

Of course, I must bring up the quick tangent about them being truthful. Because they go through this whole reveal, it shows that Jack was never really lying. He was seeing his brother in town; his name was Earnest, but he did not know that. Truth can be defined as the validity of a statement (how it holds up with reality), but it is a mere subjective value. We place our own truth on statements. Yes, there are objectively true statements (the sky is blue, 1+1=2, etc.), but Jack thought he was lying. He knew he was deceiving someone. He did not know that what he was saying was actually true. Therefore, he was never telling the truth. He just got lucky.

These are just my initial thoughts on this play. I had to tell someone. I'm going to be working on it in class, though, and choosing a character and some scenes to delve into, and I might come back with more thoughts on that (no promises, you should know better than the expectation from me). For now, I'm gonna urge everyone to read this play. If you google the name with pdf, a free version comes up; if not, here's the link to the one I read. http://www.jacneed.com/ASYD/Earnest/the_importance_of_being_earnest.pdf

Please check it out and let me know what you think. It is a quick read, a dedicated hour or so. Also, let me know any adaptations or interpretations of characters you like; I would love to read/watch it!

*side note, in finding the gif for this post, I realized there is a movie adaptation and yes, I will be watching it!

[justtrying-studyblog]

I have to read Machiavelli’s ‘The Prince’ for class and god does this man just talk. He’ll literally say the most outrageously barbaric thing and then be like here’s a list of all these people who did this wrong. And then he’ll say, well let me be clear and upfront and say the most convoluted, 4d chess nonsense I have ever read. At least Marxism had was legible. Hell even Rousseau!

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At my first class of the semester, wish me luck!

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Just a little reminder that because it's a last day/night of this year so many people will post about their accomplishments or achievements but here I'm telling you that even if the only thing you did this year was to survive then I'm so proud of you and you did so many things for that.

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Just finished my finals! Gonna probably give a little update later on, but for now I’m gonna lay down and forget about anything school related!

[justtrying-studyblog]

bring back the habits that made you happy as a child. there’s no reason you should ever have to give up harmless things that bring you joy. you don’t have to age out of having fun. finger paint. write mediocre fanfiction and questionable poetry. put chocolate chips in your waffles. sing in the bath, and while working in the yard, and while washing your hands. hammer tunelessly on a piano. spin in circles until you fall down. climb a tree. just because you’re now in charge of your life doesn’t mean you’re expected to give up on the things that make life feel worth living

[justtrying-studyblog]

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

— Maya Angelou

[justtrying-studyblog]

you know what’s really fun and in style right now? being kind and making others feel loved and valued

[justtrying-studyblog]

The Leaves Aren't the Only Things Changing

As the air turns crisper and the snow starts to stick, here I am again for another college life update! Life has been getting better. I'm deep into my school routine, and the semester is almost over. I have already finished two classes and am in that pre-thanksgiving stretch. It's gonna be a rollercoaster after thanksgiving break, so I'm just preparing myself.

My schedule was crammed and hectic, but after a trip to the east coast in late October, I found myself having something that I thought I had lost; free time. Seriously, I'll just be sitting in my bed wondering what I am supposed to do when I'm not bouncing between assignments to class to work and repeating each day. But that is to say that I love the ability to think and not stress. I have even started having hobbies again!

This semester has already taught me invaluable lessons. First off, trust yourself. If you know it's gonna be a lot on your plate beforehand, listen to that! I had a big fight with my dad before the semester over the stress of attending two colleges at once and working +20 hours a week, and I should've known that I knew myself best, not him. However, I did overcome that and survived that phase, but I know not to do that again.

I also learned to take a little time each day to study rather than days off and cramming the day before something is due. Before my aforementioned trip to the east coast, I had to work ahead on some assignments. I didn't realize how relaxing it can be to be ahead in class and know that if I need a day off (which sometimes I really did), I would not be behind or stressed to catch up. Doing a little every day allows you to have assignments done before the due date and gives you a buffer for unforeseen circumstances. I'm actually updating this blog cause I worked so far ahead, and I have nothing to do till my math class in 30 mins.

I also learned that one bad grade isn't the end of the world. This one is a more recent lesson. On my first chem exam back from my trip, I only got a 68%. That grade hurt so much, but I've learned that one bad grade does not define my ability as a person, and it will not destroy my grade. It just shows that I need more attention on those topics, and frankly, I'm still doing well in Chem.

Finally, make sure you have a social outlet outside of work and school. I didn't realize how tired I was of seeing my class friends, work friends, and family. I needed someone else to break up that environmental routine. I started doing a weekly movie night with one of my friends, and honestly, those are the highlight of my week. It has helped so much to see someone in an environment where I don't have to think about school or work.

Overall, this semester has been highkey amazing. I have loved being back in school. Yeah, sometimes are stressful, and finding that routine is a work in progress, but I love every minute of it.

Well, I've gotta go learn some algebra, so as always ✨stay safe, and hang on, it's gonna work out✨

[justtrying-studyblog]

Views like this make studying easier

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Sunday Studies & Wishing for a Day Off

Well, I've just finished a weird rush of a week. With three exams, one paper, and a breakdown almost every day, it was a hard week. But we got through it! In typical me fashion, I put off writing a paper until the very last minute (partially because I was busy with other assignments, partially because I have little interest in the topic). So, this weekend I became the expert on Nike in China (or at least, good enough on it).

I also had to cram for a chem final that I was way too over-confident for; seriously, I had to learn the entire unit today cause my practice exam score was horrendous.

Today was my first day off since the school year started. I had no work and no school. My original plan was to ring in the new season (fall is officially here!!) with a beautiful mountain hike, admiring all the fall colors. Unfortunately, I spent over 8 hours just catching up on homework. And I mean catching up, not getting ahead, or doing anything that doesn't have a due date past today. It was awful.

I keep rethinking my week and where I could've squeezed in a couple more hours to study, but I'm kinda drawing a blank. I do have a self-proclaimed rule that I don't do homework past 9p. It's just not good for anyone. This weekend is making me reconsider. When I leave school at 1:40, get home around 2:15, and leave for work in the next hour, I don't exactly have time to study between eating and taking time to recharge (major introvert). It's back to the drawing board to figure out where I can squeeze in more study time (maybe if I just live at school and only commute to work every day?).

But it is past 9p now, and yes, I do count a study blog as part of the studying umbrella (especially after 8 hours of studying on my "day off"). So, as always ✨stay safe and try to find some wiggle room✨

[justtrying-studyblog]

“And all at once, Summer collapsed into Fall”

—Oscar Wilde

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Falling into Routine & Autumnal Attitudes

Somehow, I've made it! Well, I say somehow, but it was really with blood, sweat, and many tears. But the point is, I have officially started college (and stayed for more than two weeks!). I'm back into the routine of studying and planning, and I'm thriving. Mostly. It wouldn't be me if I glided effortlessly through life, would it?

But life is good. Fall is in the air (it's more of a state of mind than a season, but both are quickly approaching). It's getting a bit hard to balance work and school, but it's going to get a lot easier in October (it's a whole thing, I don't know if I'll share it on here). Right now, I'm finishing up a lab report for Chem and binging catherine-rose on youtube (her videos are incredible, the embodiment of fall). I have the evermore record on in the background, birds chirping outside my window, and tiny pumpkins scattered around my room. I'm feeling good.

It's been a while since I've been in such a good head space. For once, I'm not panicking and analyzing every next step; I'm just living in the moment. And yeah, I still get stressed out and tired, but I'm content with where I am in life. I auditioned for a school production (I didn't get in, but I auditioned!), I study in the library almost every day, and I'm reigniting my love for learning. I'm even in the process of studying abroad next year! This leads me to my goals for this school year;

🍁 Stay ahead of all my work

🍁 Take a moment to appreciate the outdoors

🍁 Get everything set up for studying abroad

🍁 Find a new D&D group

🍁 Really understand the material, don't just do the assignments

There's not much else to say this time. Just wanted to update you guys on where I'm at and give you a few insights into my following projects. So, as always ✨stay safe, and ground yourself in the present✨

[justtrying-studyblog]

forgive yourself. forgive yourself for not being where you dreamed you would be. forgive yourself for all the wrong things you said. forgive yourself for the times you messed up even when you’ve tried your best. forgive yourself for the way you hurt, belittle, or abandon yourself in the past or in the present. forgive yourself for not being perfect. you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy (of love, understanding, compassion, kindness).

[justtrying-studyblog]

"Hate is loud, but I think you’ll learn it’s because it’s only a few people shouting, desperate to be heard."

—TJ Klune, The House in the Cerulean Sea