justsomegrl

[justsomegrl]

hmmmmmm.....

[justsomegrl]

to remember when love beckons to you, follow, Though the ways are hard and steep. And when wings enfold you yield to it, Though the sword hidden may wound you. And when love speaks to you believe in it.  For even as love crowns you so shall it crucify you. Even as love is for your growth so is love for your pruning. Even as love ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall love descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn love gathers you unto itself. Love threshes you to make you naked. Love sifts you to free you from your husks. Love grinds you. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[justsomegrl]

i’ve been trying to cartography my lovers.  maybe if i could see it the sense would stand out finally.

all the in-betweens, the maybes and the whoops.  

all those eclipses that occurred only in a glance.

tracing it way back .

trying to make sense of the reoccurring bumps.  the keep you up all night achings, the one night stands, the not so consensual blurs.  

the nausea that your gut punches you with, “run!” she whispers.  why do I freeze?  why do I wait to test if she’s right?  why not just oblige?  my body proves over and over to be much wiser than this heart of mine.

the rollercoasters from infatuation to hatred.  the mirrors all the plays have revealed to my psyche.  whether rose filtered or triggering.... always pointing me to the roots of my defensive mechanisms with lovers.

i still rush past you and wonder if you can hold a steady breathe because I cant.  i see that i grieve more than i had spent time with them - why linger in my mind so long?

“why is your heart beating so fast” he asked hoovering over me.

“i don’t know you would have to ask my heart”.  he never asked.

i know need to do some mapping of this heart.

[justsomegrl]

#mood

[justsomegrl]

omg, me in a month

[justsomegrl]

womb

[justsomegrl]

[justsomegrl]

[justsomegrl]

"Everything is gestation. To let each impression & each germ of feeling come to completion wholly in itself, in the inexpressible, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own intelligence, & await with deep patience the birth-hour of a new clarity: that alone is living the artist’s life, in understanding and in creating. ~Rilke {image: Catrin Welz-Stein}

[justsomegrl]

renewal. infinity. cycles

[justsomegrl]

[justsomegrl]

Teach your sons how to be lovers. Teach your sons how to treat a lady. Teach your sons so that they will know how to handle a woman with a heart so wild. Don’t tame her. She’s a flower in her own garden. Just love her whole.

@poeticharmonylove Karen Owusu (via poeticharmonylove)

[justsomegrl]

maybe not a disorder but a miracle

[justsomegrl]

when your baby hears you telling other people what you think your birth plan is going to be 

[justsomegrl]

citoyen

[justsomegrl]

saturday goals