justmeandmythoughtson - Tumblr blog

[justmeandmythoughtson]

This post was triggered by something that @roachpatrol​ said over here about the expectation for girls to be sweet and clean and harmless:

Holy shit, if I was eight years younger and wandering into fandom for the first time, I can guarantee that the culture right now would’ve fucked me up and ground me down and taken away all my healthy outlets.

Picture: you are a girl at the tender young age of mumbledyteen. Up until this point you have been taught that all dark thoughts are literally hand-delivered into your head by the devil, and that the only correct method of dealing with negativity is to ignore them and pray harder. Concentrate on what is good and righteous and pure to the exclusion of all else, this is how you be a good person.

You are also a fully-functioning human being, one who can feel stressed or lonely or angry or any number of bad things. Mostly, with emotions that are still working themselves out, you feel this rumbling, white-hot white noise under everything, all the time. Sometimes it rolls in like a thunderstorm and everything else gets drowned out, and sometimes it’s only quietly muttering in the distance. Either way it’s always there, and the sound shreds uncomfortably at the inside of your brain.

When you were younger, before you were in charge of your own media consumption, your brain would shred up a myriad of saccharine stories to try and match the noise of the shredder in your head. Bad things happening, people getting hurt, characters trapped in unhealthy relationships of all kinds.

Fanfiction, the product of a hundred thousand other mumbledyteens whose brains are all screaming the same way, makes something in your brain go ping. 

Unfortunately, if the planet had ever been united on any single message, it was probably that no matter how you feel: 1) your feelings weren’t unique 2) they didn’t matter 3) they didn’t matter because they weren’t unique, they were shared among millions of hysterical, worthless teenaged girls just like you.

Fandom was confirmation of the first, but (with some hiccups along the way) outright rejection of the last two. Fuck you, our feelings do matter, and this is a story just for us.

A disclaimer: these aren’t good stories, otherwise they wouldn’t have to be defended. Their flavor of topic is not within societally acceptable bounds. Fictional characters have sex and get tortured and raped and abused, but their screaming harmonizes with the pitch of the shredder when it’s burrowing deepest.

As a teenager I never thought that my feelings were important enough to deal with, but these stories let me look at them sideways. Audience catharsis is the whole point of tragedy, after all.

And hell, these days I’m a happy, healthy adult who barely even has the urge to go looking for whump fic when I’ve had a bad week. I’m not going to forget just how much bad stuff that fic helped me air out, though, not ever. (Not to mention that thanks to all of those abuse!fics, I can recognize an unhealthy relationship at 500 paces, even if the fictional abuse was depicted as something loving and romantic. Abusers in real life don’t go around with helpful warning tags on their sleeves anyway.)

But holy shit, can you imagine if I’d found fandom as it is today.

Yes, your church is right, your family is right. Horrible things in stories are only there because they were written by horrible people, and they’re only popular because horrible people read them. The very concepts they address corrupt everything they touch.

That shredder in your head, the one that takes innocent cartoons but then shits out sadness and mayhem? That’s disgusting, you’re disgusting. How dare you think about minors having underaged sex, you minor? How dare you consider another person getting hurt? Your feelings don’t matter, they aren’t unique, they’re shared with all kinds of worthless shitbags just like you.

Every ounce of what you read and write and enjoy is going to be weighed for sin and tested for purity. You know, just like the rest of your life, except this time there’s no deity who’s handing out second chances.

Maybe that’s what bothers me most about all of this. It’s the same petty fandom bullshit as always, but “you’re wrong for liking a ship because IT WILL NEVER BE CANON” is a hell of a lot easier to laugh off when you’re young than “you’re wrong for liking a ship because YOU’RE AN ABUSIVE PEDOPHILE AND IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR PERPETUATING IT.”

My fault, my bad thoughts, no outlet for any of them. The message to repress all the bad things so I can look like a good person, but my brain is so full of unprocessed shit that it’s solidified. Nobody actually saved any real children, but my brain sure is getting a second dose of fucked-up.

Are the people getting attacked going to be okay, will they be able to go and address their braingremlins somewhere else? I’d also ask if the people doing the attacking are okay, with all of the denial and repression they must deal with, but it seems like they’ve got venting pretty well handled by taking it out on strangers. 

Hey, c’mon, calm down friends. I bet I’ve read a story that’s got a character screaming at just the same pitch you are.

It helps to read one of those and harmonize your voices, I promise.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

I honestly cannot believe how far T(W)ERF rhetoric has spread on this site. They used to be the ONLY ones I saw openly mocking the concept of identifying as queer, the ONLY ones I saw referring to people as ‘kweer’ in a mocking way.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Fantasies *might* "empower" a predator to take action, I suppose that's happened at least once in history, but, spoiler alert - if a person can be prompted by fiction to do something THAT grossly immoral and horrific to another person, then they were looking for a goddamn excuse to do that anyway.

Blaming the make-believe story or artwork does NOTHING. Blame the piece of shit using fiction to say "I thought it was okay because I read a Yucky Book." They do NOT get to use "this series of novels 'normalized' attacking people for me" to defend themselves: they knew better, and they did. Not. CARE. They made a decision and acted on it.

Harming other people is immoral and wrong because someone is actively being hurt. But nobody is actively being hurt in fantasy. There's no actual victim. Sure, it can be gross and repulsive and horrific, but it's not immoral for existing. It - and the characters it depicts - are objects. You cannot assign a moral value to an object. It's morally neutral.

Actions are what dictates morality. People being directly harmed is what dictates morality.

Keep predators responsible for their horrific actions.

Also: can people please quit using the word "normalize"? It means nothing. You do not start thinking that evil things are Normal and Good if you read/look at art or writing with those evil things in them. You MAY, however, become desensitized - and this is not necessarily a bad thing. It's just how your brain protects you from a panic response, and lets you stay calm in a stressful situation. I promise, not having a strong emotional reaction to Evil Things in fiction doesn't mean you think they Actually Okay Now.

The fact is that if you enjoy children in any sexual context of any kind you are a pedophile like literally how can you justify that? How can you seriously not understand that sexualizing children is wrong? If you had a kid and someone drew a picture of them getting raped would you be fine with that? If someone drew you as a child getting raped would that be good? Bc if someone did that to me or my child, I would literally fucking eviscerate them with my teeth.

hey why the fuck would you send this to a survivor of abuse?

there’s a difference between real and fictional children wtf is wrong with you

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Also, fiction DOES affect reality? Nobody is saying it doesn't? What we DO say is that, if you already know and understand why sexualizing REAL children is wrong, no amount of fanfiction featuring some Make-Believe People doing Make-Believe Things is going to change that.

Your reality influences your interpretation of fiction FAR more than the other way around. IRL influences should be and are the strongest influences in your life. If you're learning how to act morally from fandom, of all things, there's bigger problems in your life than a rando's squicky fanart. And that's not the fanart's fault.

Also, just as reassurance to anyone wondering: if you are looking at a fanfic or fanart of "Immoral Things" and you don't feel repulsed, this is not a sign you think it's okay irl. This is not a warning that you are becoming a terrible person.

You have been desensitized, yes, but desensitization is NORMAL. It's HEALTHY. It's your brain learning to respond to a stressful or distressing situation WITHOUT panic, disgust, or horror - it's a survival skill.

You are still capable of understanding how that Terrible Thing is wrong IRL. You are still capable of being compassionate to victims of that Terrible Thing, you are still capable ofnl fighting against it IRL. The ONLY thing that has changed is that you are able to do those things calmly.

You're not a bad person for not feeling strong emotions. You're not a bad person for being desensitized to things you read or see in fictional contexts. I promise.

You don't have to feel horrified to act. And it's the action that matters.

I don’t know which horny writer needs to hear this but your character shouldn’t be 17

[justmeandmythoughtson]

I can confirm the blog exists, but it looks a LOT like a vent-blog. They reblog a lot from dyke///anti too.

ALERT!! IHPAZ IS NOT TRULY GONE its seems to be they are now using the url zoloft-paxil

Thanks for the submission, person who decided to remain anonymous. If possible, please help me report her new blog so she can be gone for good

@just-antithings @heroes-never-discourse @antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx @block-report-program2 @androgynousblackbox @puritycultureistoxic

TW: BLOG CONTAINS MENTIONS OF ABUSE, SELF HARM, CSA, and CSEM

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Alright, so, as you all know, people have been starting shit with Cheryl and spreading lies. This post will contain a lot of users to block, all of whom will also be compiled at the end of the post. These are posts that were sent in, with links. I will start with the first post sent.

This all started over her writing nsfw of fictional 17 y/os and having a rape kink. Neither of these make someone a horrible person. They then reverse searched her selfie, and started making fun of her appearance, as well as slandering both her and her husband.

While her husband has stalking and harassment on his record, said case was from November 2005(with no other things in the same vein since), and could not be considered pedophilic due to the ages. However, her husband was not tried nor charged at all for murder, as these antis claim, and Cheryl herself has no criminal record.

In short, these antis twisted facts and everyone else ate it up, despite the fact that there is no evidence of such things going on. Even the paper they showed only talked about her husband's stalking/harassment charges. They also continued to harass her, which is pretty ironic/hypocritical.

And another post;

And another post:

Despite saying that 'I don't believe her and her husband did it' they still reblog posts contradicting this statement.

I will add on in the reblog due to the image limit.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Also, bi/pan lesbians DOES NOT say lesbians can be attracted to men??? Like, nonbinary people exist, hello, and if a person who is mostly attracted to women wants to call themselves a "bi/pan lesbian" to acknowledge that they're sometimes attracted to nonbinary people as well, then wtf is the problem?

It's NEVER a queer/lgbt+ person's fault when a CisHet (TM) person doesn't take no for an answer. It is NEVER their fault that their identity is misunderstood. It's the fault of the person who can't accept that Not Interested = Not Interested

C'mon dog, bi lesbian is biphobic bc it says bi people are inherently less lgbt, lesbophobic bc it says lesbians can be attracted to men, and super transmisogynistic BC IT WAS INVENTED BY TERFS TO DESCRIBE LESBIANS WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO TRANS WOMEN.

No it doesn’t,

No it doesn’t,

No it wasn’t.

Where does this bullshit come from?

[justmeandmythoughtson]

MEKFJEJJ2EJDUNWJWKSKE

OH MY GOD I KNEW I'D SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE 😭😭😭😭😭

IZUKU CANONICALLY HATES ABUSERS

SO PLEASE DON'T SHIP HIM WITH BAKUGOU!

Bakugou made his entire childhood miserable, he destroyed his self esteem and is the cause of the depression he went through in middle school.

Bakudeku, in its core, is also homophobic. People ship it for the abusive power dynamic, b/c they think gay people getting hurt is hot.

PLEASE JUST SHIP HIM WITH LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

The fact that a bunch of people actually mistook this as a serious post truly shows how ridiculous the whole 🐜 thing has become - literally, I've seen this stuff almost word for word (but serious) before 😭😭😭

IZUKU CANONICALLY HATES ABUSERS

SO PLEASE DON'T SHIP HIM WITH BAKUGOU!

Bakugou made his entire childhood miserable, he destroyed his self esteem and is the cause of the depression he went through in middle school.

Bakudeku, in its core, is also homophobic. People ship it for the abusive power dynamic, b/c they think gay people getting hurt is hot.

PLEASE JUST SHIP HIM WITH LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Antis have exposed minors to REAL CP

a 13-year-old running a twitter account dedicated to reposting +18 artwork to "expose the nasties" has been shut down and supposedly swatted for posting real, uncensored child pxrnxgraphy.

i am not fucking kidding.

and now everybody, most of which are minors, are asking to see the removed content and people with the "receipts" are giving it to them.

this is possession/distribution of child sex abuse, and is extremely illegal.

this is not a matter of "they don't know any better" either;

they know. they know that jojo fanart is not comparable to the horrors of cp. they are choosing to lie instead, to get their kicks out of swatting real people over what they know is legal.

for years. we have been warning that equating cartoons to real cp would only desensitize people to the real deal. and here we fucking are.

we are +18. if you are a minor. unfollow us. right. fucking. now.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

It reminds me of the fact that so many other proshippers/anti-antis will happily say "antis have brainrot" and things like that. Even those that are ND themselves. I think a lot of people in our community don't want to acknowledge they may hold bigoted views or not consider how they're feeding into the negative attitudes towards disabled and ND folk - proship-cryptid

Oh, absolutely. Pro-shippers will constantly talk about bigotry in anti spaces but god forbid marginalized pro-shippers ever talk about issues we have in our community. Just the ableism alone is horrific; I’ve had to call out way too many pro-shippers for saying ableist and sanist bullshit about antis. It feels like disabled pro-shippers and those of us with ~scary~ disorders (personality disorders, psychosis, etc) are just clumped together in a corner of the community, side-eying everyone else and quietly waiting for them to start dropping slurs.

And that’s not even getting into the horrible racism, xenophobia, transphobia, and aphobia in the community lmao

[justmeandmythoughtson]

Interestingly enough, I’ve been in The Discourse (TM) for long enough to know how shitty antis can be. Thanks for reminding me of shit I’ve been through, which is a backstory you’re 100% not entitled to know about. I’m well aware AO3 wasn’t created by antis (obviously?) and I’m well aware that antis’ aim is NOT to make their own safe place. That was not what my comment was about.

My point was: For one brief moment, people ACTUALLY thought that they were making a separate space. A space that we (proshippers) did not have to go to, where they could all migrate to and self-destruct on their own. And the response of some pro-shippers (not necessarily anyone in this thread - proship twitter was very vocal) was to make like an anti and shit ALL over a place created FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Sure, pro-shippers weren’t telling anyone to off themselves, because for the most part we don’t actually do that nasty shit. But that doesn’t make what we WERE doing any less wrong.

If you have a problem with me telling you not to mock another person, or the actions of another person, then you’re part of the larger problem I have with the internet. Which is, namely, the main problem I also have with antis. And that problem is that people do NOT know how to ignore and block shit that they do not like.

I get it, the fanpol piss you off. Maybe they’ve hurt you in the past. Your nasty, sarcasm-filled response to my comment made that abundantly clear. And to be frank, they piss ME the fuck off too.

But I’m also not about to resort to their shitty, hate-filled tactics. Being a decent person requires affording civility to *fucking everyone,* even if you don’t like them. And if that means pointing out the fact that “hey making fun of this was actually kind of a shitty move” then holy hell I guess that means I just have to move on with my life and stop being an asshole.

Last thing. I’m not “defending antis.” I’m fucking defending PEOPLE. And mocking other people is never justified - it always comes from a place of frustration and anger, both of which are NOT conducive to a deescalation of fandom hostility. And it doesn’t solve jackshit - just gives someone the nice endorphin rush of putting someone else down. Miss me with that shit.

They lost me at no kinks but REALLY put nail in coffin at orginal content and self insert

Just throw creativity out the the window akjdakdsm

[justmeandmythoughtson]

I'm gonna be real. It's honestly disappointing that, even if this WAS a troll, an attempt to create a separate, safe space for antis was jumped on and made fun of so quickly. Especially when that's LITERALLY what proshippers been telling them to do all along. To make their own, curated space, where they can enjoy shit and not shit all over anyone else while doing it.

We have AO3, and it's clearly not going away anytime soon. So if the fanpol ever actually make their own, sanitized space, fucking LET THEM without immediately poking fun at it. Good god.

If it's unsustainable, it's unsustainable, and you can quietly have your "I told you so" with a few friends. But shitting all over a (admittedly fucking toxic) group's attempt at curating their own space? Even if it WAS fake - what the fuck, guys.

I'll admit I'm guilty of laughing at this when I first saw it too, but the more I think about it, the more fucked-up that reaction gets.

They lost me at no kinks but REALLY put nail in coffin at orginal content and self insert

Just throw creativity out the the window akjdakdsm

[justmeandmythoughtson]

If you're and inclusionist and you don't want people who actually hate you and everything you stand for in your community, you're clearly not keeping yourself and your space safe or anything, you're being an exclusionist

/s

If you're an inclusionist but exclude truscum, exclusionists, conservatives, etc.

You're an exclusionist.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

fuck it i’m finally making this post because goddamn i wish i saw it when i was younger

to the minors who follow me:

if anyone significantly older than you approaches you on the internet or in real life in a romantic or sexual way, do. not. communicate with them. the second it becomes anything other than respectful or friendly in any way or if they make you even slightly uncomfortable, block. them. cut them out of your life. they are not worth it and they will hurt you. run. protect yourself. and be safe.

[justmeandmythoughtson]

The Banned Together Bingo is coming your way!

Do you enjoy creating fanwork with elements that were once or may still be considered taboo? Are you tired of finding fandom content blacklisted by the majority of fandom communities and events because it’s “immoral” or “illegal”? Have you repeatedly encountered censorship masquerading as “moral protection” in fandom? Would you enjoy the challenge of producing fan content with prompts from real censors like these?

“Flirtation with a teacher that almost goes too far" 

“Werewolfism”

Makes promiscuous sex “look like fun”

“Unique or unusual methods of concealing weapons”

And so, so many (way TOO many) more reasons works have been censored? 

It’s time to band together against censorship in the Banned Together Bingo!

This bingo aims to shamelessly celebrate fanworks featuring banned topics while educating participants on the long, absurd, ongoing history of censorship. All you have to do is create a fanwork around the given bingo prompt and tag the work appropriately. Here, you won’t be asked to justify why you wrote a particular ship or about a particular subject, nor will you be harassed or suspended for exploring matters of a less-than-savory nature. Just be courteous to your moderators and other participants, and have fun creating whatever your id, your mind, or your heart desires!

The Banned Together Bingo sign-ups start on May 2, 2020. Please follow us here at @bannedtogetherbingo2020 for updates. We will have more details for you soon!

[justmeandmythoughtson]

I CANNOT handle how people see Beastars and immediately jump to pedophilia first, of all things.

Like, you’d THINK if they could figure out that the characters weren’t REAL ANIMALS, they could piece together the rest. But no, short and cute automatically means child, while having bunny ears and being covered in fur doesn’t mean rabbit.

I saw anti saying Beastars have misogynistic and pedophilic undertones or some shit because Haru was almost naked few times on screen and she is childish, in lolita way (which doesn't make sense because she doesn't dress in lolita fashion??)

In WHAT way is she even childish?? She is one of the most mature characters in the series. Do they mean because she is small? Because if so, that is fucking gross, don’t infantilize women like that just because they aren’t tall. I guess they mean lolita because she could be similar to the character of the book lolita? Or something like that?Anyway, gross take all around.